Newbies Nest

[Mick]

Newbies Nest

H all how are you? just popped in to say hello.Litre 2 well done now on day 23 good for you.
Kradle if that message hits home to you, then why not go the whole hog?If it is any help this is what I do..couple of things on this site, have made me sit up and think..(one being junkie time) I copied that .it is now in my wallet and my car.I also photographed it on my phone so it is there too.I also have got a little pencil and paper in my wallet and car.When things get a bit heavy you can either write it all down, or from memory try and write down the message that helps you..That way the brain has to concentrate making it easier to surf the urge.First couple of times it is hard to concentrate but it gets easier.Hope this helps

Mick

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Monique, I am still so pleased with myself, the last time I quit, it was not because of my own mind. This time I chose to do it, again yes, unfortunately a death by ones own hands made me sit up and take notice and control of my own life, but BOY I had no idea. I did not even have any urges, yes there was always drinks in everyones hand, even mine, but mine was non-alcoholic, and everyone could see. Even when I had the wine glass, it was obvious it was not wine for the bubbles and everyone knows, I do not like bubbly wine.

Mic-yes on to Day 23, my excitement will die down soon, but not my reserve. My SIL told me if I want I can sit by her, for she hardly drinks. Maybe I will be a good influence on those who do drink alot. My youngest brother said he was thinking of not drinking anymore, but he does not drink much. A glass of wine with dinner, and a few beers a few times a year. It is my sister, and my one brother if his health improves, which I doubt. He is so thin, and shaky. Aug 2nd will tell us what the CAT scan showed. So my nester friends, pray for his health, he is only 56 till Oct. It is still so very young to loose all his strength as he has. Anyway I will not go on about him, sorry, and thankyou for listening.

[Daya]

Newbies Nest

Congratulations Litre!!!!

You are an inspiration...and i also think it will hopefully motivate others in your family.

I will send prayers your way for you family also. xxx

[itsmytime]

Newbies Nest

You are in a good space Litre, congrats! prayers for your brother.

Day 8, yeah made it through the first weekend. I am off work this week, perfect for retraining my brain and resting. Not doing much, we have been soooo busy with planned getaways - hence why I stopped drinking now, the rest of the summer will be sober. And then sober Fall, Winter, Spring etc...

It was great this weekend having authentic laughs with friends and family. To wake up early with a clear head and no shame is liberating. This feeling is amazing!!!

[satz123]

Newbies Nest

Litre2;1353653 wrote: Thanks Monique, I am still so pleased with myself, the last time I quit, it was not because of my own mind. This time I chose to do it, again yes, unfortunately a death by ones own hands made me sit up and take notice and control of my own life, but BOY I had no idea. I did not even have any urges, yes there was always drinks in everyones hand, even mine, but mine was non-alcoholic, and everyone could see. Even when I had the wine glass, it was obvious it was not wine for the bubbles and everyone knows, I do not like bubbly wine.

Mic-yes on to Day 23, my excitement will die down soon, but not my reserve. My SIL told me if I want I can sit by her, for she hardly drinks. Maybe I will be a good influence on those who do drink alot. My youngest brother said he was thinking of not drinking anymore, but he does not drink much. A glass of wine with dinner, and a few beers a few times a year. It is my sister, and my one brother if his health improves, which I doubt. He is so thin, and shaky. Aug 2nd will tell us what the CAT scan showed. So my nester friends, pray for his health, he is only 56 till Oct. It is still so very young to loose all his strength as he has. Anyway I will not go on about him, sorry, and thankyou for listening.

Hi Litre - CONGRATS. I am also on the day 21 today & VERY proud. A fews months ago I picked up a book called Detox your Liver in 9 days - I couldn't imagine 9 days - a weekend - without AL - but thanks to this site I KNOW now it can be done.:h

[satz123]

Newbies Nest

itsmytime;1353660 wrote: You are in a good space Litre, congrats! prayers for your brother.

Day 8, yeah made it through the first weekend. I am off work this week, perfect for retraining my brain and resting. Not doing much, we have been soooo busy with planned getaways - hence why I stopped drinking now, the rest of the summer will be sober. And then sober Fall, Winter, Spring etc...

It was great this weekend having authentic laughs with friends and family. To wake up early with a clear head and no shame is liberating. This feeling is amazing!!!

ALL of the above - BRILLIANT FEELING :goodjob:

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

Thankyou Itsmytime, Day 8 congrats to you. Retraining is great, I believe that is what I did without actually knowing it. Remaining AF in the future should not feel as if we have lost a friend, which is what I used to think. We should feel as if we have defeated a beast, and we have. Waking with a clear head is exactly that liberating, well done.

Satz- 21 Days is one great step, 3 weeks AF, I was not sure if I could do it, but hey, here I am, if I were a peacock, I would be showing my feathers off. As Its mytime said, I really do feel liberated.

Thankyou all for you thoughts and prayers for my brother.

[Gdog]

Newbies Nest

Morning all. I have been without internet from a move. Back on. This week I am attempting 4 days AF, and then going for the biggie next week of 31 days. I know there has been much heat on this site regarding moderation, so let me be clear my goal is not moderation, but a continual journey towards AF. I am finding I look forward more and more to the AF days. The habit and change are growing.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Gdog...we know what your goal is....and I am pulling for you with both wings..the whole nest is!

