Newbies Nest

[Mick]

Newbies Nest

Hi

Good morning all...happy af Sunday to you all.. couldnt sleep so got up and went for a walk ..and now here I am ready for another af day..First weekend coming up for a few of us..keep it up

Mick

[Yogamom]

Newbies Nest

Hi All. I am coming back ... Day 1 again. Ughh. I had been doing so well. I fell out of the nest, i need to get some of that velcro. Reading back through posts to catch up. I really need to do this.

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

Thankyou Byrdie and Lilly, my son is coping well. The weird thing is just had dinner with his friend Friday and told him my story. Dave was understanding and sympathetic, then his Mom took her life Monday. I do not know how Dave and his family is. My children are all doing well, the understand, love and most of all forgive me.

So today is the beginning of day 8. Does anyone else notice how things taste different. I expecially notice my morning coffee. There were times, I did not have coffee, for I am right handed and had a glass of wine in it. Sad I know.

For all the rest of the nesters, keep going, you all are an inspiration for us. Your kind words and support really keep us going, especially me. Thankyou.

I finally got my e-bike yesterday, the last time I took it out I wiped out and really hurt myself. Was asked if I was drinking and I said of course not it was early in the morning. The truth be know yes I was. Still I am afraid to take it out, but if I can conquer AL I can certainly overcome my fear. The best time is when there is very little traffic. Wish me luck. If you do not hear from me send out the hounds:nutso::happy:

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

Forgot to mention, I moved back to London On, last month. That is why I have not had my bike. Had to wait for someone to bring it in. There was not room when I moved.
So nesters enjoy your Sunday, looks like a nice day, not the scorchers we have been having.

[pixie]

Newbies Nest

Morning all.

Couldn't sleep so got up early today even though I stayed up til midnight finishing the book I was reading. Perhaps that last iced coffee at 7pm was a little too late for me. :duh:

Litre, so sorry to hear about the Mom of your son's friend, and that it brings up difficult feelings for you. Your family is glad you're still here and that is a good thing to focus on.
What is an e-bike? Electric?

Welcome Brown! My husband drinks as well, to excess quite a bit. He has cut down a lot since I went AF, but it doesn't make it easy to watch him or have it in the house. I am hoping my example may inspire him to make a change.

Welcome back yogamom, or rather nice to meet you, as I am new since you were here I think.

Have a good day everyone.

[porqoui]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Back Yogamoma
Day 10 AF for me but my Day 1 is always front and center in my mind. Never want to repeat that day again. Perhaps you could share what happened so the rest of us fledglings don't fall out. Hang in there. Here's a :l I know I needed lots of those when I came back.

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Hi all, it's been quite a while since I posted, but I'm back. I am on Day 2 now. Lots to tell you...

First, last week was a complete nightmare, and of course I dealt with it by drinking a lot. I have two dogs, and they got into a bad fight last Monday afternoon. The older dog ended up at the vet with a ripped ear, and now she is home recovering. The other dog (a Pit mix puppy who I adopted from the pound about five months ago) is staying at a kennel until I can figure out this situation. This is the third big fight...and definitely the last. I can't deny this huge problem anymore.

So, I have contacted numerous rescues and organizations about rehoming the puppy. I get the same response every time - "sorry about your situation, we would love to help, but we have no room, good luck..."

If I take her back to the pound, they will put her down. Even my vet suggested that I might want to consider that as well, since she has shown dog aggression.

I have had many sleepless nights over this lately. But I "think" I found a solution. I am going to partition off part of my fenced in yard and just keep them separated at all times. The new partition will allow access into the garage, which I can turn into a big dog house, if I have to. I also need to get a BIG crate for the puppy to keep them separated when they are both in the house (like when I'm working or the weather is bad).

I'm not going to abandon that dog. I've committed to taking care of her - dog aggressive or not. My family thinks I'm crazy, and my sister isn't even talking to me, but I don't care.

In the middle of all this, I went to the beach for a couple of days over July 4th. My dog with the ripped ear was staying at the vet during that time, so there was nothing I could do here.

As you know, I was really worried about my drinking at the beach, but I felt obligated to go because my friend would be all alone. So I went, reluctantly. Well, when I got there, her obnoxious friend Cissy was there. We get along, but honestly I can't really stand her. She's the kind of person that has to constantly post pictures on Facebook to let everyone know how great she is. She even poses for her pics and makes you take them over when they aren't perfect, like when her hand isn't positioned just right over her hip....

Anyway, I digress....

So, long story short about the vacation. I was so irritated the whole time with that woman, and OMG it was BRUTALLY hot....I ended up coming home early with a renewed focus on my life, my alcohol addiction, my commitment to my animals, my job, my health and fitness, etc.

I'm ready to get back on this AF train and get things together. I feel that sense of urgency again, and I feel strong again. I feel strong to make this commitment to stop pouring alcohol down my throat. I can't deal with life unless I'm sober. I have to do this. I just have to!

So, here is to Day 2. I am not leaving the nest again. You guys provide such a strong sense of support for me, and I really appreciate that.

I love you all!

[DfromCT]

Newbies Nest

Good morning, all!

Brown, I would DEFINITELY consult with a trusted MD before starting Topa.

I wonder if there's a place on this site to get the LATEST version of the program? The one in the book hasn't been update since 2007, and the starter kit (extreme) has some things included, like the L-Glut, that aren't even mentioned.

Day 2 in the program, with Naltrexone, day one saw HUGE decrease in desire and intake. Three beers over the course of a 5 hour 90+ degree round of golf and one glass of red wine with dinner. Truth be told, didn't enjoy the wine much, but don't want to throw out 1/2 bottle of good wine.

I definitely notice a huge difference in my desire to drink. Unfortunately also notice no desire to eat, and slept in short increments from. 11:45 to 8:15. Mostly 5-20 minutes at a time! No fun! But I'm committed to beating my addiction, a few days of moderation before trying 30 days of abstinence. As I keep telling myself, my wife and family mean more to me than alcohol. Twins due August 9, if she gets that far (38 weeks). My wife is very supportive, and that helps.
Hope all are well, and thanks for your support.

Going to do the hypnotherapy cd again today, I think it helps, and want to get more CDs than the starter kit's basic intro. Also going for a bike ride or swim, trying to exhaust myself into a good nights sleep tonight.

Litre, congrats on the milestone, more will follow, I'm sure.

Dave

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone! I haven't been in here in a couple of days...I have been trying to keep all of my animals cool and comfortable in this friggin heat!!!!!! One of the fans in my barn actually overheated....totally rediculous!

Rooni.....so glad to see that you are back. I sent you a PM last week...I was worried about you!!! So sorry to hear that you have been struggling lately. I have 2 pitbuls that I rescued when they were 5 weeks old....they are 3 years old now. I totally commend you for doing whatever you can do to keep the pup. If it was people aggression I would think differently...but dog aggression can be controlled. I am glad that your other dog is on the mend!!!! What beach did you go to? I go to Holden Beach and i can just imagine how brutal the heat must've been! Hop on back into the nest....I have my crazy glue here for you!!!!!!

Yogamom....welcome back into the nest!!!!! You can use my crazy glue too after Rooni gets done with it!

Hi Kradle.....you are doing great.....really racking uo those AF days!!!!!

LillyE, Litre, Pixie, Dave, Mick and everyone else.....stay strong and a happy AF Sunday to all!!!!!!!

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

Well I did it, this is the first time I have really felt freedom in over a year. I had to sell my car and walk, just could not afford it anymore. Now I do not need gas, insurance or even a license. What a great little thing.

Pixie, yes, and e-bike is electric, it looks like a small motorbike/scooter. It is a blast. It is so true, I am truely blessed with my children and grandchildren.

Yogamom, welcome back, I did not now you when I was here before, but I will send you the velcro. Mind you it will be through mental telepathy. I still have some working cells.

Mike, I still have problems sleeping, not sure how long it will last, but I am sure not that long.

Rooni, I had alot of day 2's. I used to live with a man who was very attractive, but so self centered. He would monopolize our conversation, I would start speaking and he would take over. If we were out with friends and I started to tell a story, he would finish. The difference here is, after 3 months AF I started drinking again, I just could not stand being around him. Now I can stop for myself and my children/grandchildren. Big congrats on Day2

Dest, I was wondering where you were, missed ya

Still a hot one here, feels hotter than they say, but when I get out on the e-bike it is so great, a little breeze blowing. I can only go 20 k, but that is enough for me.

Enjoy the rest of the day nesters, for the ones who are coming back or just starting, hang on. It is a bumpy ride, but so far so worth while.

[Mick]

Newbies Nest

Hi

Hi all how are you?Well this is like some of you my 5th day..................and it was really hard.Started off well went out all day..then on the way home, I passed the off licence where I used to nip in to get my little bottles of vodka.Today had been really great, and the little voice said "youve done well so far just get the one drink"No one will know and it will only be one..Very very tempting, but then I thought of a couple of things I had seen on here.. one is Marios demon drink , which I have got on my phone, and the other is urge surfing, where I read urges come and recede, you have got to get over them.So I read the story and then started to look at what reasons were behind wanting a drink.I actually told myself that if I found one good reason then I would buy it.I couldnt think of one, especially since today I heard about 2 of my friends and there partners being involved in serious domestic issues through drink.As far as one drink goes..thats crap, Icould never do that and I know it and as for anyone knowing that actually isnt the point .I would know.Strangely enough although I have only been on here 5 days I felt I would be letting you all down after the support I have hadSorry for all the woffle, but at the end of it I can say that I done day 5 af and also my first weekend YES!!!Hope it went as well for you guys.
Thank you all
Mick

[Mick]

Newbies Nest

apologies..it is the letter by sober visitor

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Roon, so glad to hear from you. Was planning to post again asking after you today - wondered what had happened and was worried. One question: Did drinking make anything better last week? And, also, do you think part of why the week was such a nightmare might have in fact been due to booze and its aftereffects as well as the dog situation? Things feel so much worse when we're hungover, ashamed and in withdrawal.

Mick, I read this last night and thought of you and your previous comments...
Think of it as an adventure. Ultimately, that is what it is. Think of it as an adventure or as a really strange trip to be taken.

Sobriety is going to be unique, interesting, and exciting. Sure there will be a bit of down time here and there, but the same is true of using drugs and alcohol. In fact, if you get honest with yourself, being stuck in addiction is close to 99 percent down time. You are happy and properly medicated maybe one percent of the time, and the other 99 percent of your time you are either miserable, anxious, obsessing over getting more drugs or booze, trying to get drunk enough or high enough to really be happy, and so on. Addiction has become a chore and the new excitement is to suddenly face life stone cold sober. Being completely un-medicated is the ultimate trip and it will make life interesting again.
So you have this decision to make and the only time that you could ever make it is RIGHT NOW. If you try to put it off for the future then your present decision is not to get clean and sober. Period.

You have only one choice facing you, and it is present during every moment of your life, now and forever moving forward: do I want to seek recovery, or do I want to continue on with my addiction? Make the decision right now to choose recovery. Ask for help, seek treatment, and your life will get better and better.

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Also, Fin, where are you with the roll call, hey? I hope you're enjoying another AF weekend.

Mick, I've read some good posts from Sober Visitor but not sure if I know the one you mean. Can you post the link?

[ITGeekChick]

Newbies Nest

LillyE, something you said in your post just now really resonated with me: "Being stuck in addiction is close to 99% down time." We got our new bed today, and had to break down the old one and clear up the bedroom to get ready for it, and during this process, I got to see firsthand just how much time I used to waste being intoxicated. No matter what I was doing during the day, I was merely marking time until the end of the evening, when I would lie in bed with a book and drink (and usually eat, too) until I passed out for the night. I read the same books over and over, since I wouldn't retain anything new. Then I'd toss whatever I was reading on the floor, along with any wrappers, paper plates, etc. Wake up the next day, repeat, repeat, repeat. It hit me that I haven't been living. I've been existing. That's it.

The sad part is that I would damn near sell my soul for a drink right now. Luckily, I have the Antabuse on board, so since I can't drink for at least two weeks, I'm pretty sure the urge will pass by then.

Hope you all are doing well.