Newbies Nest

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Teezah Day 4
Fin - Day 10
Kradle, Day 12
Tipplerette - Day 8
Lilly, Day 11

Hi all!

Sausage, I'm glad you said that re the iPad as I'd actually thought that but I'm justifying the impulse buy… I sit in front of the computer all day, so at night want to turn it off, but do find myself looking at MWO on my phone but being unable to post and it's too small to read properly. So I think it will indeed make it easier for me to jump on and get inspiration or support more easily.

Dest - WELL DONE on double digits! You're a third of the way there It's a good feeling to hit those double digits isn't it? And I reckon around 10 days to 2 weeks is when some of the benefits start to kick in too. The booze is OUT of your body and the recovery begins in earnest. Keep it going my friend.

Lexilou, hi and welcome! I read your other thread too and I'm really glad you've found your way here. You will find lots of great help and support here so dive in and start posting and reading as much as you can. We can all help see you through this one day at a time. And do check out the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html if you haven't already. The first week is the hardest, especially for those who are drinking heavily, so knuckle down and gather your resources to see you through it. you'll feel better every day. I have to say I agreed with others that your husband probably *does* know, or at least strongly suspect. We're not as clever as we think in our addiction and denial. Have you considered having an honest heart to heart with him? Could that help you get sober? Would he support you? Is that an option do you think?

Byrdie, you make me laugh. I'm totally looking forward to that hat more than my new iPad arriving … Ok, well I am looking forward to that hat very much and I promise you that I will do a little happy dance when it arrives and for all of you fellow boot campees as you get yours

Also, thanks for the arse kicking there. That was indeed a great post. You are right, WILL not IF. I am REALLY determined to do it this time. As I said, I'm already pretty stoked that I'm only had one day of drinking this month. I'm excited to see what 30 days feels like (or 47 days minus 1)

Also I think I found that thread you were referencing that Lolab started. I did an advanced search for all threads started by LL. Off to have a read myself!
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...ate-53575.html

Oh and I just saw LL beat me to it But it probably bares repeating…

Monique you've been quiet lately - doing ok?

Lav, you've also been missed though I know you're ok and hopefully just taking a break from the Nest (and sorry if you did post recently, either of you, and i missed it. There's been a lot to keep up with!

[Butterbean]

Newbies Nest

SAUSAGE;1341808 wrote: Hi Nesters

Love the idea of the iPad Lilly. I've recently bought myself s solar powered watch to celebrate 100 AF days. I intend to buy myself another gift at day 258 ( I drank on day 258 last time!) and then on each 1 year anniversary. I already have an iPad. - infact am typing on it just now!! Any ideas anyone on what else I could treat myself to.? Even expensive gifts are a lot cheaper than daily drinking!!

Incidentally I feel the iPad which I got as an early birthday present ( I part paid for it myself) at the end of February, just as I went sober, has actually contributed to my sobriety as its so easy and quick to get on line, I can get on MWO or on similar online motivational stuff, whenever I struggle quickly and easily.

Sausage x
Day 125 AF

Sausage,
How about a facial or massage. That is the ultimate treat!

[Butterbean]

Newbies Nest

lexilou;1341822 wrote: hi folks. mind if i jump in here? I am on day two AF and my first goal is to make it thru this upcoming holiday weekend without a glass of wine. Then I will worry about getting to the thirty days. baby steps. very tired as i didnt sleep much last night, and the first thing on my mind this morning was that i wished i could just have one glass of wine today. but we all KNOW it would NOT be just ONE.
I cannot drink today anyway as my hubby is off work today, and he abhors me drinking. It actually caused us major marriage problems a couple of years ago. i quit for a little bit,,but then got away with sneaking a few glasses here and there. before you knew it..i was back up to at least a litre of wine a night. I honestly don't know how I have not been caught. I mean really how many times is he going to buy a two hour bath..or i have an upset tummy may be in the bathroom a while?

I have to do this right this time. I cannot drink again. I do not think I will ever be able to safely social drink either, so i am taking that off the table.

so. day two. here we go.

Lexilu,
You are stronger than you think. Keep it up. I think we are all nervous about the 4th of July. I am.