Keep yourself hydrated and don't let yourself get hungry. I found that having a sucker or hard candy could get me thru a bad patch. The Voices in your head are going to be loud this week...I can already hear them..."who really cares what I drink, it's my business". "A couple drinks in the scheme of things won't matter" "What do I owe these people online...they won't know if I do or don't" "Compared to some people online, I'm not bad at all!" and finally, "WTF, I give up". Am I true? These are the voices that will try anything to keep that Beast alive. It's like on tv, when someone has a gun pointed to someone else...they'll SAY anything to keep the guy from pulling the trigger. This is AL trying to stay alive. When these voices get strong, sometimes you just have to tell your head to shut the F up!!! Change your thoughts immediately. Try to name the 7 Dwarfs or Dwarves...google whether it's dwarfs or dwarves! Recite the Pledge of Allegience, go to the bathroom! Do something or anything to change your thought process. Break that loop! Get all the AL out of the house!

I had a nestmate at the time I finally quit...she was 2 weeks ahead of me....and she said something that really gave me strength...it happened that she was going out with some friends shopping, and they always stopped at a cafe for a glass of wine afterwards...she said...'Besides, what's ONE glass of wine going to do for me anyway?' I don't know what it was about that phrase...but I clung to it with both hands and by gosh, I got thru one day, and then the next. I'm so proud of you! You can do this!! We are 100% behind you! Byrdie

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

I knew it. When I read this local story about a bad car accident that killed a toddler, I just knew the beast was involved. Are you satisfied, beast??

Driver in Vance wreck that killed toddler expected to be charged :: WRAL.com

[Gdog]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie - Thanks so much. Love the encouragement. I will keep moving mind and body, and when those voices come it will be decaf coffee time, and I am going to say to myself I am building an AF life one day at a time, and today it is very important I do not drink.

[resrchqueen]

Newbies Nest

I think the sugar in the wine is the addiction so maybe if u replace it wight
other sugar it would help but I don't know... I do not have any prob with any other types of alcohol which is somewhat strange to me... Sat night u went out with hubs and friends and was the DD after having 2 drinks the entire night.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good afternoon Nesters,

Glad to see everyone putting one foot in front of the other....taking positive steps

I just started a Congrats thread in General for our friend Turnagain. She has 1 year AF & SF today!!!!
That is one heck of an accomplisment & if she can do it - so can all the nesters
Go check it out & leave your congrats!

Have a great AF Monday one & all!
Lav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Letting go...by KTAB

I was cleaning out my inbox and I came across a post by KTAB....it was one of the most powerful I've ever read. He has kindly sent it to me so I can share it with you. Thank you for digging it up, KTAB...we can all use the reminder of what we are dealing with here!!


Letting go.

Acceptance and denial seem to me to be key elements of moving on. How many of us have truly 100% accepted our alcoholism and let go of the niggling doubt that maybe somehow someday the clock could magically be turned back to a time when we were 'normal'?

As I see it, it is very simple, we have two choices, accept our problem, make the life changing changes necessary or continue to skirt the real issue. I have been clean now for a little while but a couple of weeks ago the friday night feeling hit and the thoughts of how nice a beer or two would be in the local and the cravings of course started. Two beers would have been nice and I am pretty sure I could have stopped at two but it would just have awoken the beast in me again and I would drink again the next day. Maybe its only me but food is somewhat similar, when I get in the mood for say a pizza or an indian meal and dont have it that night, the thought will sit there semi dormant but I will end up eating that food at some time over the next couple of days. I wonder if this is indicative of how the craving and reward centers of my brain are programmed.
Anyway I digress, I didnt drink on the friday but of course the thoughts werent far away and on saturday afternoon I was in the supermarket and found myself in front of the mountain of wine bottles, I picked one up and put it back down, I had allowed the thought to come to me 'hey about a bottle of wine to have with dinner?' I ran with it and then it came the 'maybe you should get two just in case' Then it hit me like a sledge hammer who was I kidding, this addiction wasnt going to go away, the alkie thinking was still there, the lying, the hiding the sneaky drinks were only a breath away. I stopped and bought a bottle of coke.

So I got to thinking about this, was there some part of me still clinging onto the idea that I can drink again? Obviously there is. So what do I do about it? I am back to the two choices, either I accept this or I dont. I believe it is very hard for us to accept that this is our life now and I think that is why so many here keep failing time after time, because they dont give it over totally, I am probably one of the biggest offenders.

If there is a big grey animal in the room with a tusk and a trunk it can only be an elephant. If I am still here posting on an alkie forum after nearly three years looking to help my problem drinking then I am an alcoholic, so if I am born 4 foot 6 with a one ear, green eyes and a big conk I cant change that can I? no more than I can change the fact of my alcoholism either but I can accept the fact. Ok, thats sorted, so without being over dramatic I can stop drinking or I can continue which would undoubtably take years off of my life and result in the quality of the years I have left a hollow shell of what they could be.

After true acceptance comes a sense of relief, a sense of peace and the first step on the path to gratitude for finding however we did the true escape and the right to lead a full and proper life without the ball and chain of AL chaffing the skin on our ankles.
Letting go sounds good to me, how about you?

Take care,
Johnny

[Butterbean]

Newbies Nest

Hi all, a dear friend of mine who maybe drinks 2 beers a year (her dad was a severe alcoholic) just passed on some sad news to me today. Her brother in law has been a progressively severe alcoholic for many years. He was the fun party guy when we were in our 20's. Things escalated the past 5 years to him being kicked out of the house, not seeing his wife and kids, loss of his very successful business, jail, homelessness etc. My poor friend was even forced to "Marchmen Act" (sp?) him a few months ago.

Long story short, he was just getting out of jail from a few weeks and going into a rehab when his liver decided it was done. He just passed away. I know he couldn't have been older than 42. Literally very SOBERING news. Prayers to his poor wife and kids who have been through hell.

Blessings everyone, hang on to your sobriety. :upset: