Newbies Nest

[Mick]

Newbies Nest

Morning everyone, how are we all?just popped in to say hello..Hi Byrdlady Lilly E you ok?Finally done, well done on 120 Great picture Kradle Need to learn how to post pictures..Ican resize them and then the world goes blank!!Blubird like us all you will be there one day..Ive got 104 to go but whos counting :H:H

Big welcome to all newbies...I was here 16 days ago frightened worried if I was doing the right thing etc, believe me I was.There are some really good and experienced people here..they know who they are so I aint naming names,..so if you are looking and thinking go on jump in you wont regret it

[Arrii]

Newbies Nest

Morning everyone!! I'll def jump in matey!! And hopefully stay there!!Need all the support i can get this now!!

[Butterbean]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1351838 wrote: ButterBean! Your hat, my dear!!!!:day5: So proud of you! The better you feel the better you do! Well done, girl. B

Byrdlady! Thanks so much for the hat! I wasn't sure if I was supposed to ask for it or what. It means more than you know! I will wear it proudly.

:thanks:

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters, this morning I would like to speak to those who feel they must leave the nest. In life we all deal with differences of opinions whether it is at work, home or lunching with a friend. We do not walk from any of those. So I ask you not to walk from the nest. As a fellow newbie I enjoyed walking down that trail to sobriety with you. I know we all were counting the days till we can post our success stories. So stick with it till we can all fly on our own. True there are some things best unsaid here, just like home or work or lunching with a friend. There are other threads to speak freely about it. So again stick with the nest, if you still choose to leave I will miss you.:upset::truce:

I would also like to say :goodjob:to all those who have got over 30 days and up to 120. One soon I will be wearing that hat, and feel I am secure in my own sobriety to really offer advice. Presently, it is support that I can offer, and past experiences to show we are all here together and have "Been there and have the T-shirt unfortunately"

FD- Like you I owe my life to the nest and my family. I had a life changing thing happen a few weeks ago, just after I decided to become AF.
Those in the nest have heard this before, but I will tell it again. Back in March I was on antidepressants, actually a new one. Had been on it for only a week. I remember I had been drinking, and I am sorry to say it was early in the morning. I do not know how much, but it was like an out of body experience. I remember seeing someone pour the pills in my hand. It did not feel like me. I washed it down with wine. After that I do not remember anything. Till I woke up in the hospital with my daughter and her best friend looking at me. I did not even recongize my daughter. Eventually the cloud evapourated, and off the the syc hospital I go for two weeks. It turned out I was the one who called 911, and the medics had to break down my door.
So I tried to clean up my act, but did not stop drinking, I felt terrible, but it did not stop me. A few weeks ago, my son had lunch with one of his life long best friends, and told him what I had done. The boy was understanding, supportive and sympathetic. 3 days later his mother took her own life. That hit me so hard, it took that to realize what I had done to my children, my siblings and if it had taken my grandchildren. That is what is keeping me sober. Yes I had some drama these past few days, but it did not compare to the death of Daves Mother. I allowed myself to wallow in selfpity for a while, I guess it could be considered a nano second when we look at all the trials we go through in our life.
That is why I say thankyou to the nest, you allowed me and still allow me to speak my mind and share my experiences. I have asked for forgiveness of my children, and got it.:h

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Kradle. Pinecone, FD, Butterbean....thank you so much for the kind words...I appreciate them very much. Kradle, your baby is gorgeous!!! No wonder you wanted to post pictures!!! I'd love to have that hair! Glad you got help to post them. And the first Boot Camper to get a hat! Outstanding!!

I know that all the angst here has caused me sincere grief...I mean, like in grieving... it has upset us all, and that speaks volumes to its power. This place does a lot of good...You know, I think the nest is for folks in all stages of recovery...and we certainly are THAT! When I go to the ABS thread...I'm the newbie!

Welcome Arrii!! I normally advise folks to read back a couple weeks and get to know us...but yikes...maybe go back a month and read some to get to know us. There is NOT anything you can't ask or say....(believe it or not).

Litre, I am so moved by your story...it's just amazing the power of AL and what it reduces us to...I will never understand it, but boy do I respect it. I am so proud of you! I'm getting your 30 day hat ready!!

FinallyDone, you gotta change your thing at the bottom...90 days is in your rear view mirror!!

