Newbies Nest

[NVgirl]

Newbies Nest

I need help

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Hi NV,

This is a really good place to get help. I'm up, watching Voyager (again! ) I have 36 days away from AL which I don't think I could have done without the people helping me here...

Please feel free to say as little or as much as often or as little as you need to. But I do suggest you read and read and read...I saw myself in so many posts here. Made me feel so very much less alone.

Welcome! :welcome:

:l

[NVgirl]

Newbies Nest

I feel like I came to the right place but I really need some support.
"

[NVgirl]

Newbies Nest

I am a closet drinker..no one has a clue...it helps me cope with everyday stresses..I need to find an alternative outlit.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Hello & welcome NVgirl!

You have found a good place! MWO saved me 3 1/2 years ago, you can do it too.
The newbies nest is a safe place to get started, please settle in for a while.

I started by reading the MWO book - you can download it right from the Heath store here on the site. The program involves important nutritional supplements, Rx meds if you choose to use them, some really great Hypno CDs (which I highly recommend) & some attention to good nutrition & light exercise.

You need to make a good plan for yourself. Look in the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html for some great ideas.

Plan on getting at least 30 AL free days under your belt to get started, then see how yuo feel. At that point you can choose to remain abstinent or try moderating your intake - it's your choice.

Wishing you the best!
Lav

[finallydone]

Newbies Nest

NVgirl;1353990 wrote: I am a closet drinker..no one has a clue...it helps me cope with everyday stresses..I need to find an alternative outlit.

Where here to help you! The early days are the toughest lean on us. We want to help!

[finallydone]

Newbies Nest

Butterbean;1353975 wrote: Hi all, a dear friend of mine who maybe drinks 2 beers a year (her dad was a severe alcoholic) just passed on some sad news to me today. Her brother in law has been a progressively severe alcoholic for many years. He was the fun party guy when we were in our 20's. Things escalated the past 5 years to him being kicked out of the house, not seeing his wife and kids, loss of his very successful business, jail, homelessness etc. My poor friend was even forced to "Marchmen Act" (sp?) him a few months ago.

Long story short, he was just getting out of jail from a few weeks and going into a rehab when his liver decided it was done. He just passed away. I know he couldn't have been older than 42. Literally very SOBERING news. Prayers to his poor wife and kids who have been through hell.

Blessings everyone, hang on to your sobriety. :upset:

The reason why we all need each other! This disease has one place for us. DEATH! And way too young than it needs to be. The tragedy of this all. It's hard to stop it. And it has now claimed another victim. This is very sobering news and should be a warning call to all of us. My prayers to this family. It is a tragedy.

[MirandaSV]

Newbies Nest

I'm a bit out of my place lately, been drinking a lot for several years that I didn't even notice that I've been drinking weekly, I want to change, and I started drinking tea as a substitute to beers and trying to be a good mother too. I work a lot and stress is killing me. :-) I hope I can be at help in this wonderful community and at the same time it will help me in return.

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

24 Days AF, I still sit and wonder if this is real, or will I wake up with a huge head, tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, and walk clumsily to the bathroom, and grab a drink of water to wash the sand out of my mind and mouth.
Only 6 more days till my first major goal of 30 days. If I can do this anyone can, keep going nesters who find themselves struggling. All the new newbies there is light at the end of that bleak black tunnel.

GDog- I actually cut back myself before I was able to quit. It was not intentional to the point of telling myself I was going to stop AL, but I believe it helped with the AL in my system. We all at the nest at rootin for you.

Butter- All of us in the nest are sending prayers to the family. Anyone passing young is so sad, and we should all sit up and take a good long look at ourselves.
My father was an abusive alcoholic. He outlived the time frame the doctors gave him. He still died young at todays standards, I believe he died at about 65-67. It is hard to say as he lied all his life. A dear friend of mine died over a year ago at the age of 55, same age as me. It also was AL that took him so young, he left 3 children and 2 grandchildren. Strange his passing did not sober me up, it was the death of my sons life time friend's Mother by her own hand that was my wake up call. Regardless of how anyone dies it is always such a sad sad time. Again all of us here in the nest are sending our prayers and thoughts to the family.

NVgirl-:welcome:The nest is a wonderful place to hunker down in. All of us here have started as you have. There will be great advice, shoulders and friendship here. I was also a closet drinker, my friends had no idea either. My family wondered because of our father, and everyone drinks and a couple drink alot.
As was said earlier, make a plan pick a day, and read, read, read and post. Talk about your fears your achievements and what you want for tomorrow.
Coming to the nest takes so much courage, you are on the right path. Remember all of us in the nest are here for you.

Miranda-Anything to substitute AL is a good move. I drink lots and lots of water, boring, but does the trick. You and all the nesters are very important assests to the nest. Sometimes we may thing we do not have much to offer to the others, but when someone is reading, they really do identify. I know I have. So much has hit home for me in the past 3 weeks. I wish you the best on your journey.

[itsmytime]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone,

Sorry to hear of the struggles and the losses. I lost a friend to AL a year ago, too young early forties and it scared me then, but I was drowning my sorrows since then - stupid!!! Anyway, I am not any longer and am not going to be another statistic to the poison of AL.

