Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Gdog, it IS scary. Being up on the high dive is an apt analogy. How can I possibly do this? It is a big change to say the least. It is a change in the way we go about our daily business. A change in the way we cope with life. That's a hard thing to let go. If I can give you one gift...it would be that of hindsight AND foresight. With some real AF time under my belt, I can tell you this... the scary part is if I hadn't changed. I can tell you that being sober isn't anything to fear at all! Look at all the posts of the ones with AF time, these people feel good! They feel hopeful! They FEEL! It's a learning curve, no doubt...when times get really hard I still catch myself wanting to hide away from it all...but I am learning how to deal with life now....and better than I ever did before.

Just approach this as if you were going to set out to eat an elephant....do it one bite at a time. Byrdie

[Gdog]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie - I hear you. I think the thing that keeps tripping me up is that part of me that negotiates and leaves a crack open for the future. That is REALLY hard to get rid of. But - to use your analogy - just today. That bite I can work on.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

GDog....that was my approach...so much so, that I made it my by-line....all you gotta do is get thru this day! B

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

I will miss the taste of wine, but not the dizziness, slurred words, falling, passing out, blacking out, hangovers, etc. Aside from the taste (whihc I can replace with something else) I have this tremendous anxiety....I am on Day 4....everyone tells me it gets better but can anyone tell me when?

I feel like i am about to jump out of my skin

[itsmytime]

Newbies Nest

Hi Jennie,

The first months can be a roller coaster. I just went through a couple of days of high anxiety. It's our brains recovering. We have been saturating them for so long, time for them to heal. From my past experience with quitting for 5 years - I kick myself for starting again, but that's a whole other story - the first while was rough, but then the fog lifted and it was amazing.

Hang in there, with each rough spot we make it through it's one step closer to freedom.

I am looking into natural anxiety relievers as recommended on this site - Amoryn. It's looks promising

[Hope12]

Newbies Nest

New here and need some support

:new:

Hi, everyone. I have been a lurker for some time, but have gained so much inspiration from this site. I would like to join your community, get a plan and benefit from the support I see here. Thanks!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Jenn...Day 7 is big. I think that once you have all 7 days under control your thinking settles down a lot. But Day 13 was the Magic day for me. Something clicked in my head and I KNEW this was something I could do. Your emotions will be all over the place but stay the course! (you don't ever want to have to do this again!). You can do it!! Whenever you get a bad urge...eat something. When your tummy is full, it shuts your head up for a while, which is a good thing. Stay hydrated, and keep busy! I am so proud of your 4 days! If you went the last 15 minutes without AL, you can go the next 15! Well done! B

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hey Hope! Hop right in!! Normally I would urge you to read back a couple of weeks and get to know us....but if you've been lurking, then you know us already. What happened that brought you by?
Settle in and talk for a while. Sometimes just seeing yourself write the words helps. We are glad you found us...we have lots of success here. Byrdie

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie- just checked in after a few days to myself to veg, and I think I may be a bit late to give you a hand. Sorry, but I think the Princess and the court did just fine compliments of you

[Litre2]

Newbies Nest

Today is still AF, but have felt like being alone, and was not up to reading all the posts, sorry nesters. I hope all have been strong. Over the past few days, I have really felt like tying one on, only because my dear Man, who was so nasty to me told me all was not true. He still loves me and is so happy I did not move on. Then the same thing happens, he begins to be Mr loving, and wait, is that rubber I smell, yep. The brakes are on again. Seems when he is confronted by the ex, or and ex-girlfriend he closes the door to me. So I have been down, but not out. So I will check with my friends here in the nest soon. Again, I hope all are well.

[Honeysoup]

Newbies Nest

Hello my friends!

Welcome newbies...you are in good hands here. Keep close and it will help you on your journey.

Jenni its Day 4 for me too! I went to AA last night...and was swarmed with numbers from all different ages. It's so crazy to hear thoughts from other people that I think all the time. Last night was about the obsession of the mind. My mind is not as obsessed this time around than from others. But still...it feels like something is missing now in my life and I don't know how to replace it or what to do with my time. It's strange...I hope I figure out something bc I don't want to go back to that hell of blacking out, shame, guilt...getting sick, being hungover and pushing myself so know one will notice. But I am sure they do anyway.

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

Hi honeysoup! I have been going to AA every day this week.....feel a bit overwhelmed by it all. And now
CRISIS
someone at work was in an awful car accident and will be out of the office indefinitely. My boss is now dumping EVERYTHING on me.
Last year, when I started in on the really heavy drinking HE was on leave and i was doing all of HIS work.
So, here it goes again. I am desparately stressed and losing my will....HELP

[Cashregister]

Newbies Nest

akaMonique;1361639 wrote: I LOVE Hyperboleandahalf! She seems to know us. I was ROTFL from her depression post. Close to home.

Kudos for pushing through the triggers - I'm having some myself. A little down, but not out!

She's a very savvy lady - glad you like it too it's good being AF because you get the time to actually find out what the triggers are. When not AF you just don't get reflective enough to see them.

I see people struggling here and all I can say is what works for me and that is to distract myself and do things that I wouldn't be able to do if I was drinking, having hangovers etc. music, dog walking, catching up on tv shows I missed, reading...and if I think I want to have a couple because I'm going through a pretty rough time with a very sick father who I dont know if he's going to pull through or not, I rationalize with myself - how much worse would this be if I wasn't AF - and that really helps.

Day 12 today

Cashy xx

[pixie]

Newbies Nest

Gdog;1361632 wrote:
Probably the escape. That and maybe the feeling of being with friends socially and how the drinks somehow seem so soothing. Soothing until I get home and have more. Soothing until I drink on my own.

Gdog, you summed up exactly what I felt I was losing. A comfort and an escape, something you feel like you can always fall back on, like a good friend.

But what I'm finally realizing is that's an outdated view of my relationship with AL. When things got progressively worse, I still had that comforting view of it, like I was ignoring the present ugliness and only remembering the good times.

Maybe you need to remind yourself of the current reality of your relationship with AL. Are the few minutes of escape and soothing really worth everything that goes with it now?

You sound good Gdog, like you're slowly but surely changing your mindset. Some people seem to have a revelation like a lightning strike, others do the slow and steady thing. I'm on a glacial path, but getting there.

Hope - Welcome! :welcome: Stick around.

[pixie]

Newbies Nest

Cashy - I just read your link to Hyperboleandahalf - that was hilarious! And so true, unfortunately.