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    Newbies Nest

    damn

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      Newbies Nest

      somebody say something damn it

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        Newbies Nest

        bluburd;1357023 wrote: somebody say something damn it
        Wassup Bluburd?
        You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life? Rumi

        :lilangel:

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          Newbies Nest

          life feels heavy freefly

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            Newbies Nest

            Hey Bluburd, Sorry nipped out. Do you feel like talking? Anything I can do to help? I'm all ears if you need to chat.
            You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life? Rumi

            :lilangel:

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              Newbies Nest

              wings broke

              What really gets me is the snap from sober to no. it's like once the thought enters it takes over. I push it back push it back but it's no use. slightly dishearten. blah

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                Newbies Nest

                Blue - Sorry for your pain. We all know the voice. Keep fighting. Rengage.

                Starting my 31 days today. Looking forard to getting some bigger numbers under my belt.

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                  Newbies Nest

                  Blue...you're still here, talking, seeking. It's not over, YOU'RE STILL HERE!

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                    Newbies Nest

                    LITER HAS 30 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                    On behalf of the nest....(which is bursting with pride!!) It is my honor to bestow upon you....your hat! :day5: It seems like you just joined us yesterday! After those first 2 weeks the days just stack up, no?? We are all so proud of you!!! Any words of wisdom? A small acceptance speech? What was different this time that made your mind play along with you? Well done!! Byrdie
                    All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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                      Newbies Nest

                      Litre - a BIG FAT CONGRATULATIONS!!!! You did it!! Now keep on going!!!! You rock!!

                      Blueburd - Nothing to do but get right back on course. Learn from your mistake, and move on! Get a couple of AF free days under your belt, and you will feel empowered again. You made a wrong exit off the AF highway, but you can always turn around and go right back!

                      FYI, everyone - I just made an appointment at my primary physician's office on Wednesday to get a prescription of Antabuse. I'm meeting with a female PA who I have never met before. I hope she doesn't disappoint me! I am on Day 3 AF today, so I should be five days by the time I talk to her.

                      Hope everyone is having a great Monday so far, and if you aren't, just stay sober, and I guarantee tomorrow will be soooo much better!

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                        Newbies Nest

                        Bluburd....it sucks doesn't it? I bet blowing your 9 days wasn't what you had built it up to be in your mind....correct me if I'm wrong. The wonderful bliss that you imagined...well, it was more like...pathetic, right? Yep...I know that feeling well. I got to 12 days twice!! The second time it was 8 o'clock at night, I HAD THE DAY MADE!! I was thru the witchiing hour and was in a good place and about to break my record! My husband went downstairs and I got Dick Head (Addiction Head) and I ran to the kitchen, poured a big coffee mug full of wine and GULPED it down. DAM!! Why the hell did I do that??

                        Can you tell us what got you? I totally understand once that thinking sets in, there's no stopping it...but that is the pill....there IS some stopping it. Whatever you are doing at that moment, change course...start naming your cousins, recite the lord's prayer, go to the bathroom...grab a cracker...anything to break that LOOP of thinking! I'm telling you it works. Have you ever seen a dog a that gets fixed on something...almost in a trance with it?? That's how a craving seems to us...but if someone slaps his hands the dog snaps out of it and can focus on something else. Same with these thoughts, they are ONLY thoughts...they do NOT have to be acted upon. You CAN push thru them....this is where having a good plan comes into play. What might have gotten you NOT to take that drink??? Write it down and some other things too....because on your next day 9, you may need them so you can fight thru them. They physical dependancy is passed...now it's all upstairs....you'll have to pull out the big guns for this one. You did the right thing in coming here...but try to come here BEFORE it gets you...someone is usually around to help! Please don't let this derail you, get right back up on the balance beam and carry on! If I can do it, you can do it!!! Byrdie
                        All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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                          Newbies Nest

                          Roon, that is great news!!! I'm so excited for you!!! Next month this time we will be getting your hat ready!! Well done on these AF days!! It feels so good to get that poison out of your body! Can't wait to hear how it goes at the Dr's this time! B
                          All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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                            Newbies Nest

                            Byrdie--Thanks for the hat, no speech, I will tell you why. When I was 14 years of age my loving Mom talked me into entering a pagent in our local town. I had a beautiful speech. I was the second to say mine. The first girl forgot hers and stumbled alot. When I went up, feeling confidant, I stood there and looked out at all the hundreds of people. My mind went blank, and I said "SHOOT", any idea what shoot sounds like over a PA. :huh:
                            I guess there is a reason I never ran for any Office of any kind.

                            GDog-Working on Day 31, is only slightly different from Day 3 or 4. We just set our mind and stay true to the course. You can do it.

                            Rooni-You have such a positive attitude these days, sounds great

                            Itsmy-I am the same as far as remembering whos who and whats what. I simply jog little comments down, that way I can cover what I wish to say. Normally, sometimes I do tend to get long winded.

                            Monique-How right you are, it truely is the small things that mean so much to us. For your man to stand by you while you detoxed is huge. My Mr Negative took that time to try and toss me, he was insulting, accusing and just down right mean, till I took my leave.
                            Having someone stand by us when we need it the most is something we all wish we had and should cherish it. So yes you have your perspectives right, and you were right not to jump the gun about your BD.

                            Byrdie-NUMB AND NUMBER- so true. I also am seeing life in full colour for the first time in years. After my Mom passed 5 years ago, I could not deal with her loss. I should have been sent to grief counselling instead of AD. I was lucky however, while I was in the hospital the Dr helped me off the meds.
                            Now when I hear my most favourite song by Louis Armstrong "What a Wonderful World" it truely speaks to me and my heart grows.

                            Lola-I cannot agree more, with my experience I do think AD are over perscribed.

                            Blu-You will get the best of the beast yet. As other nesters have said, you are still reading and posting. The same one caught up to me after 3 months AF, except for me I was trying to drown out a live voice as well as the beast. Now after 30 days with only myself to contend with I am happier and healthier. I love life and everything it has to offer.

                            FD-As LOLA said AD are over perscribed, I feel you are very lucky your Dr has recommended you taper. Sounds like smart medical advice. I wish mine had done that. Instead he ignored all the signs. As I have said earlier, I am happier today. I see life through rose coloured glasses and my cup is half full if not more.
                            Goal
                            I am starting over as of Sept 6
                            SHIT this is so stupid (I hate AL)

                            AF since June 30, 2012
                            be AF for 7 days yea done:yay::yay:
                            be AF for 21 days July 21, 2012 boy I did it
                            be AF for 30 Days July 30, 2012 I have done it:thanks: to all the nesters
                            Now to be AF for 60 days Aug 29---blew it
                            Work to be AF for 90 days Sept 28---blew it

                            I have been AF for 1 month Oct, 2011
                            I have been AF before for 3 months Mar 16, 2011-July 2010

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                              Newbies Nest

                              I wish to wish all the nesters and newbies a wonder AF week, enjoy. We all stumble sometimes, but as long as we pick ourselves up and brush ourselves off we are good to go.
                              Goal
                              I am starting over as of Sept 6
                              SHIT this is so stupid (I hate AL)

                              AF since June 30, 2012
                              be AF for 7 days yea done:yay::yay:
                              be AF for 21 days July 21, 2012 boy I did it
                              be AF for 30 Days July 30, 2012 I have done it:thanks: to all the nesters
                              Now to be AF for 60 days Aug 29---blew it
                              Work to be AF for 90 days Sept 28---blew it

                              I have been AF for 1 month Oct, 2011
                              I have been AF before for 3 months Mar 16, 2011-July 2010

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                                Newbies Nest

                                My beloved Cocker Spaniel, Charlie, passed away at 3:30am on Sunday. I think he was having a series of little strokes. He lost control of his body and was unable to stand or walk. I held him for hours. I talked to him and sang to him. He took his last breath at 3:30am in my arms.

                                Sleep well, my sweet, sweet boy. Attached files [img]/converted_files/1910873=6939-attachment.jpg[/img]
                                :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                                Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

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