Newbies Nest

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Hey BB:

That's so great it's helping. Reminds me though that sometimes I never left a party....
About the Boot Camp...It looks like I should. I know i should. It just seems others are so lucid here. So clear with their goals and motivations....
All I know for certain is I am so self loathing sometimes it's hard to breathe and I look back on a wrecked life that others dont see that way but I do and looking at 1,2,3,4 years and beyond not drinking looks gigantic like a glaciar to me.

But I know I have to get there.
I know I have to get to 30.
I know I have to get out from under my own fricken ego.
I know I could have been someone really great if I had just been someone else.

I don't know. I am on Day 4 so....26 to go? Do I need to fill out an App?

Well, Jokes aside...Ummmm
When do I have to decide?
Hugs,
:l

PS: It's not that I am planning not to plan. It's just that I'm planning not to think about it..well, me, really. I'm sick of me uch:

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

teezah;1338697 wrote: Hi everyone - just a bit worried about LillyE's workload -she has a lot on her plate! Hope i'm not being out of line here, as I haven't yet decided if I am ready to commit to 30 days, but be assured I am seriously considering it.

I propose each boot camper takes a day to be boot camp manager - or camp commandant, if you like ? Just to welcome new members, celebrate milestones, make the refreshments, do the dusting etc.

Great idea Teezah! I love it and I think that means you have to join us Well, of course you don't have to, but I hope you will. I think it'd be great if people could take turns daily posting inspiration, links, quotes, questions for us to think about, general encouragement etc. (And I do have a lot on at the moment so I'm worried about being a reliable enough arse kicker... sorry, I mean boot camp manager... on my own

Not to mention I'm struggling right this very second. One of my few single friends, who really likes to drink, wants me to go out tonight to this party. Part of me doesn't really want to go - it's winter here and I could easily stay home and hibernate as I've been doing, hot bath, movie, book etc. Part of me feels "boring" and like I ought to, but really afraid if I go I'll drink. And Friday night is always a trigger for me. And this party is at a pub! What to do... sighs. Tomorrow night is another dinner party I'll have to explain I'm not drinking at.

Awh, Kradle, I'm really sorry you hear that way. Have you considered seeing a therapist to help you work through all these painful feelings? I hope some solid AF time could help restore your sense of self worth and contentment. In the meantime :l

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

I know for me one thing I need to keep thinking about and remembering is WHY I want to 30 days. Why does this matter?

Need to finish some work now before the weekend starts but will try to post more on that soon. Anyone else got feelings about it they want to share - dive in.

[Didz]

Newbies Nest

Hiya all, day 2 for me. It's 5.20 pm on Friday afternoon here down under- prime drinking time! I'm going for a run. Need some endorphins to make it to day 3.

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Hey Didz,

Glad to see another Downunderer here. Sometimes there's no one posting when I am. I hear you. As posted above I'm totally struggling right now because it's Friday eve and I've been invited out to the pub and I'm wrestling with myself. Stay home and feel 'boring' but not drink or go out and risk it...

Hope your run helped. A great idea! Hope to hear more about you too. If you've posted here before sorry I missed it.

Lilly

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Hi Lily
I'm here although it's 9.15 am here in Uk.
Friday is just another night - you don't want to spoil your weekend by being hungover.
I've calculated this is the 16th consecutive Fri I haven't drunk.
You will be so mad with your self tomorrow if you give in.
Is there anything else you can do this evening to treat yourself / go anywhere that doesn't involve alcohol?
Read old motivating posts on here , jot down why you want to be sober. Where you see yourself in1, 5 and 10 yrs if you quit alcohol.

Sausage x
Day 120

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Oh thank you Sausage - I'm so glad you're on here right now

I have decided not to go to the party. It's just asking for trouble. I don't have any other plans in the offing. Unfortunately these days not too many friends are up for spontaneous plans - unless they involve alcohol! - as they're largely either couples with babies OR single drinking friends.

I think that's one of my issues with tonight. As a single woman I feel like I should be 'getting out there' trying to meet people and it's only so often there are party invites these days that might not just be all the couples I know. But then again, I never met guys much in bars and pubs anyway. And, as I was saying to a single friend today when we were discussing internet dating, all the biggest dating mistakes or poor choices I ever made about men invariably involved too much alcohol.

I feel a bit flat, so not in the mood for cooking, which I usually love, but I am going to get myself some nice tea and get some good food and cosy up with a book and/or DVD and have a hot bubble bath and go to bed early. I have plans to do a 10km walk with a friend tomorrow, which I bet wouldn't happen if I went out tonight and ended up drunk.

And I have been reading on here for inspiration and will continue to do so.

Thanks for the words - I just really needed even the smallest nudge of support right now.

L x

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Yes Lilly, it sounds as though meeting someone in a bar right now for future dates, is the last thing you want to do. It would only make things worse!
I rarely go to bars and social situations like that because of my children, but I have just been away for 3 nights and in restaurants / bars / each night and despite the fact that I'd almost 120 days under my belt and am very determined, it was really tough being in that situation and at one point I nearly caved.

