Newbies Nest

[Butterbean]

Newbies Nest

resrchqueen;1352657 wrote: Just being dumb again... I drank wine every night this week... Sunday had two small drinks by our pool which did not lead to more. I don't know about the rest of you but if its wine....all bets are off. I can't stop. Not sure if it is the sugar buzz or what. If I drink anything else I am A ok... Is that weird or am I WEIRD!!! Thanks for the support K9. I read a post earlier about how you were in such despair over disappointing your daughter and I feel that way today about disappointing my hubbie.... Wine truly does suck. But yes I am ok... just mowed the grass and I ate a decent lunch but I need to face the hubbie when he walks in the door tonight.

RQ: What is it with the wine??? That is my total downfall too, especially red wine. I feel like I could drink beers and always stay ok. With wine I ALWAYS went straight downhill, couldn't stop and couldn't remember anything. It must be stronger and with a lot more sugar. I am embarrassed to say I am only 5'2" and sometimes could easily match my husband in drinks. So gross.

BB

[Butterbean]

Newbies Nest

K9Lover;1352661 wrote: Yeah, I don't recommend grooming a dog under the influence! LOL (Would that be a GUI?) I used to get randomly energized to do the weirdest things drunk, like rake the front lawn in the rain wearing my torn up pajamas. I'm sure my neighbors don't miss my drunken antics. But I think the guy at the liquor store might miss my visits, I think I inadvertently mooned him a few times!

K9,
You're killing me!! I am imagining this dog, half shaved with tufts of longer hair and buzzer marks all over it!! That is hilarious!

:H:H:H

[Butterbean]

Newbies Nest

bluburd;1352694 wrote: Unfortunately i'm in the middle of a severe thunderstorm. Feels like fitting weather for my mood. I think i will just watch the lightning for a bit. I do have a good book for later, i just really was looking forward to showing off my non-alcoholic beer at the poker game. I've never been a fruity drink type so I think I will just make some tea.
Thanks for the quick reply. The reassurance helps a lot.

Blubird,
Maybe you can find something completely different than NA beer. I was buying Perrier and at first I thought I would put it in a wine glass but it was too close to the real thing for me. I keep it ice cold and drink it out of the bottle so it is completely different than my usual wine goblet. You know they say 19 days to make a habit. I am proof that we are truly creatures of habit because now I find myself looking so forward to that stupid ice cold bottle of Perrier each night, just like I did with my 5 o'clock (or any other time) glass of vino. Just an idea. Good luck with this. Just get through that first week and I promise it does get so much better. This place is so full of AF wisdom. :l

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Butterbean;1352748 wrote: Kradle: The nice thing now is I am not counting. It is a Friday night and I did think about wine a few times but the longer I go without, the less I think (obsess!) about it. Good couple of days but I am still wary of the monster! Congrats to you too. You have had some really rough stuff and kept it dry. Great job. :goodjob:

Thanks BB:

I really appreciate that. And as strange as this may sound , going through this crap with my husband (and to a lesser extent dealing with my poor Matt's issues) without drinking is almost a high in itself.

But instead of chasing the 'high' or buzz' (not that I ever framed it that way, I didn't) I think what I am waiting for now is ...more Authenticity, for lack of a better word.

Someone said in a post somewhere that the further we get away from Al the more we become our real selves. And I for one am really ready (for better or for worse ) to get to know that person. To see just how I will handle stress,pain, bad news, good news, boredom, fear, anger.... to see How I am going to Act. .
If that makes sense... Feels a little like Christams Morning sometimes. Not always certain what I'm going to get yet. :H

Thanks again, BB . You sound awesome!
Hugs,

:l
PS: I like the way you address each person individually with a post. Think I will adopt your method!

[bluburd]

Newbies Nest

Butterbean;1352757 wrote: Blubird,
Maybe you can find something completely different than NA beer. I was buying Perrier and at first I thought I would put it in a wine glass but it was too close to the real thing for me. I keep it ice cold and drink it out of the bottle so it is completely different than my usual wine goblet. You know they say 19 days to make a habit. I am proof that we are truly creatures of habit because now I find myself looking so forward to that stupid ice cold bottle of Perrier each night, just like I did with my 5 o'clock (or any other time) glass of vino. Just an idea. Good luck with this. Just get through that first week and I promise it does get so much better. This place is so full of AF wisdom. :l

Litre2;1352719 wrote:
Blu- I can see your frustration. I wish you well on your decision. Myself I spend alot of time by myself. When I first quit, my best friend was a good book or a movie just as K9 mentioned. Today I drink alot of water, once in while I will have a glass of tonic water. It does not remind me of drinking for when I did, I used to fill a glass without the gin, so to me it is the same. Again I wish you all the luck. Going to the poker game at this early stage is not the best move. If you do, keep your reserves up. Take care
I do not like thunderstorms, my dog hates them more, so please do not send them this way. I have a girlfriend in Idaho, not sure what part. Coming from a Canadian who is Geography challenged to me it all the same place. Sorry

Byrdlady;1352717 wrote: BB, if all else fails, just go to bed early. Maybe you can google where to get some NA beer tomorrow to have on hand...so you won't find yourself searching in the store for it, and then saying what the hell...try to have a plan in place so that Dick Head (Addiction Head) won't be telling you what to do. Just get yourself to day 3 and you will be so glad you did. Eating something...keep yourself full and that will help a lot. So proud of you! B

Byrdlady- Yes the beer browsing was a bad idea. Dick head got aroused, and was very angry when he didn't get any. I have an insatiable appetite for spicy stuff, pickled stuff, and chocolate. I feel like a pregnant woman...very strange feeling for a youngish dude like myself.

Litre2- Decided against poker. 98% chance I would be sloppy by now. I am actually enjoying the time to myself, and the feeling that I didn't give in!. Thunderstorm is over thankfully, my shitzu goes completely bonkers :bonkers:. I'm about 45 minutes south of border and the boomers were definitely heading North. I tried to convince them otherwise....good luck!

Butterbean- I've been on a steady intake of tea and lemonade to compliment my already whacked diet tonight. I might give perrier or something like that a chance. The carbonation is definitely a missing factor. I'm looking forward to better and better!

Thanks all you guys. It's amazing how much it helps to hear from you all. I feel like part of the
community already. :h

Day 3 here I come!

[Mick]

Newbies Nest

Well done Bb you can do it

[Beffy2001]

Newbies Nest

Hi All,

Had a big day at work today and it felt good to do it without a hangover. Life seems so much easier without the complications of alcohol. Still feeling flat from the last few weeks of drinking and looking forward to feeling well again.

K9 you always keep me feeling strong! You are truly an inspiration, you all are.

Night everyone.

Beffy

[itsmytime]

Newbies Nest

Happy Sober Saturday,
Doing a happy dance this morning as I was having strong cravings yesterday that I did not give in to. I feel stronger this morning for going with the flow of the first weeks of sobriety. This time feels soooo different, I think that is why the cravings are so much stronger than the other times I "tried" to quit. It is final, goodbye my liquid painreliever FOREVER!!!

Thank you, you guys helped me through this.

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

Blu- good for you so pleased, by the way my friend is in Boysie, spelling it wrong I know. Told you I Geographically challenged, I guess that carries over to my spelling. Enjoy your weekend

So I decided to take my brother up on his offer to pick me up. I told him and my girlfriend from Idaho I was not drinking. That makes at least 5 people who know. I am getting stronger and more confident in my choice of life style. I am going to go, and remain AF for today is another great goal 21 Days, 10 more to reach my 30 day goal, and then I will make more. AL is not in my near future. I want to go past 3 months like I did before.

So my dear friends in the nest, stay true, enjoy this lovely weekend, for it will be full of promise, beautiful sunshine and most of all love from all over the world:h:l

Litre2

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

OK, good folks, you all are about to see a lot more of me. I'm back, and I'm mad as hell. I've been drinking for the last five days straight, and I've had enough!

