Newbies Nest

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

Good morning, all,

Thanks to everyone for the welcome and encouragement--Lav, Byrdie, Caper,boozer, kradle. I should have started in the nest on my first go-round with MWO.:l

Confession time: I didn't make it last night, so Day one for me. I need to work on a quirky aspect of my personality that often leads me to drink. I'll explain sometime, and maybe someone will understand, and offer some advice.

Bydie--What a beautiful party! I'm impressed.

Kradle--Hope all is going well on your end.

Got to run. It's "Mom" day at assisted living.

My apologies to those I'm leaving out, as you matter, too.

Again, thanks to all. :lipstick:

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Good morning!

Finallydone, it sounds like you’re back on track – we’ll all have those lapses when we need a good slap up side the head to make us realize why we’re on this path.

lav, itsmytime, Itgeek, Kradle – nice to see everyone!

PF – hope your weekend was uneventful and you’re remembering how nice it is to spend one without AF…:-)

Jenniech, you sound like a different person…two weeks is huge!

Boozer, I didn’t offer ANYTHING when I first posted (sometimes I still don’t – LOL!) but I sure got a lot out of doing so…don’t worry about offering support – investigate your own feelings about alcohol or your life or whatever…I bet you’ll come to some important realizations along the way. AND, you never know how many people are out there just reading that just might be identifying with you…

Hey there juja. I’m glad you’re back. People come and go so often here in the nest – there isn’t really a “group”…

I was thinking over the weekend – after reading your post – and I remember reading here a loooooong time ago – that the difference between success and continuing to drink can sometimes just be a 1% lack of true commitment or really believing that we can. We can go about for a long time – “wanting” this….and believing that we want it 100% but there is still that 1% that is a little unsure – and that 1% will bring us down. I did it for so long. Even before I found this site, I wanted to stop drinking. But then I didn’t really. Deep down, I just wanted to not be controlled by it anymore…it took a long time for this stubborn brain to realize that I had crossed a line and I couldn’t go back.

Once you know you’ve got that 1% tackled then you have to figure out a way to confront that “running on auto-pilot” mode – your body pours a drink when you don’t even want one…or you end up at the liquor store when your head is telling you to go home – or you can’t seem to get away from the thoughts that you should drink or go to the store “right now – because you have the chance to”…so it’s time to come up with a physical list of things to do. Eat, drink, as Byrdie says - name off all your cousins, clean something, go somewhere, redirect your mind and body.

Don’t worry about trying to do this until tomorrow – just figure out something to do right then. The longer term stuff will come later. And plan to miserably go to bed early and bored - a few nights in the beginning! Once you get the reward of the morning enough times – it helps so much. Don’t forget to read the toolbox for help in coming up with your list….and remember that this list that you’re using is to help you get through a phase…There are a million phases coming up for you….some challenging – but none of them lasts forever. I try to remember that right when I think I can’t make it – that a certain event is going to put me over the edge – and that it’s too hard…that I’ve had this feeling lots of times over the past year….and that I always make it through – and that I always come out of it a little bit stronger and a little bit smarter…

Byrdie – your party looks amazing! Love those initial plates and the idea of a take home gift. And the hand pies are awesome – Also, thank you for sharing that it wasn’t easy…I think it helps all of us so much to know that we aren’t alone when we have a struggle. Sometimes when I’ve had events this summer that were challenging to me to stay sober, I felt as if I was doing something wrong. That maybe there was some flaw in my whole “plan” – that I had maybe missed some important step early on…and it was coming to bite me….and I was doomed to fail eventually – after all – the long timers are ALL about gratitude – how can I be even thinking about drinking?!?! Thank you.

Destiniey, You’re doing what you have to do – and I am loving reading your posts!!!

Finallysee – you’re at the one week point! Congratulations!

Welcome rollerblader. Even if you don’t find someone here on day 1, please believe that ALL of us know how tough it can be....we’re here for you.

So, I see I started this post “good morning” …I better wrap it up while it still is!

Here’s to a great week…:-)

[Getting real123]

Newbies Nest

Hi. My first day here. I'm scared!

[Getting real123]

Newbies Nest

I would love to hear how you did it. I'm scared!

[dixon]

Newbies Nest

Wow,

Congratulation Renewal !!!

Is it the very popular post in MWO ?

This post has completed 1310 days since its starting.
Making an average of 18 posts per day .

Do you think any other above it ?
Dix

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Happy Monday Nesters!!! (Ugh)

Well I am 24 hours smoke free...I made it through my morning ritual without smoking and my next challenge will be at lunchtime, when I normally would go home and have 2. I've got to change my thinking from feeling deprived that I "can't" smoke to I don't "have" to smoke anymore! My lungs are starting to feel a bit achy, so it's definitely time.

I haven't had time to catch up on all the posts yet, but glad to see everyone here. I hope everybody had a safe, sober, fun-filled weekend. I was lazy, but to me that's fun. LOL

Will check in later peeps!

K8

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Hi all -

The weekend was not totally uneventful - spent most of it bonding with the SO and trying to repair a lot of the damage done - and that part was largely successful. We made a ton of progress over the weekend.

And then - last night as I was hauling the peanuts out - I pointed out how hard it is to say bye on Sunday's - how much longer do we have to keep doing it...we have always planned that we had two more years until his oldest were done with HS - but I was hoping that maybe he would decide to push the issue now that his Ex is seeing someone...and his answer was two more years...part of me get's it - besides the one in school for two more years is the biggest hurdle of all the kids - there are logistics of two houses in two towns etc and two schools systems, etc...got it.

But - the idea of two more years was just - a lot.

When it's not what I want.

But I came home - all but catatonic and lonely - and instead of running up to the liquor store for a bottle - I took some melatonin and put on hypnos and went to bed.

Realized when I got up - the fact is - our lives have been raw chaos for months. What I need is to settle myself down. Get the AL under control. Get some sober time under my belt. Let him see what sober looks like. Let me see what sober looks like. And then let's figure out next steps. It's wrong to push him on something like that - when I've been out of control drunken nuts lately - when really - how have I shown him I'm dependable? Why don't I start being that and then worry about asking people for big changes?

Anyway - if I didn't crack last night - that was a good thing. This is a strong quit. I'm determined.

Day 7.

Love to all - having been offline most of the weekend - I'm catching up on everything...

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Great job PF - CONGRATS on 7 AF days!!!!
Give yourself lots of time to adjust to your new AF life before making any big changes
No need to rush with your SO, right?

Hello & welcome to Roller blader & Getting real!
Glad you both decided to join us in the Nest
I started out by reading the MWO book, it's full of good info about the program. You can download it right from the Health store here.
Visit the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html for lots of good ideas to help you make your plans. A good plan that works just for you is essential for your success.

Greetings K9, Juja, kradle, boozer, jennie, lola & everyone!!!
Glad to hear your positive reports

[Ishybit]

Newbies Nest

Hello everyone,
Just popping to say hi. I kind of struggled through the last couple of days a little bit of the ho-hum "why am I doing this or now what?" but reading through everyone's post here has helped me get over the hump. One thing I thought of that someone on MWO said was 1-2 hours of happy drinking does not outweigh the rest of the evening of blackout, passing out and feeling like garbage the next day. It's just not worth it.
Happy Monday!
Ishy

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Yes Lav - no need to rush it.

Which is what I realized when I got some sleep. I just didn't want to leave last night. Sick of different houses, not coming home to him every night.

But the fact is - every possible major change under the sun has happened in my life during the past 6 months.

Until I can a) learn coping skills so I am equipped for the curve balls life has thrown at me b) feel confident of that myself and c) have some time under my belt demonstrating those that to not just myself - but others - I shouldn't really be shaking things up. It's not good for my recovery.

Right now - I need to have my anchors in place - solidify those - get my coping skills going - and then worry about any additional changes I feel like making.

But last night? Last night just felt empty. So it was hypnos and sleep.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Ishy, try working on your gratitude attutude
Seriously, it works!
Visit one of my fav websites: The ToDo Institute: Mindfulness, Procrastination, and Gratitude using Morita and Naikan Therapies

PF, we all want to FIX everything immediately in our lives but we can't
We have to learn to be patient while we make these great changes in our lives, everything will work out but we have to wait. Patience was never my greatest virtue but I'm getting there

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Lol @ Lav -

My mother likes to say that when God was handing out patience - I skipped that line entirely and stood in the lines for stubborn and courage twice each instead.

[FreeFly]

Newbies Nest

lolab;1369357 wrote: Hey there juja. I?m glad you?re back. People come and go so often here in the nest ? there isn?t really a ?group??

I was thinking over the weekend ? after reading your post ? and I remember reading here a loooooong time ago ? that the difference between success and continuing to drink can sometimes just be a 1% lack of true commitment or really believing that we can. We can go about for a long time ? ?wanting? this?.and believing that we want it 100% but there is still that 1% that is a little unsure ? and that 1% will bring us down. I did it for so long. Even before I found this site, I wanted to stop drinking. But then I didn?t really. Deep down, I just wanted to not be controlled by it anymore?it took a long time for this stubborn brain to realize that I had crossed a line and I couldn?t go back.

Once you know you?ve got that 1% tackled then you have to figure out a way to confront that ?running on auto-pilot? mode ? your body pours a drink when you don?t even want one?or you end up at the liquor store when your head is telling you to go home ? or you can?t seem to get away from the thoughts that you should drink or go to the store ?right now ? because you have the chance to??so it?s time to come up with a physical list of things to do. Eat, drink, as Byrdie says - name off all your cousins, clean something, go somewhere, redirect your mind and body.

Don?t worry about trying to do this until tomorrow ? just figure out something to do right then. The longer term stuff will come later. And plan to miserably go to bed early and bored - a few nights in the beginning! Once you get the reward of the morning enough times ? it helps so much. Don?t forget to read the toolbox for help in coming up with your list?.and remember that this list that you?re using is to help you get through a phase?There are a million phases coming up for you?.some challenging ? but none of them lasts forever. I try to remember that right when I think I can?t make it ? that a certain event is going to put me over the edge ? and that it?s too hard?that I?ve had this feeling lots of times over the past year?.and that I always make it through ? and that I always come out of it a little bit stronger and a little bit smarter?

Hi LolaB, thank you so much for this post. It touches just the right spot for me. I totally get the 1% thing. I don't post much in the nest anymore because I found it quite hard to keep up, and like Juja I found everyone racking up days sometimes a little difficult to handle, as basically I kept continually falling off the wagon! When I was here however I found your words inspirational. So again thank you.

Juja, really good to see you again on the boards. I hope you'll stick around.

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

lolab;1369357 wrote:
And plan to miserably go to bed early and bored - a few nights in the beginning! Once you get the reward of the morning enough times – it helps so much.

Lola -

This time I've done this - somewhat inadvertently. I've got nothing better to do - won't drink. Don't want to watch TV. If I stay up any longer - I'm going to get in the car and head to the liquor store down the street.

So - out comes the Melatonin, Valerian, Taurine and Magnesium. I had cooked it up on my own reading different sites - but then I found a couple places have put Melatonin, Valerian, Magnesium and B-6 in a nighty-night pill. Taurine you would still have to add. I DEFY anyone to stay awake with that combo on board. Your muscles relax, your nerves relax, and your brain relaxes. And your pineal gland thinks it's "NIGHT NIGHT" time.

Is it ideal? Probably not. But given in the past 6 months of bingeing - I haven't slept more than 3 hours in a shot - I've got a sleep deprivation bank to build back up - AND - I'm getting up in the morning - with a more positive attitude and not hung over - at least for the first bit - I'm ok. I'm retraining my body to go to sleep. I'm sleeping through the anxiety attacks I was getting every night at 3 am.

But yes - getting up in the morning - having made it through another night AF - is better than not.

Every time.
:l

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Done lurking

I am kind of new here, I was AF for 9 weeks last year and thought I had it beat then BAM Xmas ! Have really struggled since then and I don't really get why. I am in New Zealand and would enjoy a couple of journey buddies as I try again to ditch this monkey?