Newbies Nest

[pixie]

Newbies Nest

Hi All

Hope everyone had a great weekend. Just stopped in for a quick hello. So many people here in the nest!

Has Byrd been around lately?

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

Kradle123;1350393 wrote: Monique!!
That is so great 7 states. Which ones? Need to live vicariously theses days! And of course the 69 days is magnificent. SO PROUD AND INSPIRATIONAL.

I have 2 more days to 30 - 48 hours....

Congratualtions on an AF Vacation And having a good time as well! :H
:h:l

Hi Kradle - You're closing in on a major hard-won milestone - you can go the distance! And for me, the 2nd 30 days went by in a flash compared to those first 30.

I was in Idaho, Montana, Utah, Nevada, California, Oregon, and Washington. Mostly family visits and then 2-lane hwy excursions at a leisurely pace.

Thanks for asking! I don't know about inspirational, I'm just staying the course best I can and definitely still have the occasion desire for a glass of cool chardonnay during these hot days.

The trip made me think about road trips where I was ducking into gas stations, buying the cardboard traveler sizes of wine, chugging some in the restroom and then pouring the remainder into my (red metal) water bottle. As someone said recently when I was skimming through posts, it really is a lot of work to keep alcohol with you virtually 24/7. I'm so glad I didn't have to do that this trip - and I didn't piss any one off (that I'm aware of!) And I remember all of it!

"oh, what a long strange trip it's been."

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Hey Nesties!

Goodness, so much going on in the Nest when you step away for a couple of days (weekend here) so forgive me for not commenting on everyone's news individually but I've been reading along and am happy to hear about everyone's progress and WELCOME to the newcomers!

Here I am on Day 15! Halfway through Boot Camp. The weekend presented some challenges. Friday night I was feeling down and sorry for myself and desperately wanting a drink. No, not "a" drink - I wanted to get shit-faced, frankly. But I thought it all through - how much worse I'd ultimately feel - and instead made soup, watched some trashy TV, had a bath and went to bed early. As a result, instead of waking up feeling hungover and angry at myself I woke up feeling fine and had a lovely AF weekend. Good lesson.

I realized that this time - around two weeks - is usually when my attempts fail. I start to feel better and I forget why I'm doing this and start thinking I'm overreacting, I'm not that bad etc. I found those thoughts creeping in this weekend for sure and had to actively fight them, so I'm aware this week I need to be extra careful and really reminding myself why it is important. On which note, some of you might also like this:

What are the Benefits of Quitting Drinking and Making it to 30 Days Sober?

My other news is that I went to my first group on Friday, a SMART group, which was a huge step for me and scary. To be honest, I don't think it - that particular group - was necessarily good for me. The people were, well, there's no nice way to say this, just so much more down and out than me, so … well, rough. From what was said I think most of them were court ordered to be there. I felt and feel like a snob saying this and I had to actively remind myself that the only difference - as far as addiction goes - between them and me is my good luck in being born white, middle class and educated and not being quite as far down the path as some of them (which is perhaps largely due to the above).

Still, having said that, being surrounded by guys talking about drinking 3-4 litres a day and obvious junkies who seemed almost brain damaged by their drug/alcohol use is dangerous for me I think in the sense that it might make it too easy to start thinking "Oh I'm not that bad" "It's ridiculous I'm here" "I'm not like these people" etc.

Good news though is that I broke through my fear of going to a meeting. It wasn't ideal but I did it! So, I've decided to keep pushing on and go to a meeting a week - different meetings, not that one, both AA and SMART around town and see if I can find a group that feels like more of a fit. I think there's something powerful in being in a room with other addicts. While in many ways I couldn't relate to these people, in some ways I could. Addiction is the great leveler.

I still am so resistant to AA but maybe I can find a group with enough atheists like me to feel comfortable. Ha. So much about AA turns me off but I still think some real life support from people in the same place is probably worth pursuing. I ordered Nan Robertson's book 'Getting Better', which is a history of AA. Should be interesting and maybe it'll help me see it in a different life. For now, I get put off by the God aspects and powerless stuff. And yes, I know your 'higher power' doesn't have to be God but still… Any thoughts anyone?

Roonie, Thanks for asking after me I was just off enjoying the weekend and not on the computer much. I did keep up with reading the Nest on the iPad but I find it hard to type at length on it still.

But yes, DEST - where are you? Also, Fin?

Roon, glad you're back and on Day 3. Being a hermit is fine while you need it. And many people take many attempts to get to 30 days. Just keep working on your motivation. WHY is this important for you to do?

DfromCT - YAY on week one! That is a great milestone to pass. Keep going - I promise you that at two weeks is when you'll really begin to feel the benefits

Butterbean, you are doing so great! That is terrific re your AF holiday. VERY hard to do, I know, you must feel so proud and strong for it.

Litre, likewise, well done on two weeks - we're halfway there to 30!

Kradle, I'm so excited, thrilled and proud that you are almost at Day 30! Keep it going. You are doing tremendously. I hope you are planning a special treat for yourself at 30 days?

Monique, nice to see you back too! And congrats on your AF holiday too. When you say 'a 12-step inspired program' - I'd love to hear more. Have you done AA in the past? If so, how did you find it?

Keep it going Boot Campers and Nesters!!

Lilly

[ITGeekChick]

Newbies Nest

Hey everyone!

I have now made it to day 21. This has been a challenging week. I'm incredibly tired, have had headaches several days in a row, and I'm an emotional mess. Is this normal? Wednesday I had a couple of end users rub me the wrong way, so I sent a semi-nasty email telling them I don't read minds and can't fix their computer problems if they don't tell me about them, and took the rest of the afternoon off. I *really* wanted a drink (or several) that day. I think I'm going to have to go way beyond 30 days. Right now, I know if I have a single drink, I will not stop until I'm incoherent.

Hope you are all doing well!

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Hey IT,

Hang in there and think of it all as helping you learn more about what your triggers are - eg. work being stressful, irritation etc. It's great that you realized you couldn't just have 'one' drink and didn't go there. You'd only feel worse now if you had.

You are doing great. Three weeks is great. Just focus on 30 days for now and when you get there you can come here and celebrate (whoo!) and make a decision where you want to go next.

I have DEFINITELY read that mood swings can be common in early sobriety. I'm sure the headaches are part of it too. Take it easy when you can and take heart - this too shall pass. :l

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

I can give you a high five and a hell yeah to the mood swings IT!!:H It was either that, or immediate menopause on quitting AL, for me. Maybe a little of both, lol. I congratulate you on resisting drinking. Drinking when angry is a recipe for disaster.

My little overnight trip was a lot of fun. Bf and I connected in a more intimate way than we do with the t.v. and internet distractions we have at home. Plus, it was an absolutely lovely little cabin. Even though there was no phone reception, no t.v. and definitely no wi-fi, it did have central air conditioning and modern appliances, lol. We grilled steaks on the provided, old-timey permanant standing grill, and I baked potatoes in the oven. It was delicious. We were in bed by 10:30...unfortunately we are used to a larger bed, so that was the only drawback, but not nearly enough to keep us from wanting to go back! Loved the little back porch with rocking chairs...we brought a radio and listened to music and danced. Enjoyed our little get-away.

Hope everyone is having a good Sunday/Monday.

[ITGeekChick]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for the support, LillyE.

I'd love to take credit for my strong will and good choices, but I kind of feel like I'm cheating by taking the Antabuse. Every morning I take the pill and know I can't drink for 2 weeks. In the evenings, I catch myself thinking "Just don't take it tomorrow, and in two weeks, you can drink." Luckily in the mornings, after waking up nice and refreshed and not hungover, that's when my motivation is highest and I make myself take the pill.

I read the link you posted (thanks for posting so many helpful links!), and I agree that it's hard to say "I'm never going to drink again." But, to recover, I think that is going to have to be a step that I take. I am one of those people who doesn't seem to have an "off" switch when it comes to alcohol. When I drink, I am seeking oblivion. So, I'm just taking it in two-week chunks. I am not going to drink for at least two weeks.

I've been reading up on supplements to combat the tiredness and mood swings. Why does alcohol recovery have to be so much like PMS?? LOL

Thanks again for the support! :l

[ITGeekChick]

Newbies Nest

LG your trip sounds like it was a great time! I hear ya on the large bed, I'm spoiled by my king sized bed.

Have a great week!

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Hi ItG.

I am sooooo with you on the drink now die tomorrow thoughts. The stress for me the last 24 has been deep sea pressure. 2 days to go till thirty. Gong to make it through.

LG: Ditto on your trip and the bed... :H I'm totally spoiled

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

I realized that this time - around two weeks - is usually when my attempts fail. I start to feel better and I forget why I'm doing this and start thinking I'm overreacting, I'm not that bad etc. I found those thoughts creeping in this weekend for sure and had to actively fight them, so I'm aware this week I need to be extra careful and really reminding myself why it is important. On which note, some of you might also like this:

What are the Benefits of Quitting Drinking and Making it to 30 Days Sober?

Lily, thanks for sharing this link. I found it interesting, and can agree with everything that was written. I am so thankful that I took the necessary steps to go a full 39 days, and then 47 days AF. It truly did change my way of thinking, and I vow to never go back to those dark, AL-infused days.

LG

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

IT, don't feel like you're 'cheating' by taking the Antabuse. If anything you're making a really solid commitment to not drinking by taking it. I completely hear you re the lack of an "off" switch and therefore knowing you can't drink. That's where I'm at too but it's STILL hard to make that full commitment to not drinking isn't it? I think biting it off in two-week chunks is a great idea!

I'd love to hear anything anyone learns about supplements that are good for combatting withdrawal and also for repairing the damage done by alcohol abuse. I have read that Vitamin C, B complex and Zinc are typically used in rehab detoxes. I am taking those plus fish oil tablets. It can't hurt, right?

Library, sounds like you had a really lovely weekend away with your BF. How lovely And, I agree, I reckon anyone whose made it here could probably benefit from the clarity of 30 days, no matter where they go after that. I like your sig, btw.

[finallydone]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone! It's been a busy summer so far of working all time and fishing. Just wanted to say hi to all my friends in the newbie crew!!

[TexasAg]

Newbies Nest

Don't know about withdrawal but I've taken Full Spectrum Kudzu - Anti Alchohol Support by Planetary Herbals. They claim to help the liver but I found they helped a lot with the cravings.

[DfromCT]

Newbies Nest

Good morning, Nesters!

Day 9 for me today, and very excited to get to double digits. Definitely haven't gone this long AF since I was a teenager, probalby 15 or so! ITChick, I understand completely your fears of having one drink lead to drinking into oblivion, I'm really scared of the same. I know the couple of times I felt cravings that there's no way in hell I'd stop at one or two. This is coming from a guy that a week ago was fighting to prove that moderation is the only route I'd consider after I reach my 30 day goal. Now I'm pretty sure I'm going to go beyond 30 days. Still considering that glass of wine in the hospital with my wife after our twins are born (they give you a REALLY nice meal the last night she's in the hospital, which if all goes as planned should be around day 40 for me) but also skeptical that I'll be able to stop with the wine, and won't go overboard between the hospital and home at some bar.

I have the first appt with my doctor this evening at 5:30. I'm sure when he gave me the Naltrexone script he didn't think I was going to start taking it and stop drinking, as he told me "you'll need to come in every week and see me your first few weeks not drinking." Then he told the receptionist to make my next appointment in three weeks! Yes, I didn't start taking it for almost a week, and intentionally scheduled my appointment early, but I was waiting for the MWO starter kit extreme to get here so I'd have more than the one anti-craving med.