[Butterbean]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1341827 wrote: I don't understand all the Boot Campers trying to find a reward for putting in their 30 days...are you just totally forgetting your HATS??? I mean really!!! I've ordered a fresh batch for you all, too!! I will try to do something special...maybe with a military theme?? I would encourage you change your mindset to...'WHEN, I hit my 30 days', not, 'IF'. As a Boot Camper, you are totally taking the option of drinking off the table for 30 days...you will succeed. Set your mind to this. After all, it IS all a mind set. ALL of you are doing great. Remember, when you get to Day 13, something in your head changes, and falls into place...you see that being AF IS something you can do! It CAN be a lifestyle! Something just clicks. Get yourself to magic day 13, and let us know if it's true for you! It was a game changer for me.
Butterbean.. I wish this site were a little easier to navigate...because I could direct you to post after post after POST of members who have said the SAME WORDS as you did. Maybe after 30 days I can re evaluate my drinking and then have the occasional ______. You will spend a lifetime chasing this fantasy. Or at least several years like I did. Maybe Lolab can direct you to the thread, she started one sometime back...it was like a place where people had tried to do just that...moderate after long stents of being AF. I called it the Wall of Shame, but there's a more politically correct way of saying it. I can say with a great deal of authority ( I consider myself an expert) on this subject. I have never seen one single person change his/her relationship with AL except that it got worse. Your genes know where you left off that last day you drank. It may not be the first week, or the first month...but it always creeps back up to those levels and worse. Yes, there's always the 'and worse'. I don't know why that is, either. Oh sure, you can look around this site even and find those saying they are sticking with their plan...but if you read back, or even follow them for any period of time...they are blowing it left and right. They are in denial of a serious problem they have. Sure, maybe they aren't drinking every day, but look closely and you will see that they are still struggling every single day. Should I, shouldn't I? The Guilt/Shame/Remorse (GSR Brothers) are alive and well among them. This is a losing battle and a living hell. AL will win. Every time. When you make rules about AL, and then break them....when you reset the rules, and break those...when the unacceptable becomes ok...then you might be one of us. I said it back in another thread somewhere...I think there are 2 sure signs of being an Alcoholic. One is when you try to quit and realize you can't. The other is when you decide to moderate. My question is why would your relationship be any better with AL now that you have some sober time in? Self awareness? More knowledge? The answer is simple...the day you quit drinking is as good as your relationship is ever going to be. Sad as that is, all is not lost. Your AF self is waiting to be reborn. Get those 30 days in and you will see that you've never felt better...about life in general, and your place in it!!! Alcohol=Hell. Acceptance is the hardest part of this entire journey...that's the last phase of grief. Once you can accept this for what it is, you can move forward. It's not easy...but it is sooooo worth it.
MindPeace to everyone today!! Byrdie

Brydie,
OUCH! Truth hurts. I hope I wasn't sounding like I was going to quit at 30 days. I wanted to reward at 45 too. In fact, each day should be a reward! I will keep this post and reread it several times. Thanks for taking the time to write all this. Your words are filled with experience and great advice.laster:

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

So out of that First Thread came two other threads I think are also worth posting. There's some good stuff in here about friendships being affected by going AF too for those who've been dealing with that?

Now What
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f7...ml#post1210669

Why I don't have 2 years
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...day-43098.html

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Oh, and Sausage, re treats... I was thinking massage or facial too or do you want something more long lasting? A special piece of jewelry perhaps?

[Gdog]

Newbies Nest

Hey campers. Back at it. The last week or so has been off and on for me with Alcohol. So the encouraging part is I know that no part of me is just throwing in the towel. The discouraging part is I feel like I am doing the back and forth dance every few days. Drink, AF, Drink, AF. I actually had a few days of moderation in there. Regardless of all that there is a crushing side to my journey these days as one of my sons is clearly struggling with drugs and alcohol. He is extremely bright and has a quick tongue. He is quite happy to throw me under the bus in front of the family or my wife about my drinking. There is a humiliation and brokeness that is present in my life. It does not feel totally fair, and in honesty some of his accusations are over the top so he can leverage anything for his own gain. Yet the truth remains that he has just cause to accuse no matter what the motive. I am working on very total honesty these days, so my confession is that I can not yet see myself never drinking again. I would dearly love to actually make it 30 days again, but after one or two days I end up bailing each time. This makes it hard for me to post as it feels like I am a fraud.
I am working very hard on exercise, nutrition, and prayer. Not as a new addiction, but as a way of living. Thanks for bearing with my thoughts and failures.
Day one (again).

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Butterbean! I am so sorry that I directed that moderating epic towards you. I thought I'd read that you were thinking of trying AL again after the 30 days and I was just trying to show you the hard path that the rest have tried to follow. Now that I am going back and trying to find your post, I don't see it! So I am sorry I directed that at you! This addiction is a bitch, I wish I could save one person from falling for the lies and deceipt that we are told by AL.

There ain't nuthin wrong with rewards...it's the way we operate. After all, that's why we give out hats!

