Newbies Nest

[Yogamom]

Newbies Nest

Rooni, you hit the nail on the head. Who would choose that?? At least you had your clothes on!!!!

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Yogamom;1350746 wrote: Rooni, you hit the nail on the head. Who would choose that?? At least you had your clothes on!!!!

The pathetic thing is that the second scenario has happened to me on a number of occasions. Inevitably I would end up at the bar as soon as it opened for a hair of the dog. That's the only way I could deal with the anxiety, guilt, and shame. Sundays were the worst because the bars don't open until noon. Otherwise I would be at the breakfast place down the street sitting at the bar drinking my mimosas. Then of course one drink would lead to mulitple, and the very same thing would happen the following day - that evil cycle.

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Yogamom;1350615 wrote: Lolab, thank you for your story. I think i could moderate, it is so tempting. But, is it worth it?

I was so glad last night that i didnt give in. My meeting ran late and on the way home dh texted me that he was also on his way home. What? He was supposed to be away over night. In the past i would still have rushed home and downed a few glasses and then brushed teeth, chewed gum, etc and hopped in bed. But last night i waited up and was able to actually give him a kiss hello without any paranioa. And i feel great this a.m. Too. And we had lots of rain last night and things are just beautiful this morning. Thank you all for being here.

Were you drinking a lot when your dh wasn't around? I guess I don't understand why you would run home and drink, then go to bed and pretend to be asleep. Or are you afraid of your dh? Forgive me, I just didn't understand.

Lg

[Cocoflo]

Newbies Nest

Struggling through 1st day.

Thank you to everyone for sharing. I've almost made it through day one and you're posts help me feel so much less alone.

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Hi Coco....welcome to the nest! You have made a great first step by coming on here and reading/posting. The support and encouragement that you will find here is amazing! It is nice to know that there is a place you can come to where you don't feel so alone. We have all been there, done that and have been on day 1 many, many times. Stay strong and keep posting!

[Yogamom]

Newbies Nest

Hi Coco. Welcome!

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Hi kids,

Wow, so much to comment on! So many great posts and thoughts. Having a frustrating day. Family being crazy - taxes - work issues. Normally all this would lead me to buy wine tonight to blot it all out but I won't. I will instead take time to take a big long walk in the park and sun and burn off some frustration and calories. I'm trying to become more aware of my triggers and how I use booze to deal with emotions and find new and healthier ways.

Dave, I would like to suggest that you decide to take the wine OFF the table that day. Make the decision now that you will not have it no matter what. Not just because it might trigger you into a slide - though that in itself is a great reason - but for two other reasons. Firstly, I worry your focus is going to be on that wine - either having it and will you have more or not or will I/won't I have it to begin with if you leave deciding until that moment. It would be a real shame for THAT to be the focus instead of the birth of your two beautiful children. Secondly, by having that wine when they're born you're further implanting the idea in your subconscious that alcohol is essential to celebration - it will be tied to this momentous event! (Plus, whoever said you will need your strength and energy the first few weeks home with twins is so right.) Why don't you aim for a goal of 45 days, so the day you could have a wine if you choose is not a significant day - so you don't fool yourself into thinking that it's all about having this one "special" glass of wine. That glass of wine is really no different than any other. If you still really want it on day 45, have it. But have it because you've chosen to have one insignificant glass of wine - not because it's about celebrating the birth of your children.

It's sad, really, that a stupid overpriced toxin is so tied up with celebration. I mean, the birth of a child - such an innocent, lovely, life giving thing. Why do we need to celebrate this by poisoning ourselves, seriously? Having said that, I still have the same problem myself - associating booze so strongly with celebration and feeling deprived without - and I totally relate to those who have said they fear they are boring without booze. This is one of my biggest hurdles of all - that I, and life, are "boring" without that celebratory, fun, life giving booze. Mad how much we've all been brainwashed isn't it?

Ok, and I just read Kradle's post after I wrote the above and I think that seems like excellent advice from one who knows.

And now you've gotten way more advice than you asked for and I've rambled on far more than I meant to - as always!

Roonie, loved it! Think we could ALL write out our own two scenarios posts now and in every case the first will be vastly better! I'm hoping to have my own Sunday morning. I have to go to a birthday party karaoke night on Saturday and I'm dreading it as I know people will be getting slaughtered. The birthday girl is a huge drinker. And, let's face it, karaoke is NOT FUN when you are sober. I will NOT drink - I hope I don't get too hassled for that though suspect I will - but I know it will be painful sober and I'll feel boring, despite the fact everyone else will no doubt be making total tits of themselves. But I shall hold onto the morning-after scenario?

