Newbies Nest

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

I'm glad that resonated with you IT - it did for me too. I have been thinking a lot lately about how much time was actually fun when I was drinking. Sometimes it was still, to be honest, but I'm quite sure that "fun" time was actually pretty fleeting if you could really pinpoint and measure it and that much more of the time I was anxious, depressed, hungover or craving both while drunk and sober. What a waste of time, hey?

Hang in there hon, you're doing well. About two weeks now, right? I don't know about you but I definitely start to see a boost in how i feel around then. Sure, you'll have bad days, but you should be starting to reap the benefits physically and mentally, right? :h

Hey, are you an IT Geek Chick professionally or just personally? Just curious..

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

good morning nesters,
i've been gone awhile and want to post quickly before going back and reading up on how it's been here the past week++. i am having to make today my new beginning of boot camp. i went away for a wedding and to visit friends and i think i knew that i wouldn't be able to go without alcohol. i managed to not overdue it, but...so now i want to try again for 30 days. i'm trying to move into a positive state of mind where i actually believe i can do it. i appreciate what you just posted, Lilly, about this being an adventure. that is actually how i see being sober. i have to work hard on keeping that present in my mind.
off to read.

[Mick]

Newbies Nest

Hi

Hi all how are you?Thanks for the post Lilly E..as you say the decision is mine..and its made.I was just trying to say at the time how I felt.Part of my strategy plan is to let others know how I feel and how I dealt with it, because if I am going through it then pretty sure so is everyone else and we all deal with issues in different ways so if we can pick a little bit up from each other to help , then all the better.Lilly , the letter I am talking about is Junkie thinking.I have got a copy in my wallet, in my car,recorded on my phone, and also the website screen photographed with it on!
Hope you are all doing well ..roll on another af adventure

Mick

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

hey Mick,
what you wrote did help me already. for the future. i take so much from what people share here to use myself in difficult situations. usually when i've started drinking again its been for instant gratification--without giving any sort of thought to what i'm doing. or giving a bit of thought and then completely ignoring it. it was great to read how you dealt with the devil. there are NO good reasons to drink!

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Hello...4 am here...and obviously I still have trouble sleeping from time to time-LOL! But was able to get up and see my hubby off on a trip and make him some coffee...

A year ago I would have been awake too- in this situation... I just would have been in that horrible middle of the night wide awake state...and as soon as he left I'd have poured myself some vodka to bring back to bed...wake up in the am (well later in the am) and still be dizzy and have a headache so would decide to keep drinking. My day would be a complete waste which would roll over into the next day and the next. God I was robbing myself and everyone I love.

Yet I honestly still wrestle with sobriety at times...it's insane.

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

hi Lolab--
reading through the posts from the past week, i found myself looking for you.
it's good to see you doing so well. i felt a bit sad this morning when i realized i first logged on to this site almost exactly a year ago. and here i am in a bit better frame of mind but nevertheless... haven't accomplished a whole lot. i'm really proud of you.
off to work now..

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters

Quick update - moving on today to another camp site, not sure if I will have Wi Fi so don't worry if you don't hear from me for a couple of days. I will check in when I can.

Keep going everyone

Sausage x
Day 137 AF

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Hey Mick, just to clarify, I wasn't trying to lecture you about making a choice nor craving a drink. I simply read what I posted here somewhere else and it reminded me of your comments about it being an adventure so I thought it might resonate with you.

I do like the idea of seeing it that way a lot and I think it's much more conducive to staying quit than focusing on how much we'd like to drink or depriving ourselves. Admitting how you're feeling about wanting a drink and struggling with it is something else and all part of the healing too.

LifeChange, I missed your posts so I'm glad you're back. And I *completely* here you about a year ago. I started "quitting" a year ago too so, yeah, it's a bit depressing to be reminded of that of late by the time of year and that I'm still on 'Day 8' today.

But, hey, look at it this way, at least we haven't given up. We can still get there. From all I've read here we're not the only ones who've struggled for some time before 'getting it'. I was happy to read the posts of someone at 2 years now whose struggling on-off posts I remember reading when I joined up - so there you go. And look at our Sausage. And Byrdlady for that matter. And I bet K9 too, right K?

[Mick]

Newbies Nest

Hi Lilly E..yep the hard bit is getting to that point where it becomes an adventure not so sure Iam there yet tho will be one day... anyway whatever todays adventure is.. hope its inside cos its hammering down with rain.
have a good day all
Mick

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

Life, welcome back to day 1, that I believe is the most important day. I had numerous day ones. I know I can stop, but I cannot stop starting. That is a phrase I heard when I had a short stay in the hospital. It is so true. After a few day 1's, I made my mind up. I was to told to pick a day, so I did, twice. The last day I stuck to it, so far so good. Wishing you well on your adventure.

So nesters I had a dream last nite, I was drinking, it is vauge, but I knew I was the only one who need to know, just like Mick. I also did not want to disappoint my fellow nesters. When I woke I had this nagging guilt, but it was only a dream. In it I was going to tell you all that I will not keep posting my days. Strange how that little demon sneeks right on up there in our subconscious to try and trick us, but I had and will again knock that little red monster off my shoulder.
I proudly sit here before my morning coffee saying this is Day 9

Going back out on my e-bike, as I said I have not had this freedom in so long, I am ODing on it and life, that is the perfect thing to overdue. Will catch up later and see how everyone is doing.
This A.M. I actually slept in till close to 6:30, and went to bed around 8 P.M. I did take a gravol which does help. It was good to have slept that long. Mind you I got up a few times, compliments of all the water I am drinking. If I do not lose weight I will be surprised, not that have a lot to lose, but I could handle maybe 10lbs. So off to make coffee, and shower, enjoy your day and I will check in later. Love to all and keep going:happy:

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Hey nesters!
Just wanted to get some help/advice. I'm 230 days AF and starting to feel like I can have a drink here and there I know I can't moderate and don't want this feeling. Any advice?

Haw read back on my original posts to remind myself that it isn't for me and I am a non drinker. Ren after this time being in some social situations makes me want to have a drink. And even now I get stumped when someone asks me why I am not drinking. Still haven't the courage to tell people I had a problem and have been telling them that I am trying to keep off for a year. Well 7m or so in and I'm gettig some thoughts. Although not major strong I don't want them. I think I need to stop saying the year excuse and just say I don't drink anymore. Need I get the reason clear in my head so I don't stable when asked.

Also it may be like a reaffirmative mantra.

Many thanks

[DfromCT]

Newbies Nest

Hello, Nesters,

I hadn't planned on yesterday being day one, but sometime late afternoon/early evening I realized I hadn't had a drink, and decided to go for it. My goal is to make thirty days and go from there. Maybe my next drink will be a glass of wine with my wife a little over a month from now her last night in the hospital after delivering our twin boys. I set out on a course to become one who can drink in moderation, but know I have to abstain for a period first.

It was very powerful for me to throw the last glass of red wine from a bottle I bought Friday night down the drain. I had earmarked it to have with dinner, but didn't feel like eating, and didn't want to drink. I think reading here, especially the thread about hiding your drinking, helped motivate me. So today is day two. I'll be in my office, which is in a basement apartment (in home office that I moved out of our home a few years back) which is a place I have been hiding and drinking for years, especially late in the day. If there's any beer in the fridge there, I'll give them to my landlord early in the day, before the cravings hit!

I was able to get some sleep last night, even though I woke quite a few times. I have this incredible pain in my neck, probably from too much couch time reading, etc. It's right behind my left earlobe and seems to extend into my head there. That kept waking me, but I just started the meditation counting and found myself asleep again, never got past five or six! I wonder if the neck pain is really a muscle or a SE, but think it's from reading and sleeping in a funny position with the a/c blowing on me.

Hope everyone else is doing well. Day 2 is another challenge in this adventure. I'll keep telling myself I love my wife and family more than I love alcohol. Will check back in later....

Dave

[Gdog]

Newbies Nest

Humbly restarting again.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

MinStar...you hang tough, now you hear?? I have seen so many people hear that voice again saying that you can handle it now...since it's been so long. This is Addiction Head...Dick Head, for short. This is that very same voice you heard in the beginning....nothing has changed. Your relationship with AL is as good as it's ever going to get. Notice I say as good...because, trust me, it can and will get worse. AL wins everytime. If there is ONE THING I have learned from this site, it that you can NOT go home again...I, personally, have never seen ONE single person who has successfully moderated and stayed that way. AND I HAVE LOOKED!!! Why? Because I want to BE that person. Alas...I am not. This is a gasp from The Devil himself. Do not feed the Beast. It is alive in all of us and only needs ONE drink to lead us down the path to hell. You hang in there for your one year anniversary. I want to hear your acceptance speech!! How you ALMOST fell, but hung in there...and are so glad you did. NOBODY is ever glad he/she started drinking again. NO BODY.
Lolab had a thread she started about this very topic, and dammit, I can't think of it...hopefully she will be along. If that doesn't scare the Beast out of you, nothing will. I think it's called...Considering Moderation? I called it the Wall of Shame....what a waste AL is....it has taken my friends away, and dam near took ME away. You don't need AL in your life, not now, not ever. Stay the course. Byrdie

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Good morning peeps!!!!! Today is day 10 for me....double digits (again)...and I am moving forward to my 30 days and my hat from Byrd! Ha! I am still tossing and turning at night....but the night sweats are gone!

Mick...I was thinking the same thing as you....view it as an adventure. Last week after doing some soul searching I thought that maybe if I changed my thinking and the way I was viewing being AF I could make this journey a bit easier. So far...so good! Stay strong today!

IT....I hope you got a good nights sleep on your new bed!!!!!

LillyE....What you said is amazing! I never thought about wasting 99% of my day for a 1% "fix". Soooooo true. Thanks so much for that!!!!

Litre..Your e-bike sounds sooo cool...I totally got a visual of your riding around on it. Fun fun!!!!

Life...welcome back! I had wondered where you were! I am glad to see you back and focusing on starting over again...Af!

DfromCT....love love LOVE your avatar!!!!! HA!

Gdog....hang tough my friend!!!!! You are stronger than you think. Planet Alcohol is not a fun place to visit....its dark and dank and there is no intelligent life there. I heard that Planet AF is gorgeous...like a tropical paradise!!!!!!!