Newbies Nest

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

It's really nice to hear all the positive vibes around here...Gdog - you're going to make that goal - and even more. Don't ever give up.

itsmytime - you sound fantastic - it's amazing, isn't it? The changes that can come about in our lives so quickly? It's so easy - but it's so hard.

I realized this morning that I feel a real sense of accomplishment after buckling a few weeks ago to pressure to join in on a wedding toast - because I stood my ground and didn't let everything come undone.. with a couple other "events" with alcohol in the weeks after that, I knew I'd have to be really rigid with my plan to avoid drinking...and now that they're over, I realize that I did it. Not only that, I have some really fresh experiences of social events where I wasn't drinking. Does that make sense?

I mean I can remember how it felt - and hopefully remember that for the next event - so that i don't get anxious beforehand, and think I need to drink before it. I did it for sooo many years - I hope the thought of it goes away with time - but I still do get that thought that I should have something to "warm up" before I go somewhere or have people here - where I need to be social. I hope I'm changing the "norm" to being comfortable without it. sheesh, it seems like I usually talk in circles. ah well, it made sense to me. :-)

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Peeps!!!!! Day 22 for me and today I have my check-up with my Dr to see how I am doing on the AB. I think it's safe to say that I am doing GREAT on it! Do I still have cravings...yes...do I still feel down sometimes...yes. On the flip side...my cravings don't consume my life and my "down" times are just a normal part of life. I have realized that life is not always rainbows, lollipops and unicorns, but it is sooooooo much better without the numbness of AL. I am learning to deal with everyday ups and downs and not just sweeping them under the carpet and trying to make them magically disappear in a bottle of vodka because the reality is that they were still there and even uglier when I had to deal with them hungover. Not to mention that they seemed to multiply...WTF?! I am stepping out of the fog of AL and I am grateful to be able to continue with this journey more clearly and focused.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

:goodjob: Destiniey!!!

Lori, how are you today??? Keep up with your tapering down - and when you are alcohol free -not only will you be able to feel more confidence in letting the world know that you are a good mom - you will have more strength and confidence to deal with the stress of the child custody issue. You will be able to confidently state that you don't drink anymore - if the issue comes up - and you really really will be seeing the situation so much more clearly. Alcohol makes us see things as being so much more hopeless than they really are.


It's part of the difficulty in staying sober, actually. When we are under the cloud of alcohol - things seem so hopeless and depressing that we want more than anything to get out from under that cloud. So many people come here - the morning after - and desperately want help to quit - then as the hours or days go by - things start to look brighter - without alcohol! - and they start feeling more positive - and crazy enough - start to think that a drink wouldn't be all that bad. It's such a perplexing cycle. If you can push through - those first few AF days - and keep going - it's the only way to see just how bright the world - and your future can look....

~lola

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning Nesters!

Welcome Lori, I'm glad you found us!

Dest - I cannot believe you are on day 22 already...where did the time go?? You are doing awesome...keep it up girlfriend!

I hope everyone had a great weekend. My nephew (he lives with me, 19 years old) walked in with a huge bottle of Rum on Saturday and said he didn't like it so he put it in the cupboard (for one thing, he's too young to drink and another, I don't know how he got it...but that's a whole other story). I had NO desire to even go "look" at it (yes, in the past I would have tortured myself like that). I think this was a first for me. At this point in my sobriety, there is nothing I could say that could justify drinking right now...nothing. There's no excuse that I could give my daughter that would make her say "It's ok this time Mom"....nope, NOTHING. It actually feels really good to know I got through the death of my dog sober, because I thought something like that would do me in! It just goes to show...we are stronger than we know...so don't doubt yourself!

Monique, Gdog, FD, Rooni, IMT, Lola, Cat, Byrdie, Lav, Honey and everyone else...so good to see you all here. Hope you all have a great day!

K9

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Hi K-9, Lavande, LolaB, et al.

I'm getting geared up to strap in. Gathering up my mental reserves, my quit buddies, my plans, this time I'm trying to actually have a "real person" on the ground in support - I think I'm going to need more accountability partners willing to be ready on speed dial. I find I have a hard time in the evenings when I don't have other adult support...

Anyway - I'm breaking down when I succeed and don't...and coming up with the ideas on ways to address them...so I'm preparing what I need to succeed.

I've discovered - quits I start when I don't feel quite prepared - don't work at all. Quits where I'm mentally all in - have been far more successful. But this one - I am a deadly serious about doing right.

