Newbies Nest

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Hey everyone, just checking in. I haven't posted much lately. I'm doing well, not great, but really well. I have had many AF days, but I've also drank some days. I remember someone posting something saying that some of us just weren't entirely committed and just needed to get the cravings satisfied instead of coming here every day to report the roller coaster ride. I guess that spoke volumes to me, and I decided to back off until I could stop reporting failures over and over again.

Anyway, I guess that person was right. If I were firmly committed, I would have joined the boot camp. But I know I have July 4th holiday coming up at the beach, and I will probably drink some beers. I'm just going to admit it. No point in lying to myself or to you kind people. I am not proud of it, but for some reason, I am having a hard time committing to this goal. Don't worry, I KNOW the evils of alcohol. I struggle with them every day.

What I'm trying to say is that I'm weak - very weak. And I'm very lonely.

But I will tell you one thing that I hope some folks who are struggling can take away. I've been replacing drinking with exercising quite a bit lately, and it feels GREAT. I try to work out in the early mornings, which means that I MUST go to bed sober the night before, or it won't happen. On especially tempting days, I try to work out in the evenings, the time I would normally be whooping it up at the bar. I may not be committed to quitting alcohol yet, but I am committed to losing 40 pounds, and I know that I have greatly limited my alcohol intake because of that.

Losing 40 pounds doesn't sound easy, but it sure as heck sounds a lot easier than quitting alcohol the rest of my life.

Well, if making a commitment to losing weight indirectly helps me with my alcohol problem, then I'm all for it.

I know I have rambled like crazy in this post, but I'm just not sure how committed I am to quitting drinking, and I don't want to bring any of you down. I may join the moderators group for now, just so I won't be out of place. I see some very serious commitments here, and I think that is wonderful. You are a strong bunch of people.

[Audrey14]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters!!!!

Lilly - thanks for welcome words!!! And cogratulations on your 12 days!!!! 2 more and you have 2 sober weeks!!!!

Today i had medical check - up due my visa requirements, everything is ok, exept i was upset about my weight:upset:, in 6 years i gained 8 kg!!!! i remember my perfect weight at my 40th birthday).Ok, and in 9 months in Australia i think i gained 3-4 kg..if i think i'm not suprised - more relaxed life style, less movements, no work, huge calories of wine, nice climat (cold burns calories) etc. I know answer: workout, yoga every day, no wine, i hate diets so just more control of food..i' m actually quite good with nutrition - no junk food, no fat food, no carbonated drinks, no sausages or processed food etc. But i have to admit my age and be happy and just go forward without panic.
i already after 9 AF days (yahoo!!!!) feel more light, my waist becomes thiner, cheeks are as they always were (a little bit inside, not bloated).

I know i'm a freek about this staff but all "assets" are fine if they help not to drink

Soon going to watch movie and than sleep with calm toughts about beatiful Day 10.
Yes, my husband thinks that he's better than me with AL (maybe, because he' s working, having the same enviroment and he' s a man, women is more vulnerable with AL) but honestly he' s not better he' s just different. I'm binge drinker, he drinks every night despite my requests to support me or have quality time with me..NO, he can' t..sad..he drinks beer and i hate beer smell, wine smell i can tolarete, so we have AGREEMENT -you drink, YOU SLEEP IN A GUESTROOM WITH ALLOWANCE TO COME TO BEDROOM AT 6 A.M. AND NO SEX:H. So, our intimate life is 0, nil, nothing. His choise and i can be very stubborn and harsh:H

Sorry about my quite open info.

Wishing everybody good night/morning!

[MWOLady]

Newbies Nest

Happy to be here this morning all in one piece even though my mind is very unsettled. I really get so much from reading all the comments from others - some are up, some are down, but lots of ideas, support, and friendships here. I feel a little out of place because every day seems to be a new day one for me - and I am having trouble committing... but that's the way it goes sometimes.

I'm not new here but many of you may not know that I have had 10 years sober in the past - broke it with one glass of champagne New Year's Eve 2000 - remember all the fuss about that particular New Years? I had a new man in my life (present DH) and he was/is a big drinker.

What I can see now is that ALL my friends at that time did not drink - I had very sensibly surrounded myself with non drinkers and I was very safe. Along came this great guy, we got along so well, fell in love and started living together - got married, and I started drinking again - just to get in on the fun. I thought I could control it. And I have had ups and downs. Mainly controlled drinking, some drunken nights but in the crowd we are in now it's not unusual for one or two to "over-indulge" once in awhile and it's joked about later. It's all very civilized, nobody is falling down or being unpleasant but just drinking seems to be what our social life is all about.

But I hate the whole thing and want to quit and become that sober person I was during all those years. Problem is I can't escape this life - DH drinks every night, neighbours drink often and parties are always all about wine, BBQ etc.

But it has to happen even if I'm the only one. So I guess I'll have to start again today. Topamax side effects are awful but I have started taking it again and will just suffer through at least for a few months - it won't kill me and may just help enough to get me through. And the Kudzu too.

