Newbies Nest

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

Day 4 for me. Feeling great but I must admit, I feel a little overwhelmed by all the reading, posting, AA meetings, talking to sponsor.....part of me wants to just shut it all out .... did that ever happen to you?
Looking forward to another AF day!!!

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

jenniech, I didn't do AA, so I can imagie you might feel a little "bombarded"...I know in the beginning, I only stuck to the newbies nest (still do for the most part) and I didn't go overboard addressing specific people or offering support of my own. I used MWO as MY support - and the place where I could be selfish in asking for more...And I got it. As you know, there will always be someone here to lift you up. It might take a little fine tuning of your plan - to come up with a comfortable middle ground where you are still feeling committed and supported but not overwhelmed. You are doing GREAT! And I loved your comment about not feeling sorry for yourself this time. That's KEY.

Hi Cat - it sound like you have a solid plan - whatever it is, keep doing it! super job on day 5!

Hi Beffy and Cash and finallydone - thanks for checking in. Beffy, I hope your pups better today...poor baby. Cash - day 11 is great - Byrdie believes there is a tough period just before day 13 - might be what you're experiencing - I think it's almost like climbing a staircase - if you were an ant I guess. LOL....some days are easy...then you hit a patch that's tough - totally uphill...but always remember there's a nice easy flat part once you get up there...and you can always look back down and realize how much further up you got by making it past the rough part! Every difficult phase or "step" leaves us with more insight and strength.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie, I'm with Lav...I want to make those, and I don't even really like pineapple upside down cake!

and the rest are adorable, too. You made someone's day!

[itsmytime]

Newbies Nest

Hi Fellow Nesters,

Feeling much better today and thanks to you all and my amazing hubby. We were talking last night about the AV rearing it's ugly head and he said "you really want to stop this time" and I do. He will not enable me. It's not easy the first while and I love myself so much more when I am AF, or I should say I love myself period when I am AF because I sure don't when I am blacking out and making an a$$ of myself.

Lav - I will check out Amoryn, thanks.

Well, Day 24 wow closing in on 30 yay!!

Have a great day all

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Happy Humpday Nesters

Just wanted to drop in & say hello & congrats to everyone making progress on their AF journey.
I have to run out & take care of things before the steambath returns for a few more days
I will be happy to see the end of this ridiculous summer heat & humidity!!

Wishing everyne a great AF Wednesday - I'll be back later
Lav

[Gdog]

Newbies Nest

Good morning all. Feeling discouraged as I stumble along this road. Just wish I could make a clean break. I enjoyed (sort of ) reading the post on divorce v. death. It seems like yes that making that shift to never ever drinking again would be a liberation. For some reason I just dance around this issue and make tremendous noise. Probably the noise is some silly substitute for the actual correct action. I was with some friends over the weekend and we were having a time of sharing and encouragement. One guy said to all of us is there something you know you need to stop or surrender. The idea was guys would name it for encouragement and freedom. Anyway my palms were sweating and I just could not do it. Could not name alcohol. I feel no guilt, only sadness.
So full confession is for some reason I am not all the way there. I still keep setting time goals as you can see. Two weeks ago I made it 4 days. Now the hope is 5. By its very nature this both helps and hurts me. Being a sprinter of sorts in life these things wire me up to succeed. On the other hand no one can sprint for to very long, and truly only a pleasant steady jog through the rest of life AF will be the ultimate way.
We are trying to take my 17 year old to drug counseling if we can get him to go. My 18 year old son just made a major life change and is doing fantastic and free from addiction for the first time in a few years. My 13 year old son is watching. He needs an AF father. One that plants a flag or a stake in the ground and says enough. I will lead by example. Telling the tribe to stop the insanity while doing myself is insane in and of itself. Greater love has no one than this than they lay down there life for there friend (family).
It strikes me in all the ways that my wife and kids could be loved by me none would be greater than this. For others maybe something else would be greater, but for me being AF is it. Today I purpose to lay down my life for them and myself. To say that even though drinking is not wrong, and it provides a sort of way and easing of life being so dog gone hard, it is and has been proven to be a way of death in my life and my family.
Towards an addiction free day that might be some miracle grow into an addiction free life.
Cheers.

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Great, heartfelt post Gdog!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Wow, Gdog, there is just a point where enough is enough...and it sounds as if you are there. We are all pulling for you!

Hey FinallyDone, I may need to edit my post on HOPE, it may have come across wrong...Amazingly, being AF DOES give us all HOPE for our futures! We recognize that we do have a life worth living! Hope springs eternal once AL gets out of the way of being priority one. The hope I was speaking of refers to the hope of drinking again...introducing AL back and doing so moderately. That is the hope (for ME) that I finally had to get go of. Like computers, I use a different operating system...I operate out of fear! I try to stay ahead of what will land me in dismal consequences.

The beauty of MWO to me, is that it allows me to live 'The Christmas Carol'. Here I can see the ghosts of Christmas' past, present and future. I know (very well) what all 3 look like. I do NOT want to go backwards...I have more hope than ever!!
I'm sorry if I gave that impression it was not my intent. But for me, drinking again would be a first class ticket to the past, and I don't want to play there anymore.
Here's to an AF Wednesday! Byrdie

[Gdog]

Newbies Nest

Byrd - I am believing that Hope thing (hope of drinking moderately) is what is the splinter in the brain. Drives me mad keeping it in there. No question that the only true path for me is total AF.

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Hey Gdog, just wanted to lend you some support and let you know that I'm pulling for you too. Have you sat down and made a plan? It sounds like you have some good friends there for support too.

I hope everyone else has a great AF week!

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

Lavande;1361352 wrote: Evening Nesters!

Now I HAVE to make those pineapple upside down cakes - so cute :H

IMT, I gave up a Rx AD due to so many side effects & started using an OTC combo product with St Johns Wort a couple of months before I stopped drinking. My anxiety all but disappeared
If you want some info on the product:
AMORYN Mood Booster | Natural Supplement for Depression & Anxiety

Monique, the sugar beast caught up with me too for a while but it didn't last long. I did use some L-Glutamine to help me kick it's butt!!!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the Nest!
See you all tomorrow - hump day already!

Lav

Lavande, thanks for posting 2 great suggestions. The AMORYN site is interesting and I never would have thought about L-Glut for sugar cravings but makes so much sense!

Feeling good today; it's my Friday already since I'm taking a couple of days off while my son's home.

Have a good one, everyone!

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Day 5, and here are some of the things I'm thinking about today as I peer into my future - a sober woman:

* I will drive my car wherever and whenever I want, without having to fear getting a DUI or having an alcohol-related accident
* I will not die from any ailment caused by alcohol.
* I will be available in time of emergency.
* I will not cancel plans because of being drunk or hungover.
* If I feel badly in the mornings, it's because I am legitamely sick, not hungover.
* I will not waste any more money in bars.
* None of the points that i log in for Weight Watchers will come from alcohol.
* I will change my friends, habits, and places where I hang out.
* I will be more active because I will feel better.
* I will kick butt at work.

And most importantly, I will be the person I have always wanted to be. I WILL BE PROUD OF MYSELF.

Have a great day, everyone, and stick to your plan. GDog - you are sooo on the verge of changing your life forever. Just do it!!!! :-)

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

OK, I'm back

Gdog, my kids are grown with kids of their own now but boy do I remember all the angst!
Funny thing is - I didn't start my serious drinking until after they wer grown & gone. It was tough as hell but I always stay focused on them & their needs, basically ignoring my own.

It seems that holding on to the dream of moderating is really keeping you from making progress. What is it about AL that makes you hang on so hard? Is it the buzz, the escape? Have you actually tired another way to create those warm & fuzzy feelings? This is where the Hypno CDs really worked for me. Have you tried them yet? I used them daily for well over a year, got hooked on them really. I have since branched out into other forms of meditation thanks to www.chhopra.com & Wildmind Buddhist Meditation - Learn Meditation Online It's all free stuff & very effective ~ give it a try. You need to take care of yourself so you can give your boys the support & good example they need right now

Hi Daisy, Byrdie & Pinecone

Monique, I am just full of suggestions :H
I am more than happy to share here what has worked for me. Enjoy your time off!

Hang on to your hope kids.......
We all have the ability to create a better future for ourselves & those around us!

Lav

[Gdog]

Newbies Nest

Lavande,
Probably the escape. That and maybe the feeling of being with friends socially and how the drinks somehow seem so soothing. Soothing until I get home and have more. Soothing until I drink on my own.
In a few weeks I start a contemplative prayer time that will hopefully be much like the meditation you discuss. Been looking forward to this for some time. It starts 9/1.
Feel like 8 years old again first time up on the high dive. Man it looks scary up here. What if it hurts.
Time to jump in.

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

Cashregister;1361444 wrote: Hi guys I'm on day 11 and doing well - life's been hard lately so I'm proud if myself seems like all my triggers went off at once but I'm dealing with it.
I wanted to share this with you - my daughter sent it to me a minute ago - i think it's very funny and sometimes life feels so serious and intense when you are AF , read to the end it's a ROFL I reckon Hyperbole and a Half: This is Why I'll Never be an Adult

I LOVE Hyperboleandahalf! She seems to know us. I was ROTFL from her depression post. Close to home.

Kudos for pushing through the triggers - I'm having some myself. A little down, but not out!