Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Dang FD, What a wonderful, insightful post! That is so helpful, you are such an inspiration to all of us!
Nesters, we all struggle with this every hour of every day...but it DOES get easier and the Voices subside. Stay strong...like K9 says, just because it's the weekend doesn't give you a free pass. Strength to all, B

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Wow, FD - great post. I dream about how good it must be to have so much sober time. It sounds like heaven compared to the hell hole of drinking...

Quick update on my situation. As most of your know, I went to a doctor on Thursday of this week to get a prescription of Antabuse, but the doctor was a real shithead and said he would only give it to me if I went to AA and got therapy for depression. Obviously I won't be going back to that doctor.

I started the process of finding another doctor yesterday but got interrupted by work. Guess what folks. I GOT THE JOB I APPLIED FOR!!!! It's a completely new start for me at work. New job, new people, new responsibilities. It's going to be much more intense than it is now, which means I have to stay on track. I WON"T be able to come to work hungover or slip out at lunch for a couple of cocktails. Nope, I will be working side by side with people all day. I feel like I've been given this opportunity for a reason. A new chance. I am sooo excited!!

So I also told you that I went to a Smart Recovery meeting on Thursday. I really liked it and met some nice people. I'm actually heading to another meeting in a nearby town today (Dest - this one is in Chapel Hill). Then I'm going to take myself out to a nice lunch at my FAVORITE restaurant, and then (Dest again - this is for you) - I'm gonna hit A Southern Season and buy some yummy goumet coffee!!

Oh and back to the doctor thing.....I will resume my search for a doctor on Monday morning, and hopefully someone will get me in.....

By the way, do you HAVE to go to a psychiatrist to get the presription, or can I just go to my primary doctor? Going to the psychiatrist is a pain. Only some of them take my insurance, and most are booked for weeks and weeks. But I know I could get in to my primary doctor this week. Advice would be appreciated.

Thanks, and happy Saturday!

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning nesters, and a big welcome to all the newbies.

Mum and Clear-Congrats on 4 Days. I was also very tired, you will hear that alot and probably have already. After almost a month, my sleep patterns are improving. Strange I never noticed my eyes, but I need glasses otherwise it is blurry. However, I did see a very sad lady looking back at me. Today, I see a bright, healthy happy person.

GDog-The nest is rootin for you. Congrats on Day 4. 31 will not be so bad, I still get the odd urge, but it is such a fleeting thought, it is in and out before I know it.

Mum-You are right to keep all temptation out of reach. I know at first I could not pass up a drink let alone dump it unless it went down my throat.

Mar-You are never alone, and:welcome: to the nest. Byrdie said it, she always has the right things to say.

FD- Just a Byrdie said, your post was great. There is one thing I do not agree with, and that is the anti-depressants. Here in Canada the side effect are not all listed, so please, please all, if you need to go on these read and re-read all the side effects, even the rare ones. They were almost my down fall. It was my girlfriend who now lives in Idaho that sent me the website that listed all the side effects. So I am terrified of anti-depressants, and what they can do to some people. I used to not read side effects, because the Dr knows what he is doing and so does the Pharmacist, but I read them now, and research all.

Thanks for letting me blow off steam about them.

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

No lie about the sugar. Holy moly, I never eat sweets and I couldn't get enough of the stuff! But I figured I'd take sweets over alcohol until I had the alcohol somewhat under control, then work on getting the sweet tooth under control. It took a few months and I actually gained weight when I first quit.

[itsmytime]

Newbies Nest

Happy Saturday all,

I hope everyone had a great evening. It hit me last night while I was chillin, reading and really relaxing that the antsy feeling of "hey it's Friday gotta drink" didn't present itself to me. I attribute that to this wonderful board. I read what K9 said about just because it's Friday...

Well, feeling really good besides the fact of eating way too much this week. But I allowed myself this week as I was on holiday and not drinking. I am back on track eating today and starting a real health kick now that I have a couple of sober weeks under my belt.

Have a great Saturday all,

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning Everyone,

ROONI: You can see an ARNP who can prescribe for you. My doctor charges 60 dollars for a 45 min session- sort of like a counseling session but Mostly to update how the meds are going and if changes are needed. I cou
D not get that sort of attention or expertise from a GP. You can find one by asking any psychologist or psychologist in your area. My dr. Is also covered by my insurance. Very helpful

FD: Thanks for the wonderful post. Still early days over here...

:l

[Dogwood Blossom]

Newbies Nest

Starting Day 5! Good to see so many had a successful Friday night! It was difficult and I wrestled with wanting that feeling that comes after the first few swallows or did I want a good Saturday morning. I haven't had a good Saturday morning in such a long time that I dug down deep and didn't drink!

I got up this morning feeling so good! I did something I haven't done in a very long time....I put on my running shoes and took all my dogs, (1 at a time) for a good long walk. After walking 3 dogs, I had put in about 4 1/2 miles. I know I will be sore after that since I haven't done so much exercise in awhile but my last drunk I woke up with bruises and a couple burns on my hands that I have no idea how I got. My knee was so banged up I could hardly wear my pants. So being a little achey from exercise will be great!

My sleep isn't great, like FD says. Seems I sleep real hard for short periods then lay awake for a couple hours. And yes, I crave sweets, but I'm with FlyAway....better the sweets than al. I am praying another sober day for all of us!

[ITGeekChick]

Newbies Nest

Dogwood, I too craved sweets and had some lousy sleep, but it passed. I will hit 5 weeks AF tomorrow and I have sleep better this past week than I have in years! The first week AF I pretty much allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted, since then I've been a little more controlled, but I still allow myself a bit of chocolate when cravings hit. I think it's important to get past the all-powerful AL cravings first, then I can work on the other stuff. Hang in there, it does get better!

I shot a ballgame last night, and as I was walking around in the concourse, I passed the "bar cart," where you can purchase beer (nasty 3.2 stuff) or cocktails at $7 a pop. I thought, what a waste of money! Progress eh?

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Rooni....OMGOD.....Congrats on the job! :yay: I am sooooooooooooooo friggin happy for you! This is totally the start of something good..I just know it! I just googled the Chapel Hill meeting at the baptist church and it is 1 hr 20 minutes from my house and the Raleigh one is 2 minutes further!!!! ull On a happier note...what kind of coffee did you get???

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Destiniey;1356349 wrote: Rooni....OMGOD.....Congrats on the job! :yay: I am sooooooooooooooo friggin happy for you! This is totally the start of something good..I just know it! I just googled the Chapel Hill meeting at the baptist church and it is 1 hr 20 minutes from my house and the Raleigh one is 2 minutes further!!!! ull On a happier note...what kind of coffee did you get???

Thank you, Dest!! I feel like I've been given another chance at life, and if I don't grab it, who knows what will happen.

I went to the Smart Recovery meeting today. For some reason, only the facilitator and I showed up, but it actually worked out best. He is a trained therapist in addiction issues, and I basically had a free therapy session for an hour and a half. He said some very insightful things and wasn't judgemental (like that a-hole earlier in the week). We talked about Antabuse, and he was extremely supportive. He even gave me the names of two doctors to try if my primary doctor denies me a prescription. He said that normally several people showed up on Saturdays for this meeting, and wasn't sure where everyone was. I think it was a blessing in disguise so I could get all the attention LOL

Dest - OMG this coffee is SOOO good. I'm sipping on some Tanzanian Peaberry as we speak!

Hope everyone is continuing to be strong and fight that damned beast today! :boxer:

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Oh Dest - where are you in NC again? I'm about sick of this heat, aren't you?

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

Greetings everyone. Checking in from Day 82 for me (but who's counting?). I apologize in advance; I'm just now catching up and there's so much to catch up on, plus my own "stuff," first and foremost, of course.

Yesterday was my birthday (53), AND Friday. So I was both tired from a long week and wanting to celebrate. Plus I was irked at my ?boyfriend? of 4 years who for the 4th year did NOTHING for my birthday other than to say ?happy birthday.? Oh, and he txted me at the grocery, was I buying myself a cake? (Yes, one piece for myself!) So I was pissed at him, not that I?m hung up on birthdays, but really, nothing? He says he?s getting me an iPad when he has the $$$ (I?ve heard this before) but it?s not the present, it?s the thought. I?d take a single flower and a card. So, yes, wine was sounding good but it wasn?t a serious discussion with myself; just a passing observation, not an option. Though mint moosetracks ice cream definitely was.

The other thing the birthday brought up was thinking about where do I want to be next year on my birthday. I?m grateful that I?m sober now, but what else? What do I want to be proud of? What do I want NOT to regret? I used to be incredibly goal-oriented in my younger days and my life has not been at all dull, and my career has been very rewarding, but the other aspects, my personal spiritual growth, financial stability, weight fluctuations, relationship success; these could all stand for improvement. Problem with all the drinking is that I really didn?t think I?d be around that much longer so I didn?t care. Weird things helped me get sober this time, like realizing I?d never get that quilt made for my son or photo albums put together for him if I was drinking away all my time. (But have I started those yet? Uh, no.)

On a lighter note, I mentioned way back that when I got 30 days I was treating myself to eyelash extensions and I finally did that Thursday night as a combined sobriety present (I?m a firm believer in the rewards concept) and birthday present. Ladies ? I can?t tell you what a ?lift? this gave me. I got so many compliments yesterday but people just said I looked really great; they?re not so noticeable that people know you?ve "done" something but you look fresher in a natural way (mine aren?t rockstar long). No mascara, no smudges under your eyes in the morning, and I can get by with no eye makeup! So that?s my non sequitur beauty tip ?o? the day. Actually, it is relevant; I told my esthetician that I had quit drinking as the first step in a multi-pronged back-to-health plan and she said really? Totally? Usually when people react this way it?s because it?s something they?ve considered so that initiated an interesting conversation. Thankfully, what?s said in spa stays in spa. For me, as I gradually tell people selectively that I?m not drinking, even if I couch it and say, for now, it helps me be more accountable. There are also a few people that I send an email to each week with my number of days. I?d hate to have to start all over again, as I have done many times in the past. The difference now is that I actually take the time and effort to think about that instead of just blindly following the WTF urge.

A few shoutouts ? and hope I haven?t missed anyone!

Lolab: Just think, for many, one drink at a wedding could have been the start of a long binge so good for you for stopping there ? that?s amazing. You?ve rec?d lots of strong feedback. If keeping your sobriety is your number one goal, you might want to consider foregoing social events that you feel are going to make you uncomfortable until you feel up to it.

Desti and Rooni ? as my profile picture says, ?Medicated and Motivated? ? good for you both to be willing to try whatever it takes. My Rx cocktail seems to be working for me; I still have occasional thoughts of drinking, but thankfully not the unruly, uncontrollable, almost trance-like WTF caving-in to those yearnings. Desti ? glad the AB is working for you; you sound great! And Rooni ? we?re already proud of you. Just for being here, being honest and brave, and sharing this crazy journey with us. Sorry about the crappy birthday. Next year can be a different story, you know! Congrats on the new job! And glad you found good support at the SR mtg. That Dr. was definitely uninformed and an asshole. You will both triumph!

FlyAway - Totally agree; you can?t examine the inner workings until the alcohol fog lifts.

Byrdie ? great reminders. And thanks for helping me feel less guilty about the sugar binges I?ve been going through. I don?t want to go from one addiction to another (unless I could miraculously get addicted to, say, exercising for 3 hours a day) but in the beginning it?s important to keep the #1 goal in mind ? no alcohol. I should probably quit hiding choc cake where I used to hide wine I also really liked ?it?s only 4 hours.? So true, get through the witching hour and you?re home free.

Gdog ? Sleep does come back. Definitely one of the huge benefits of not drinking after a couple/three weeks or so for me

Dogwood ? Welcome! This is a great place. Same here. ?not dealing well with life? is the story of my life. I gave away 14 years ? for what? A few hours of relief, celebration, escape ? pretty much every day for the past 7 years, up until May 8th. I?m still reading through the last week of posts and again you mirror my story. I knew I would be useless to myself and others who need and depend on me and love me if I didn?t change.

Banana Split ? your pattern was my pattern. I was at 2+ bottles of wine in the end, with the occasional hard liquor thrown in for good measure. But change is possible (if hellish initially) and you will have a life again that is meaningful and positive if you?re in charge, rather than alcohol

K9 ? thanks for sharing those positive experiences. Very helpful for everyone. Sorry about your dog. Last summer one of my cats racked up $600+ in vet bills ? ugh. Good luck with the job application and hope the migraines have passed!

Dixon ? Hi! We?ve just about the same number of days so thumbs up to us both.

Litre ? you?re almost there to 30 days. Congrats on staying the course.

Itsmytime ? hope you had a great week off and glad you?re doing well. I agree, I?m much less anxious w/o the alcohol and my sense of humor has returned! I?m much sharper again. I also really like: "I'm not depriving myself, I'm loving myself." I?m going to remember that when the sugar/choc cravings hit. They used to say in WW, nothing tastes as good as thin feels.

Hi Mumof4: Welcome. Everyone?s different. Read up on alcohol, read other people?s experience and see what resonates with you. Congratulations on being here ? that?s the first step. Yes, fatigue is very common as your body adjusts to no alcohol ? you?ve been putting it through the ringer. Let yourself be tired and sleep/rest as much as you need to. Plus going to bed early is less time thinking about drinking.

BakerExtraordinaire ? Ha, I?ve had that experience, you get yourself all worked up to finally walk into a meeting ? and nada. Keep trying, though I?ve had mixed results in AA, the right women?s group can be very nurturing. I?m also encouraged by others? experience with Smart Recovery and will look into that.

Marieth ? Welcome to a new start! You?ll find lots of support and great advice here.

Finallydone ? Thanks for chiming in. As soon as I finish writing this novel I?m going to get out on my bike.


RE ANTIDEPRESSANTS ? This is a very individual area, not black and white at all. I?ve read that 25% of alcoholics are clinically depressed and taking away the alcohol does not automatically guarantee that the depression will ease. I know I need to be on antidepressants, and am now on one that helps to control my anxiety as well. The only side effect I?m not thrilled about is the sexual dysfunction but hoping that will pass or I?ll definitely be trying something else. When I have gone completely off AD, even with long-term sobriety and being in top physical condition, I eventually succumbed to very dark depression again. Everyone?s different, and there are many many different antidepressants, so do the research and keep an open mind. Much can be gleened from our shared experiences, but we're not trained psychiatrists here.

Sorry for the length; I need to be checking in more frequently. Have a great weekend everyone. Hang tight. Or not, rather

[finallydone]

Newbies Nest

Litre2;1356218 wrote: Good Morning nesters, and a big welcome to all the newbies.

Mum and Clear-Congrats on 4 Days. I was also very tired, you will hear that alot and probably have already. After almost a month, my sleep patterns are improving. Strange I never noticed my eyes, but I need glasses otherwise it is blurry. However, I did see a very sad lady looking back at me. Today, I see a bright, healthy happy person.

GDog-The nest is rootin for you. Congrats on Day 4. 31 will not be so bad, I still get the odd urge, but it is such a fleeting thought, it is in and out before I know it.

Mum-You are right to keep all temptation out of reach. I know at first I could not pass up a drink let alone dump it unless it went down my throat.

Mar-You are never alone, and:welcome: to the nest. Byrdie said it, she always has the right things to say.

FD- Just a Byrdie said, your post was great. There is one thing I do not agree with, and that is the anti-depressants. Here in Canada the side effect are not all listed, so please, please all, if you need to go on these read and re-read all the side effects, even the rare ones. They were almost my down fall. It was my girlfriend who now lives in Idaho that sent me the website that listed all the side effects. So I am terrified of anti-depressants, and what they can do to some people. I used to not read side effects, because the Dr knows what he is doing and so does the Pharmacist, but I read them now, and research all.

Thanks for letting me blow off steam about them.

I don't disagree with you at all about side-effects from them. You really need to stay in touch with your doctor if your on them. Which I should have said to begin with. Because you are right there can be some drastic changes in behavior on some of them. I hope I am not leading people to go on them. They have helped me during the roughest stretch which is right now. But as time passes I will go off them which is the plan I have with my doctor already. But yes you are correct on being careful on them if you are starting them.

[finallydone]

Newbies Nest

Kradle123;1356281 wrote: Good Morning Everyone,

ROONI: You can see an ARNP who can prescribe for you. My doctor charges 60 dollars for a 45 min session- sort of like a counseling session but Mostly to update how the meds are going and if changes are needed. I cou
D not get that sort of attention or expertise from a GP. You can find one by asking any psychologist or psychologist in your area. My dr. Is also covered by my insurance. Very helpful

FD: Thanks for the wonderful post. Still early days over here...

:l

You'll get there Kradle!! Keep your eyes on the prize! It will be worth it.

[finallydone]

Newbies Nest

I was thinking today how some days can be very rough at times and some just seem to be soo easy in sobriety. Today was a tough day for me. I just had all the urges and it's party time around here with a big country music festival We-Fest going on and I see everyone buying beer and getting ready for a great time. So I start to feel jealous of them. Which is a huge trigger for me. I want to have fun too is the mind game I play on myself. But I than I think about my goals in life and what I want to accomplish. I can't do them when I am drinking. I can do them sober! So for today I am going to focus on my goals and remember what we will happen if I starting drinking again. Weekends are tough for all of us and especially during summer! Stay strong Nesters and Have a great night my friends!