Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

I don't understand all the Boot Campers trying to find a reward for putting in their 30 days...are you just totally forgetting your HATS??? I mean really!!! I've ordered a fresh batch for you all, too!! I will try to do something special...maybe with a military theme?? I would encourage you change your mindset to...'WHEN, I hit my 30 days', not, 'IF'. As a Boot Camper, you are totally taking the option of drinking off the table for 30 days...you will succeed. Set your mind to this. After all, it IS all a mind set. ALL of you are doing great. Remember, when you get to Day 13, something in your head changes, and falls into place...you see that being AF IS something you can do! It CAN be a lifestyle! Something just clicks. Get yourself to magic day 13, and let us know if it's true for you! It was a game changer for me.
Butterbean.. I wish this site were a little easier to navigate...because I could direct you to post after post after POST of members who have said the SAME WORDS as you did. Maybe after 30 days I can re evaluate my drinking and then have the occasional ______. You will spend a lifetime chasing this fantasy. Or at least several years like I did. Maybe Lolab can direct you to the thread, she started one sometime back...it was like a place where people had tried to do just that...moderate after long stents of being AF. I called it the Wall of Shame, but there's a more politically correct way of saying it. I can say with a great deal of authority ( I consider myself an expert) on this subject. I have never seen one single person change his/her relationship with AL except that it got worse. Your genes know where you left off that last day you drank. It may not be the first week, or the first month...but it always creeps back up to those levels and worse. Yes, there's always the 'and worse'. I don't know why that is, either. Oh sure, you can look around this site even and find those saying they are sticking with their plan...but if you read back, or even follow them for any period of time...they are blowing it left and right. They are in denial of a serious problem they have. Sure, maybe they aren't drinking every day, but look closely and you will see that they are still struggling every single day. Should I, shouldn't I? The Guilt/Shame/Remorse (GSR Brothers) are alive and well among them. This is a losing battle and a living hell. AL will win. Every time. When you make rules about AL, and then break them....when you reset the rules, and break those...when the unacceptable becomes ok...then you might be one of us. I said it back in another thread somewhere...I think there are 2 sure signs of being an Alcoholic. One is when you try to quit and realize you can't. The other is when you decide to moderate. My question is why would your relationship be any better with AL now that you have some sober time in? Self awareness? More knowledge? The answer is simple...the day you quit drinking is as good as your relationship is ever going to be. Sad as that is, all is not lost. Your AF self is waiting to be reborn. Get those 30 days in and you will see that you've never felt better...about life in general, and your place in it!!! Alcohol=Hell. Acceptance is the hardest part of this entire journey...that's the last phase of grief. Once you can accept this for what it is, you can move forward. It's not easy...but it is sooooo worth it.
MindPeace to everyone today!! Byrdie

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

ByrdLady - awesome post. I'm one of those people thinking after 30-days I can moderate. You've got me seriously questioning that thought process...

PS: Will you do me a BIG favor? Will you break up your posts into smaller paragraphs to they're easier to read? I don't want to miss a word!

