Newbies Nest

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

Well today, I found out why the man in my life has been so stand-offish. He finally got the balls to tell me he found someone else, but considers us friends. What a crock of shit. My first instinct was to through it all away. I jumped on my e-bike to return some movies to him, but the battery was dead, so I walked, boy I would not advise that kind of walking. I tripped over an uneven sidewalk, went down hard. Skinned my knee bad, and a couple of elderly Italians helped me out, which started the water works.
Well I left David a message telling him, he is a waste of human flesh, and he was not a real man, for a real man would not start a relationship without ending another. A real man would not have sex with a woman who is in love with him and then go to another. Boy if this does not make me break, nothing will. I have never felt so utterly humiliated than I feel right now. I moved to London Ontario, a few blocks from him on his suggestion to be closer to him, he always told me I was beautiful and I was his girl. He had no idea love could be like this. God I hope he gets struck by lightening. Anyway thanks for reading my vent. I am off, I think the battery on my ebike is pooched, so there goes two hundred dollars. Here I was trying to be a better person, and I get totally dumped on. Nesters give me strength not to cave. Eleta

[Mick]

Newbies Nest

Hi Litre,
just read your post..real nice guy he is, but dont give in to it...youve done well .Even if you got hammered now the pissed off feeling would be there tomorrow plus a sore head plus less money ..and start again time..look at it in simple terms..put the money towards a new battery.I know its easy for me to type it up and you go through it but go for it.. show him that he is the loser not you

Mick

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Eleta,
I feel for you, I really, really do. I went through a horrible break up a few years ago, I really thought it would be the end of me. His name was David also... He and I were taking a "break" and he married someone else during our break. I was dumbfounded. Not only did he marry someone else, he wanted to continue his relationship with me, claiming his marriage was a huge mistake. Well, I'll leave out all the grisly details, but lets just say it was hell on earth for me for years. Don't let yourself go through what I did. You are right, your David is not a REAL man and he does not deserve you. Let him go, as hard as it may be. A REAL man would never do what either of our ex's did to us. They are spineless pieces of shit that don't deserve us. Please don't drag it out for years like I did...I totally regret all the wasted time, energy and tears I wasted on him. I'm wishing you strength and peace.
xoxo
K9

[DfromCT]

Newbies Nest

Litre, that David didn't deserve you. He really didn't, and you deserve better than him. Don't let that P.O.S. be the reason for a breakdown, take your ebike to somewhere nice, let your emotions flow and be in them, then resolve to move on and find a better man. One worthy of your love. You need to go through the pain and grieve the end of the relationship, but it sounds like you are clearly the better person. Let your light shine when you're ready to and you'll attract the love of a man that deserves it more than that schmuck.

As Mick said, if you succumb to the desire to drink your feelings away, they'll still be there tomorrow, and you'll feel like crap, have to start back at day 1, and run the risk of going back to a life you don't want. We'll still be here for you either way, but think of how much better you'll feel waking up in the morning tomorrow having powerfully NOT let that schmuck be a reason to drink.

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Mick K9 and Dfrom, your words mean alot to me, I will give it my best, right now I no longer feel like tieing one on. I feel sick enough without a hangover, but the day is still young, I need to keep busy and erase that POS from my memory. I truely hope his ex-wife's prediction comes true, he will die alone and broke. Maybe in time I will not feel so vengeful, we were just talking last week about how he feels towards women because of the ex, what a pile of horse/cow and pig shit combined. Oh well I have to walk to the bank to get some money for the new battery, the guy is coming to my place to fix it, so there are good people out there, excluding my friends here in the nest. Thanks again, your support really helps me, though I am typing through tears, but this too shall pass.

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters

Kradle, huge congrats on your 30 days, that is fantastic, has anyone awarded you that hat yet!? I would if I knew what to do.

Dave, into the double digits now - that's great.

Litre, so sorry to hear your news, but you deserve better, don't drink over this. Keep posting.

Daya, sorry to hear about your conference but you are back with us now and I'm glad your liver results were ok.

Wicked Mom, thanks for dropping in, I loved your post and found it very motivating.

Hi, Mick, Lilly, K9 and anyone else I've overlooked who is around today. Must go and get the kids tea, have just got in from work. Will look in again later.

