Newbies Nest

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Hey all. Day 3 AF and planning on making some spinach and diced ham sauce for pasta tonight for din din. Congrats to all who continue to fight and post here. Being here and being accountable is a very big part of it, IMHO.

*Waves Hi to K9* Miss you! Hope your headache goes away quickly yoga!

Check back later!

[Wildflowers]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1348330 wrote: When I hit one year's sobriety, it was a pretty big deal to me. I received so many 'well-wishes' and 'how did you do its' that I was compelled to respond. I won't bore you with the 'acceptance speech', but the nut of those words were...I learned which voices to listen to. This meant many things: The voices in my head, the voices around me, and the voices on this site.

New paragraph. This is the Newbie's Nest, and I'm not a newbie. But I owe my complete sobriety to those who went before me and taught me what they had learned. I learned the hard way, yes...but I also learned from others. I sought out a site online that would help me stop drinking...not how to drink better (I already knew that).

I try to do more than wish someone good luck...I attempt to give them the tools to dig their way out of this rabbit hole. Some use them and some don't. I personally know the hell of addiction, and the faces that get in the way of achieving freedom from it. I hope I have helped more people than I've hurt. Maybe I will call that my form of 'harm reduction'. Call it whatever you like...but I call it alcoholism. We are all trying to find our way. So whatever works for you....

It's my dream! One day at a time, I will make it!... There are a lot of voices & I am thankful for them all!... I look back & the voices that have hurt me, on my journey into sobriety over the years, have often been the ones I remember the most. They were & still are the ones that have helped me, get to where I am today. I've learned there keepers!..


I've learned the hard way too!. But, I'm grateful that I still have the opportunity to get this right!.... Thankful for you Byrdie & others who have stuck around to show us the way!.... The way out.... For me it's out of hell! Into living a healthier & reasonably happy life!....


For me I now know for sure I am an alcoholic, but it took me a long time to accept this. Yet, I am also a whole lot of other things. Just because I am a recovering alkie, doesn't mean that in time, I can't go onto becoming something more special.


I just wanted you to also know that I am so sorry for the loss of your friends husband! We never know when it's our time. I'm just so glad that you are sober & present for her, your brothers surgery & your dad. Sober for yourself to. No guilt, no shame. :l

Thank you for being at MWO for us. I really respect you & appreciate you! You've helped me alot!... :thanks:

Wildflowers :h

Done With Alcohol 5/23/12

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

First, just wanted to post something that inspired me this morning...


“Real” recovery is not going to be a boring drag where you are constantly fantasizing about using your drug of choice. Real recovery is exciting because you will be making positive changes in your life and eventually the benefits of those changes will start to kick in. This is where recovery becomes exciting. Even if you start making positive changes very early in your recovery journey it may take a little while for those benefits to really kick in, so therefore you have to have faith that this new path in life will reward you at some point.
In long term sobriety, the challenges that you face and the prospect of future growth experiences is exciting. The process itself becomes joyful because you realize that it is all a learning process, that the world truly is your oyster because you can achieve anything you want. It is all a matter of setting a goal, taking consistent action, and achieving it. You learn this by getting clean and sober and you continue to learn it as you make positive changes. Thus, recovery is empowering. You realize that you have the power to make positive changes, if only you are willing to put in the required effort….
Stick it out, push yourself to make positive changes, and recovery will become a joy to you.
Link to full article here:
When Does Recovery from Addiction Get Any Easier?

I'm at Day 10 but I'm not focusing on counting days so much this time around as focusing on really getting/staying in the permanent-no-excuses-quit frame of mind.

On which note, see post to come...

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

lolab;1348303 wrote: lastly, I will admit. I ignore people who post in the nest about "successful" moderating. This is a place where it is encouraged to go 30 days AF before you make that decision. People are so vulnerable here. "I" am so vulnerable. I know myself and if I read or interact with someone who is talking about having a few - or that they were able to stop after a couple the night before - that twisted side of my brain starts to think that maybe I could too. Why? Hell, I don't know....I wouldn't go back to that life for a million bucks. It's something I don't understand. And I don't yet have complete control over - so I think it's like a slap in the face to talk about it in the nest. So yep - I ignore. there are places on this board for those trying to moderate...and those who are trying desperately to abstain - for whatever length of time shouldn't have to interact if it's a threat to their sobriety.

I'm glad you posted this Lolab. This is what I was trying to say before. I really didn't/don't want to offend or alienate Library Girl or anyone else trying to moderate but I do, honestly, totally agree with this.

