Newbies Nest

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Butterbean....YAY...I am so proud of you! :yay: Just a few more days and you will get your 30 day "hat" from Byrdie! It's so great to see you so strong and happy...I am on day 14 and you are totally inspiring me to continue on! Keep up the good work!:goodjob:

[Mick]

Newbies Nest

Hi every body, how are you? this is the second time I have written this...already written it and clicked the wrong button and off it went to never never land!Well here we are,in UK on a wet and windy Friday ,hopefully the start of another af weekend.This is my day 10, weekend number 2 fingers crossed.

Hi Stella and Arrii how are you?Im originally from Glasgow way, but climbed over the wall

Rooniferd..you can do it..what are the furry ones?

Hi Didz....well done on the 6 months..just proves you can do it. Doesn't it feel good to wake up without the feeling that something has trample all over your head??

Destiniey ,hi how are you doing?..You got it wrong the water in Scotland is the initail problem..its called falling down juice

Hi boozer nice to see you..40 dyas before you can beat that easy..keep in there

Hi Karenkarz..welcomenice to see you..as you can see I'm pretty new here too,this is a great place to get support and help..one thing I think though, is your husband must be determined to do it.Its strange how this suddenly becomes part of your life, but it works

Butterbean well done on going through your holiday without al.. that's my biggest worry, that you relax and the" oh well I'm on holiday, one wont hurt" mentality kicks in.Good one on now day 28

Just looking at the fields behind where I live..there are longhorn cattle in it as well as horses..watched a calf being born there 2 days ago..Its up and jumping around now and mummy is proudly chaperoning it around the field..Now why would I want to screw this up with booze?Probably dont..but someone forgot to put an "ok Ive had enough "button in my head
Have a good af weekend all
Mick

[windy]

Newbies Nest

The following is something I wrote recently in my journal that I thought I would share here today with you. I hope what I say can help someone out there and add some insight to my situation.

July 13 2012

Friday the 13t -- I am not too concerned with that really. Had an interesting thought about counting my days and just thought I should get it down on this paper. When I committed to 100 days last fall, it was, at the time, the only way I could manage to commit to not drinking booze for an extended period of time. It was an extreme challenge for me and a promise I made to people at MWO. I try my best to keep my promises and I love a challenge. I am very competitive.

Upon a lot of reflection, I don’t think that at the time I was ready to commit to forever and 100 days seemed like the impossible any way. I wanted to see if I could do it, and boy was I surprised I could and it was empowering. But for long-term sobriety, I need more clarity. Looking back I can see I was concentrating only on the first 100 days.

Almost weekly (subconsciously) I would think, “I now can have ONE since my 100 days is done”. In all respect for the process, it definitely worked for just getting past 50 days, but not for the long haul. And I know I committed to long-term, verbally, but not really deep down. I was not really ready for that commitment at that time. I still needed proof that it needed doing.

I proved it needed doing! Now I feel more ready and accepting of that and don’t want to get too hung up on the numbers, but concentrate on my whole life. I really don’t think I could have done it long-term last fall without making that promise that I kept for 189 days, but this time the anti is up -- to life. I want to live every day as it is my last and enjoy every little bit this world has to offer me...and I want to do it with a clear head. I am ready and I have seen how much better my life is without alcohol. And for that I am grateful. I can’t change what was done and I am not sure I would want to. We each have our way, and this is mine: good, sometimes bad, and always different.

And...with that I am done with what has passed and am determined to move forward and keep learning and trying to be a better person. Sorry for the ramble, but I felt I owed some people here an explanation and I am sorry for the errors of my ways.

[windy]

Newbies Nest

Hey Butterbean,

Just wanted to say HOORAY that you made it though your Beach Vacation. In my book that is huge and a milestone to pass. I will be here when you get you hat to cheer you on.

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning nesters, and welcome to all the new faces/names. Today is Friday 13th, it is the day all the bikers go to a place called Port Dover. They are expecting I think 100,000 people today. For me that is about a 3-4 hr ride. Have always wanted to go, but propably will not. We are still having some really hot weather here, but I love it. When I get on my e-bike the wind in my face is so liberating.

So today is day 13. still have the odd thought of drinking, but it is short lived. I am almost half way, so that means the worst of the uphill climb is almost over.

Arrii- Day 2, that is such a great feat, congrats. The nest is such a wonderful place for inspiration and friendship

Rooni- I am sure there are no walls that can keep you down in that well with the beast. I am right there with Dest helping hold on to that rope, so keep climbing. See you at the top, it is a beautiful day.

Clock-For me, one drink will lead to another and then another and so forth. Keep strong, the nest is a great place

Stella-Keep strong also, this is a rough road, but with our eyes open and mind set we can and will miss those deep pot holes

Didz-Day 2, another giant baby step. You will lose that weight simply by not drinking. I have lost 5 lbs since the end of June. I also drink 2 litres of water a day, and walk. The sweet cravings will pass.
I may be able to go to the Mall and not think about hopping into the liquour store, but that little red guy on my shoulder is still whispering in my ear, trying to talk me into having a glass of wine. I am still very weak, determined, but weak, so I stay away from all temptation

Boozer-Isn't it amazing how much more we drink when we try to moderate. Don't beat yourself, we all have to take a step back. That way we get a good look at ourselves and decide to change our ways. Coming back to the nest actually takes more courage than raising that glass or bottle. Welcome back:welcome:

Karen-Sounds to me tlike that Dr should be fed to the fish. He has no business giving medical advice. Personally, I no nothing about the meds, but you will get good suggestions here in the nest.
The first time I quit however, I put myself into a detox center for two weeks. I was not nearly as bad as most of them, but there was lost of support. After that I have come to the nest. It is true, your husband has to want to stop, it will not be easy. He is very lucky to have your support, that is a huge part. Good luck with the meds, and hope to see more post from you on how your husband is doing. Maybe he will read with you and post himself.

Butter-27 days, I can hardly wait. I am almost half way there.
I have wondered about not-alcoholic drinks, but the taste would scare me. I stick to water, iced tea, and tonic water. When I did drink, I would have gin and tonic water in the summer, and quite often simply have tonic water, so having it does not bother me or make me feel like I am cheating. Funny, when I think of the last few bottles of wine I had, I really did not like the taste, but after a few I no longer could taste it.

Mick-You sound so strong and determined. I love the long horn. There are a couple of farms from London to Goderich Ontario. These farms are at least 2 hours apart by driving. I used to stop my car just to watch them. It is so true, why waste such a beautiful peaceful view.:h

[windy]

Newbies Nest

Hey Litre2,

Great post and you sound great. I love to feel the wind on my face too and being outside is a great place to be. Do you mean Dover, Delaware? I have always wanted to go there, but have not done it yet.

Congratulations on you sobriety and keep it going.

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

Windy-I want to grow up and be just like you. I committed to 30 days, but deep down I have told myself this will be a life long commitment. Maybe once my 30 days are up, I will commit to another 30. Like you, I do not go back on my word. I have already done a few things for myself, like getting my nails done professionally, and I bought myself an ID braclet, never had one. When I quit smoking, I bought myself a coat and boots, I was not having anyone tell me I told you you could not do it. Just like here in the nest, I do not want to disappoint all my friends or myself.
A small part of me says, but wait "You will be able to have a drink when you go out, just never never have any at home" That little red guy on my should is a real pain. I can hardly wait when the day comes I can brush him off and never let him back on. I like the little white guy on the other shoulder for he keeps telling me to ignore MR RED, I am better than that. MR WHITE gives me encouragement and strength.

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

Windy- Port Dover Ontario Canada, it is a small town in the winter, but every Friday 13th, bikers come from all over regardless of the weather. I have a friend, he is like my adopted brother, have know him all my life. He has electric gloves, vest, all kinds of things to ride when the weather is cold.

[windy]

Newbies Nest

Oh...that little red shit head on your shoulder has been sitting on mine too. That is what I heard on vacation -- just having one when we are out to dinner (but not at home). You will make the rules and I can almost guarantee you that you will break them. (Not you...but people making mod rules in general) Good luck with your journey. You sound very smart to me. Just listen to your true voice and not that creepy, red thing.

Also, I am going to look up Port Dover, Ontario. I think it is close to me.

[Gdog]

Newbies Nest

Morning all. I am reporting in on my progress. My goal was three days this week, and made that (yippee). Next week is 4 days, then 5, then start a 30 day on July 31st. I feel very committed to this plan. In no way am I suggesting moderation, only baby steps. Certainly I believe the only real place for me is AF. Last night the wife and I had some wine, and it was not enjoyable, and as could be predicted my consumption level was heavy. Woke up wishing I had just kept going and could post day 4 was in the bag. I sure hope no one thinks this is some brilliant way towards AF, but maybe it is MWO.
Feel free to shred all of that logic if you want.

