Newbies Nest

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie....well said! Unfortunately there is a stigma about AL which is totally unfortunate. I think more people would ask for help sooner if it was more accessible like quitting smoking. I thnk it was LillyE who had the list of what to say....some were pretty funny too! Tahnks for your posts.....i love em!!!!!

[Ellen_h]

Newbies Nest

Thanks guys! You are awesome! What great inspiration you are. How easy it is to weaken over minor issues like how to say no, your advice has made me strong again!

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Ellen_h;1340672 wrote: Hey Fin! :thanks:
Thanks for the words of support. I suspect that coming clean and admitting to my friends etc that I have an issue with AL might make things easier in some ways, but I guess I'm just too proud to. Years of hiding a problem makes a big habit of secrecy. I suppose I'm hoping that the great support I'm getting on here will be enough for me to at least get through boot camp. Saw the "I don't drink" mantra in the toolbox too; one I shall surely be using. Hard to say out loud to old buddies who think of you in a different light though, how to explain the sudden change of habits? At the moment I'm recovering from a really bad virus so I'm saying that I'm getting myself back to health and getting 'vitamined up' but I can't use that excuse indefinitely. I don't want to admit that I have (had) a problem with AL to near strangers every time I'm offered a drink - does anyone have any good suggestions for excuses to give for NOT drinking in a social situation?

I remember one night, Ellen, I was at a dinner party where we met once a week to taste different wines and have a lovely dinner. Wow, I used to socialize.:H But I digress, lol. Anyway, one night a person offered a friend of mine a big glass of red wine, after dinner, and he said angrily, "I've already had dinner, thank you!" LOL, it surprised me, and I just thought, he doesn't want to have all those calories. You could always say that.

P.S. Not the rude retort, lol, but just, "I'm watching what I eat and I can't afford all the empty AL calories."

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters

Ellen - you asked about what to say.
I think it's up to you personally what you want to come up with - you will find your own reason you are comfortable with, whether it is medication, driving, on a diet and don't want the empty calories,etc etc

You just can't tolerate the stuff any more, it makes you feel really unwell, and you don't want to make yourself feel rough.... Is always a good one ( and of course true!) - it is one I've used recently and no-one tends to push for further explanation.....if they do, you say it gives me really bad stomach pains / headaches ( insert whatever symptom you want!! ) - sadly even if I only have a little etc etc

Whatever excuse works for you, stick with it, be consistent.

However one thing I cannot stress enough ( and I say this from personal experience after being pressurised to have a glass of champagne at a party in 2009 and breaking over 8 months of sobriety only to commence daily drinking again.). Whatever you say, say it with conviction, without hesitation and in a very definite firm un persuadable voice. You make it absolutely clear that this is not something open to negotiation, otherwise people will try and twist your arm.

I've recently had a 3 night trip away surrounded by alcohol and I just was firm and said " no thank you i don't drink alcohol any more" . Only on a couple of occasions did I get pressurised to elaborate further ( these were old uni friends and former colleagues whom I hadn't seen for a little while and who knew me as a drinker) and I just said " I'm unable to im afraid, it just makes me feel really ill, im not sure why but I can't drink it like I used to, I don't want to make myself ill so I'll take a soft drink thanks"

Hope this is of help!

Sausage x
Day 123 AF

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Going to the Boot Camp Day - June 17

Fin;1340659 wrote: Boot Camp Roll Call for June 25, 2012

(*Add your name to this running list if you want a daily log by hitting the Quote button on this post).

Fin - Day 8 (Week 1 Goal Achieved!)
Your Name Here and #Days off AL


FOOTNOTE: * If you hit the "Quote" button on this post, be sure to delete the symbol at the bottom of the page so your name will be added to this list and this post (vs. a new post). The goal is to preserve the names in one post over the course of a day. Alternatively, copy/paste the entire post as is into a "Quick Reply" before adding your own name and saving.

Good morning Nesters:
OK Fin I looked at this and tried and it all came out kattywumpous ...
Since everyone's around day 8/9 and I'm on day 9 over here, I'm adding myself

Also I bought a Groupon for a 90 minute massage down in Gig Harbor - very posh, so if I make it to 30 I get o go use it!

So I will try the edit signature I think or Just say it once and then I'll know

He Destiney! You sound ready to go this sunny Monday! Are you riding? Pictures please.......
:h
Here I go to Boot Camp...

PS: And I though I was sending Matt there ! :H

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everybody!

I am about 20 pages behind, so I need to catch up! I just wanted you all to know I'm still here and available to offer support and encouragement as needed

Another AF weekend down, I've lost count on how many that makes now. Funny, I don't even really think about it anymore. What I DO think about, is the last time I drank and how much anxiety it caused me. I don't want that ever again!

I was with my family on Friday night and everyone was having cocktails, and reminiscing about how we used to rent this beach house every year. The conversation was totally centered around how much everyone drank (you wouldn't believe the bar they would set up....) I made some comment about "Boy there was a lot of alcohol around", and my dad goes "There's nothing worse than a reformed alcoholic"....um, I got a bit offended, but then I said "Well at least I'm reformed!"...LOL He apologized and said "I'll never live that down, will I?"...I said "Of course you will..I'm already over it!"....anyway, despite the "comments" we had a blast just hanging out with the family. Nobody got drunk, they all have 2 and quit....that's how I'm different from them!!! I would have gotten falling-down drunk....

Anyway, I need to catch up and see how everyone is doing. I hope you all have a great Monday...(ugh...lol)

K9

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Boot Camp Roll Call for June 25, 2012

(*Add your name to this running list if you want a daily log by hitting the Quote button on this post).

Fin - Day 8 (Week 1 Goal Achieved!)
Destiniey - Day 8 (Week 1 Goal Achieved!)
Ellen_h - Day 2
Kradle123 - Day 9


FOOTNOTE: * If you hit the "Quote" button on this post, be sure to delete all the [/QUOTE and what's between these brackets] symbols at the very beginning and the bottom of this post so your name will be added to this list and this post (vs. an indented quoted post). The goal is to preserve the names in one clean post over the course of a day. Alternatively, copy/paste the entire post as is into a "Quick Reply" before adding your own name and saving.

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Wow Fin. thanks!

I'm in there...that was easy...

:l

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

K9Lover;1340708 wrote: Hi Everybody!

I got a bit offended, but then I said "Well at least I'm reformed!"...LOL He apologized and said "I'll never live that down, will I?"...I said "Of course you will..I'm already over it!"....anyway, despite the "comments" we had a blast just hanging out with the family.
K9

Good Morning K9
Just wanted to say what a graceful response to your dad. He should be proud

I'd like to get to that point someday.....

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Kradle123;1340713 wrote: Good Morning K9
Just wanted to say what a graceful response to your dad. He should be proud

I'd like to get to that point someday.....

LOL...thanks Kradle...I have to keep in mind that "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree"...meaning I speak without thinking a lot too. LOL :H My dad and I are VERY similar, we're either the life of the party and everyone loves us, or we're annoying as hell to people. hehehehe

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Kradle123;1340712 wrote: Wow Fin. thanks!

I'm in there...that was easy...

:l

All you have to do is delete whatever's between the first and last quote brackets when you go into edit mode. Then save.

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

great job on your 7 days, Fin!! and Dest!!and hi again Ellen!!
even with your great detailed explanation, Fin, i stilll can't get my name on there!! will try again tomorrow.with day 4.
Roons, nothing better than starting the day with boot camp at 6am. exercise is my saving grace these days. i so relate to what you're saying-- a big hug to the body, a nice massage--i feel like i'm giving back a bit of what my poor body has been taking on these last years. sometimes i look at myself and think ooyay--this is going to take a lot of hard work and determination. and it is!!

was so fortunate to be able to take an hour long nap this afternoon. the kids are here and normally i pass out around the same time..go for a "nap". today it was real-- and though i felt slightly guilty, i chalked up to part of the healing process.
xoxo

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Hello!! I love the roll call...you all are doing great...and lifechange you're right about quoting Byrdie? at 9 months tomorrow - this is still a HUGE learning experience. Full of temptations.

I am having a hard time keeping up with the pace so if I say something that repeats someone else - I'm sorry! At first we all go along on the AF high - maybe able to go out - that first time or two of being out sober is enlightening - and a challenge - and a bit exciting! I think this is an excellent time to sit down and try to come up with a solid plan...because the newness does wear off...If you experienced a burst of energy or just a little blip of excitement at being ABLE to do a few days AF - be prepared to have "down" days....don't worry - they're always followed by "up" days eventually! but if you have a solid plan - you will expect this roller coaster and be able to deal with it. Make sure your plan includes what you are going to do when that craving comes out of nowhere and hits you up side the head! And for when your body seems to be possessed by someone or something else when it reaches for a drink or tells someone "sure".

Flying by the seat of your pants is not a plan....saying "well, I went out and didn't drink last night - I'm CURED!" isn't a plan...saying "I'm going to try not to drink today" isn't a plan....Figuring out - in advance - every possible scenario and how you will react to it in order to stay AF IS a plan....at least part of one....

It never hurts to add yet another link to the toolbox. :-)

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

Everybody's doing great - crankiness and all - LOL! It's to be expected.

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

hi again!
Ellen, i think it was Whisper who had a great list of excuses!!
yours are good, too Fin--and i was always one of those jealous of the people passing up the drinks with good "excuses". i always wished i was strong enough/ready to do that.
Kradle, is kattywompus (sp) a word lots of people use? i thought a good friend of mine and i were the only ones as i've not heard it often. then i say you're in seattle where i lived for 6 years--so now i'm wondering if it's a NW thing!? i'm raising my girls (not on purpose) to say it and their german dad (my ex) says it which is hilarious. anyway--just wondering--have to go back and read the last 2 pgs. everyone is posting now!

[teezah]

Newbies Nest

Boot Camp Roll Call for June 25, 2012

(*Add your name to this running list if you want a daily log by hitting the Quote button on this post).

Fin - Day 8 (Week 1 Goal Achieved!)
Destiniey - Day 8 (Week 1 Goal Achieved!)
Ellen_h - Day 2
Kradle123 - Day 9
Teezah - Day 2


FOOTNOTE: * If you hit the "Quote" button on this post, be sure to delete all the [/QUOTE and what's between these brackets] symbols at the very beginning and the bottom of this post so your name will be added to this list and this post (vs. an indented quoted post). The goal is to preserve the names in one clean post over the course of a day. Alternatively, copy/paste the entire post as is into a "Quick Reply" before adding your own name and saving.