Newbies Nest

[Butterbean]

Newbies Nest

rooniferd;1340362 wrote: Thanks Butterbean and Kradle, you're very sweet to care. Butter - no offense (because I know you are trying to help), but I really don't want suggestions of how to be social. I think I mentioned that in my post :-). Yes, I am a member of a gym, and at 9am, I am working, not at the gym.

Kradle - Masters degree in Technical Communication. I write software documentation at IBM.

Sorry, I'm a little ill tonight. I don't need advice on learning about AF events and activities. I need to learn to want to do those things - how to fit in at those things - because right now, anything fun equates to drinking - at least in my head.

Thanks guys, I know you are trying to help, but telling me to join a gym or go to a meetup group is so far from what I need right now...

NO offense taken, in fact that made me laugh out loud. My husband always says, I am a great nurse but terrible patient, I am always the problem solver and first to give advice because I am soooo good at solving everyone else's problems! I need to concentrate on my own! Some folks pray, some read, some head to the gym and everyone has their magic solution. Problem is, it changes every day! Have a good one.:h

[Butterbean]

Newbies Nest

Fin;1340685 wrote: Hi Ellen, I had a very-very social weekend and was asked quite a few times if I wanted either a beer, or whatever was circulating around at the time. Like I said in my original post, I'm a very social person who has always pounded the brews in good spirit in social settings. However, I finding it empowering to pass on offers.

I don't know if you're like me, but when someone would pass or say something to the effect that they didn't drink, inside I was envious. "How does he / she do that?" So, first of all I think we need to realize that even if someone says something stupid like, "come on...take a pull, join the party" they're really thinking, "damn...what a stud". Seriously, if you key into the situation I think you'll realize that there's respect in the air when you make such a positive and confident decision.

Now, as what to say. Here's what I used this past weekend:

1) Ah, thanks but I'm just taking a little break from the stuff. I was recently on a big salt water fly fishing trip and we hit it pretty hard. (Make up you're own little story).

2) I'm in a sort of reboot mode. Lately I've been having a few beers every day and I want to get back to a little more moderation so I can really enjoy these IPAs again. (This one had guys then looking at their own beers rather pensively)

3) I'm trying an experiment. I want to see if I can play my mandolin any better without drinking before and during the jam because lord knows, I need all the help I can get! (So, some humor can work too)

You know your social circles. Don't be afraid to play around with it a little. I can guarantee that your friends will love and respect you more for standing tall and doing what you feel is right for you -- just don't get self righteous as that's the kiss of death. Anyway, if these are loyal friends, you'll be totally fine. Go for it.

Fin,
Those are great. I will use something like it this weekend. I have to come out of my hermit shell and go out to a friend's bday get together at a wine tasting place of all places! I am feeling better about it more and more.

[Butterbean]

Newbies Nest

Kradle123;1340703 wrote: symbol at the bottom of the page so your name will be added to this list and this post (vs. a new post). The goal is to preserve the names in one post over the course of a day. Alternatively, copy/paste the entire post as is into a "Quick Reply" before adding your own name and saving.

Good morning Nesters:
OK Fin I looked at this and tried and it all came out kattywumpous ...
Since everyone's around day 8/9 and I'm on day 9 over here, I'm adding myself

Also I bought a Groupon for a 90 minute massage down in Gig Harbor - very posh, so if I make it to 30 I get o go use it!

So I will try the edit signature I think or Just say it once and then I'll know

He Destiney! You sound ready to go this sunny Monday! Are you riding? Pictures please.......
:h
Here I go to Boot Camp...

PS: And I though I was sending Matt there ! :H

Kradle!!!

What a great idea! We need to all post what we will be rewarding ourselves with when we hit 30 days and maybe even 45 days so we can keep it going. I love that. Perfect.:goodjob:

[Butterbean]

Newbies Nest

Random Thoughts

Ok here are a few random thoughts:

1) What is your reward for hitting 30 days? Or is that too much pressure to fail right afterward?

2) What to say for not drinking: "I was doing this big cleansing, detoxing thing for my health and I loaded myself up with lots of supplements, got more sleep and started exercising more. Now that I have done this, I have never felt more healthy so I think I am going to continue with it and not drink."

3) I have found that going to bed earlier helps cut off a few extra hours of cravings and I feel 10x better with the extra sleep in the morning. All this water is making my skin even better too.

[finallydone]

Newbies Nest

Hi yah nesters! I feel like I am letting everyone down by not being here everyday. Sobriety brings me all the wonderful things. I wake up happy. I go to work and work hard. I feel great about the future. I am working my you know what off to pay for school and my last year at it. And taking care of my place...bills...i wish i could be more around but i am soo driven to get my life in order i forget the place that has gotten me there. I love you K9 for being such a wonderful person. I wish I could talk to you everyday, but I have this summer to make money to get threw school. Mama bear and Kradle I am always here for you and my sobriety is beca use of this place and because of all of the nesters...I love you guys!!!

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Hi Butterbean,

Funny you should bring up rewards today… I had been putting $100 for every week I didn't drink into an account. (That may sound a lot but at prices here that's probably a conservative estimate - you could drop $100 in a night out in Sydney drinking pretty easily, especially once you factor in cabs etc.) Anyhoo… I was going to wait till I had $600 to buy myself an iPad for 30 days.

Buuuuttt…. today I happened to be sent one of those eBay Groupon deals for an iPad 3 for $450, which is a really good price and they were going fast (ok, so I got sucked in) so I bought it! Now I feel I have to keep going until I've 'paid' for that out of my money but I already had $300 put aside so it seemed much more doable. I'm going to keep going with this plan and use the money for nice things for me only. At first I thought, no, I should be paying off my credit card etc but, you know what, if I were drinking I'd have pissed (literally) that money away even if I couldn't afford it USING my credit card. So, screw it, I think treats, at least early on, are a good idea. She says justifying...

2) I'm "having a break" "on a health kick" "trying to lose weight". Not quite ready to say I've stopped for good as I don't even yet believe that myself.

My skin is TOTALLY looking better and I'm totally losing weight! As of today, 2 kilos (4.4 pounds) this month!

Finally Done - You don't let us down when you're not here, silly boy But I always love seeing your posts when you do swing by because you sound so great and so positive. Keep it up!!

L x

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Lilly: That is absolutely great about the Ipad!! and putting the $ away. I am still paying off credit cards with you know what on it

BB: Sedona (my 10 year old) had a great suggestion regarding what to say whe offered Alcohol: , "No thank you. I don't drink because I'm an athlete! " I have no idea where she got that...

FD: You sound so happy and focused. Working hard and feeeeling Good! :woot:

Not sleepy but snuggling with one of the twins in the bed...Okay, here's the dog.
Everyone almost accounted for!

Sleep well,

Hugs,
:l

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Fin - Day 9 (Chasing Week 2)
Teezah - Day 3
Honeysoup - Day 7
lifechange - Day 5
Lilly - Day 10

Hello all, especially my fellow boot campees!

I apologize for not posting more boot camp arse kicking. Between the computer chaos, deadlines and now I'm sick, it's proving a tough week. But I'm here, on day 10, and increasingly happy to be so. And I can't tell you all how much it thrills me to see everyone's Boot Camp signatures. I'm proud I gave rise to that and it makes me feel like we're all in this together and there's this underground secret network of support whenever I'm struggling

While I'm still focused on that 30 days straight, I also will be pretty thrilled if I get through the weekend, and therefore the month, still AF, as that will mean I will have only drunk one night in the month of June, which in itself will be a first. My usual pattern is to go one, two, maybe three weeks at most and then have a few nights of bingeing until I feel truly wretched again. So at least this is progress.

And even though I feel a bit stressed and sick right now, even this time is giving me clarity. I keep thinking back to drinking experiences going 'how did I think that was normal or ok?', 'how sad is that' and etc. Small shudders. Also, without boring you all with the details, a couple of health things (basically upset stomach and digestion stuff) have improved sooo much for not drinking! Like, so much so it's clear that drinking was the issue, not anything else I tried to blame it on.

LG, while I didn't think of drinking like that either necessarily - the spiritual river post that is - but I felt the point was more that you will be surprised at the things you find fun once you quit - that you can have lots of fun sober - and that drinking isn't nearly as fun as you think it is when you're in the thick of it - that whole euphoric recall thing. I still feel like I'm 'missing out' on the fun by not drinking so anything that helps me challenge that is useful to me right now.

You and Roonie have both said that you're feeling like nothing is fun when you're not drinking and you're bored. What is it that you are missing so much and what were the not fun bits of drinking that led you here, then? (Believe me, I understand as I have the same struggle - I'm just trying to help you both also try and see if you can shift your thinking on it. I need to too.)

L x[/QUOTE]

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

ooops!!!!
don't know what i did! just wanted to add my name to the list, but i took over Lillys entire post.??
sorry.

[teezah]

Newbies Nest

Boot Camp Roll Call for June 27, 2012

(*Add your name to this running list if you want a daily log by hitting the Quote button on this post).

Teezah Day 4
Your name here

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters

Love the idea of the iPad Lilly. I've recently bought myself s solar powered watch to celebrate 100 AF days. I intend to buy myself another gift at day 258 ( I drank on day 258 last time!) and then on each 1 year anniversary. I already have an iPad. - infact am typing on it just now!! Any ideas anyone on what else I could treat myself to.? Even expensive gifts are a lot cheaper than daily drinking!!

Incidentally I feel the iPad which I got as an early birthday present ( I part paid for it myself) at the end of February, just as I went sober, has actually contributed to my sobriety as its so easy and quick to get on line, I can get on MWO or on similar online motivational stuff, whenever I struggle quickly and easily.

Sausage x
Day 125 AF

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone!!!!! I am just popping on quickly to say that I am on day 10......Double digits...YAY! I gotta run but I will be back on later today!!! Happy AF Wednesday to everyone!

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Boot Camp Roll Call for June 27, 2012

(*Add your name to this running list if you want a daily log by hitting the Quote button on this post).

Teezah Day 4
Fin - Day 10
Your name here

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

lifechange;1341743 wrote: ooops!!!!
don't know what i did! just wanted to add my name to the list, but i took over Lillys entire post.??
sorry.

That's okay! It's just nice to see a summary of who is logging in daily and posting to Roll Call. Since the format seems to be confusing, just maintain the list however you can -- no big deal.

Great job folks and good to hear from FianallDone. You 'da man!

[lexilou]

Newbies Nest

hi folks. mind if i jump in here? I am on day two AF and my first goal is to make it thru this upcoming holiday weekend without a glass of wine. Then I will worry about getting to the thirty days. baby steps. very tired as i didnt sleep much last night, and the first thing on my mind this morning was that i wished i could just have one glass of wine today. but we all KNOW it would NOT be just ONE.
I cannot drink today anyway as my hubby is off work today, and he abhors me drinking. It actually caused us major marriage problems a couple of years ago. i quit for a little bit,,but then got away with sneaking a few glasses here and there. before you knew it..i was back up to at least a litre of wine a night. I honestly don't know how I have not been caught. I mean really how many times is he going to buy a two hour bath..or i have an upset tummy may be in the bathroom a while?

I have to do this right this time. I cannot drink again. I do not think I will ever be able to safely social drink either, so i am taking that off the table.

so. day two. here we go.