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Day 2 and feeling better. Day 1 always suck so bad, doesn't it? So full of anxiety and shame. I think I broke out crying at least five times yesterday. The bad thing with Day 1s is that you feel so bad, you always think that having one or two would just get the edge off and help you make it through the day. Well, you know what happens when you fall for that - you end up drinking way too much and waking up the next day the same as you were the day before, or even worse. They cycle continues.

The key is to break the cycle!

Dest and Litre - THANK you loads for holding on to that rope. I have climbed a little further out of the well, but I've got a ways to go, so don't let go yet! The beast is sleeping right now, but as soon as he notices that I'm climbing up, he will grab hold of my feet and start pulling me back down. I've got to be strong and keep climbing up!

Mick - you asked about my furry ones. I have two dogs, a cat, and two guinea pigs. My dogs have been fighting, so I need to find the puppy a new home. Right now, I'm keeping them separated, which means one of them is always outside or in a crate. It's been extremely stressful and also one of the biggest excuses I've had lately for drinking.

No more excuses!

Windy, Litre, Butterbean, Dest, etc. - keep up the good work. Every time you post a success, it inspires me (and many others, I'm sure!).

Gdog - I think your plan sounds reasonable. We all have our ways to stop this madness, and if that works for you, go for it!! You already made it three days, so you can just keep building on that!

Anyway, I'm working from home this morning, and then driving into work this afternoon. I can only work half days at work right now since I always have a dog locked up in the house. I was going to work at home this afternoon (instead of this morning), but then I started thinking about the temptation to go have a drink with the afternoon crew at the bar. This work arrangement should help me avoid that.

Have a great Friday everyone!

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

First, Windy, I was wrong with the amount of people expected at Port Dover, it is to be 200,000 people, not a mere 100,000. I believe the town is off Lake Simcoe, so you are a fellow Ontarian, yea.
I actually like your description of MR RED, that little red shit head, I could not have said it better, thanks

GDog, only you can make or break the rules. Again for me, I could not do what you are doing, I wish you all the luck. It takes courage and determination. Maybe waking up (WISHING) is your subconscious telling you that moderation is not for you. To me, if I were to moderate, it would be one or two drinks, maybe a couple times a month. Still not sure if I want to do that, or if I could.

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

Rooni, Day 2, good for you. On my Day 1's, I used to stay in bed with a book and freeze. I was always so cold, and tired. You will climb out of that well, if that beast grabs your foot, kick the shit of it. Bye the way, I saw Dest hanging on the rope, and jumped in before she knew it. That is why we are all here, the help each other, I guess we are more like family, we stick together and support one another when the going get tough. You what they say after that, (When the going get tough, the tough gets going) You are one on the tough ones.

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Good morning peeps and Happy Friday the 13th! I am so glad to see everyone helping me hang onto the rope for Rooni...together we can do this! There is strength in numbers!

Gdog...congrats on making 3 days AF. Always remember that there is no right way or wrong way to achieve becoming AF...you have to do what works for you! I have tried sooooo many different ways every time I have fallen just trying to find one that will work. So far I am on day 14 AF and hanging tough! Good luck!

Litre....that damn angel and devil are on my shoulders too. :teeter: I have found that duct tape works pretty well when you put it over the devils friggin mouth! Ha!

Hi Mick...it sounds like you live in a wonderful and beautiful place. Enjoy every moment of it and keep up the good work. You are doing great! :rays:

Windy....I love it when you call it "the little red shit" LMAO :devil: Keep on keeping on!

Rooni....congrats on making it to day 2.....you CAN do this. What a wonderful and beautiful person you are for taking such good care of your pups..I wish you the best of luck in finding the little pup a home! Keep smiling girl! :l

[DfromCT]

Newbies Nest

Hi, All. Just checking in with y'all...

I got my first real cravings yesterday. I was having a bad day at work and I was thinking how easy it would be to quit at 3:30, play golf on the computer and have about a dozen Heinekens. I didn't let the thoughts last long, though, came to the forums and did some reading, and made it to today, day 6! I'm not going to drink today. Started by playing 9 holes at 6:24, carrying my own bag for the excersize.

The meds (I'm on Naltrexone) and vitamins/herbs really help. It was wierd, I had zero appetite Saturday when I started them (and barely drank by my standards) through Monday afternoon, the middle of day 2. I've lost some weight, which is good, but now I really enjoy eating! Fruits, especially cherries and strawberries have never tasted so good. I just took my mid-moring pills (I hate taking pills, they make me gag!) and will chase them with some of each.

I need to get to work, so I"ll keep this short. Have a great Friday the 13th everyone and TGIFF!