So Day One.

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

MWOLady;1342911 wrote: I feel a little out of place because every day seems to be a new day one for me - and I am having trouble committing... but that's the way it goes sometimes.

I'm not new here but many of you may not know that I have had 10 years sober in the past - broke it with one glass of champagne New Year's Eve 2000 - remember all the fuss about that particular New Years?

So Day One.

Hi Lady,

As so often happens here, we have very similar stories. I had 14 years sober at one point, had two drinks to celebrate something ridiculous, and then started drinking again for real (with my 2nd husband on our 2nd wedding anniversary) a year later. That was about 7 years ago. The past two have been on and off, more on than off, in a textbook progression of alcoholism.

I don't know anyone on this site who hasn't questioned their commitment and who hasn't had multiple Day 1s. It is the nature of the beast until you reach whatever that personal epiphany is that finally changes your course. I first joined this site in 2009, but then disappeared into my drinking merry-go-round until this past May. I'm so impressed by the many people on this site who publicly admit their defeats and their triumphs and are truly here not only to get support but to give it as well.

I have 53 days sober as of today. Two months ago I wouldn't have thought it possible. I finally wanted relief from the depression and remorse and physical ailments more than I wanted that wine. Someone else on this site recommended this article and it's a perspective that rings very true to me.

Spiritual River

June 29 is a very special day for me. It's my son's birthday and today he's 18. I'm on a road trip, having a beautiful time with my BF, and will go to a party for his graduation/bday tomorrow night at his dad and stepmom's in Salt Lake City, and I'll be sober - how cool is that? The fact that his stepmom went out of her way to invite me is a blessing.

So I sincerely wish you the best and hope that June 29 becomes a very special day for you as well. Good luck!

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Hi Monique. Nice to hear that you're on a road trip and enjoying your weekend. It sounds very nice.

Lily posted that excerpt from Spirtual River a little while back. I guess I see it coming from a young guy's perspective, and it doesn't really seem to apply to me. I haven't seen life as only being fun if you're wasted in a long time, and I certainly don't think I'm "cool" as a drunk/wasted person. If this is the the way a person thinks, then the other side of that extreme thinking is obviously a better way. Sober. However, I believe having a few glasses of wine or a few beers enhances my "fun" sometimes. Not every time. I do believe a responsible adult who actually can drink responsibly is something that I admire, even more than those who are tee totallers.

For some, getting and staying sober is a life saving decision. There are no gray areas. However, just like fundamentalist Christianity, not everyone has to go to the extremes in either direction. I truly believe this.

LG

P.S. Happy Birthday to your son, Monique!

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Hi LG

Tried to pm you last night night but your box is full.
If you delete some messages I can send it.

Hope your morning is going good
I need more coffee !
:l

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Boot Camp Roll Call for June 29, 2012
(hope I did this ok?)


Kradle123 Day 15 a little better

[Zenlife12]

Newbies Nest

I want to join the boot camp. I'm on my second day.
GOAL 1: 7 DAYS
GOAL 2: 14 DAYS
GOAL 3: 21 DAYS
GOAL 4: 30 DAYS

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Kradle123;1342955 wrote: Hi LG

Tried to pm you last night night but your box is full.
If you delete some messages I can send it.

Hope your morning is going good
I need more coffee !
:l

Hey Kradle. I noticed it was full this morning. I deleted all of the old posts, so you're free to PM me.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hey Zen!!! Welcome to the nest!!! I'm so glad you came over! Lily and Fin will be along to tally up the totals for roll call! We are so glad you are joining us. Congrats on Day 2...the first 3 days are a bitch!! B

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Boot Camp Roll Call for June 29, 2012
(hope I did this ok?) Yes!


Kradle123 Day 15 a little better
Paul - Day 12 (yahoooooo...one more to 13)

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Hi Litre...please don't think that I left you high and dry in here....the fact is that I have been dealing with some crap and I fell off the wagon...ouch! It's stupid silly shit but nonetheless it made me hit the bottle again. My husband and daughter are pissed at me.....I was a total mess last night....the thought of it makes me cringe! It's 105 degrees here and my poor horses are sweating like crazy so I am heading out to hose them down....then I will turn the hose on me! LOL

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Hey Rooni....dont feel lonely....perhaps we can do coffee.....maybe we can start a sober network here in NC...just a thought?

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Kradle......I am sooooooooooooo proud of you.......keep up the good work!!!!!!!!!

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Destiny! :h

There you are. I was going to PM you today. You must be psychic.

I'm so so sorry you are struggling. I'm right there with you. Moving away from our AL lives is just...awful sometimes and it doesn't help AT ALL when our loved ones come down on us. I don't know your situation very well, but I hope your Husband and daughter can see that you are trying and how hard this is for you.

Sedona just came in to the Great Room saying she is 'bored' right after getting out of the pool, then the hot tub and running around with their friends.

I'm sending her to you so she can help you hose down your horses! Then lets see how bored she is
pm if need too.

Hugs,
:l