I feel awful, BB.....that band aid broke my heart. Just stay strong and keep doing what you are doing. :yougo:

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Hi Gdog - your sincerity is appreciated...that brokenness and humiliation partly stem just from the depressive side of alcohol being in your body. It's amazing how much brighter things are when you get away from it for some serious time.

Your confession about not drinking ever again is easy to understand. I have 9 months in and only recently have I begun to think that I might be able to do just that - stay AF forever. I still have a long way to go before I am sure, I think - but I am getting closer every day.

I don't know how old your son is...I have a teenager and a major motivating factor for me was him...and wondering what the hell I was doing to him and his values and how "I" was influencing the decisions he would make regarding drugs and alcohol.

You CAN go from being the target of his accusations to being proud that you are the one setting the example for him...you really can.

I believe that children - no matter what age - want to look up to their parents. Can you imagine someday - sooner than you can imagine - your son being proud of you - because he will understand the challenge that you faced in overcoming your addiction. And he'll know that it's possible. He'll see that you are a better person without it - and that will be the new example you're setting....:l

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Aww, Byrdie I think everyone knows you have a good heart and are only out to help others. BB understands.:l

Good morning Nesties! I have been posting in other forums and have left the nest for a bit. It seems like the Boot Campers are doing well! I wanted to give everyone a wide berth so they could have some solidarity.

Just trying to make it through the morning here without getting sleepy, and hopefully time passing quickly...looking forward to the weekend. I have Fri's off during summer. No plans yet, but I might try and get some things lined up.

Hope everyone is doing well!

LG

[Tipplerette]

Newbies Nest

lolab;1341932 wrote: tipplerette, this is how things played out with my hubby. I had random conversations with him - our son will soon be the age where he will have to make decisions about drinking. I told hubby that I was concerned about this and wanted to set a better example (in your case...your safety reasons for wanting to quit). So he didn't wonder why when I was reading Jason Vale's book. (I read it after I had quit)

More casual conversations ensued and I told him how the book talks about how society is kind of brainwashed into thinking that drinking is "normal"...and that this would be a good time to get the point across to our son that it doesn't HAVE to be that way. you don't have to start drinking when you're legal...or before.

I never really said anything to him about the vodka he kept in the freezer - or that I thought that 'he' was setting a bad example. After a bit, I offered the book to him to read - which he did...and he quit. Just like that. We've had conversations since about the brainwashing of society and such - but I never criticized what he was doing - I figured he had to come to that realization on his own...and he did.

He may just need to see that you are happier without it - before he actually believes that he could be too...and also to see that you actually follow through and that it's not just another attempt at sobriety that he has to just wait for you to get past and start drinking again. :-)

I like your style. You are like me, non-confrontational. My hubby is a good man and our drinking escalated at the same time coincidently starting with the day we started seeing each other ten years ago. We are now married for less than a year. He doesn't have the daily need for booze that I had but on the weekends because of our new situation with purchasing the party palace (lake house) he is getting blitzed Friday and Saturday starting in the afternoons. I never really noticed before cos I, too was blitzed.

I truly believe that by setting a good example and offering advice WHEN ASKED, he can be convinced by his own experience that drinking is not neccesary at all times. All this will take time though as I have not drank for days at a time before only to relapse again and again.

Thanks for your thoughtful, intelligent insight.

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

Well here I am again, I am getting tired of the agains, but I am determined. I am setting Sunday as my first day AF. I was told to pick a day, I did pick a day last week, but had company and blew it. I expect no one for a while, not doing much for the long weekend. Actually not doing anything but curling up with a good book or watching a moving. This is such a difficult demon to break from. I cannot go to a DR for I just moved and have no vehicle to get to my old DR. So I am on my own, I wish there was some over the counter drug or herbal remedy to kill the cravings, and no sweets do not do it for me. Does anyone know of anything that can help me through this transition from drinking to non-drinking

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

Destiniey, where are you, I was hopeing we can journey together. I was gone for 1 day and I miss seeing your postings and updates

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Yes, tipplerette, I think it's important for you to stick with it long enough for you both to realize that this isn't just another little "break" from alcohol. There's no way you can get used to life without it unless you experience it for a long time....and I don't mean getting used to it in a bad way - LOL! I mean getting to know the real you. And until you are comfortable in your own AF skin, you can't expect him to want to jump in and join you. :-) I will say that after a few months and conversations about not drinking...mine came to bed smelling of alcohol...and i did call him on that and asked what was up. But in the beginning? I never would have done that...I was focusing on myself.

Litre2 - have you looked into the MWO plan? L-glutamine is a pretty big part of the supplement plan that helps to curb cravings. There are different forms of it...and someone even found a sublingual tab I think? that helped almost immediately. I will look for some links.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f6...ble-57651.html