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1341827 wrote: I don't understand all the Boot Campers trying to find a reward for putting in their 30 days...are you just totally forgetting your HATS??? I mean really!!! I've ordered a fresh batch for you all, too!! I will try to do something special...maybe with a military theme?? I would encourage you change your mindset to...'WHEN, I hit my 30 days', not, 'IF'. As a Boot Camper, you are totally taking the option of drinking off the table for 30 days...you will succeed. Set your mind to this. After all, it IS all a mind set. ALL of you are doing great. Remember, when you get to Day 13, something in your head changes, and falls into place...you see that being AF IS something you can do! It CAN be a lifestyle! Something just clicks. Get yourself to magic day 13, and let us know if it's true for you! It was a game changer for me.
Butterbean.. I wish this site were a little easier to navigate...because I could direct you to post after post after POST of members who have said the SAME WORDS as you did. Maybe after 30 days I can re evaluate my drinking and then have the occasional ______. You will spend a lifetime chasing this fantasy. Or at least several years like I did. Maybe Lolab can direct you to the thread, she started one sometime back...it was like a place where people had tried to do just that...moderate after long stents of being AF. I called it the Wall of Shame, but there's a more politically correct way of saying it. I can say with a great deal of authority ( I consider myself an expert) on this subject. I have never seen one single person change his/her relationship with AL except that it got worse. Your genes know where you left off that last day you drank. It may not be the first week, or the first month...but it always creeps back up to those levels and worse. Yes, there's always the 'and worse'. I don't know why that is, either. Oh sure, you can look around this site even and find those saying they are sticking with their plan...but if you read back, or even follow them for any period of time...they are blowing it left and right. They are in denial of a serious problem they have. Sure, maybe they aren't drinking every day, but look closely and you will see that they are still struggling every single day. Should I, shouldn't I? The Guilt/Shame/Remorse (GSR Brothers) are alive and well among them. This is a losing battle and a living hell. AL will win. Every time. When you make rules about AL, and then break them....when you reset the rules, and break those...when the unacceptable becomes ok...then you might be one of us. I said it back in another thread somewhere...I think there are 2 sure signs of being an Alcoholic. One is when you try to quit and realize you can't. The other is when you decide to moderate. My question is why would your relationship be any better with AL now that you have some sober time in? Self awareness? More knowledge? The answer is simple...the day you quit drinking is as good as your relationship is ever going to be. Sad as that is, all is not lost. Your AF self is waiting to be reborn. Get those 30 days in and you will see that you've never felt better...about life in general, and your place in it!!! Alcohol=Hell. Acceptance is the hardest part of this entire journey...that's the last phase of grief. Once you can accept this for what it is, you can move forward. It's not easy...but it is sooooo worth it.
MindPeace to everyone today!! Byrdie

Byrd I swear I'm just goings to copy paste all your posts into my WINTER (words I need to especially remember) binder and call it The Bryd book :thanks:

And I said I'd wear the hat while I'm getting my Massage !

:l

[Tipplerette]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1341827 wrote: I don't understand all the Boot Campers trying to find a reward for putting in their 30 days...are you just totally forgetting your HATS??? I mean really!!! I've ordered a fresh batch for you all, too!! I will try to do something special...maybe with a military theme?? I would encourage you change your mindset to...'WHEN, I hit my 30 days', not, 'IF'. As a Boot Camper, you are totally taking the option of drinking off the table for 30 days...you will succeed. Set your mind to this. After all, it IS all a mind set. ALL of you are doing great. Remember, when you get to Day 13, something in your head changes, and falls into place...you see that being AF IS something you can do! It CAN be a lifestyle! Something just clicks. Get yourself to magic day 13, and let us know if it's true for you! It was a game changer for me.
Butterbean.. I wish this site were a little easier to navigate...because I could direct you to post after post after POST of members who have said the SAME WORDS as you did. Maybe after 30 days I can re evaluate my drinking and then have the occasional ______. You will spend a lifetime chasing this fantasy. Or at least several years like I did. Maybe Lolab can direct you to the thread, she started one sometime back...it was like a place where people had tried to do just that...moderate after long stents of being AF. I called it the Wall of Shame, but there's a more politically correct way of saying it. I can say with a great deal of authority ( I consider myself an expert) on this subject. I have never seen one single person change his/her relationship with AL except that it got worse. Your genes know where you left off that last day you drank. It may not be the first week, or the first month...but it always creeps back up to those levels and worse. Yes, there's always the 'and worse'. I don't know why that is, either. Oh sure, you can look around this site even and find those saying they are sticking with their plan...but if you read back, or even follow them for any period of time...they are blowing it left and right. They are in denial of a serious problem they have. Sure, maybe they aren't drinking every day, but look closely and you will see that they are still struggling every single day. Should I, shouldn't I? The Guilt/Shame/Remorse (GSR Brothers) are alive and well among them. This is a losing battle and a living hell. AL will win. Every time. When you make rules about AL, and then break them....when you reset the rules, and break those...when the unacceptable becomes ok...then you might be one of us. I said it back in another thread somewhere...I think there are 2 sure signs of being an Alcoholic. One is when you try to quit and realize you can't. The other is when you decide to moderate. My question is why would your relationship be any better with AL now that you have some sober time in? Self awareness? More knowledge? The answer is simple...the day you quit drinking is as good as your relationship is ever going to be. Sad as that is, all is not lost. Your AF self is waiting to be reborn. Get those 30 days in and you will see that you've never felt better...about life in general, and your place in it!!! Alcohol=Hell. Acceptance is the hardest part of this entire journey...that's the last phase of grief. Once you can accept this for what it is, you can move forward. It's not easy...but it is sooooo worth it.
MindPeace to everyone today!! Byrdie

That was the best post I've ever read and I am printing it and pinning it somewhere (possibly my forehead) where I see it all the time. Thanks Byrd Lady.

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Fin;1341812 wrote: Boot Camp Roll Call for June 27, 2012

(*Add your name to this running list if you want a daily log by hitting the Quote button on this post).

Teezah Day 4
Fin - Day 10
Your name here

Kradle123 day 12

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Kradle123;1341835 wrote: Kradle123 day 12

I give up...posting my af days not AF days
It just won't come out 'write'

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Here's the thread that Byrdie was referring to. There are some excellent posts on here....about drinking after a period of abstinence. https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...ate-53575.html

[Tipplerette]

Newbies Nest

lifechange;1341742 wrote: Fin - Day 9 (Chasing Week 2)
Teezah - Day 3
Honeysoup - Day 7
lifechange - Day 5
Lilly - Day 10
Tipplerette - Day 8
L x

Just joined the boot camp. Yay.

What helps me is that I allow myself anything I want besides booze. Usually I limit my sweets, caffeine, greasy food, etc. because i don't want to get fat but with the 500 calorie a day deficit, I eat cake, cookies, candy, poutine, drink NA beer. I don't go crazy but put absolutely no pressure on myself to behave besides the no alcohol rule. After 30 days (can't wait for day 13) I will then begin to go back to my old way of eating. That is what seems to work for me.

What I told the friends at the lake house when they inquired why I stopped drinking, my response was that with the big, dangerous lake and the drunks and babies that visit, someone has to be vigilant and I decided to forego drinking and, instead, prevent a catastrophic event from ruining our lives. This is partly true, although when it comes right down to it, I am doing this for ME and MY health, both mental and physical.

I will not moderate, ever. I just know in my heart that I would only be fooling myself if I tried and I LOVE being sober although people can be pretty rude, gross and smelly when they are drunk and being sober opens my senses to that reality. Yuck. My poor hubby is eventually going to get the TALK... he is plastered the whole weekend every weekend. I know it's new for him to have this awesome place but he is really over-doing it. Just don't want to appear holier than thou. Suggestions on this front???

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

K9Lover;1341530 wrote: Hi LG!
Yes, still with the City. You'll be suprised the job I'm going for....Corrections Officer/Jailer. I'm ready to get up out of this cube and start frisking some people! LOL

Okay K9' I have to ask....

Are you applying to go work in the K9 Unit?

I think that would be absolute magic if you did!!
:l

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

finallydone;1341610 wrote: I love you K9 for being such a wonderful person. I wish I could talk to you everyday, but I have this summer to make money to get threw school. Mama bear and Kradle I am always here for you and my sobriety is beca use of this place and because of all of the nesters...I love you guys!!!

Hi FD!

I'm glad you checked in...I was wondering where you disappeared to! I'm glad you're working hard and getting everything done that you need to do. I'm so glad you're still sober too...way to go! You know where to find me if you wanna chat

Hi everyone else...just checking in. Alas it is only Wednesday and not Friday. I am hoping that if I get the new job I'm trying for, I'll quit staring at the clock all day. LOL Yes LG, I promise to show compassion to the drunk girls coming in...lord knows I've been there, done that! I'll try to make their little stay at the jail as comfy as possible. hehe

Not much new to report...missing my kid. She's at a MAGIC camp (Mentoring A Girl In Construction). Apparently she wants to be a construction worker, and I will be a Corrections Officer...that's how the girls in my family do it! LOL

Everyone have a great day.

K9

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Kradle123;1341854 wrote: Okay K9' I have to ask....

Are you applying to go work in the K9 Unit?

I think that would be absolute magic if you did!!
:l

I SOOOO wish!!! But unfortunately no. A Corrections Officer/Jailer is not technically "sworn in" as an Officer. I'd have to go to the Police Academy to work with the K9's, and me thinks I'm too old for that (although I DO like donuts). LOL

The local K9 does live down the street from me though...a beautiful German Shepherd named "Bolt".

