Newbies Nest

[prancy]

Newbies Nest

Hello all. I am just finishing up Day 11 and so glad to be AF. Tonight was my "knit and sip" group where a group of gals get together at this knit shop and drink wine and knit. We have a blast and it is a great way to meet new friends. Of course I loved it because it gave me an opportunity to have some wine. Tonight was hard. Everyone kept asking me what was I drinking (sparkling pomegranate that I brought) and they were all laughing like mad and I just wasn't in the mood. I left earlier than I usually do -- said I had to feed the dogs but really just needed to go home. I hope this gets easier. I know I will prefer waking up tomorrow feeling good, but somehow tonight I felt really left out. A little TV and then bed should fix that! Good night all and congrats on all the AF days!

[sdlovespackers]

Newbies Nest

Lav and Chops...you both have to be the biggest sweeties in the world!!!!! Checkin in for Pops!!!! I miss you guys so much!! I think in August I'm going to be leaning on you so much...I'm trying so hard to be "normal" when it comes to drinking and hanging out....it's so hard for me...and I realize for brad and everyone else...it's just not that big of deal...what a loser I feel like...I keep joking about it to Brad...like it's a "summer thing"...I was never like this when we were married....but what is even sicker...I keep "getting him a beer" to keep up with me or sneaking drinks when he's out of the room....God, if I didn't know I had a problem before....and no I'm not taking my "vitamins"...don't want to waste them when I know I'm going to be stupid...too expensive!!! And I'm not getting wasted or anything...just drinking more than I have in the last several months....and it's not like Brad is a drinker...it's totally me...I honestly think it's emotional though....feeling scared but at the same time loving it so much that he is here.....I need to get myself in check though...all I keep thinking is once school starts...he'll be in another town and I'll be consumed with school...things will go back to "normal".....right???? Gosh darn...I told myself NO RELATIONSHIPS IN 09...too much drama...which is a HUGE trigger for me!!!!!
Chops--you find a time to come visit...and I PROMISE I'll make it work sweetie!! Thanks for all the support!!!! I miss you and hope all things are well for you!!!
Where is Dill--she on vacation still????
Papas--hope the move is going good...these ladies are holdin down the fort wonderfully!!!
SD:l

[ChickenNumber3]

Newbies Nest

Hi All!
It seems (touch-wood) that moderation seems to be working for me at the moment! But time will tell?I don't know if it's possible, but I am weening myself down a glass at a time/night! Then I plan to use soda water as a mixer & decrease shot sizes etc. Urgh-does this sound crazy or desperate.Only lasted the usal two days AF. But plan to have at least another two from tomorrow, through Saturday!Having friends over for dinner,so this will be difficult-but I shall try my best and maybe suprise myself!
Chicken

[dill]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!

I've been taking a break, SD. I have been checking in on the July Jamboree thread and sometimes on AF Daily. I have caught up here and you sound like you are having quite an interesting and somewhat emotional summer. That certainly doesn't help when you are trying to reduce drinking. But, on the flip side, the drinking isn't helping with dealing with the emotions, either! :l I have been struggling lately with being AF and I completely blew it yesterday. I'm not even sure what I said last night when my daughter called and that's the worst feeling in the world. I'm not sure if I 'sounded' OK or anything. The ironic thing is, I remember one part of the conversation and it was about a friend of hers who is worried about his Mom drinking too much. Dear daughter was wondering if there was anyway we could help? Yiikes. I can't even help ME! But I didn't say that. She doesn't know about MY problem.

Chops, I missed you so I had to check in! I have been telling myself I can moderate, and I found out, yet again, that that is a big lie. Sigh.

Chicken, prancy, norac, fernand, mary jane, raj :welcome:
hi lav!
sunni, you must be the energizer bunny or somethng!

OK, coffee's on, birdlings! (and a diet pepsi for you, SD, of course!)

[choppersmom]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning my fine-feathered friends! I am up waaaaay too early, so Dill, the coffee is much appreciated! Well, only one more day until Friday. I am super excited about that

Dill, thanks for checking in! I have missed you too. I am sorry that you had a rough evening yesterday. Too many times, I have had those conversations that I only remember part of them. It is the worst feeling in the world to not know if I even sounded normal speaking on the phone. I have been doing ok through July, not AF, but not going overboard either. Just know that I am here for you (as are all of these ladies and gents), and we will get through our struggles together! :l

SD, you are having a very emotional July, aren't you? Anytime you need to lean on someone, come here or PM me. Is Mike out of the picture for you? How is Brayden doing? I am definitely checking into a SD visit. When do you go back to school? It's our busy time at work, but I think I can manage a break over the summer, or perhaps I can brave an SD winter and come visit!

Chicken, is moderation your ultimate goal? Sounds like you are doing well with the tapering. Let us know how we can help.

:welcome: Prancy! Great job on day 11 :goodjob: Hope to see you around the nest more.

Lav, how are you this fine morning? Any special plans? I think of you and your business often, and I hope things are going well for you.

Hiya Sunni, Fernanda, Raj, Nora, Mary Jane and alll others. Have a great day. I am going to pull out the shades, as it is going to be very sunny and in the 90's today.

See you all later!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

The population in the nest has grown quite a bit this week - hope everyone is doing well

SD, I hope you're OK. So much going on with you this summer......don't lose sight of your goals.

Chicken, hope your moderation plan works for you. I tried but found I just couldn't do it. It's easier for me to avoid alcohol all together.

Chops, I'm happy in my little shop this week. Have enough work to keep me busy but not too much to make me crazy - if you know what I mean

Dill, forgetting what I said to someone on the phone was one of the major reasons I decided to quit! I made an idiot out of myself too many times to count. It's so embarassing to have people recount a conversation that you can't even remember having.........especially with one of the kids! Stay strong, we know you can and want to do this! After all, this is a group effort, right?

Hope everyone's day is happy & productive!

[dill]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Lav and Chops for the pep talk. Much needed. Feeling kind of low. Chops, I am confused as to how one drinks but doesn't go over board. Good for you that you can, but I don't seem to be able to anymore. I keep thinking "this time will be different". But, it never is. Classic definition of insanity.

OK, told Mr. Dill I'd help him some with the fencing, so off I go!

[prancy]

Newbies Nest

Good morning all. It is a bright and hot day today and I am heading off for riding my horse before it gets tooooooo hot! So glad not to be hungover from wine and heading out to have hot sun on my head. Have done THAT too many times. I had a dream about drinking last night. Dreamed I lost my car and was in this restaurant at the bar talking to someone and didn't know how I got there or how I was going to get home. It was so REAL! I absolutely hated the feeling so it was sort of like drinking again and not having to actually feel the pain the next day.

Dill, not remembering the conversation is the worst feeling in the world and one of my main motivators to just stop AL altogether. My husband starts about half of his sentences with "Remember I told you...." I don't know if he did tell me or not. Sometimes I think he just uses it to get his way but it frustrates me that he could be right. Also, I think a lot of people, including daughters, know a lot more about our "problem" than we think they do. If no one says anything, I sort of hope/assume that I "pulled it off" but more often than not, if the subject does come up, my daughter will say something like, "you were so wasted." But maybe you don't show it as much as I do. Anyway, commiserations!
We always have this day to make it better.

[Fernanda]

Newbies Nest

Prancy, tell me about your horse! I had the craziest half-Arab ...he was my first horse & I think if I'd had an appropriate first horse I would still be riding!

So, I blew it. I was supposed to go to a meeting in San Francisco & I left late & the traffic was bad and then I overshot & ended up on a freeway & was just like F-it. So I drove home & I had a huge taste for red wine. I didn't get any (i'm keeping it out of the house) but then I started IMing my partner telling him to get some. He was at a function so he didn't pick up, but when he got home I actually asked him to go to the store. (and more surprisingly, he actually did!)While he was there I started thinking I didn't need it, but then he came home with 6 bottles & I forgot all about that!

He opened a bottle & I actually didn't like it. I thought maybe I had lost my taste for it. But after we finished that one & he went to bed I opened another and it was DELICIOUS. Exactly what I wanted. So I drank the whole bottle, which I didn't realize until this morning because I blacked out.

[NoraC]

Newbies Nest

I'm at work and can't really talk right now but I just read some of your posts that hit a chord so deep with me:

Dill, forgetting what I said to someone on the phone was one of the major reasons I decided to quit! I made an idiot out of myself too many times to count. It's so embarassing to have people recount a conversation that you can't even remember having.........especially with one of the kids! Stay strong, we know you can and want to do this! After all, this is a group effort, right?

That was what I did again on Monday night and that is why I am here 3 days AF.

I LOVE THIS GROUP. Thank you. I am sitting here almost in tears at work because I have finally met some people that UNDERSTAND!!!!!!

[Fernanda]

Newbies Nest

(((((Nora)))))

I've blown at least one relationship by dialing drunk & saying what I thought. Too bad I had to get drunk to know I thought it!

[choppersmom]

Newbies Nest

Hey Fernanda! I so related to your story. Been there and done that! Good for you for coming here today and posting. Onward and upward my friend!

Nora, it is so nice to have you here! I think we can all relate to the phone conversations not being remembered. Congrats on day 3!

Dill, I never thought I could say that I am drinking, but not going overboard. I would ALWAYS end up over doing it. However, I truly believe it is because of my living arrangements right now. My dad knows I drink, but not to what extent. He is ok with me drinking in the house and has told me to help myself to any wine they have. He and his wife are not big drinkers. However, out of respect, I have really been forcing myself NOT to go overboard. When I drink, I allow myself two glasses. Even with him being out of town, I am sticking to that rule. I do have more AF days than drinking days, and I am really working to go all AF days. Right now, when I do allow myself the wine, I am just making up excuses and I know it. I hope this makes sense.

So, I better get back to work. Just a quick check-in on the nest. Take care all.

[sunshine_gg]

Newbies Nest

Good afternoon, nestlings!

Busy day here... I did try to catch an hour of sun.. but.. wouldn't ya know it? As soon as I went outside it clouded over. Pffhhhhhh. :H Oh well, back to work it is, then.

Fernanda... I SO know how your evening went. Been there.. done that Do NOT want to do it again (that's more for myself than anyone else)

Prancy... you're absolutely right. We don't hide our 'little problem' nearly as well as we think. But, I think, it is difficult for friends and family to approach the subject. One of my best friends actually did.

ChickenLittle, I wish you all the best - be it moderating or abstaining. Neither is easy. (And, sorry, for the chicken variations... ) LOL

SD, love... keep your cool through all this emotional turmoil, ok hun? What's been has been, what's done is done... and in the end, everything happens for a reason. You just take care of yourself and Brayden. :l

Dillydally... I got some more fencing to do! Are you skilled labour? :H How are you feeling today, hun?

Chops...*cringe* the conversations I've had and have no recollection of... *shudder*

Ok, birdlings.. gotta fly! Have yourselves a great afternoon!

:hallo:

[Fernanda]

Newbies Nest

Thanks, everyone. OMG I am sooo hungover....

I haven't bought the CD's yet. Are the total abstinence ones better than the original?

[prancy]

Newbies Nest

Afternoon all. Back from a wonderful but HOT trail ride in sunny California.

Fernando, my Arabian is fabulous but he was pretty crazy when I got him six years ago. He was also a baby and I put in hundreds of hours with him just walking and when he would get afraid, I would get off and walk ahead. Now he is bombproof and others who have "crazy" horses like to go on the trail with us because he is a babysitter and unflappable. He just opened up like a flower with a HUGE amount of love and attention.

I feel bad for your hangover and for the blackout. I had so many of those and I hated each and every one. I just don't think there is anything worse in the world than waking up and having no idea of how you got to bed. Last time I did it, I tripped on the stairs, banged my forehead on the banister and ended up with a black eye!! Now explaining not drinking may be hard, but explaining a black eye is even worse. And of course, EVERYONE asks. I don't look like what people think an abused wife or an alcoholic look like so in California, everyone assumes you have had plastic surgery!! LOL if they only knew. I thin each hangover is just one step closer to an AF you!! Keep trying.