Newbies Nest
akaMonique;1356371 wrote: Greetings everyone. Checking in from Day 82 for me (but who's counting?). I apologize in advance; I'm just now catching up and there's so much to catch up on, plus my own "stuff," first and foremost, of course.
Yesterday was my birthday (53), AND Friday. So I was both tired from a long week and wanting to celebrate. Plus I was irked at my ?boyfriend? of 4 years who for the 4th year did NOTHING for my birthday other than to say ?happy birthday.? Oh, and he txted me at the grocery, was I buying myself a cake? (Yes, one piece for myself!) So I was pissed at him, not that I?m hung up on birthdays, but really, nothing? He says he?s getting me an iPad when he has the $$$ (I?ve heard this before) but it?s not the present, it?s the thought. I?d take a single flower and a card. So, yes, wine was sounding good but it wasn?t a serious discussion with myself; just a passing observation, not an option. Though mint moosetracks ice cream definitely was.
The other thing the birthday brought up was thinking about where do I want to be next year on my birthday. I?m grateful that I?m sober now, but what else? What do I want to be proud of? What do I want NOT to regret? I used to be incredibly goal-oriented in my younger days and my life has not been at all dull, and my career has been very rewarding, but the other aspects, my personal spiritual growth, financial stability, weight fluctuations, relationship success; these could all stand for improvement. Problem with all the drinking is that I really didn?t think I?d be around that much longer so I didn?t care. Weird things helped me get sober this time, like realizing I?d never get that quilt made for my son or photo albums put together for him if I was drinking away all my time. (But have I started those yet? Uh, no.)
On a lighter note, I mentioned way back that when I got 30 days I was treating myself to eyelash extensions and I finally did that Thursday night as a combined sobriety present (I?m a firm believer in the rewards concept) and birthday present. Ladies ? I can?t tell you what a ?lift? this gave me. I got so many compliments yesterday but people just said I looked really great; they?re not so noticeable that people know you?ve "done" something but you look fresher in a natural way (mine aren?t rockstar long). No mascara, no smudges under your eyes in the morning, and I can get by with no eye makeup! So that?s my non sequitur beauty tip ?o? the day. Actually, it is relevant; I told my esthetician that I had quit drinking as the first step in a multi-pronged back-to-health plan and she said really? Totally? Usually when people react this way it?s because it?s something they?ve considered so that initiated an interesting conversation. Thankfully, what?s said in spa stays in spa. For me, as I gradually tell people selectively that I?m not drinking, even if I couch it and say, for now, it helps me be more accountable. There are also a few people that I send an email to each week with my number of days. I?d hate to have to start all over again, as I have done many times in the past. The difference now is that I actually take the time and effort to think about that instead of just blindly following the WTF urge.
A few shoutouts ? and hope I haven?t missed anyone!
Lolab: Just think, for many, one drink at a wedding could have been the start of a long binge so good for you for stopping there ? that?s amazing. You?ve rec?d lots of strong feedback. If keeping your sobriety is your number one goal, you might want to consider foregoing social events that you feel are going to make you uncomfortable until you feel up to it.
Desti and Rooni ? as my profile picture says, ?Medicated and Motivated? ? good for you both to be willing to try whatever it takes. My Rx cocktail seems to be working for me; I still have occasional thoughts of drinking, but thankfully not the unruly, uncontrollable, almost trance-like WTF caving-in to those yearnings. Desti ? glad the AB is working for you; you sound great! And Rooni ? we?re already proud of you. Just for being here, being honest and brave, and sharing this crazy journey with us. Sorry about the crappy birthday. Next year can be a different story, you know! Congrats on the new job! And glad you found good support at the SR mtg. That Dr. was definitely uninformed and an asshole. You will both triumph!
FlyAway - Totally agree; you can?t examine the inner workings until the alcohol fog lifts.
Byrdie ? great reminders. And thanks for helping me feel less guilty about the sugar binges I?ve been going through. I don?t want to go from one addiction to another (unless I could miraculously get addicted to, say, exercising for 3 hours a day) but in the beginning it?s important to keep the #1 goal in mind ? no alcohol. I should probably quit hiding choc cake where I used to hide wine
I also really liked ?it?s only 4 hours.? So true, get through the witching hour and you?re home free.
Gdog ? Sleep does come back. Definitely one of the huge benefits of not drinking after a couple/three weeks or so for me
Dogwood ? Welcome! This is a great place. Same here. ?not dealing well with life? is the story of my life. I gave away 14 years ? for what? A few hours of relief, celebration, escape ? pretty much every day for the past 7 years, up until May 8th. I?m still reading through the last week of posts and again you mirror my story. I knew I would be useless to myself and others who need and depend on me and love me if I didn?t change.
Banana Split ? your pattern was my pattern. I was at 2+ bottles of wine in the end, with the occasional hard liquor thrown in for good measure. But change is possible (if hellish initially) and you will have a life again that is meaningful and positive if you?re in charge, rather than alcohol
K9 ? thanks for sharing those positive experiences. Very helpful for everyone. Sorry about your dog. Last summer one of my cats racked up $600+ in vet bills ? ugh. Good luck with the job application and hope the migraines have passed!
Dixon ? Hi! We?ve just about the same number of days so thumbs up to us both.
Litre ? you?re almost there to 30 days. Congrats on staying the course.
Itsmytime ? hope you had a great week off and glad you?re doing well. I agree, I?m much less anxious w/o the alcohol and my sense of humor has returned! I?m much sharper again. I also really like: "I'm not depriving myself, I'm loving myself." I?m going to remember that when the sugar/choc cravings hit. They used to say in WW, nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
Hi Mumof4: Welcome. Everyone?s different. Read up on alcohol, read other people?s experience and see what resonates with you. Congratulations on being here ? that?s the first step. Yes, fatigue is very common as your body adjusts to no alcohol ? you?ve been putting it through the ringer. Let yourself be tired and sleep/rest as much as you need to. Plus going to bed early is less time thinking about drinking.
BakerExtraordinaire ? Ha, I?ve had that experience, you get yourself all worked up to finally walk into a meeting ? and nada. Keep trying, though I?ve had mixed results in AA, the right women?s group can be very nurturing. I?m also encouraged by others? experience with Smart Recovery and will look into that.
Marieth ? Welcome to a new start! You?ll find lots of support and great advice here.
Finallydone ? Thanks for chiming in. As soon as I finish writing this novel I?m going to get out on my bike.
RE ANTIDEPRESSANTS ? This is a very individual area, not black and white at all. I?ve read that 25% of alcoholics are clinically depressed and taking away the alcohol does not automatically guarantee that the depression will ease. I know I need to be on antidepressants, and am now on one that helps to control my anxiety as well. The only side effect I?m not thrilled about is the sexual dysfunction but hoping that will pass or I?ll definitely be trying something else. When I have gone completely off AD, even with long-term sobriety and being in top physical condition, I eventually succumbed to very dark depression again. Everyone?s different, and there are many many different antidepressants, so do the research and keep an open mind. Much can be gleened from our shared experiences, but we're not trained psychiatrists here.
Sorry for the length; I need to be checking in more frequently. Have a great weekend everyone. Hang tight. Or not, rather
It's great to see you post! And I really believe there needs to be a open honest discussion on Anti Depressants/Anxiety medications and if they are helpful or harmful for both the general population and for people during there early and mid stages of being sober. Let's let the discussion begin and I look forward to a good mature honest debate over it. I believe talking about what are experiences are is very helpful in forging ahead. This place is full of soo many people wanting to keep there lives together and forge ahead. I LOVE IT!!
akaMonique;1356371 wrote: Greetings everyone. Checking in from Day 82 for me (but who's counting?). I apologize in advance; I'm just now catching up and there's so much to catch up on, plus my own "stuff," first and foremost, of course.
Yesterday was my birthday (53), AND Friday. So I was both tired from a long week and wanting to celebrate. Plus I was irked at my ?boyfriend? of 4 years who for the 4th year did NOTHING for my birthday other than to say ?happy birthday.? Oh, and he txted me at the grocery, was I buying myself a cake? (Yes, one piece for myself!) So I was pissed at him, not that I?m hung up on birthdays, but really, nothing? He says he?s getting me an iPad when he has the $$$ (I?ve heard this before) but it?s not the present, it?s the thought. I?d take a single flower and a card. So, yes, wine was sounding good but it wasn?t a serious discussion with myself; just a passing observation, not an option. Though mint moosetracks ice cream definitely was.
The other thing the birthday brought up was thinking about where do I want to be next year on my birthday. I?m grateful that I?m sober now, but what else? What do I want to be proud of? What do I want NOT to regret? I used to be incredibly goal-oriented in my younger days and my life has not been at all dull, and my career has been very rewarding, but the other aspects, my personal spiritual growth, financial stability, weight fluctuations, relationship success; these could all stand for improvement. Problem with all the drinking is that I really didn?t think I?d be around that much longer so I didn?t care. Weird things helped me get sober this time, like realizing I?d never get that quilt made for my son or photo albums put together for him if I was drinking away all my time. (But have I started those yet? Uh, no.)
On a lighter note, I mentioned way back that when I got 30 days I was treating myself to eyelash extensions and I finally did that Thursday night as a combined sobriety present (I?m a firm believer in the rewards concept) and birthday present. Ladies ? I can?t tell you what a ?lift? this gave me. I got so many compliments yesterday but people just said I looked really great; they?re not so noticeable that people know you?ve "done" something but you look fresher in a natural way (mine aren?t rockstar long). No mascara, no smudges under your eyes in the morning, and I can get by with no eye makeup! So that?s my non sequitur beauty tip ?o? the day. Actually, it is relevant; I told my esthetician that I had quit drinking as the first step in a multi-pronged back-to-health plan and she said really? Totally? Usually when people react this way it?s because it?s something they?ve considered so that initiated an interesting conversation. Thankfully, what?s said in spa stays in spa. For me, as I gradually tell people selectively that I?m not drinking, even if I couch it and say, for now, it helps me be more accountable. There are also a few people that I send an email to each week with my number of days. I?d hate to have to start all over again, as I have done many times in the past. The difference now is that I actually take the time and effort to think about that instead of just blindly following the WTF urge.
A few shoutouts ? and hope I haven?t missed anyone!
Lolab: Just think, for many, one drink at a wedding could have been the start of a long binge so good for you for stopping there ? that?s amazing. You?ve rec?d lots of strong feedback. If keeping your sobriety is your number one goal, you might want to consider foregoing social events that you feel are going to make you uncomfortable until you feel up to it.
Desti and Rooni ? as my profile picture says, ?Medicated and Motivated? ? good for you both to be willing to try whatever it takes. My Rx cocktail seems to be working for me; I still have occasional thoughts of drinking, but thankfully not the unruly, uncontrollable, almost trance-like WTF caving-in to those yearnings. Desti ? glad the AB is working for you; you sound great! And Rooni ? we?re already proud of you. Just for being here, being honest and brave, and sharing this crazy journey with us. Sorry about the crappy birthday. Next year can be a different story, you know! Congrats on the new job! And glad you found good support at the SR mtg. That Dr. was definitely uninformed and an asshole. You will both triumph!
FlyAway - Totally agree; you can?t examine the inner workings until the alcohol fog lifts.
Byrdie ? great reminders. And thanks for helping me feel less guilty about the sugar binges I?ve been going through. I don?t want to go from one addiction to another (unless I could miraculously get addicted to, say, exercising for 3 hours a day) but in the beginning it?s important to keep the #1 goal in mind ? no alcohol. I should probably quit hiding choc cake where I used to hide wine
I also really liked ?it?s only 4 hours.? So true, get through the witching hour and you?re home free.Gdog ? Sleep does come back. Definitely one of the huge benefits of not drinking after a couple/three weeks or so for me
Dogwood ? Welcome! This is a great place. Same here. ?not dealing well with life? is the story of my life. I gave away 14 years ? for what? A few hours of relief, celebration, escape ? pretty much every day for the past 7 years, up until May 8th. I?m still reading through the last week of posts and again you mirror my story. I knew I would be useless to myself and others who need and depend on me and love me if I didn?t change.
Banana Split ? your pattern was my pattern. I was at 2+ bottles of wine in the end, with the occasional hard liquor thrown in for good measure. But change is possible (if hellish initially) and you will have a life again that is meaningful and positive if you?re in charge, rather than alcohol
K9 ? thanks for sharing those positive experiences. Very helpful for everyone. Sorry about your dog. Last summer one of my cats racked up $600+ in vet bills ? ugh. Good luck with the job application and hope the migraines have passed!
Dixon ? Hi! We?ve just about the same number of days so thumbs up to us both.
Litre ? you?re almost there to 30 days. Congrats on staying the course.
Itsmytime ? hope you had a great week off and glad you?re doing well. I agree, I?m much less anxious w/o the alcohol and my sense of humor has returned! I?m much sharper again. I also really like: "I'm not depriving myself, I'm loving myself." I?m going to remember that when the sugar/choc cravings hit. They used to say in WW, nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
Hi Mumof4: Welcome. Everyone?s different. Read up on alcohol, read other people?s experience and see what resonates with you. Congratulations on being here ? that?s the first step. Yes, fatigue is very common as your body adjusts to no alcohol ? you?ve been putting it through the ringer. Let yourself be tired and sleep/rest as much as you need to. Plus going to bed early is less time thinking about drinking.
BakerExtraordinaire ? Ha, I?ve had that experience, you get yourself all worked up to finally walk into a meeting ? and nada. Keep trying, though I?ve had mixed results in AA, the right women?s group can be very nurturing. I?m also encouraged by others? experience with Smart Recovery and will look into that.
Marieth ? Welcome to a new start! You?ll find lots of support and great advice here.
Finallydone ? Thanks for chiming in. As soon as I finish writing this novel
I?m going to get out on my bike.RE ANTIDEPRESSANTS ? This is a very individual area, not black and white at all. I?ve read that 25% of alcoholics are clinically depressed and taking away the alcohol does not automatically guarantee that the depression will ease. I know I need to be on antidepressants, and am now on one that helps to control my anxiety as well. The only side effect I?m not thrilled about is the sexual dysfunction but hoping that will pass or I?ll definitely be trying something else. When I have gone completely off AD, even with long-term sobriety and being in top physical condition, I eventually succumbed to very dark depression again. Everyone?s different, and there are many many different antidepressants, so do the research and keep an open mind. Much can be gleened from our shared experiences, but we're not trained psychiatrists here.
Sorry for the length; I need to be checking in more frequently. Have a great weekend everyone. Hang tight. Or not, rather
It's great to see you post! And I really believe there needs to be a open honest discussion on Anti Depressants/Anxiety medications and if they are helpful or harmful for both the general population and for people during there early and mid stages of being sober. Let's let the discussion begin and I look forward to a good mature honest debate over it. I believe talking about what are experiences are is very helpful in forging ahead. This place is full of soo many people wanting to keep there lives together and forge ahead. I LOVE IT!!
inkele:
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