[gracie02]

Newbies Nest

Has anyone had any experience with the herbal Sobrexa?

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

“You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

tipplerette, this is how things played out with my hubby. I had random conversations with him - our son will soon be the age where he will have to make decisions about drinking. I told hubby that I was concerned about this and wanted to set a better example (in your case...your safety reasons for wanting to quit). So he didn't wonder why when I was reading Jason Vale's book. (I read it after I had quit)

More casual conversations ensued and I told him how the book talks about how society is kind of brainwashed into thinking that drinking is "normal"...and that this would be a good time to get the point across to our son that it doesn't HAVE to be that way. you don't have to start drinking when you're legal...or before.

I never really said anything to him about the vodka he kept in the freezer - or that I thought that 'he' was setting a bad example. After a bit, I offered the book to him to read - which he did...and he quit. Just like that. We've had conversations since about the brainwashing of society and such - but I never criticized what he was doing - I figured he had to come to that realization on his own...and he did.

He may just need to see that you are happier without it - before he actually believes that he could be too...and also to see that you actually follow through and that it's not just another attempt at sobriety that he has to just wait for you to get past and start drinking again. :-)

[finallydone]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1341827 wrote: I don't understand all the Boot Campers trying to find a reward for putting in their 30 days...are you just totally forgetting your HATS??? I mean really!!! I've ordered a fresh batch for you all, too!! I will try to do something special...maybe with a military theme?? I would encourage you change your mindset to...'WHEN, I hit my 30 days', not, 'IF'. As a Boot Camper, you are totally taking the option of drinking off the table for 30 days...you will succeed. Set your mind to this. After all, it IS all a mind set. ALL of you are doing great. Remember, when you get to Day 13, something in your head changes, and falls into place...you see that being AF IS something you can do! It CAN be a lifestyle! Something just clicks. Get yourself to magic day 13, and let us know if it's true for you! It was a game changer for me.
Butterbean.. I wish this site were a little easier to navigate...because I could direct you to post after post after POST of members who have said the SAME WORDS as you did. Maybe after 30 days I can re evaluate my drinking and then have the occasional ______. You will spend a lifetime chasing this fantasy. Or at least several years like I did. Maybe Lolab can direct you to the thread, she started one sometime back...it was like a place where people had tried to do just that...moderate after long stents of being AF. I called it the Wall of Shame, but there's a more politically correct way of saying it. I can say with a great deal of authority ( I consider myself an expert) on this subject. I have never seen one single person change his/her relationship with AL except that it got worse. Your genes know where you left off that last day you drank. It may not be the first week, or the first month...but it always creeps back up to those levels and worse. Yes, there's always the 'and worse'. I don't know why that is, either. Oh sure, you can look around this site even and find those saying they are sticking with their plan...but if you read back, or even follow them for any period of time...they are blowing it left and right. They are in denial of a serious problem they have. Sure, maybe they aren't drinking every day, but look closely and you will see that they are still struggling every single day. Should I, shouldn't I? The Guilt/Shame/Remorse (GSR Brothers) are alive and well among them. This is a losing battle and a living hell. AL will win. Every time. When you make rules about AL, and then break them....when you reset the rules, and break those...when the unacceptable becomes ok...then you might be one of us. I said it back in another thread somewhere...I think there are 2 sure signs of being an Alcoholic. One is when you try to quit and realize you can't. The other is when you decide to moderate. My question is why would your relationship be any better with AL now that you have some sober time in? Self awareness? More knowledge? The answer is simple...the day you quit drinking is as good as your relationship is ever going to be. Sad as that is, all is not lost. Your AF self is waiting to be reborn. Get those 30 days in and you will see that you've never felt better...about life in general, and your place in it!!! Alcohol=Hell. Acceptance is the hardest part of this entire journey...that's the last phase of grief. Once you can accept this for what it is, you can move forward. It's not easy...but it is sooooo worth it.
MindPeace to everyone today!! Byrdie

The post that is most truth of all! I chased the dream. That dream died in me. Chasing the moderation myth for a alcoholic is asking for a person to cut off there arm and sit there and smile about it.