Newbies Nest

[Dogwood Blossom]

Newbies Nest

No BigCol, if they don't have the addiction, they don't get it! I've heard it said many time, "Why don't you just not drink...you know you can't?!?" Well, duh! They've stated the obvious, but they don't know how to make the desire go away! That's what we're here trying to work out. Hang in.

[Mick]

Newbies Nest

Big Col go for it.. you have already done the hard bit..learning to walk..all you need to do now is keep walking

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Peeps! I am just doing a quick check in because I have a busy day ahead of me and have to get my ass in gear...ha!

For everyone here that is jut starting their journey...stay strong. It is so great that you found us and the best thing to do is read back over the posts. You will find that we are so much the same in our battles with AL. It's nice to know that you are not alone and it's equally nice to have a place where you can be brutally honest without fear of being judged. I have found that opening up and posting exactly how you feel is such a freeing experience!!!! Good luck to you all!

Happy AF Friday everyone!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

BigC...hang with us...we have all craved AL so bad our mouths watered. It is HARD but once you get thru one, you are armed for the next one. They last about 15 minutes. You do NOT have to give in this time. THIS is your time to win. I'm so glad you have joined us...your outlook will be unbelievably different in a day or 2. If you are like us, AL hasn't been fun for a very long time.

Where is K9 with her Friday pep rally? Fridays were by far my most challenging day for me (still are, in many ways). Do not throw or attend the pity party...everyone else is NOT drinking after work today...happy couples are NOT gazing into each others' eyes with a glass of wine in every restaurant...this is The Voice! Don't fall for it...it's a trick! Don't give up your quit no matter what or no matter who!! You can do it! Byrdie

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

Today I am going to try to be more positive. I have felt very depressed after my conversation with my daugher. I have not given into the beast, and only think about it for a nano second. I raised my children to be independant, I guess too much so. I am very lonely for them. In the summer they are busy boating, fishing and enjoying their families. In the winter the weather is poor for travel. I have to get my:xxx:in gear and start looking for work. I came to this city for the opportunity and have not done so. I have been so consumed with my sobriety and the new move. I guess my problem these days is :imlonely:
The nest has been great, but the computer does not give warm hugs. My sister in law told me to tell my kids, but they are intellegent, and no it is not the fact that I was drinking. They party. So now I am the odd man (woman) out.
OKAY ENOUGH WHINNING

Its- I am glad I am not the only one having a pity party, problem is no one comes, wonder why. I am very happy the beast has not pulled you in. Keep it up. Maybe we both can find that ray of sunshine and do what the song says (DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY) Boy was that one over played, but sometimes comes in handy

Cash-Day 6 can only get better, I think it is Day 7 now for it is Friday. The only thing to make it better is for your sinuses to stop hurting

Jenne-This is such a terrible merry go round we are on. A journal is a wonderful idea, I have kept one on and off for most of my life. For the past few months I have kept one fairly regular. Also keep coming back to the nest, there are alot of uplifting stories, and moral support. So read and post, it will work.

Next-Rough patches seem to be the norm when we are trying to quit. It took the loss of a life for me to sit up and take a look at my life style. As Monique said, sometimes we need help to point us in the right direction. All of us in the nest are here for you:h

Yoga-So true, the smile, hug and soft kisses from a child are so unconditional. You could not have said it better.

Mick- :thanks: for your confidence. I see many moons of AF ahead of me

Big-We are here for you in the nest. Having a supportive wife is a huge part of staying sober. It is true, she may not understand, but the fact is, she is there for you

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Litre, I wish you could come hang out with me, I have 3 birthday cakes to make this weekend and I'm nervous! I have to make a Princess and some small princesses for her 'court'... what have I gotten myself into? Could use a hand!! I'm in NC, you need to be here by 10 in the morning. Thanks. B

:bonkers:

[Yogamom]

Newbies Nest

Good morning! Litre, It sounds like u raised your kids right. Now is your time to try some new things, meet new folk, etc.

Byrd...do u make cakes for a living? I need to make a cake for my daughter's bday today. A princess cake sounds above my level of expertise!

Big Col, it is so great that your wife is there for u. That is one less hurdle. You can do this, there is so much support here.

It is hot here today and dh comes back Sun day night so no drinking, but how bout some cleaning?? That would make me so proud to welcome him home to a clean house. Not hungover. That is my weekend goal. I just have to visualize how I will feel when he walks in the door.

Everyone else...stay close and stay sober!

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

:yougo::yougo:IT'S FRIDAY:yougo::yougo:

Let's get the pep rally started! I hope everyone is having a good day and feeling stronger with each passing AF day. Yes, there will be rough patches, but they DO pass. I just got through the death of a beloved doggie sober, I always thought something like that would be my trigger to drink. But I made it through, and now feel even stronger. If I had been drinking the night he died, I'm sure I wouldn't have woken up for his last few minutes. That's a sad thought, but I WAS with him because I wasn't passed out due to stupid alcohol. I never would have forgiven myself if I'd missed the last minutes of his life due to that crap! Instead, I am completely at peace with the way he passed (Love you Charlie Boy! :dog

I hope everyone can stay strong this weekend. Stay close to the Nest...read and post as much as you need to. Remember: A craving never lasts as long as a hangover, and nobody ever woke up in the morning thinking "I wish I'd drank last night!"

xoxoxo
K9

[Dogwood Blossom]

Newbies Nest

K9, well into my 1st 20 years, I use to wonder, what could make me forget what I'd done and take that first drink? The death of a family member, the loss of a pet, (that is huge for me too K9), problems at work, losing a friend, what? I thought I was prepared for anything, but I wasn't. About the time my boys had grown and gone from home, my Dad had a massive stroke, which he survived but it left him in pretty bad shape.

It may sound silly to some, but all of a sudden I found myself in a totally different position. Yes, I was still a Mom, but nobody needed "Mothering!" I had built a great relationship with my Dad, but now he could no longer talk with me. I found myself in a very strange and different place and one day while I was visiting my Dad I passed a liquor & wine store. I don't even remember how it progressed, but one thought became two and so on and so on and before I knew what had hit me, I was sneaking bottles of wine into my house, sitting up half the night drinking, and sneaking empties out!

AL is cunning and baffling. It wasn't a huge thing that chased me back, it was an accumulation of many smaller situations that were out of my control and sent me spinning. 1 day, 1 week, 1 year, or 20 years... you just don't forget what allowing Al into your life will do to you!

Day 11! Starting again! I feel better, (& look better), than I have in about 5 years, even after just 11 days. I will have to do it just like I did the 20 years.....one day at a time. For now, I wish myself and all of you an AF weekend. I can promise you it gets better and it is worth it!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good afternoon Nesters!

I thought I'd pop into the nest to see what everyone's plans are for the weekend. Having a solid plan to keep myself busy & my mind off of drinking was very important in the beginning. Don't leave anything to chance - be a gigantic control freak on you own behalf
I actually didn't leave the house unless I absolutely had to for the first three months. Fortunately, I work from home :H
Making your sobriety the #1 thing in your life is a must!

Dogwood, sounds like life really piled up on you, huh? Just glad you are here with us now!

K9, you sound good, I'm happy

Yogamom, we are both east coast dwellers - the heat & humidity just gets worse & worse, don't you think? How come the thunder storms don't clear the air anymore?

Litre, it takes time to adjust to this new way of life!
Yes, your sobriety needs to be #1 but adjusting to a move & looking for a new job will just take a bit of time. Be kind to yourself & we will try to provide plenty of hugs :l

Greetings & a big thank you to Byrdie - the best assistant nest mum, ever :goodjob:

Have a wonderful AF afternoon & evening all!
Lav

[Next, please]

Newbies Nest

Hello,

Thanks so much for the support. Funny thing about smoking pot is that when I have a stash, I smoke non-stop. But, if I don't, it's okay. I don't get that AL demon telling me "get it, get it" not to say that I want to even continue to smoke, just interesting how AL has such a stronger hold on me. I live in Los Angeles where I can buy pot just as easily as wine,but the pharmacy just doesnt call my name. However, when I do have...game on.

So, in my quest to get sober, I'm not just not going to buy any pot. Why the FREAK can't I just do the same with AL?? I am going to go over and read the toolbox that everyone mentions and get my plan. But isn't the plan...don't drink?

You guys are SO great. There is so much comfort in knowing I'm not alone...although, I wish I were. I wish none of you ever had to deal with this insanity.

I just need to figure out how to start.

[mama bear]

Newbies Nest

just popping in to wish everyone a safe, sober weekend

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

YogaMom - I was telling my SO this morning that one thing I like about participating on this thread is how someone can post something that makes me think about things I wouldn't otherwise. That is such an inarticulate sentence for a writer - oh well... Anyhoo, your goal of cleaning is a great one. Especially these early days. In fact, that was one of my tools, and I didn't have many. But I'd tackle sorting out one drawer, or vacuuming one room, then I would get swept up in it, so to speak. Plus, there's something extremely cathartic and metaphoric (is that even a word? if not it should be!) to be cleaning up and cleaning out when you're doing the same to yourself. Plus, I know that when I was drinking, I either wasted money paying a cleaning person because I didn't want to give up any of my couch/wine time on the weekend to clean my house, or I just let it go until it was as disgusting as I was. Just to have the energy and inclination to take enough pride in my house to clean it was a big deal for me, and a positive use of time. And I did it primarily for me, because I live alone. Though the SO spends a fair amount of time here as well.

Litre - I was devastated when my only son/child went to live with his Dad 3 years ago instead of finishing out high school here (he just graduated in June) - which was the reason, the school here isn't up to par (very very small town) and he was anxious to be back in a metro area. Within weeks I went through the premature grief of being an empty nester, something I thought was way in the future. I was not at all prepared and was drinking at the time which only made it worse. Loneliness is just one of many triggers for us. And admitting it is really brave. I can totally understand not wanting to let on too much to your kids how you feel, you don't want to come across as "poor me" and I agree with Yogamom that you've done something right to raise them to be independent (I feel the same about my son - he has such a cool, goes-with-the-flow attitude. Luckily he didn't inherit my sensitivities or proclivities, knock on wood.) I don't have much advice on this one other than if you find work that you like, that will be a huge help, but you definitely have my empathy.

Big C - I can already tell you're going to be a strong influence on this board. Even though this board isn't about AA, the chapter to the families in the Big Book has some good info (the whole book has good info) - I definitely saw myself in it when I first read it 25+ years ago and still do today.

Mick - Belated congrats on your 30 days - love to hear your energy and enthusiasm!

Finally - Glad things went well with the boss ...

Dogwood Blossom - It wasn't a huge thing that chased me back, it was an accumulation of many smaller situations that were out of my control and sent me spinning. 1 day, 1 week, 1 year, or 20 years... you just don't forget what allowing Al into your life will do to you! Once again, OMG, I *so* understand. I didn't even have the excuse of a tragedy or drama, it was excitement and pride/joy -- and also taking my sobriety for granted and assuming that it would be forevermore -- that was my undoing after 14 years sober. I had received a phone call from an editor that my article was being published in The Washington Post - a huge first for me ... and I was home alone, my then 2nd husband out of town and my son with his dad. There was essentially no thinking it through, no "what am I doing - ending my 14 years"; it was just childish, this is what I want and I want it now. The Kahlua and vodka that was always in the cabinet (the 2nd ex was a 'normal' drinker - ie rarely) and had never been an issue suddenly called out to me. I barely hesitated. Had two drinks in quick succession the K & V with milk - a white Russian? And that was it. For that time being. I sorta pretended it didn't happen and didn't tell anyone, including the AA mtgs that I attended infrequently and AA friends that I occasionally hung with. It was not until about a year later when I realized the marriage - as Gotye puts it - could not make sense, that I started drinking again off and on for the next seven years, more off in the beginning and totally on at the end. What if I hadn't had those 2 drinks 7-8 years ago, endiing 14 years of sobriety? Maybe I would have withstood the stress and grief of the 2nd divorce? Do I regret the silly and short-lived buzz of those self-congratulatory drinks? Indeed. How different would my life be today? Hard to tell. Some very very good things have happened during those 7 years as well, including the divorce, a long-distance move to a place I love, my job, buying a house (which I lost during the recession), my SO, my car (how petty is that but I love my Jeep!), on the outside my life has looked pretty good. Maybe that's why they say everything happens for a reason and where you are, wherever that is and whatever the circumstances, your life is happening exactly the way it's supposed to. So don't be too hard on yourself. Just get through it and see what's next. Cheers to Day 11 and many more days to come!

Happy Friday everyone. Stay the course, whatever that means for you.

[Cashregister]

Newbies Nest

Well here I m on day 7 and it's a glorious morning after a cold foggy start. Have some heavy duty antibiotics for the sinuses and feeling a bit better - not in bed for sure! Have a great weekend all

[nellie78]

Newbies Nest

Just a quick one as its 01:30 am - 12 hr all day hen do done - three sips of wine all day. Never ever before have I done this. So proud of myself x