Lily, speaking of that starter kit, I'm taking most of what was sent, save the Magnesium Citrate. I cannot isolate what is really helping and what's not, but the whole program seems to be working. Funny thing, I was following the dosing chart from the MWO book, but when I went to re-load my 7x4 pill box on Saturday, I found the updated chart, which is vastly different! The originial "recipe" varies in when you're taking the different vitamins and supplements, with a whole lot earlier in the day. That's a little tough for me, as I hate taking the big pills, especially early in the morning before I've eaten anything. I do know that the Kudzu in particular helps the cravings, and have read that the B vitamins and L-Glutamine help as well. Funny thing is the original formula called for the Calms Forte starting with the lunch dose, and the revised has it after dinner and at bed time.

I'm still very tired at the end of the day, but not as bad as when I was taking the CF a lot earlier. I think the tiredness is a combination of withdrawl symptoms and the meds/vits/supplements. Not about to stop them, though to find out!

LG, sounds like you had a great get away, AF no less! Way to go.

GoDog, how did the move work out?

Hope everyone is doing well. I'm off to get ready for work, where I'll update the "email blog" I'm sending to my friends and family that are part of my email support group. Truth be told, I get more from my new MWO friends here on the forums than people I've known in some cases my whole life!

Thanks to all, and keep up the good work.

Dave

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

It was sometime through the nite that I realized I am 1/2 way through my first major goal. I know going 7 days is a good step, but 3 weeks is such a huge one. Sure I have the odd urge, but it is so short lived that most of the time I do not even acknowlege it. I take that as a good sign. Being AF I am no longer as emotinal as I was, I am edgy still, but when my little dog looks at me when I say a word I should not, I feel compelled to apologize to her. Lord knows if she understands my words, but she does understand my tone. I adopted her from Idaho 4 years ago, and I swear her past owners did not speak English, she still has troubles with stay, stop, don't. But she is a cute as a button, unfortunately sometimes as dumb as a rock. But I am told that is a Spaniel for you.

Monique- 69 days wow such great work. As Kradle said congrats on an AF vacation and enjoying yourself without. I am passing up my family reunion this year for a few reasons. One is everyone will be drinking, my sister and brother both drink very heavy, my other two brothers, drink but not to extensive. The second, since I moved there is no one to offer me a ride. My sister is not speaking to me, she prides herself on being a BITCH, too bad, I have tried since March to make ammends with her to no avail. Both my sister and younger brother live one hour away, then the trip to my older brothers is another 3, so that would be a 4 hour trip. So I am just as happy to stay home, disappointed I will not see my brother who is battling cancer, but we talk regularily.

Boozer- Sorry to hear you crashed. Keep on going, we have all crashed from time to time

Rooni-Sounds to me, you have climbed out of that well and are on your way to beating that beast. Hope you are enjoying the sunshine, freedom and most of all the control you now have over your actions. Well done.

Lilly- I went to AA 3 years ago when I put myself into detox. While I was there I could not understand why I did not go through the horror of withdrawals I was told I would. Unfortunately my blood level was messed up by my inhalers. It is a nasty story and I will not bore you. But back to AA. There were alot of really nice people, had I stayed in Guelph, Ontario I would have continued. Going back to the small resort town of Bayfield I was not going to see people I knew, same as when I moved to Grand Bend Ontario, another tourist town. Very small, I would not go to work and know that the people I cash out were going to the same meetings I was. I know that is stupid and selfcentered, but I was embarrassed. There was a guy however who came only for coffee and donuts/cookies and would leave before the meetings started. I am not what you would call a strong believer, but I do consider myself a Christian, as how I try to live my life. I did not find the meetings to be overly aimed at God, either that or I have forgotton. Sounds like the Smart groups are rather scarey, sure glad they have not made it to Ontario yet, but will keep my eyes and ears open and stay away.

Geek-21 days, good job. I have also felt the urge to drink when I am stressed, but for me it is short lived. I have also had the headaches, but mine were in the early stages of being AF, maybe your headaches are stress related. It is hard to say, we all react so differently.

LG- What a romantic weekend, so happy for you

Finally- Hello, you deserve a medal when you get to your 90 days. WOW

Texas- Hello to you also