Like the others here, this nest saved my life too. I googled 'how to stop drinking without going to rehab'. I hit bottom while I was here and this place gave me a ladder. I think (and I HESITATE to speak for K9 and any others) the reason we are so passionate about this place is that we absolutely learned the hard way. We struggled for years on the 'hamster wheel' trying to make AL work for us. We have lost friends to addiction...it's just hard to see someone walk into the propellor....I know that I will be more mindful of my words. AL IS a choice, after all.
Thanks so much for all the kind words....(and the not so kind ones...I am listening to) Byrdie

[Lucelastic07]

Newbies Nest

This woman in my office was just telling me about all the drinks she had whilst out on the lash last night, but how she's feeling better now (the magic 3pm here!) and fancies going out again. Then she joked "Oh no, now I'm an alcoholic". Ha bloody ha.
Anyway, Day 3 for me. If I got to 12 last month, I know I can do that and more now. Come on!

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Byrdie, you have been one of my inspriations since my return to the nest. Look forward to that hat

Luce- so glad you are doing so well, of course you can go 12 months is you so chose.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

it's just hard to see someone walk into the propellor so true Byrdie...:h

This remains (at times) a very difficult thing for me. And I do continue to need the support of the nest - I will make a point to be here more to join in.

~lola

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Luce....doesn't it seem like a Twilight Zone episode? You are trying to hard to get AL out of your thoughts and EVERYBODY else is talking about it and flaunting it in your face! It's in EVERY movie and in all the magazines....it literally IS everywhere. This is where the rubber hits the road...gaining control of your mind and your thoughts...the Pity Party is easy to throw and attend!! And hard to leave! But this fight isn't about everybody else and what they can do...it's about YOU...and the steps you gotta take to regain control of your future. I KNOW it is hard to hear how everyone else can drink refreshing fruity drinks and how they all are smiling and I can't do that...but I CAN have anything else out there...I can still be happy without that drink. It takes some muscling your way thru these first few days...but you will be so glad you did. Focus on the things you CAN have and not what you can't. Our nestmother Lav practices Gratitude daily. Be grateful that you feel good today, and that you are taking steps to insure a better life. Is it easy?? Hell no. Is it worth it? Absolutely! Hang in ...you can do it. B

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Byrdie, Lola & all Nesters!

I'm very happy to see both of you this morning, things have gotten a little crazy around here lately, huh?
I think a lot of this angst could be avoided if we simply ask the newbies to post their moderation thoughts, hopes & dream on the Moderation threads
I know when I started here 3 1/2 years ago I just wanted help ~ someone to push me in the right direction. And the right direction was getting 30 AF days done before even starting to think about moderating

Here's a link to a website I love re Gratitude & Mindfulness
The ToDo Institute: Mindfulness, Procrastination, and Gratitude using Morita and Naikan Therapies
You don't have to be a member to do some really great reading although I have been a member for quite a few years now

Wishing everyone the best!

Lav

[Arrii]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Byrdlady i will def sit down and have a look through things later on once all the children are settled!! I joined about 2 weeks ago ish...and straight away managed 6 days..then like ive mentioned on another thread i was bloody stupid..stopped reading here and anyhoo have drank past couple of nights...waaayyyy too much...so im delicate the day and starting again!! I know its hard to completley take drink out ur life for good but tbh if i can stop drinking in my house then im okies with that and only drink if out on social occasions ONLY. I was T-Total up to the age of 25 wasnt even slighlty bothered with drink and then PND hit and that calmed me down and have now been stuck in the same bad habit for 7 yrs....

Litre2 ....I sadly did the same as you 2 and a half yrs ago...took loads of paracetamol at night...ob not enough well i dunno maybe it was as the next day i was all over the shop and my mum who was a heavy drinker now can moderate it and she also a nurse got me to hospital where i was put on a drip. My husband had left me over something id done drunk and i shoved those tablets down my throat..drunk again ob! What a flipping viscious circle...i still didnt learn from all that..anyway im very hopeful for the future with this site and knowing i dont feel so alone anymore and that what i do all these other ppl do like myself ,, what with the guilt, hiding it, etc etc

[Arrii]

Newbies Nest

Oh and sorry for posting about the moderation thing....i didnt see the comment from lavande. Im just going to do whats right for me. I have no thoughts on what other ppl should do, everyone is differant.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning Nesters!

Welcome Arrii, we're glad you're with us! I'm glad to see the Nest has settled back down. I'm sorry for any part I had in the chaos. I know a couple of people have left (supposedly because of me) and that really makes me sad. I am here to help, not offend people and send them packing. Byrdie is right, the reason we are so passionate about helping others is that we have lived the nightmare, over and over...and it's hard to see someone heading down the same path (or hamster wheel)....you just want to reach out and spare them the grief.

