Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Rooni...isn't it amazing to be seeing your former world thru sober eyes?? I was saying something on another thread that I can now spot another ALkie a mile away....cause I know what they do and why. I'm so proud of you, once you can get a little distance in the rear view mirror it's absolutely amazing at what you see. (not all of it pretty).

You sound like a completely different person than you did 2 weeks ago....

Jenn and Jenn, isn't it nice to have a nest mate to hang with? Great going to you both. Everyone else, stay strong tonight....there's never a good reason to quit your quit!! Zero Tolerance!! Hugs, B

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

good for you Rooni - look on the bright side...you know misery loves company.

a frozen shit shake...:H:H:H

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Bryd and Lola! I've been thinking about that whole experience for the last two hours now. Man, that irritated me! Why is it so strange for someone to have a non-alcoholic beverage at the bar? I was at that same bar about three weeks ago (drinking of course), and this guy walked up to the bar and ordered a non-alcoholic beer. The bartender looked at him like he was a jerk and said she didn't have any. Geez, and this is the same bartender whose husband just recently went to rehab for alcohol addiction. What is wrong with these people? And why doesn't a " beer garden" type of bar not sell one single non-alcoholic beer? No room? My ass....

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

It was a long & busy day for me so I'm going to say good night & wish everyone a safe night here!

I hope everyone has a plan for the upcomong weekend. Plan ahead to remain AF, you'll be glad you did

rooni, walking into a bar at this point??
Don't think I would have done that for anyone or anything. Forget about it now, you're safe!

Have a peaceful night one & all!
Lav

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

Hi all,

I'm trying to respond to a few days of posts without going back and no cheat sheet so no doubt I'll miss some (and mix up others).

Litre - sorry to hear about the bad man cycle. That's one of the hardest ones for me, too, when you feel slighted or angry or betrayed (again), I've been gnawing on something that happened with my BF today and it's really tough to squelch that churning stomach and rapid heartbeat and racing thoughts. So here I am! At least that's good! I am definitely not giving up my quit over that nonsense! When I'm done here, I'll go catch up on Breaking Bad!

Jenn and Jenn - I'm on day 90-something and still feeling really tired and still doing the eating, eating, eating thing. That has got to end soon, though, as I'm already starting to feel a similar guilt-remorse-shame cycle about my weight (but then the lure of the ice cream/cookies supercedes - such a familiar story/pattern). Anyway, early on, I agree, don't worry about it. I have tons of tools to deal with my situation - I just need to take that first step. Hmmm. Time to get the books off the shelf, not just stare at them up there. Journal and pens, too.

Greetings, Hope - hope your Day 1 went as planned. Keep checking in at the Nest!

Gdog - you're working through so much; know that there is another side. If getting sober scares you, here's how I rationalized it with myself. I was definitely not wanting to live life without alcohol, but I knew I wasn't going to have much of a life, if any, if I continued abusing myself. So I made a deal. I figured I could pretty much tell where my life was headed if I kept drinking, and it wasn't pretty. At all. So I challenged myself just to see what the alternative might be like. What would happen if I was AF for six months, a year? What did I have to lose? What new insights would be revealed? We spend so much time worrying about how hard it's going to be or how bad. For me, it was much, much harder leading up to the quit, than the quitting itself. Excuse me, I have to pull out my soapbox now. Because I got help and did outpatient detox with the help of very controlled dosages of Rx drugs to help ease the AL w/d symptoms. I'd never done that before and I've had a lot of Day 1s. So here I am 90+ days later. Hardly a beacon of enlightenment, true, I'm still struggling in new ways I hadn't anticipated, but the actual relinquishing of the AL was not that much of a nightmare. Now it's on to chipping away at other bad habits and replacing them with positive ones. Becoming the me again that liked doing things that didn't involve AL.

K9 - What a great suggestion - to rearrange furniture so your environment is different than when it was drinking! I live alone and I, too, was mostly an at-home drinker so I could hardly stand to be in that room that first week. In fact, I had the luxury of being able to spend the night at my BF's - although I was sleeping in the spare room. Those of you with families/live-in relationships may not be able to do that, but if I had to, I would have asked to camp on someone's couch. That has since passed and I am fine with being home alone again.

Cat - welcome back and nice job going on the offensive! I just got a new book today, Staying Sober, and it's on my list to dig in to that over the next couple of days. I still need a plan... We all do.

Lola - I had something to say, but I can't remember what, so "hi!" for now...

And everyone, have a great night! Be well. Stay strong.

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

Rooni - You just enjoy your shit shake and fuck those barflies!

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

:H Monique!! and also :H at "I had something to say but forgot it"...boy does that happen to me alot around here!

and thanks Pinecone - I'm doing great. How about you? There are definitely bumps in this road but in retrospect, I really have made huge changes in just a few short months...I'm getting to know and like myself. at least for the most part.


Welcome to Hope, - I've had so much going on, I've got to read back and get to know people - hopefully tomorrow - my eyelids are closing...I hope this thunder stops soon so I can sleep....it's been going on for hours.

Just remember you're never alone in all of this...

~lola

[Cat Belle]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone!

Thanks Monique for the encouragement!

Today is 7 days so I plan to reward myself with something, new nail polish, or maybe a little something from B&B works. Some kinda something, so that every time I use it I remind myself of my tiny little victory and can smile to myself.