I had a great day with a dear friend yesterday, she had a couple of beers and I wasn't even tempted. I was drinking water and a NA wine cooler with soda, but I didn't hide the fact that it was NA. Funny though, it really resonated with my just how fast I drank, as she was quite content sipping her drinks where when I drink AL it's get it down quick for effect. Bingeing is my problem. I should say was.

I am up early, been to the gym and ready to putter around on my week off. I am feeling so very different than I have in the past 4 years of trying. I know it's going to stick this time, it has to. I have so much to live for. :l

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Hey all....I was in a wedding this past weekend....it was not fun. I felt so left out of everything. It's not that I want to be a drinker anymore...sheesh, I've been through all of these thoughts a million times in my head...but can I just never go to another social function again, please?!?! LOL.

Anyway, when it came time for the toast, I didn't pick up my glass, and my friend next to me nudged me and gave me a "look" so I did. That's all it took? really? I did stop at that glass of champagne - but I KNOW the issue with this - as I've ranted about one glass of wine being my downfall the last time I quit. So why did I give in so easily??? The whole real reason behind this - and the fact that obviously I haven't succeeded in changing the way I react around people when alcohol is a temptation has really gotten under my skin...I've been so bothered and trying to figure out how I'll ever be able to be around it - I think it's worse as I have relatives visiting soon - and the trip has always centered around wine....and I have another social gathering - which I have coordinated...and there will be drinking. What if someone pushes me just a little? It scares me - I know how easily I can start that descent back into hell...

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Welcome NV and Miranda!! We are so glad you found us! I was a closet drinker myself....you should find the thread about hiding and drinking...dang it, wish I knew how to post a link...but it is sad and funny...mostly sad. AL is the most cunning opponent I know. It makes you think BLACK when it's really WHITE...makes you think you are social, when you are being an ass....makes you feel better as it kills you. Yes, AL has my undying respect. So the only way I know to stop drinking is to stop drinking.

Ok. Well HOW the HELL do you do that? Like any good battle, this takes a plan of attack. This is a little embarrassing, but if you can read back on the Newbies Nest maybe a month, and then SKIP the major squabble we had for about 2 weeks....you will pick up some wonderful tips for success. Get to know us. You will find people from all over the world here, and in various stages of quitting. When I first got here I was SCARED. How could I possibly go one day without AL, let alone give it up for good? Old timers would fly in and say how wonderful it was, but they didn't tell me how to do it. I will throw out a couple of things, and the other nesters will also tell you how they are doing it.

Get your story down. Have in place what you are going to tell people when you are offered a drink. This is key! If you hesitate..the well-meaning host will push it on you and derail your plan. My personal excuse is that "Al is like battery acid to my insides". As any Type A personality will tell you...tummy issues are always a problem...so this works for me. But get yours down and use it....I'm driving...I'm on a health kick...I made a bet with friends...whatever!

Get all the AL out of your house. ALL of it. No, you do NOT need a safety net....that is planning for failure, but you are planning for success. Surround yourself with things you love to eat...I mean LOVE! Do not worry about calories or fat right now, we have bigger fish to fry at the moment!! Keep yourself hydrated! If you like movies...get a load of them to watch. Or books. Whatever you really like to do/eat/play....get it and have it on hand. The first 3 days are the hardest. Your head will be filled with voices telling you to cave in. Don't you do it. Do NOT cave in no matter what and no matter who!!! You are not giving up and old friend...you are getting rid of an enemy who is playing for all the winnings!! No, one glass of ______ is NOT going to do you any good! (this is us you are talking to....we know all the tricks your mind is trying to play!). Distraction, distraction, distraction! When you have those thoughts, immediately change your thinking to something else....name all your cousins...recite the Lord's Prayer....sing the Happy Birthday song...anything to get your mind out of that LOOP! When a thought comes in to your head, say NO, HELL NO, you (AL) will not win this time!!!

Do not get hungry! This is a major trigger! Remember it's only about 4 hours you really need to get thru...at least it was that way for me (5-9). If you made it thru the last 15 minutes, you can get thru the next ones. You do not NEED a drink. The drink needs you....do not feed it! Get on here and read, read, read!!! If all else fails...just go to bed. Yep...get Day 1 behind you. By day 3, all the AL will be out of your system and you will be operating on full power!! It is a wonderful feeling to finally regain yourself. You can do it!!! Grab a wing and lets' get going!!! Byrdie

[Gdog]

Newbies Nest

Day 2 this way. Not great sleep. I used your advice Byrd and when the voices started talking I shouted them down.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Greetings everyone!

Lola, I want to tell you just one thing.....
Take your focus off of AL! You are still giving him/it too much of your head space
You have been doing great, living a wondeful AF life for close to a year now - give yourself some credit & a big pat on the back! Always carry a little Lavan-ittude with you to keep yourself safe in those touchy situations

Hello & welcome Miranda!

Byrdie - we need to remind everyone of the HALT acronym. Good to use when AL thoughts show up:
H - hungry
A - angry
L - lonely
T - tired
The urge to grab a drink can always be squashed quickly when you take a moment to figure out what's really going on

Have a great AF Tuesday eeryone!
Lav

[allswell]

Newbies Nest

Very wise advice Lav, it's always a good reminder that AL is only as powerful as we make it.