Newbies Nest

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

TEEZAH AND FIN well DONE on your respective wins recently. That is awesome. As is Sausage's four months sober -- we are full of win here! I am sooo proud of you all. And I tell you, I was feeling so unmotivated after my slide into the abyss at 17 days but this has all really brought my motivation back to life. Love it!

Teezah, yes, whatever Boot Camp start date is fine. A bunch of us have Monday 18th of Jan but any date is good.

Speaking of, I had been keeping notes on Boot Campees trying to keep track of all who were joining and where everyone was at but now so many of you have said they're in I've lost track again, which is great, so just keep posting on your progress peeps. First to hit 30 days ought win something special I say

Roon, I'm sorry I made that cafe comment then. Look, I totally understand as I'm struggling with all that myself. For me, anyway, I think the Catch 22 may be that it may take some solid time sober to start to really discover what you enjoy that doesn't involve drinking and also that not drinking isn't so horribly boring after all. But that takes a bit of a leap of faith doesn't it? I am trying to adjust my attitude about it all but I totally admit I'm not 100% there and still think of drinking as "fun" and sober stuff as being "boring". Though I did have a truly lovely AF weekend, even around drinkers!

Can I give you a wee bit of tough love though hon? I totally agree with LG - of COURSE we don't need to be told there are AF places to meet people. But if you are so resistant to the idea that anything/anywhere else could be fun - perhaps that is worth examining a little more? I relate, I do, but I also think it's your addict's defense mechanisms kicking in too. Try at least considering the idea that alternatives might exist and ones that you could come to enjoy?

Otherwise, all I can suggest is that you devote some time that you would have spent drinking to reading until your eyes bleed on here, elsewhere, books… just trying to shift your perspective a little. That's what I'm trying to do anyway. And, again, can you focus on just those 30 days for now? Things might have naturally shifted a bit for you by the end of them with any luck.

And, hell, failing all else, maybe you and I should be heading off to AA to try and pick up cute (sober) guys…

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

what a great lot of stories/posts yesterday!!
i have to say you all really helped me pull through the day without drinking. i thought of our common struggle and clearly of my goals. and that it's just 30 days and then i can re-evaluate if i want to.
it's also helped me to visualize what the alcohol is doing to the inside of my body--from the moment i swallow it. the pickling of my organs, how no other nutrients i ingest have a chance to do their good if i'm drinking. how all the hours of sweating it out at the gym and track are done completely in vain.
i'm happy to say it's day 3!! and it looks like we all made it to monday.

i don't feel like i have much advice or many ideas to give. i am also trying to be patient and not make any rash decisions regarding my relationship--or anything for that matter. it helped, Byrdie, to hear once again that it takes at least 6 months to start to figure ourselves out again.
i am also just taking a leap of faith. and trying my best to be patient with myself. i've heard it's a virtue!!patience. we'll see.

hugs to you all!! a wonderful day..

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Hey there, everyone, thanks for putting up with my snappy attitude last night. I woke up this morning anxious about what I had written. I am so glad to know I didn't make anyone mad, especially since everyone is just trying to help and offer advice. I know you are right.

I went to my fitness boot camp at 6am this morning, still ill and frustrated that I've gotten myself into this mess of being an overweight, middle-aged, hermitized alcoholic. The hour was hard (this woman is brutal), but once it was all over, I felt this surge of calm and happiness. It was almost like someone gave me a big hug and told me it would be OK and that I was on the right track. My body is sore, but it's a great sore, and I feel like I'm finally being nice to my body instead of hurting it with that poison we are all so familiar with.

I know I will eventually replace the drinking with other things, and I also know it will take time. I have to learn to be patient. They say all good things are worth waiting for. As Dest says, baby steps. I will get there, I just know it.

Love you all. Hope you have a great sober Monday!

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Rooni....Boot camp at 6 am....damn girl....you are stronger than me! Ha! I am glad to see that you are still keeping up with it. I think it is awesome that you are having such great results...how great it must be to have that feeling of calm and happiness. We have been on a bumpy road and fallen out of the nest and off the wagon many times....I am so glad that you are finding comfort in your boot camp. You deserve a big hug and yes.....it will be OK.

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Howdy Folks,

Holy Mother of AL-Free Week! I haven't done this...ever? Ever since I started experimenting with AL? What it tells me is if you are ready, it can be done. Were there opportunities to cave? You bet, but the support and tacts for fighting off the temptations offered up by you fine folks has carried me to my first goal. Thank you!

Next, I know a lot of us have started down this road together, but I've lost track. One way to hold each other accountable each day is to post a roll call where we each add our name to the list along with the number of days we've been traveling down our individual roads to freedom. I donno...I'll post a roll call and we'll see who comes along. For me it's helpful to see that count each day + the people who are nearly in the same boat.

Have a great week and thanks again!

PS: Rooni, welcome. As my Dad would always say, "nothing shall be endured. This too [pain] shall pass".

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Well done Fin!!!!!!!! You had a bunch of temptations too and you totally rocked it!!!!! Wasn't it a great feeling to change your signature to 1 week...DONE! Pat yourself on the back....you deserve it!!!!!!

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Boot Camp Roll Call for June 25, 2012

(*Add your name to this running list if you want a daily log by hitting the Quote button on this post).

Fin - Day 8 (Week 1 Goal Achieved!)
Your Name Here and #Days off AL


FOOTNOTE: * If you hit the "Quote" button on this post, be sure to delete the [/QUOTE] symbol at the bottom of the page so your name will be added to this list and this post (vs. a new post). The goal is to preserve the names in one post over the course of a day. Alternatively, copy/paste the entire post as is into a "Quick Reply" before adding your own name and saving.

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Destiniey;1340655 wrote: Well done Fin!!!!!!!! You had a bunch of temptations too and you totally rocked it!!!!! Wasn't it a great feeling to change your signature to 1 week...DONE! Pat yourself on the back....you deserve it!!!!!!

Thank you!!! Well done yourself. You seem like a very strong woman, so keep it up. I think we all have our strong and weak sides. Just need to let the strength within kick some butt on that weak night person. Remember that quote, "morning guy hates night guy"? Can't remember where I heard that, but it's so flippin' true.

[Ellen_h]

Newbies Nest

Day 2

Hey Fin! :thanks:
Thanks for the words of support. I suspect that coming clean and admitting to my friends etc that I have an issue with AL might make things easier in some ways, but I guess I'm just too proud to. Years of hiding a problem makes a big habit of secrecy. I suppose I'm hoping that the great support I'm getting on here will be enough for me to at least get through boot camp. Saw the "I don't drink" mantra in the toolbox too; one I shall surely be using. Hard to say out loud to old buddies who think of you in a different light though, how to explain the sudden change of habits? At the moment I'm recovering from a really bad virus so I'm saying that I'm getting myself back to health and getting 'vitamined up' but I can't use that excuse indefinitely. I don't want to admit that I have (had) a problem with AL to near strangers every time I'm offered a drink - does anyone have any good suggestions for excuses to give for NOT drinking in a social situation?

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Destiniey;1340655 wrote: Well done Fin!!!!!!!! You had a bunch of temptations too and you totally rocked it!!!!! Wasn't it a great feeling to change your signature to 1 week...DONE! Pat yourself on the back....you deserve it!!!!!!

Destiniey, I'm going to add your name to the roll call as a test to make sure my instructions are correct.

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Roll Call June 25, 2012

Boot Camp Roll Call for June 25, 2012

(*Add your name to this running list if you want a daily log by hitting the Quote button on this post).

Fin - Day 8 (Week 1 Goal Achieved!)
Destiniey - Day 8 (Week 1 Goal Achieved!)

Next Name Here and #Days off AL


FOOTNOTE: * If you hit the "Quote" button on this post, be sure to delete the [/QUOTE] symbol at the very beginning and the bottom of this post so your name will be added to this list and this post (vs. an indented quoted post). The goal is to preserve the names in one clean post over the course of a day. Alternatively, copy/paste the entire post as is into a "Quick Reply" before adding your own name and saving.

[Ellen_h]

Newbies Nest

Boot Camp Roll Call for June 25, 2012

(*Add your name to this running list if you want a daily log by hitting the Quote button on this post).