It sounds tough but you are going to have to avoid these kind of situations right now in the short term, but it doesn't mean you have to have no social life. Your future from now on isn't going to revolve around drinking and bars. What do you want to do ? Where would you meet like minded people. Internet dating or taking up hobbies/ activities where you might meet people whose lives don't revolve around drink, may be the way to go? Then months down the line, when you are stronger you may eventually be able to revisit a bar, but you'd always need to be on your guard, and have a firm plan in place. If your friends won't do anything other than drink with you then they are not the kind of "friends" you need in your life right now.

[burger]

Newbies Nest

Hi all
This is my first visit and hope to get help or advise from those with experience. Been struggling for years to help my partner with his addictions to alcohol and more recently cocaine. He attends AA and I go to al anon, been on an expensive and intensive 10 day rehab which have helped but not 'cured' and discovered the french doctors story about baclofen about 4 months ago.
He saw our doctor who had heard about bac and was happy to prescribe for him, great! So he's been taking it since April and noticed immediate reduction in craving of alcohol but the coke seems to be a much harder nut to crack!
Does any one have experience of using baclofen for cocaine addiction?
At the moment he has reached 100mg a day and is telling me that he isn't using coke. HELP!

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

You are right Sausage, I know. It just feels a bit boring right now and it doesn't help that my friend just texted me that I am 'lame' for staying in on a Friday night. I know she is only half kidding. But then again, I know that she herself has an alcohol problem.

It's not that all my friends do is drink but heavy drinking is so rife in this culture that even people who don't drink that much probably drink quite a bit by some culture's standards. But then, perhaps Scotland isn't all that different? I know the UK and Ireland aren't. The US seems to be to me. But I think Australia is the most alcohol fueled country I've lived in/travelled in anyway.

But that's neither here nor there. As I said, while I've certainly met men while drinking I've never been much one for 'picking up' in bars and now isn't the time to start. And I just knew various things about tonight would make it too hard. I think I need to hunker down for a bit, be 'boring', do other social stuff and give myself some time. I just have to remember I'm doing something important to change my life. It's easy to lose sight of why that's important at times like these.

I have been getting more and more involved with a volunteer organization here. And perhaps I do need to find some other hobbies/ways to meet people that don't involve drinking. I mean, I do have an active social life - just so often there is booze involved even if it's not a night at the pub. It's so at the centre of how we socialize.

Well, I will be social tomorrow on my walk with a friend and out at the dinner party sans booze. It'll be easier there than at a pub.

Thanks again.

Lx

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Sorry, hi there Burger, unfortunately I know nothing about baclofen and next to nothing about overcoming cocaine addiction - that's gotta be tough - but I just wanted to say welcome and I hope someone comes along soon with better advice. I know there are meds threads here. Have you posted your question elsewhere too? That could help? Or in the New - Need Help thread?

[burger]

Newbies Nest

Thanks will try other threads. This is my first time using this kind of page so all advise greatfully received.
Good luck with the fags I understand baclofen can help with that too !

[Didz]

Newbies Nest

I'm back. Fancy a sausage and a burger on the same post! I've kicked a few goals tonight...went for a run, resisted McDonald's for dinner when I bought it for the kids and got breathalyzed on the way home. I felt so proud saying I haven't touched alcohol tonight to the cop in front of my kids!! Zero reading for a Friday night!!!

I feel your pain Lilly - it will only be a couple of weeks and your friend will be admiring what you're doing and wishing it didn't have a stronghold over her- either that or she will pick up some loser that she can't get rid of- you hang in there and make sure you tell yourself how proud you are when you're on your walk tomorrow. You'll feel really good.

Wow burger- it must be so hard with cocaine in the mix. I too am not in the know but wish I could help. I've just had a look at the tools too and there seems to be some good stuff in there. It's just getting through one day at a time hey.

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Kradle...you seem so down!!! I hate seeing you this way epecially when I saw how happy and self confident you were when you had more AF time behind you! And about the boot camp...there is no specified start date....you start whenever you feel ready to try and commit to 30 days. If you hit a bump in the road along the way you're not going to get sent in time out..heehee....you just climb right back aboard with a new start date. For me doing it ay by day just wasn't working. As we all know..there is no right way or wrong way to to try to get AF. It is whatever works and is comfortable for the individual person. Hell...I've tried just about everything and ended back at day 1 too many times yet I have never set a goal for 30 days AF. It's already as if my mind is getting re-wired....very weird....but instead of obsessing over the day I am looking forward. I am on day 5 and so far so good....just a little upset tummy. I am hoping that when I hit 30 days my mind is clear enough for me to make a plan for my next 30 AF days and so on and so forth. I am so hoping this helps you feel a little better. It is ony 5 am here you are so I am sure you are still sleeping...so when you wake up remember that today is another day...hopefuly it will be a nice sunny day for you!:rays: I wish you lived closer so I could give you a hug...but this will have to do! :l

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

hello again everyone. i disappeared for awhile into mod- land. AGAIN! i was going to wait until later to write, when i have a bit more time. am heading out the door for a walk and shopping with my daughters. i've spent most of the morning reading posts from the past week or so and i love the idea of joining you all for a boot camp. i want to give myself the gift of having 30 days AF--which i haven't done since i was pregnant 8 years ago. so this is a quicke to make myself accountable. so that i don't buy anything to drink whilst shopping. so that i don't convince myself that i can start tomorrow.