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Hey K9....that's awesome that you didn't even feel the need to look at it....out of sight out of mind right?! My daughter has done that a few times too while she has been home this summer....she has brought some stuff into the house for when she hangs out with her friends. She is so responsible though..unlike me...if it was within 50 feet of me before my AB I would drink it until I passed out even if I had no intention of doing so...ugh! Her and her friends don't even make a dent in the bottle on the few occasions that they have gotten together. Hmm...when I grow up I want to be just like my daughter..ha!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

K9, bigger kids create bigger problems ~ don't they?
Good for you for being strong but I would still insist he get rid of the bottle (give it away) or I'd dump it for him

PF, you sound like you are ready to get back in the game here - good for you.
A good plan & a strong commitment to take back control of your life will do wonders. Stay close
I would seriously consider using the MWO Hypno CDs.

Destiniey, Byrdie will be preparing your 30 day hat in no time

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

hey PF - I have thought of you and hoped you'd be back. Not because of all the rotten circumstances that you described in your other thread - but either way, I'm glad to see you and sorry for what you're going through.

It's strange how we can trudge along for so long doing something that definitely isn't working - and not be motivated enough to stop it. but that's alcohol for you...It sounds like you are pulling out all the stops to make this work - we're behind you all the way...:l

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Hi Lav - I've got so many of the different Hynpno's it's crazy. :-) I spent a fortune on the MWO ones - including a big batch of customs - but in the end - his voice drives me a bit batty.

I'm using the Steve G. Jones version now. His sound quality is better - I just bought 1 first - then if you register they send you coupons. If you wait - the coupon comes through for *amazing* sales. I've finally put together a mix that seems to be working well in making me feel peaceful - and it is significantly diminishing - but not eliminating entirely - my desire to drink. But that's a lot to do with habit. I'm finding I don't want one really - but it's the same time every night and I'm cooking on the grill so I feel like I have to have one. Stupid really. And with one comes many.

Hence - why I ordered the antabuse...guess what - it won't matter about my habit pretty soon.

The mix that is working is the Abstinence Followed by Co-Dependence Followed by Binge Drinking on an all night loop. The three different scripts cover so many different issues that I think many of us have with self doubt and self loathing and forgiveness - etc - that when I'm good about running the loop several days in a row - I really do sleep better. I have sleep monitor software - so I can see it empirically. (You can buy it and turn your iPhone into a sleep monitor - how fun is that?! I love the app store) The percentage of deep restorative sleep goes way up after a couples days on the Hynpnos - versus when I haven't. The graphs show it.

Anyway - yes - I'm getting myself mentally ready to do this.

[Mick]

Newbies Nest

Prairie.. go for it..all the support you need is here

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

That's awesome PF
Anything that's non-alcoholic & gives you a peaceful feeling can't be bad!

I definitely had to push & shove myself into changing habits & routines in the beginning but I'm so glad I did. This is important to you so go ahead & give yourself a little kick!

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

i made 6 days this time....why why why did i do it.....I didn't 100% commit i guess...spent 1.5 hours discussing this with sponsor....going to second AA tonight. It is not that anything really bad is happening because of my drinking....it is the what ifs and me being "checked out" when I drink...just not good. feeling upset but will just have to give time, time.

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Hey K9....I love your ever changing avatar...Heehee!

Prairie....Hang tough....you can do this! I am a firm believer in Antabuse....I am 22 days today AF as a result of it. I needed to have AL totally out of the equation...it was wayyyy too much of a temptation otherwise. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get past 5, 10, 15 days AF before falling flat on my face and ending up back at day 1. I also take L-Glut and Kudzu to help with cravings and that seems to be working for me. I wish you the best of luck!!!!!

Jennie.....I am so proud of you for picking yourself back up and heading back to AA. I have found...after falling flat on my face too many times that I care to count....that beating yourself up doesn't help the situation at all and can make it worse alot of times. So kudos to you for hopping back on the wagon and into the nest and moving forward!

[Lori35]

Newbies Nest

Hello and thank you for all the welcoming and encouraging words.

Lola - I actually felt better today than I normally do on a Monday. I am usually too sick to drink on a Sunday and by Monday I am very shaky, irritable, foggy, sweaty and have a massive headache. I didn't have the shakes today though, so I am feeling like tapering is going to be the best thing for me to do. I am soooo thankful I only bought enough beer for one day though. I bought two tallboys today and poured about a third out of one of them as soon as I got home. If I had more then I am sure I would have drank them, even though I don't like beer.

I'm hoping I will be AF for the weekend but terrified at the same time. My kids will be away and I've never been able to stay sober when they are gone and Friday is going to be an awful day with court.

I need to make a plan for the weekend and stick to it. Really anxious about how I'm going to get through it.

I hope everyone has a lovely evening. There is so much to read here, I am going to do that before going to bed. Good night!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Swooping in to wish everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lori, stick with your plan & do not worry unecessarily about things that have not happened yet. That sort of thing can drive you crazy (been there & done that)
Get a strong plan in place for the weekend, enlist the help of a trusted friend if that helps, OK?

Wishing everyone a peaceful night!
Lav