Fin - Day 8 (Week 1 Goal Achieved!)
Destiniey - Day 8 (Week 1 Goal Achieved!)

Ellen_h - Day 2


FOOTNOTE: * If you hit the "Quote" button on this post, be sure to delete the [/QUOTE] symbol at the very beginning and the bottom of this post so your name will be added to this list and this post (vs. an indented quoted post). The goal is to preserve the names in one clean post over the course of a day. Alternatively, copy/paste the entire post as is into a "Quick Reply" before adding your own name and saving.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Well done, Boot Campers! Fin, your success is contageous!! Keep it up...it only gets better!
Ellen...it's nobody else's business what you are doing. You don't have to tell the world that you have an AL problem, besides, what good does that do? I'll tell you, there's a stigma out there about AL'ism....so just don't go there. A couple weeks back someone had a list of what to say when offered...I 'd suggest reading back to see if you can spot it...I'm pretty sure it was here in the nest....just to rattle off a few:
I'm detoxing.
I'm taking medication right now.
Last time I drank I got sick and swore I'd never drink again so I haven't.
Not right now, maybe later...
I'm trying to lose weight. Do you know how many carbs one glass of ______has?
I'm driving.
My kids are ______ and they may call for me to pick them up.
I have a bet with some friends!
My personal one is, "It's like battery acid to my insides".
B

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

It worked Fin.....great idea!!!!

Hi Ellen....I wrote to you on another thread but I don't know if you got it. I am the same with with AL....it has always been kept a secret. I rarely drank when I went out because I did my drinking at home...alone....pathetic. I would drink before I went out and when I got home. My husband and my daughter know of my probems with AL but I would rather not make it public knowledge as I feel I would be judged. That's why I am so thankful for being able to post on here. Before MWO I felt very alone...now I know that other people are going though the same thing. It's so nice to have a place where I can come to when I need to vent and a place where I can be brutally honest! Congrats on day 2....stay strong!!!

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Ellen_h;1340672 wrote: Hey Fin! :thanks:
Thanks for the words of support. I suspect that coming clean and admitting to my friends etc that I have an issue with AL might make things easier in some ways, but I guess I'm just too proud to. Years of hiding a problem makes a big habit of secrecy. I suppose I'm hoping that the great support I'm getting on here will be enough for me to at least get through boot camp. Saw the "I don't drink" mantra in the toolbox too; one I shall surely be using. Hard to say out loud to old buddies who think of you in a different light though, how to explain the sudden change of habits? At the moment I'm recovering from a really bad virus so I'm saying that I'm getting myself back to health and getting 'vitamined up' but I can't use that excuse indefinitely. I don't want to admit that I have (had) a problem with AL to near strangers every time I'm offered a drink - does anyone have any good suggestions for excuses to give for NOT drinking in a social situation?

Hi Ellen, I had a very-very social weekend and was asked quite a few times if I wanted either a beer, or whatever was circulating around at the time. Like I said in my original post, I'm a very social person who has always pounded the brews in good spirit in social settings. However, I finding it empowering to pass on offers.

I don't know if you're like me, but when someone would pass or say something to the effect that they didn't drink, inside I was envious. "How does he / she do that?" So, first of all I think we need to realize that even if someone says something stupid like, "come on...take a pull, join the party" they're really thinking, "damn...what a stud". Seriously, if you key into the situation I think you'll realize that there's respect in the air when you make such a positive and confident decision.

Now, as what to say. Here's what I used this past weekend:

1) Ah, thanks but I'm just taking a little break from the stuff. I was recently on a big salt water fly fishing trip and we hit it pretty hard. (Make up you're own little story).

2) I'm in a sort of reboot mode. Lately I've been having a few beers every day and I want to get back to a little more moderation so I can really enjoy these IPAs again. (This one had guys then looking at their own beers rather pensively)

3) I'm trying an experiment. I want to see if I can play my mandolin any better without drinking before and during the jam because lord knows, I need all the help I can get! (So, some humor can work too)

You know your social circles. Don't be afraid to play around with it a little. I can guarantee that your friends will love and respect you more for standing tall and doing what you feel is right for you -- just don't get self righteous as that's the kiss of death. Anyway, if these are loyal friends, you'll be totally fine. Go for it.