Someone in a different MWO forum said something that really hit home with me. She was talking about how she would give in to urges by convincing herself that she would just start her AF journey "the next day." And then the next day would arrive, and she would convince herself that it was OK to have one more "private party" with her wine and just start back "the next day." Well, needless to say, those "next days" just kept getting postponed and postponed as weeks, months, and even years passed.

I can soo relate to that. I don't know how many times I've sat at a bar, sipping on my wine or mimosa, thinking to myself, "OK I'm going to enjoy this drink tonight and not worry about it, because TOMORROW will be the day I quit this crap forever, lose weight, and get my life together!" And then tomorrow arrives, and I start thinking about how I'm going to get it all together THE NEXT DAY. But that next day always turns into the next. In other words, I just have DAY 1 after DAY 1, and so on.

I want OUT of this crazy crap. I am so fed up with that damn beast right now. I want my life back!

Every time I have a fall lately, my binges get worse and worse. Every time I try to moderate, I drink more than I did before. This JUST AIN'T WORKING, folks.

I hope you will let me come back to the nest and fight this bastard with you. Today is DAY 1, and tomorrow will be DAY 2.

Thanks for listening.

Oh, and my plan? Well, I'm going to start with the same tactic that I've used before, which has actually helped me. I'm working on my long list of all the negative things in my life that are and were caused by alcohol. I'm including obvious things like money wasted, weight gained, etc., but I'm also listing all the horror stories I can think of - passing out in public places, losing friends, screwing up at work, etc.

I'm putting that list all over my house, in my car, and in my purse for easy access. As soon as I feel the beast tugging at me to relax with a drink, I'm gonna pull out that list and read it word for word.

Thanks for listening. I feel more determined than ever right now.

I apologize for not commenting on other people's posts yet. I need to read back over them.

Dest - I think we need to get together for coffee and talk. We live so close....:l

[bluburd]

Newbies Nest

Rooniferd good to see you again. I was reading your posts before I decided to jump in myself.
I'm sorry to hear you had a difficult week. I like your idea of posting reminders around. I have to keep reminding myself of my drunk antics when I start feeling frustrated with soberness. Keep your head up. We can get out of this crazy crap together.

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Thanks bluburd, yes we can get out of this mess together. I am really tired of living like this. Everything messed up in my life pretty much is because of alcohol. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

How many days are you sober?

[bluburd]

Newbies Nest

Amen. I just woke up to day 3. First attempt since last fall.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

K9....a GUI!!!!! (Grooming Under the Influence)! I nearly peed myself!!! Good one!! I did a paint by numbers drunk one night, a PUI. Bah!

I've got company this weekend so sneaking in when I can. It's so nice to be able to drive around and show my city to them, and not worry about how I was going to get away with drinking the whole time. I have been more present for my family and it has been quite a journey getting to know myself...in a very good way. I am beginning to like me, and I couldn't say that 2 years ago. It just gets better with each day you put between you and AL.

Hang tough everyone, weekends are a bear (not a beer! and no wining, either!!).....if you got thru the last 15 minutes you can get thru the next 15.
Hugs to all!! Byrdie

PS, it's perfectly ok to whine....this is hard. but worth it.

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Preparing for war....

Three weeks ago, I cut off ties with a "friend" who I realized was really just a drinking buddy. That's all we did together. I can think of a few occasions where she tried to get me to go out drinking with her, even after I had expressed my desire to quit drinking. One night, after drinking all day, I called her in a panic. She came over and we talked about my alcohol problem. I think two days later she called to ask me to meet her at the bar....

The girl I go out and drink with the most is a different story. I told her a couple of night ago that I need to go on the wagon. Well, instead of reacting negatively, she said she wanted to as well! And that we should do it together. We are planning to meet up at the coffee shop after work on the nights we would normally meet at the bar. Unlike the other girl, I really think she is a true friend, regardless of what happens with the alcohol situation between us.

As Byrdie says, "No matter who no matter what," DO NOT DRINK.