I'm still getting to know everyone, so all of y'all out there having the same struggles, have agreat day and remember the past is a locked door. Let's move forward from here! I read a quote yesterday, and wrote it immediately on my bathroom mirror. It's getting full of self proclamations these days... Lol

"She left pieces of her life behind her everywhere she went.....it's easier to feel the sunshine that way, she said."

That really hit a place in me.

Good day y'all

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Love the quote, Cat! And I totally agree about rewarding yourself. You deserve it. Plus, the way I look at it, if I reward myself with something that costs money, well, I would have spent that money in bars if I had been drinking, so there....

Have a great day!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Looks like a rain day over my portion of the nest today but I guess that's better than another day of scorching heat

Rooni, Monique, Cat & Lola - I hope you all have a fabulous AF Friday!
Greeting to all Nesters who drop in today!

Must get my day going
Lav

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

Well, wonders never cease......today is day 6 for me My husband MAYBE has ONE beer a couple of times a week (but does drink to excess with old friends maybe a handful of times a year)...he had to go out to a business dinner last night in NYC with some folks from TX. His boss was trying to impress these TX folks so they all went out to some fancy steakhouse. Cocktails before dinner so DH ordered one beer. Then during dinner, wine was ordered. I don't know if you have ever been to these fancy steakhouses in the city, but when you order a bottle (or two or three at a time) the waiters continuously pour wine into your glass...even if it isn't empty so you have no idea how much you are drinking. So anyway, DH drinks the wine and tries to pace himself...then after dinner drinks....bourbon...because the TX guys loved bourbon and then after all of that, they head back to the bar!!! Needless to say, my poor light drinking (usually) husband woke up this morning with a terrible hangover, puffy eyes and just feeling miserable.
I think, in the 22 years of our relationship, this is the first time he is hungover and I am stone cold sober. In the past it was either both of us (rarely) or just me.
Its weird, I feel so emotional right now....not really sad, not really happy, just teary....like I am sick (well, i guess i am - alcoholism is a disease after all) I am just kind of overwhelmed once again and i am only on day 6!!! I guess the feeling of relief is what it is - something I have never really experienced before......anyway, happy AF friday everyone!!

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

and to comment on rewarding yourself.....last night I had a wonderful pedicure. It took 1.5 hours...it was simply LUXURIOUS..... and CHEAPER than the booze i would have been drinking all week so there!!!!!!!!

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

I will not fail unless I quit (being sober)....words of wisdom for the day

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Good morning peeps! Day 19 for me today!!!! YAY! I can't remember going this long without AL since I was pregnant with my daughter 19 years ago. I am loving being a part of this thing called "life" and everyday I enjoy getting to know the real me that has been pickled in vodka and tucked aside in a jar on a shelf. I have been busy the last couple of days working on getting my daughter ready for college next week and what not...I am so glad to see everyone staying strong!

K9....love the new profile pic! I know today is the day that you get Charlie back....my thoughts are with you!

Rooni.....you sound great! Love the story about Ron and your "shit shake"...you crack me up girl! I am so proud of you for being able to walk out of that bar with your head held high. I hope the weather cooperates for you today so you can get some good pics!

Jennie.....go ahead and reward yourself...every moment f every day without AF is a milestone!!!!!

Good morning to the nest mothers, Lav and Byrdie!!!!

Litre...so sorry you have been having a rough time. Stay strong...you are such an inspiration to so many of us here!

Lola....Love, love, love what you wrote to Rooni! LMAO

Cat....Love the quote....I will have to post that somewhere in my house too!

Gdog...hang tough....you can do this. It is a tough journey but eventually you will find a path that works for you!

[Honeysoup]

Newbies Nest

rooniferd;1362129 wrote: Well that was annoying as hell. I was on my way home from work, and I turned into a grocery store to grab some clothes detergent on the way home. Well this grocery store is right beside my old drinking hole. Who did I see walking down the street but Ron, and regular who I know drinks way more than he should. His parents left him some money when they died, so now all he does is bar hop all day - and I mean all day - from the time the bar opens until the time he passes out....

Anyway, we made eye contact, so after I finished grocery shopping, I walked into the bar to talk to him. Everyone says he's been really depressed lately, so I felt like it would be a good idea, especially since I haven't seen him in several days.

So, after saying hello to everyone (bartenders and regulars), I sit down and order a soda water. OMG, you would have thought I had ordered a frozen shit shake or something. I had to explain mulitple times that I wasn't drinking because I had work to do when I got home. The bartender jokingly rolled her eyes and said "you're going to come into my bar and only order a soda? WHAAAA????"

I talked to Ron for two minutes, and yes he was depressed, but I know exactly why - he's addicted to a major depressant called alcohol. How do I know this? Because I am too, and I see the signs!

Ron ended up getting a phone call, so I took that as my excuse to leave two bucks on the bar and walk out, telling people along the way that I had groceries in my car.

I doubt I will be going back in there any time soon. What's the point?

Home, sober, and so glad I'm not still there, sitting on a bar stool wasting money, time, and brain cells....

Rooni...OMG...I'm SOOOO proud of you! Way to go...that would be really hard. How amazing it must feel to have gone in and got out without a drink.

((BIG HUG)) :yougo: