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    #23521
    Newbies Nest

    PF - I'm so sorry. I know how you feel. A 12 pack of beer used to make me a pretty awesome person too (not). I can't tell you how many "day after" regrets I've had, the anxiety, self-hate, remorse. I'm very sorry you are going through this today. Is there any way to see your SO sooner? I hope your AB comes quickly. I'm sending you strength and love. You're not alone in this!

    K9
    :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

    Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

    Comment

      #23522
      Newbies Nest

      Lavande;1365573 wrote: Hey Kradle,
      CONGRATS ON 2 AF MONTHS!!!:goodjob:
      Have fun yard sailing today!

      Hi everyone!
      I'm just taking a break from work, need to get back to it soon
      Thanks Lav,

      I appreciate that. I feel a little like Eeyore sometimes: ' Thanks for Noticing me! :H

      Believe it or not I think I'm still embarrassed by it all. Go figure

      Cat, congrats to you too. Sorry I didn't put that in there! :goodjob:

      :l
      On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
      *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
      https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
      https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

      Comment

        #23523
        Newbies Nest

        Hi K-9,

        I don't think so. Right now he's not speaking to me. But even if he were - he has his kids this weekend - and while one of them adores me and mine - the other ones won't be caught within miles of me since it upsets their mother. So....that's a no...no healing this wound in person.

        I went to pastoral counseling though today. And cried my eyes out. And prayed. I feel like at least God loves me and forgives me even if the SO can't. It's not helping much. I really am loathing myself today. And will keep doing it until I set this as right as I can.

        Where or where is that AB? Waahhhhhhhh.....
        That popping sound you hear is me attempting to remove my head from my arse. It's been there for years so this may take a while.
        Admitting I need healing. And I am not big enough to do this alone.
        AF - August 20, 2012

        Comment

          #23524
          Newbies Nest

          Hey PF old friend:sup:...I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time. You are taking steps, and if you continue working, it WILL get better. I am looking forward to seeing you fly like a Fairy should! You have lots of shoulders here to lean on and cry on if you need to. And when the devil comes a knockin' come reading here. That is what saved me more than once during my early sobriety.

          Kradle...happy 2 months! That is awesome...and if you think you are feeling good now...just wait...it only gets better!:goodjob:
          BelleGirl

          Alcohol does me no favors.

          Pouring poison down your throat is just plain STUPID!

          Comment

            #23525
            Newbies Nest

            Kradle....:bday3::bday3: look at you!! 2 hats! I remember that first day you wandered into the nest! It took you several tries, but you finally got your wings. I am sooooo proud of you! What's more, you hang tight in the nest and give back...reaching out a hand to those who come behind you....well done!

            Belle, great to see you and your success! You make it look easy!

            Prairie...I bet there isn't a one of us who hasn't been in your shoes. Time helps heal a lot of things, and once you get yourself sorted out, I'd bet my last dime that all of your relationships will improve! You are at the Baggage Claim now....let go of the ones that weigh you down and grab onto the ones that will help with both hands! We will always be here for you....all ways.

            Go out and do something nice for somebody today! It'll make you feel good! Strength to all over the weekend! XO, Byrdie
            All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
            Tool Box
            Newbie's Nest

            Comment

              #23526
              Newbies Nest

              Hey BelleGirl!

              HUGS! He's finally talking but he won't accept any apologies. He specifically said. "No apologies. Actions speak louder than words." He's right. I think he is talking because I did schedule to speak family counseling next week. And I did go to pastoral counseling today. So he knows I am taking steps to make changes. He doesn't know about the AB.

              It's up to me to walk this and walk it steady. Sighs.

              I wish I was flying. Today my wings are heavy.
              That popping sound you hear is me attempting to remove my head from my arse. It's been there for years so this may take a while.
              Admitting I need healing. And I am not big enough to do this alone.
              AF - August 20, 2012

              Comment

                #23527
                Newbies Nest

                PF,
                You do know that it's entirely your choice to put a stop to this madness, right?
                Why keep making the same mistake over & over again? Does it ever turn out well for you?
                Think about that & how you are feeling about yourself today. You can change everything in a flash - don't drink any more! Dump whatever you have left at home & make a solemn vow to buy no more. Take the leap - I did & I have never regretted it for a second
                We are all here for the same reason & understand :l

                Greetings to everyone else dropping by.
                I've just made myself a nice pot of vegan chili mac ~ YUM
                AF since 03/26/09
                NF since 05/19/09
                Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                Comment

                  #23528
                  Newbies Nest

                  No Lav - it never does. I feel like I keep attacking one bit of it - and miss another bit...and I keep at this all wrong.

                  Today was the first day I actually said to someone -outside of here - I need to stop this - altogether. That was the pastoral counselor. He (THe SO) actually doesn't want me to stop altogether. He seems to think I can mod. I know better. But I'd rather have been abbing a while and get him see what abbing is like for a while - and then tell him I don't intend to drink again.

                  All my materials came this week. I ordered a full program to work through step by step, workbooks, journals - everything. I started reading today. And all my supplements are here. I started them again today.

                  I got the hypnos out this morning.

                  The AB should be here in the next week and a half.

                  And I get assigned my professional counselor on Monday.

                  So - I'm on the path. I'm emotionally exhausted. It's going to be a very early night tonight. It's going to be melatonin and nighty night early.
                  That popping sound you hear is me attempting to remove my head from my arse. It's been there for years so this may take a while.
                  Admitting I need healing. And I am not big enough to do this alone.
                  AF - August 20, 2012

                  Comment

                    #23529
                    Newbies Nest

                    Hey all

                    Lots happening in the nest, new people, new plans, great advice. I'm absorbing it all even if I don't post often. I'm at day 73 (I think). Sounds like a lot to me -- never had this much sober time before -- but I know I still have a lot of adjustment before I'll feel comfortable in this new skin.

                    Hope everyone has a great weekend.
                    AF since 6JUN2012

                    Comment

                      #23530
                      Newbies Nest

                      hey all!!
                      It is friday night and I made it through witching hour....it was very hard for me but I got through it keeping myself busy...went to a yoga/meditation class at my gym right from work, ordered take out to avoid the cooking trigger, then played monopoly with my 12 yr. old son. I am pooped!! So much of my energy goes into all of this. I am just so wiped out by 9pm...so I am going to take the dogs for a quick walk and then off to bed for me!!!
                      Sweet dreams all!
                      I just won't anymore

                      Comment

                        #23531
                        Newbies Nest

                        Good morning Nesters,

                        I'm up with the chickens this morning ~ thanks to my overly enthusiastic puppy

                        PF, we succeed when we finally get tired of fighting the beast & just give it ip
                        I had no idea how much easier my life would become when I took that leap but did it anyway.
                        Life does not become perfect by any stretch of the imagination, it just gets easier to maneuver through with a clear head. Your plan sounds good, now commit yourself, you won't be sorry.

                        Hi pixie, congrats on your AF success!

                        Jennie, staying busy to the point of exhaustion is a good thing. Keep going!

                        Awaiting the nice weather promised by the weather folks today. Hope to spend some time out in the gardens.
                        Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Saturday!
                        Lav
                        AF since 03/26/09
                        NF since 05/19/09
                        Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                        Comment

                          #23532
                          Newbies Nest

                          Hi All,

                          Haven't had much time to post this week, when I first stopped drinking I was on this site all the time and knew I really shouldn't be at work so used great willpower to keep my visits to home therefore not able to post much.

                          Well, things are good, loving my sober life. Still have low energy, but it's better than a hangover. I started taking Amoryn - natural AD yesterday, hoping it will help with my general anxiety, which I know is the reason I binge and over eat.

                          No desire to drink and we have a wedding today, the only thing I am thinking of is the toast, but I am toasting with water and sitting with my family so no one will question. It is a close family friend getting married and I am soooo looking forward to it.

                          I say I have no desire to drink, but my AV is still making me think about it arghhhhh I can't wait for the day when drinking does not cross my mind at all. I know it will come, but sooner rather than later please LOL.

                          Congrats Kradle!!

                          To those struggling, keep thinking of how you want your life to be. We only get one go and each and every second is precious.

                          Have a wonderful sober saturday nesters.
                          new beginnings July 16, 2012

                          Comment

                            #23533
                            Newbies Nest

                            Good morning y'all!

                            Happy Saturday, day 15, oh yeah. So yesterday I went to Michaels (again), bought embroidery thread and made some homemade haircombs, they turned out really pretty ( off of pinterest of course) so from there I have made a front door monogram picture, haircombs, countless recipes, and toe homemade workout t-shirts. Trying like the devil to keep my mind busy!

                            Good job jenni! Awesome hangover free Saturday!

                            Rooniferd! Get up! We're on day15!

                            Ck in later to catch up!
                            Catawprint:



                            "It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."
                            -Alan Cohen

                            Comment

                              #23534
                              Newbies Nest

                              Morning. I'm feeling more hopeful today. I know I have a plan. I am waiting to get the AB in to fully go AL free. But I've cut back...and I'm getting mentally ready...
                              That popping sound you hear is me attempting to remove my head from my arse. It's been there for years so this may take a while.
                              Admitting I need healing. And I am not big enough to do this alone.
                              AF - August 20, 2012

                              Comment

                                #23535
                                Newbies Nest

                                Good evening Nesters,

                                Pretty quiet around here today but nice to see you IMT, Cat & PF!

                                Hope everyone else is enjoying some decent weather for a change.
                                Turned out to be a real nice day in my neck of the woods

                                Wishing everyone a safe night in the Nest
                                Lav
                                AF since 03/26/09
                                NF since 05/19/09
                                Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                                Comment

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