Coco! :welcome: Tell us more about you

[Didz]

Newbies Nest

Hey coco, welcome!

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Good morning! Just a quick hello before I run off to get dressed for work. I have 30 minutes, lol. Good thoughts and postings from all.

Check back later.

LG

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Good morning peeps!!!! Just flying in to say Hi before I head into the shower and start my day. The ever familiar sound of my coffee maker grinding the beans for my morning coffee is such a welcomed sound. It's kind of like having my own butler...ha...although it only works when you are sober and remember to set the timer the night prior! Ha!

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

One thing I really have to learn is not to turn to the bottle in trying times. I was just informed late yesterday afternoon that I need to look for a new job. I'm not being laid off, but it will come, if I don't find something soon. I'm applying for another job in the same company today. Wish me luck, and also wish me strength not to drink my way through this stressful time.

I admit, I did have a couple of glasses of wine last night when I found out, but fortunately I didn't get smashed. I really wish I hadn't of done that, but I did. :-(

[windy]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Coco and PLEASE check in to share more about yourself and let us know how you are getting along with Day 2.

Dave, Blowing hot air....Ha ha ha. ..... AT YOU. How was the DR's appt?

Hi Lola, Loved your post and your reflection. I could really relate to finally accepting your new self and your new lifestyle. Good for you!! We are so hardwired one way and now we are trying to rewire our thinking. It is taking some time for me, but I feel like I am getting closer every day. With all the brainwashing that has been done over the years, it is going to take some time to rewire all that messed up thinking. We are more fun, smarter, calmer and better parents sober, there is no denying that! Why did we think we would be better with booze? I will probably never figure that out, other than I was brainwashed.

Everyone else --- Have a marvelous day.

Attitude is everything!!

[DfromCT]

Newbies Nest

Good morning, nesters. Today is Day 10 for me, in what started as a 30 day goal! I'm PSYCHED to make it to double digits, and committed to not drinking TODAY. :bananacomputer:

For those of you that have given me advise as to the glass of wine I've been talking about having on my wife's last night in the hospital after she delivers my twins (four days after their birth,) thanks for your heartfelt advise. I will take it all into consideration. I do want to point out that at some time I am going to have a drink and try my hand at moderation. That's why I started this journey, that's why this site exists, that's why I'm here in the first place. :teeter:

I know the Nest has become a place where abstinence is preferred to moderation, but let's get real here: Jewels started her journey, wrote the book and started this web site with ZERO intention of going the route of abstinence. She didn't want to become alcohol free, and has not, to my knowledge, done so. She, and millions of others, have successfully gained control of the wrath of alcohol. Will I be able to do so? That remains to be seen. But I am very much puzzled by the domination of those that feel there's no middle ground between abstinence and drinking to oblivion. Projecting your failure to moderate on everyone else that is trying to do so really goes against the grain of the founding initiative of MWO. While I appreciate your heartfelt advise, and am more apt to string together a lot more than 30 days as a result, from my soapbox it seems that you're convinced that there's no such thing as moderation, and you have to scream that belief whenever you can to reassure yourselves you've made the only decision that works. :soapbox:

Again, I appreciate the advise and DO take it under consideration. I'm just shocked that so many can dominate a site that was founded on the belief that there's hope for those of us that want to moderate.

That out of the way, I want to congratulate Dest on making it past 17 days...GO GIRL and KEEP GOING!
GDog, hope you're getting settled in following your move.
Lilly...please don't feel attacked by this post, I have to get that off my chest, and DO listen to all. Kradle knows how I feel as I wrote to her privately.

Everyone else that I haven't mentioned, please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. GOOD LUCK everybody and have a great AF Tuesday. Today I will not drink, and will celebrate 10 days tonight! :danthin:

(If you didn't guess, I found the advanced smiley listing this morning!)

[Didz]

Newbies Nest

Hey Rooniferd,
Crappy news about the job. Wishing you strength- your posts have given me strength.

[windy]

Newbies Nest

Dave,

I am really sorry if I made your feel like I did not support your effort. I DO and I have confidence you can succeed at moderation. The fact that you have decided to take this journey at all, makes it successful already. I also believe some people can moderate successfully..And sometimes I could. It's just that after sooo many years on this journey, I feel I do better abstaining, but I do respect those who choose other directions immensely. Good job on 10 days. Keep it up!!