I am trying SO SO SO HARD to embrace acceptance of my alcoholism and accept the fact that I really need to quit altogether and it is such a constant struggle and the voices in my head about why maybe I don't and maybe I can just change my relationships with drinking blah blah blah are still so strong even though I know it's all a lie, rationally. Such is the power of addiction.

In any case, it is such a big and hard thing in early recovery for those of us who really need to find total sobriety that, yeah, it's just not helpful to come here and hear about moderating. And there are other places on the board for it.

LG, again, I don't mean to make you feel bad or unwelcome in the Nest but I do think this is kind of important because the dangers of romanticizing moderation in early sobriety are just too huge for a lot of us. :l

[ITGeekChick]

Newbies Nest

LillyE you're right, there aren't a lot of women doing IT work yet. I also do sports photography, which is an even more male-dominant field. I'm weird LOL. If you can possibly get your nephew an iPad, I highly recommend it. Obviously every kid is different, but I've seen many kids on the autism spectrum make huge strides using these devices, and there are all kinds of cool apps they can use. I have a bunch of apps for reading comprehension, weather, and the solar system that my kiddo has a ball with. One thing Temple Grandin recommended was to encourage kids' special interests, so I'm always buying new space/planet apps. Who knows, maybe he'll work for NASA some day!

Dave from CT, please tell your wife "Thank you" for teaching special ed. We've been so fortunate with the teachers our son has had, and I truly believe that the teachers set the standard for how a special needs child's peers are going to treat him down the line.

Rooniferd, please do not think of yourself as a "failure." It takes a lot of courage to try and make such big changes in our lives. Anyone who is seeking to improve themself in any way is not a failure.

Byrdlady, I know the title says "Newbies nest" but personally, I really like having people who are further along in this journey than I am in the Nest. It gives me something to strive for.

Hope you are all having a great AF day!

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

ITGeekChick;1348516 wrote: LillyE you're right, there aren't a lot of women doing IT work yet. I also do sports photography, which is an even more male-dominant field. I'm weird LOL. If you can possibly get your nephew an iPad, I highly recommend it. Obviously every kid is different, but I've seen many kids on the autism spectrum make huge strides using these devices, and there are all kinds of cool apps they can use. I have a bunch of apps for reading comprehension, weather, and the solar system that my kiddo has a ball with. One thing Temple Grandin recommended was to encourage kids' special interests, so I'm always buying new space/planet apps. Who knows, maybe he'll work for NASA some day!

Rooniferd, please do not think of yourself as a "failure." It takes a lot of courage to try and make such big changes in our lives. Anyone who is seeking to improve themself in any way is not a failure.

Byrdlady, I know the title says "Newbies nest" but personally, I really like having people who are further along in this journey than I am in the Nest. It gives me something to strive for.

Good for you IT for bucking the gender status quo! I always love to see that in the workplace - well, anywhere really

I totally can't afford another iPad right now - shouldn't have bought my own! But I am definitely going to try and do this at some stage (he is five). His parents have ZERO money for aids for him so it could be a godsend. As I said, they are PC nerds. Do you think an Android tablet would be just as good? Might be cheaper too. I don't want anything that is going to cost them a lot to buy apps etc for either. But I guess I could get them an iTunes voucher to go with it for that stuff.

Roonie, I second that, there's no point calling yourself a failure. You fail when you stop trying. Please keep trying hon. I believe you can get there.

And I also concur that I think that the long-timers here are a big part of what MAKES the Nest what it is - Byrdie, K9, Lavade and Library Girl - sharing your experience here is so invaluable for us newbies.

So I spent quite a while reading the AA Big Book online last night. I am still not keen on doing AA for a number of reasons but, man, some of the personal stories in it are powerful. Worth checking out for those sections alone. I also ordered Nan Robertson's 'Getting Better' - she's a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist and longer member of AA and it's a book she wrote about both her story and AA's history.

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

FIN, where the hell are you? Somebody needs to take roll call around here! *Cracks whip*

[Mick]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone..just popped in quickly to see how things are going...cant get used to the time differences.couldnt sleep, been up since 4 am-its now 8.On day 8 now,yesterday was a bit iffy for me, felt like saying wtf, but then sat and went through it all in my empty head.Hope you are all doing good

Mick

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

I've been thinking a bit more about the 'moderation' issue today and realised that it's a non-debate for me in so far as, after the last year, I KNOW that I cannot moderate. I mean, I might manage to go out one or two nights and actually truly just have one to three drinks but it's usually more happenstance than anything and it never lasts more than one or two occasions in a row. Far, far more often and inevitably, I binge. It's weird - I don't get 'cravings' for alcohol the way some people describe when I am AF. It's once I START drinking that the cravings kick in (gimme MOREMOREMORE) and can be so fearsomely strong and never-ending.

So, the choice for me is not between moderation and AF - not even remotely. It's between continuing to drink heavily and fully committing to being AF. And yet, still, even with the current determination I am feeling it is so hard. At the moment I am constantly seeking out information about WHY it's important to quit (how alcoholism is progressive, the dangers etc) and WHAT is so good about being AF. My struggle is about convincing my addictive brain that this is the right choice.

And even knowing that, writing that, I have these moments where I start to think 'Oh I'm not so bad as some. Am I making too big a deal out of this all?'. So I read and read and read here and elsewhere to shore up strength. It's taking almost all my energy at the moment. I also just don't want to keep struggling with this round and round and round the on-off drinking hamster wheel. I'm so tired of that. I want to put that energy toward building a life in recovery.

What am I trying to say? I don't really know. Just thinking aloud.

And with that, I'm off to write in my journal a list of the times that alcohol has been really awful for me. I need more to look back on when those thoughts creep in. I recommend this to all, btw, some of the stuff I've written about my bad times with Al have really helped when I'm struggling to remember WHY.

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

Well another really early morning for me 3:30 a.m. Yesterday morn was a bit iffy, but I had my coffee and breaky took my dog for a walk, then hopped on my bike. Had a rather full day, tried to watch a movie, and started to fall asleep, so off to bed at 8 p.m. I read for about 15 min.
Day 12, two weeks I could not go one day.

Thanks GDog- as I said earlier yesterday started out iffy.

Rooni- none of us are losers, we simply keep trying day 1's. It is not easy, pick a day and try to stick to it, I was told that a year or so ago. It worked then, and seems to be working now. For me this time, I had a rude awakening, it made me re-examine my life and habits. Before I used to say "What the Hell, I do not care!" I do care now.

LG- good to see you, missed you

GDog- your analogy about the garden was absolutely beautiful. Great words for Rooni

Dfrom CT- will check your thread, and Jim Valvano, I do not know him, could be cause I am Canadian, do not know. Laugh, Think, and Cry, so true it does make for a full day.

LoLab- also great words for Rooni

Lily- like you, I am wondering if I am going to count my days, have not fully decided yet, but congrats on your achieving double digits

I will talk a little about moderation also. If I had not tried to drink moderately, I would have been AF for 2 years this past March. Then again a year ago September. I know it is not for me. Back then my frame of mind was not nearly as content as it is now, but i do not want to take that chance. I love life too much.

Byrdie, like everyone else here, we really appreciate the fact you have walked in all of our shoes. Your experiences inspire me and I am sure everyone else. I hope when I have a year under my belt, I can offer some really good words to all the newbies.

For all the newbies I missed, sorry, we are all winners for even trying to take control of our lives, again this is the best group of people who I now consider my friends.:thanks::h

[Gdog]

Newbies Nest

Starting day 3 this morning. Got this far last week and wheels fell off. Really want to get that third day under my belt, and keep going.

Hope everyone was steady last night, and has another day AF.

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Well DONE Litre! You are sounding so good and strong!!

good job on day 3 too GDog, hang on tight to the Nest now!

Library, meant to ask, how do you make your pasta spinach sauce? Sounds good.

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Lily, Gdog, and Litre.:rays: It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day in the neighborhood...would you be my, would you be my..neighbor!:youwish: hahahaha!

Hump day!! Ride it like you stole it!:H I'm at work, 9ish am, just getting my bearings straight. Can't wait until Friday! Yay, another weekend! LOL, but I am planning to visit my mom, and just always look forward to time off, of course.

I hope everyone is doing well today. Lily you seem to be doing a lot of reflecting. Good thoughts!

My spinach sauce did not turn out that well, lol. Basically though, I used frozen spinach, thawed and drained (I didn't thaw it enough last nite), crushed garlic, cream cheese and evaporated milk to make a cream sauce. After adding the spinach, when the garlic has been sauteed a bit in olive oil or butter, the recipe calls for 1/3 cup of white wine, but I used chicken broth. I also added chopped ham. It's a versatile recipe and you can kinda do what you want with it.

LG

[Clockwatcher]

Newbies Nest

back again on a very humble day 4; moderation left the house last Saturday and Sunday was recognition that I am powerless over booze and have been fooling myself into thinking I an moderate...so far so good but I have been her previously....like all above its work and more work but I am happy that I finally gave up fighting to drink like a normal person.

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Day 24 today...unbelievably so. Not much to say. Just keeping busy. Chanting and chanting.

ray: going to stay close here so i can make it to 25.

:l