Butterbean, wear your hat with pride...you deserve it! Keep up the good work!!

Lav, good to see you (and Stella) as always. You always know when to chime in and get us back on track. Can I be you when I grow up?

FD - Thanks for your kind words and support. You are doing an amazing job with your 120 days. You are a prime example of what CAN be done. Not only have you taken advice, you've given it right back. That's what this place is all about...helping each other. None of us can be strong ALL the time, that's why we need each other. So thank you again, and I hope you got some sleep. I am confident we'll all have a better day around here!

Lolab, Litre, Luce, and so many others...it's good to see everyone here. Stick close and keep posting. The Nest has saved MY life too, I will be eternally grateful.

Love,
K9

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Butterbean;1351974 wrote: Byrdlady! Thanks so much for the hat! I wasn't sure if I was supposed to ask for it or what. It means more than you know! I will wear it proudly.

:thanks:

BB:
Congrats on your hat!! :wave:
I'm at 32 and you're at 33... Or is it 33 and 34??
Wow, loosing count already.
Well we're practically twins. Emjoy your day, sweetie. So happy to see you here in the Nest!!

:l

[WickedMom]

Newbies Nest

Hi BelleGirl! It certainly is a busy place here. It?s hard to keep up without devoting hours and hours of the day. Wish there were more of them to be had!
With 6 months (!!!) behind you I think you should do just fine on your vacation. Just keep doing what you?re doing! Vacations with kids can be tough but a million more times enjoyable without hangovers or the stress of figuring out how to sneak the next drink in without looking like you have a problem! We went on a big trip to Austria early this summer. I was worried about how I would make it through without giving in too. Sitting outside at the sidewalk caf?s drinking wine and people watching was always a favorite activity. I still did that -- but I switched my drink to coffee. How novel! I do admit the first few days were difficult for me. I couldn?t imagine not ?enjoying? all that good cheap wine. It?s actually about the same price or even a little less than the bottled water or apple juice ?gespritzt? that became my go to drink at restaurants. I also passed on the bicycle tour to the wineries and took the kids to play at a park instead. Once I got into the routine of not drinking I was fine. It was a great trip and best of all I remember the whole thing!

LifeChange -- Children are such forgiving creatures! I really am loving the ability to be truly present for my 2 boys. The way I interact with my youngest has drastically improved. I have so much more patience with him now and our household is so much more peaceful than it was when I began this adventure last September. The decibel levels are much lower thanks to my new found realization that screaming orders or yelling at them to be quiet does absolutely nothing to help calm a situation. Can?t believe it?s taken me so long to figure that one out! I love what your daughter said to you -- those are huge words to live up to!

Pixie -- Nice to meet you as well. Congratulations on getting past 40 days! It?s an exhilarating feeling -- and each day you continue you will feel stronger and even more capable of continuing forward. I can relate to ?this time it feels different?. This time it did for me too. I think I just knew that it really needed to happen. I had to change. Without sounding melodramatic I realized it wasn?t a game, it wasn?t pretend, and that if I didn?t finally deal with my problem the results could mean the end of everything for me.

Welcome Bluburd! I?ve never been part of an online forum before either. I don?t post often, but I do read. I was so shy that if I remember correctly I didn?t even make my first post until after I was already 2 months AF. If you let it, this place can do wonders for you. Let us know how your dinner goes! I love to cook too. At first I was a bit panicky -- (okay -- a lot panicky!), but once I managed to get through a few big cooking sessions without my wine it started to feel more natural and my meals were actually more complete and tasted better.

Kaslo -- Thank you! Your comments actually made me blush! Geez -- have I really managed to get past the ?addicted brain syndrome?? I?m not so sure about that, but I?m definitely still working on it! Congratulations on your year and a half -- that?s a long way off for me but I can finally see it as a real possibility?

ButterBean -- Way to go. You made it over the 30 day hurdle! Keep checking in here. That?s exactly how it worked for me. I saw if others could do it there was no reason I couldn?t too!

LilyE - No need to despair -- if you?ve made it to 17 days you can make it to 30. Really!

Hi Kradle -- glad you like my name. I actually meant ?Wicked? as in this definition from the dictionary: informal excellent; wonderful: Sophie makes wicked cakes.
Although sadly-- the ?mommie dearest? version was probably closer to my frame of mind when I first came here. What a smile on your daughter?s face! That?s a gorgeous photo...

Well -- I really need to go get my kids some breakfast before it's time for lunch. Like I said at the start -- wish there were more hours in the day!

See you all later!

WickedMom