Newbies Nest

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for the quick response, LG and GD....

LG - yes, I am still signed up for fitness boot camp, but I haven't been in over a week due to the holiday, the brutal heat (it's outside), and of course my alcohol addiction. I must get back on track with that. Working out makes me feel sooo much better.

GD - I completely understand what you mean by the three-day challenge. Three days is usually about the time when my body finally starts feeling somewhat normal again. That's when the beast likes to strike. That's also why it's so important to be ready with your counterattack. One thing I'm going to do over the work day today is to rewrite my list of reasons why I must quit drinking. Pulling out that list has helped me get over urges in the past. I need that list more than ever right now.

Hope both of you have a wonderful day!

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

so rooni - what's your plan...for today. For tomorrow - the next day...when you "forget" the evils of alcohol? Sometimes we are so stuck in that hamster wheel, we forget that we need a really strong comprehensive approach - well thought out before hand - to deal with those feelings of "aww - I wasn't so bad! I can have a couple drinks today..." Are you taking supplements? medication? meditation? exercise? changing your routine? I apologize for again stating the obvious but I know all too well that in the middle of the drinking depression that we can let these things - hell, I let EVERYTHING - go by the wayside. There's no easy way around it. If your life centers around drinking now - and you want/need to stop drinking, then you're going to have to make a pretty aggressive plan.:l

yogamom, I laughed at you having a designated drinker for beer pong...:-)

Litre, I know that my sleep was off for awhile. At first of course, it was awful. I practically slept sitting up - twitchy - for the first few nights. Then sweaty fitful sleep - then I went through a phase of not being able to fall asleep. But I will say that at some point before probably 3 or 4 months, I settled in to a much better sleep, and by now - I am sleeping better than I remember - well - since I was a teenager and could sleep through anything! I do take calms forte or Nerve tonic most nights. I have been a really really rotten sleeper my entire adult life. More than likely due to drinking. Because underneath it all is someone who sleeps pretty well! It's amazing.

I wish I could say hello to everyone...summer is tough - my teenage sleeper will be getting up soon, and I have to go water flowers first. :-)

lastly, I will admit. I ignore people who post in the nest about "successful" moderating. This is a place where it is encouraged to go 30 days AF before you make that decision. People are so vulnerable here. "I" am so vulnerable. I know myself and if I read or interact with someone who is talking about having a few - or that they were able to stop after a couple the night before - that twisted side of my brain starts to think that maybe I could too. Why? Hell, I don't know....I wouldn't go back to that life for a million bucks. It's something I don't understand. And I don't yet have complete control over - so I think it's like a slap in the face to talk about it in the nest. So yep - I ignore. there are places on this board for those trying to moderate...and those who are trying desperately to abstain - for whatever length of time shouldn't have to interact if it's a threat to their sobriety.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

x post Rooniferd...sounds like you're working on that plan...:-)

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

awh Roon, just wish I could come over there and give you a big hug! GD is right, this is a process, a long one for many of us. There are many longtermers here who had rocky roads to get where they are - do n't give up. look, I was feeling really upset earlier today to realise that it has been pretty much exactly A YEAR since I starting 'quitting'. Have I made it even 30 days yet? No in one way that makes me feel so hopeless but at least we are still here trying. And the more I read and learn here about alcoholism the more I realise just how important that is. DON'T GIVE UP. You are going to make it to 30 days here even if I have to fly over there and whip your ass ...

kradle, I just saw your post re your husband and I am SO MAD on your behalf! It's hard to type long messages on this iPad but I think people said great things. I echo what Library Girl said - you CAN get out before .the kids are grown. Is that something you're willing to consider? It must be so hard to get healthy in such an environment - so crushing to your self esteem. It's wonderful you are trying and it is so true that you are SO much more likely to find a good, sane way out sober AF. a GIGANTIC hug to you too.

LG, you're always welcome here I'm glad the Nest still feels like home for you.

:l :h

[DfromCT]

Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters!

I woke this morning and thought "wow, day three, this is going so well. I didn't think it would be easy, but this hasn't been too bad." Then when I came to my office and booted up my computer, I had to immediately check the response from Wildflower to my last post. Wow....tears came to my eyes, and I decided to be in the emotion for a bit. That was a big step. I realized that I'm not anywhere near over the hump, and that today is day three, and I must get through day three to get to day four and further. It's not easy.

I'm also open to the idea that moderation could lead to returning to the evil ways I'm trying to get out of my life. My eyes are open wider, and I'm not discounting the value of abstinence. Just trying to make it another day.

I noticed the sub-thread about iPad's and autistic kids, and wanted to add that my wife is a special ed teacher that has taught many kids psychiatrists have said will never read how to read. Some have graduated HS and gone to college (she teaches elementary school, mostly k through 3). Her experience with autistic kids and the iPad has lead the schools PTA to buy about a dozen of them for the special ed dept, and it works wonders.

Thank you all for your support, even those of you that have warned me about the pitfalls of moderation. I hear your words, even though I was trying not to listen. Again, for now my goal is 30 days, but more immediate is to make it through today.

I'm going to start another thread, as I remembered something very inspiring from my past. It will focus on a speech from Jimmy Valvano, my favorite part of it is this: As Jimmy Valvano said in the most inspirational speach I've ever heard: To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. Number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special.

Check out the thread, entittled "Don't Ever Give Up". I hope it adds to your journey.

Dave

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

DfromCon - wow! I love Jim Valvano. I'm in Raleigh, so he's very near and dear to my heart. I even visited his grave in Oakwood Cemetery here in Raleigh the other day. I stood there and cried over his grave. I told him how much he has inspired so many people. I told him about my troubles with alcohol. I cried and cried. Love that man, and I love that speech....

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

When I hit one year's sobriety, it was a pretty big deal to me. I received so many 'well-wishes' and 'how did you do its' that I was compelled to respond. I won't bore you with the 'acceptance speech', but the nut of those words were...I learned which voices to listen to. This meant many things: The voices in my head, the voices around me, and the voices on this site.

New paragraph. This is the Newbie's Nest, and I'm not a newbie. But I owe my complete sobriety to those who went before me and taught me what they had learned. I learned the hard way, yes...but I also learned from others. I sought out a site online that would help me stop drinking...not how to drink better (I already knew that).

I try to do more than wish someone good luck...I attempt to give them the tools to dig their way out of this rabbit hole. Some use them and some don't. I personally know the hell of addiction, and the faces that get in the way of achieving freedom from it. I hope I have helped more people than I've hurt. Maybe I will call that my form of 'harm reduction'. Call it whatever you like...but I call it alcoholism. We are all trying to find our way. So whatever works for you....

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Wow this thread has moved. Thanks lolab litte2 and pixie. I have only read the first page so sorry of I missed anyone. I like tw year by year scenario. It kinda doesn't warrant more probing does it. Anyone say they had/have a problem? One fellow mother last week was talkih about her ex and how he couldn't go without a drink as soon as he got home from work. He could t tell her the last day AL free he ha either. She said he was definitely an Addict. I kept quiet.

Vales book was good for me in that he kept on iterating points. I like the medical stuff as I'm a biologist. And I liked the way he made me think of alcohol as poison. How we encourage others to take it too.

I'm off to work for a bit and then my daughter. I'll post more later and read through more. Lolab. Thanks for that link xxx

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Thanks wildflower and lilliE! Just skimming through the thread :-)

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone!

Feels like I haven't been here in a while...I've been reading but not posting much. I am super busy at work right now, and spending my evenings studying for a test I'm taking Saturday to hopefully get a new job!

Rooni - Sorry you are starting over. I know what "hell" it is to keep going through the same crap day after day. I constantly remind myself of the "truth" of drinking. I cannot let myself romanticize it, otherwise I don't know where I will end up (probably jail, and not as an employee, but as a guest...!)

LG - I hope you do stay in the Nest...I've enjoyed getting to "know" you and I want you to stick around. Love ya girlie!

I need to catch up...this thread moves fast and I'm a bit behind.

Everyone have a great day!!!

K9

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Thanks K9 - I will get there one way or another. I'm feeling pretty determined right now, so hopefully this mindset will continue, and when it doesn't, I'm going to pull out my handy list of all the reasons I CANNOT drink.

I think one of the biggest things that scare me about quitting drinking is having to completely redo my whole life. I mean, that sounds kinda fun (considering that I'm miserable in my current life because of AL), but it sounds so foreboding at the same time! Like I said in previous posts, my ENTIRE life is surrounded by alcohol - my friends, my social life, everything. All those things need to be changed.

I know I need to do what several people have suggested here - stop thinking about the task as a whole and break it down into more manageable parts. One day at a time, right? And if those days start adding up, then those other changes in friends, social life, etc, will slowly start to change - for the better. I will get healthier, I will lose weight, I will start finding hobbies to replace my drinking/hungover time....

And then one day, after a period of time and growth without AL, I will become the person I want to be, and alcohol will just be "someone I used to know and hang with." And just like a bad boyfriend, I will look back and wonder how the heck I stayed with him so long....

I apologize for not helping people more on this site. I tend to seek more advice than I give it - mostly because who wants advice from a failure?

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Honestly rooniferd I think that one of the most important things for me is the reflection...looking within...writing...posting....questioning....why I kept doing it...why I am still tempted at times...I discover so much about myself just by rambling on here. Don't worry about who you are or aren't helping. I guarantee that someone in your position is lurking and gaining strength from the words that you write...identifying with you. Help yourself. :-)

[Wildflowers]

Newbies Nest

By: DfromCT

I woke this morning and thought "wow, day three, this is going so well. I didn't think it would be easy, but this hasn't been too bad." Then when I came to my office and booted up my computer, I had to immediately check the response from Wildflower to my last post. Wow....tears came to my eyes, and I decided to be in the emotion for a bit. That was a big step. I realized that I'm not anywhere near over the hump, and that today is day three, and I must get through day three to get to day four and further. It's not easy.

I'm also open to the idea that moderation could lead to returning to the evil ways I'm trying to get out of my life. My eyes are open wider, and I'm not discounting the value of abstinence. Just trying to make it another day.

Thank you all for your support, even those of you that have warned me about the pitfalls of moderation. I hear your words, even though I was trying not to listen. Again, for now my goal is 30 days, but more immediate is to make it through today.



I'm going to start another thread, as I remembered something very inspiring from my past. It will focus on a speech from Jimmy Valvano, my favorite part of it is this: As Jimmy Valvano said in the most inspirational speach I've ever heard: To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. Number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special.

Check out the thread, entittled "Don't Ever Give Up". I hope it adds to your journey.

It's not easy, but it's worth it! You are doing great DfromCT! As Byrdie says "Ya just got get thru this day". I can't tell ya how many times that has carried me!... Then the next day, I'm usually chipper again. Some days are easy, & then there are days that don't go as smooth, I personally have found tho, that by Not adding alcohol to the mix, I can Now deal with life better. Tho, it doesn't always seem that way in regards to my emotions. I'm a sensitive flower. hahaha... Think it's me being an alkie in early recovery, or maybe I'm just a bit this way naturally. I don't know.

I'm glad that your eyes are open a bit wider. Mine are too. You will get thru today & get your 30 days. Then you can reevaluate your goals. We will throw ya a party!...

I love his speech. I pretty much do this every day now, that I'm sober. At the end of my drinking I cried more then I laughed. Who would have guessed, that alcohol is depressant. I will check out your new thread. I love being inspired. Who knows, maybe someday, I will write my own book. Good things are in store, for me, if I stay sober. That's why I'm planning on it! :h


Done With Alcohol 5/23/12

[Gdog]

Newbies Nest

Hope everyone is at peace today. Getting ready to head home. Game plan for evening is walk, decaf, dinner with fam, movie or book, bed. Hopeful to get day 2 under my belt.

[Yogamom]

Newbies Nest

Hi all. I hope u stick around too LG. I dont like to think of any one being pushed out. i have a headache tonight so not drinking will be a snap. Life is crazy here ... Really stressful.... Hence the headache. Probably need to drink lots of water.