Day 145 AF

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

I want to respond to everyone, so I'm using the quick reply (so I can scroll up and remember who's who, lol).

First of all, Litre, I am very sorry to hear what happened with your bf. I can guess how devastated you must feel. There's no words to make it better for you, but I am praying for strength for you to get through this sober and with a clear head. We are here for you. (((hugs)))

Wickedmom, thank you for your kind words. It's good to see you here posting, and a big congrats on your ten months. That's huge!! I hope you keep coming back and filling us in on how you're doing. It sounds like you're doing great!

Kradle!!! Witwoooooooooooooo!!!! You go Girl!!! 30 days is so freaking awesome!!!:kudos::crazymonkey::woot:nfire:

D, I had a lot of the same feelings you do. I think they are valid. Some of us have real plans to moderate, and we should be able to explore that. I don't know about you, but I came here for support not dictatorship, lol. No offense, you guys!

Gosh, I had to go to advanced settings to give Kradle the kudos she deserves, and now I can't remember who wrote what! LMAO, guess I'm getting old. Hell.

Hi K9, Lily, Dest and all you lovely Nesters!!eace:

LG

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

Well Nesters, you will be proud of me, I walked to the bank for the money for the new battery, and had to pass the liquor store, not once, not twice, but three times. And pass it I did. There is not a man alive who can take me down, I may stumble, I may cry but Damn IT no asshole is getting the better of me. I decided a few weeks ago I was going to make a better life for myself AF, and that I will do.

Thanks Sausage and LG and all the other nesters who are supporting me right now. I think I am going to be okay.I am still mad as Hell, still wish him all the worst. For me however, I want all the best and all of you here in the nest are making sure that happens. Now when I cry, they are tears of gratitude. Thanks

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Kradle...it is with great pride that I bestow your hat!! :bday2: It was hard earned...but doesn't that make it all the better! So proud of you.

Litre....if you drink...he wins. Bastards like that get theirs in the end...don't drink no matter what and no matter who.

Library Girl...offense taken. Sorry you think this is a dictatorship. It is a place for support...support from people who have walked the walk and talked the talk. Not sure if you've noticed (I doubt it) but the dictators have been driven out, so mission accomplished. Good luck in your journey.

Byrdie

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

hi lovely nesters!! i haven't been posting much, but i'm reading everything each day.
and i have to give a huge CONGRATS to KRADLE!!!! way to go on 30 days. you've worked hard and offer so much support to others in this nest. --

Wicked mom, i always love it when you sign on and let us know how you are. i always feel so happy to hear how far you've come; to hear how you're now able to be so present for your kid(s)--that has been my main reason for wanting to be sober. i know for a fact that i don't want to regret missing childhood. i've already missed some (blackouts at the table, i know too well--passing out during story time, the super short temper) and i so look forward to getting it all right. children are so forgiving, aren't they? that's what breaks my heart the most. the other day my 10 year old girl looked at me and said, "mama, i think you're the perfect woman." i want to live up to that. please continue to let us know how you are.

Litre, i'm so sorry to hear about that guy treating you so poorly. i agree with the above. someone who knows how to respect another human being does NOT do that. please don't let it get the best of you. you are your strongest when you are sober--you know that. sober you can handle anything. you are a super strong, sensitive and intelligent woman--it's obvious from your posts. just let yourself ask for and be helped!! hang in there, girl!!
LC

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

hi lovely nesters!! i haven't been posting much, but i'm reading everything each day.
and i have to give a huge CONGRATS to KRADLE!!!! way to go on 30 days. you've worked hard and offer so much support to others in this nest. --

Wicked mom, i always love it when you sign on and let us know how you are. i always feel so happy to hear how far you've come; to hear how you're now able to be so present for your kid(s)--that has been my main reason for wanting to be sober. i know for a fact that i don't want to regret missing childhood. i've already missed some (blackouts at the table, i know too well--passing out during story time, the super short temper) and i so look forward to getting it all right. children are so forgiving, aren't they? that's what breaks my heart the most. the other day my 10 year old girl looked at me and said, "mama, i think you're the perfect woman." i want to live up to that. please continue to let us know how you are.

Litre, i'm so sorry to hear about that guy treating you so poorly. i agree with the above. someone who knows how to respect another human being does NOT do that. please don't let it get the best of you. you are your strongest when you are sober--you know that. sober you can handle anything. you are a super strong, sensitive and intelligent woman--it's obvious from your posts. just let yourself ask for and be helped!! hang in there, girl!!
LC

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1351231 wrote:

Library Girl...offense taken. Sorry you think this is a dictatorship. It is a place for support...support from people who have walked the walk and talked the talk. Not sure if you've noticed (I doubt it) but the dictators are driven out, so mission accomplished. Good luck in your journey.

Byrdie

Wow. I am not out to accomplish any mission outside of my own, in my own life. Certainly not on a message board. I'm sorry if you felt anything was directed at you, because it was not. I have not directed anything personal at anyone, and have respected everyone here as much as I, myself, have been respected.

[finallydone]

Newbies Nest

Kradle123;1351134 wrote: Good morning everyone. :rays:

Lots and lots going on in the nest this morning. Want to comment but just think I'll digest it all with some of that great coffee from Destiny, which by the way, I have done the 'pot' thing more times than I care to count:H

Okay so here it is, June 17 and this is how I feel... :wow3:: because believe it or not
Today is DAY THREE-OH !

I'm trying to figure out why THIS 30 days feels different from the other 30 days that I've done: More solid this time, more 'real' though that sounds so trite.

There's no question staying close to all of you has made all the difference 'out there' especially since you all are about the only 'out there' support I get , though one of my best girl friends who is trying to quit became very teary last night telling me how proud she was of me working so hard to be AF and sharing my struggle with her - I wanted so badly to throw her vodka down the sink and have her read that 30 days AF article someone posted the other day. But that quotation Mario has at the end of his posts pops in head all the time at moments such as these: Habits can't be pushed out of the window but only coaxed gently down the stairs...

I think that all in all despite the occasional flair up here this quote best describes MWO- lots of different people coaxing each other, coaxing ourselves down the stairs back to the life they/we were supposed to be leading in the first place- better life, healthier, more valid if that makes sense.

So I am just taking this small 30 days and putting it on the window sill like my kids do with there little sports trophies and with more of the same - work, MWO, clarity, chanting, desire and a really good lawyer...(okay just kidding) I'll have a whole row of little trophies lining the sill and then I'll start on the next window.

So much gratitude- real gratitude- to everyone who has taken the time and energy to read and respond not only to my life but to share you own struggles, hurts, past, victories, screw ups and vacations Everthing you all write has gotten me to this 30 days and I know that it will get me to the next 30 ...

Okay...Now where do I pick up the hat ? :goodtime::

:l

Nice job and WAY TO GO on 30 days!

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

WickedMom...I'm still here, thanks so much for calling me out. Well done on your 10 months! I'm here with 186 days AF (6 months 4 days)! Like you I do read here often, but do not post so much. Mostly busy with life...now that I am not hanging my hungover head unable to do much else.

I swear we must be twins separated at birth, as I could have written your entire post. I too have never been able to say "never", but am too afraid to try moderation. I too have learned that a simple "no thanks" (said without the least bit of hesitation) has worked wonders for me. The hubby does not even question it. Nobody does. Maybe they are all grateful I am not the drunk I used to be???

Glad you are having a nice summer with your kiddos. We are having a low-key summer here so far, but that will change shortly as we are going on a 3 week vacation starting next week. Of course, that brings up concerns about keeping my quit. However, whenever I have those drinking thoughts, I just think them out to the end...that first nice buzz, losing that buzz and chasing the elusive buzz until obliteration. Then the hangover. I don't want to miss a minute of this vacation feeling like crap, so that is my motivation to stay AF.

And as I know I have said many times, things go much smoother with the kids now that I am sober. My husband still works a ton, but I have the mental and physical energy to be a proper parent. That goes a long way to keeping kids better behaved and happier. It is so nice to be able to deal with the kids' issues with a clear head. They still fight and bicker, but I find it so much easier to deal with that now.

The nest is such a busy place these days. I wish everyone well in their journey.

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

Darn...I meant to give a big Congrats! to Kradle on 30 days AF

Indeed a milestone! You should be very proud.

:wd: