Newbies Nest

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Fly Away - I missed that!

I'd write a lexicon of Prairie'isms - but I try to contain them here. :-)

[Next, please]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

Day 1. I'm a garbage bag full of emotions. I don't know why, but I can't stop crying. Don't mean to bring the board down

I've got to get my a** in the shower and start the day. Well, actually I don't "have" to because there is no place I "have" to be. I could sit here all day and drown my sorrows in a few bottles of wine, but I'm not going to. Not anymore.

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

:welcome:
Hi Next Please!! Welcome..... I can't tell you how many times I have cried my eyes out too. If this is your day one then that means you are most likely hungover? If that is the case, the booze just compounds on the sadness tenfold!! Without knowing you or your situation, I will try to put myself where you are...on day one with nothing to do. If that is the case, I would GET UP, SHOWER, rinse the cobwebs off your body and go for a really really long walk to detox and think about why you are on DAY ONE. I would then come home and write down all of the reasons to quit. I would read as many threads and posts on this site as possible and I would do anything and everything to stay away from booze which means I would pack my day with stuff to do. I would go to as many AA meetings as I can, I would talk to as many people there as I can. They would be more than happy to help you!!

It is very hard to do but is worth it if you are ready....

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

roon:
That is so absolutely true....reading and/or listening about what food goes with what wine. Delightfully crisp and fresh my ass. The wine is well camoflaged for what is really is to me...... poison that makes me sad, stupid, angry, sick, fat, forgetful, detached, and is a total drain on life itself.

[Ishybit]

Newbies Nest

Hello everyone,
Boy, a lot happens when you step away from the nest! I'm still trying to catch up. For all of the people who are on day 1,2,3 and 1 AGAIN, I totally concur with what everyone has said, no matter what, don't give up!! You will get it, it will happen, keep working on it. I've been around since 2007 and "it" finally clicked for me in 2011-2012! I'm a fricken slow learner but I keep trying.

Lav, thank you for the link to help me change my attitude to gratitude. I have yet to make that switch completely. I don't really feel deprived anymore nor do I really feel full of gratitude so I will definitley need to work on that shift.
Have a great day everyone!

[itsmytime]

Newbies Nest

are struggling to get to day 2. If anyone here knows that feeling, it's ME!! I have spent so many months coming here, either lurking and learning, or getting serious and posting "day 1." Then that day 1 might turn into day 2 or day 3, but then I would slip and stop posting, mostly out of shame or embarrassment. Then I would come back with my tail between my legs and start over again. How many times have I done that? Who knows, but it's a lot!
One thing you have to remember when you see someone racking up days. Those people most likely had SEVERAL attempts before they figured out what they needed to do to get sober. Maybe it was a tool in the toolbox. Maybe something a nester said. Maybe a fight with a loved one. It could be anything. But regardless, they found that "thing" that prompted them to start racking up those days.

And believe me, just because someone has racked up a good amount of days (like me), don't assume that person is cured. I am scared as hell, and I know a lot of other folks up here with a good amount of sober time are too. The beast is everywhere, and he is always looking for ways to ruin lives around him. He doesn't care how many days you've got racked up. He just wants to kill you...

So very true Roon, I was sober for 5 years before I picked up 6 years ago and it spiralled into drinking worse than ever. I have been struggling for 4 years trying to quit . If anything I can say to help someone starting out is, although it may seem to click for some, it wasn't an instant click. I am in the early days and my last "quit" was over a year amd a half ago after 4 months sober - not to mention the days and weeks quitting before and in between. I want to stress that you truly, honestly, 100% completely have to be ready to do whatever it takes to stay sober if you really want it.

I don't know, but this feels like the last time quitting it is just feels different. No matter how many "tries" it takes, when it takes, it is wonderful. I think of all the shitty things I did, said, the awful hangovers, the shame, anxiety and guilt whenever a fleeting thought of drinking crosses my mind and that squashes that thought immediately.

Next, welcome - you are not bringing the board down, this is a board of support and resources. Keep coming back. The first days are awful and emotions are raw, I was crying or on the verge of tears most of the first 30 days. I am only on Day 44 but the dark cloud has lifted and the world is brighter.

Peace to all,
IMT

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening nesters,

Lots going on around here & that's great

PF, you are doing great & you are beginning to experience miracles. Stay on course & there will be many more for you

Rooni, 25 AF days = awesome!!!!

Jenni, glad you changed your mind about the wine ~ it's just not worth it in the end!

Getting real, great on day 2 for you!
A sober Mom is what your kids deserve & now they have her

Greeting FlayAway, kradle, Ishy, IMT & everyone else who dropped in today.
I've had a busy but very good day. Sobriety rocks, don't ever doubt that
Wishing everyone a safe night in the Nest!

Lav

[Imaginary Girl]

Newbies Nest

Next, I can completely relate to what you're saying. I'm on day 10 and I feel so depressed. I felt so good the first few days. WTH? I'm not going to drink no matter what because I want that first 30 days under my belt. But I'll be honest. If I feel like this for the whole 30 days, life is really going to suck.

IG

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Prairie Fairy;1369903 wrote: Oh - and NO - I did not compound my difficulties by running to the liquor store. I am now safely on Day 8.

And given all the shite with the lawyers happening today - that's a bloody miracle if I do say so myself.

Thanks FlyAway:

PRAIRE- I almost PM'd you but maybe others will benefit from this story though I wilL only give the cliff notes here.

You're absolutely right about divorce laywers PF - most are vultures circling. My dearest friend left her abusive, cheating psycho husband after 16 years but unfortunately she did so without a good exit plan. To cope with the stress she turned to, you guessed it, AL, and as the over 100,000 thousand bills piled up, and the GAL proved herself incompetent, arrogant, dismissive and a few other things and the Ex husband hired a pit bull lawyer to destroy for having the temerity to leave him- This layer is a dreadful little man who apparently has an armed security guard at his home because so many people want to kill him, my friend did not handle these curve balls at all well and the more she drank, the more mistakes she made.

So after a five day trial and three lawyers later- one was a complete drunk, who would ask to meet her in the bar across the street from the court house, but he was all she could afford at the time, She lost complete custody of her 3 children and was required to pay alimony to a man who makes over 200,000 thousand a year and does not allow them phones, computers and keeps them virtual prisoners in their home.

She has now been completely sober for 2 and 1/2 years and the narcissistic, cruel man whose craziness has landed 2 of his children in psychiatric hospital actually asked her to come back to him because HIS Life is now disintegrating.

THE HEALTHIER SHE GETS, THE MORE HIS TRUE SICKNESS EMERGES...

My friend is simply one of the kindest, most beautiful woman it has been my priveledge to know. she continues to advocate for her children, work with this insane awful man with love and tolerance-most people would have shot him and buried the body by now- She works with disabled, elderly vulnerable people as a physical therapist and is truly loved and admired by all who meet and know her. But every penny she makes goes to lawyers, medical bills and supporting the also insane sports schedule the Ex set up and the court actually ruled she had to follow, elite camps, travel teams, ect so she barely has money to put gas in her car.

I have watched her cope with this horrendous predicament for the sake of her children and I can not tell you how proud I am of her. She is a main reason I am AL free today. And MWO of course. She choose, rehab and AA.

I can't look at her so close to me and not think, "Well, if SHE can do it, so can I !!" There may be a little competition going on too...

So I tell you her story Prairie mainly so you know you are in no way alone though of course your landscape, your struggle is personal to you.

I am so proud of you too for getting through those fucking lawyer meetings. I sat in on a few and can't believe what these people do is legal or spouses can be so cruel, so sick especially to our kids.

You must stay free of AL. It's the only way. But I know you know that...:h

I am thinkiing of you and chanting for your complete victory!

Love, hugs and strength my friend,
:h. :huggy

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

IG, you are going to have a real mind change on Day 13. Something just clicks on that day and things fall into place. You realize that what you are doing is not impossible, that by taking it one day at a time, this IS something you can live with. Just hang in there to D13, and you will not be sorry! You will never have 2 bad days in a row....don't stop now, the hardest part is done! So proud of you!
Stay strong everyone...it IS worth the work! Byrdie

[Getting real123]

Newbies Nest

Made it through day 2! Only 28 more to go. Ugh. If I sleep through the next 28 days does it still count?

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Getting real123;1370114 wrote: Made it through day 2! Only 28 more to go. Ugh. If I sleep through the next 28 days does it still count?

:H I know exactly what you mean. I wanted to be in a coma for the first week

Feel much better at three months. Lots of ice cream and l glut! :l

The secret weapon. Ha!

:h.

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

:lipstick::lipstick:Morning, all,-grrrr. I detest alarm clocks!

Off to work early, but want to give my support to everyone for the day.

PF-Your friend's story is horrific. If she can can get through all that AF, I ought to be able to, as well.

Keep up the good work, everyone. :l:lipstick:

[Nelz]

Newbies Nest

Getting real123;1370114 wrote: Made it through day 2! Only 28 more to go. Ugh. If I sleep through the next 28 days does it still count?

How bout making 7 days your next "major" goal. IMO the first day is one of the hardest, so that is a great goal.

Then you set another goal, a little farther out, 7 days, because thats only 6 days away, and at that point you will have reached 2 goals.

Now you have reached two goals within a week, and feeling good about yourself.

Next go for the biggy........the 30 day monster. The duration between the goals slowly increases, sort of building up your resistance and before you know it, you will have a few months AF...and the beast will slowly be dying and become less powerful

Hope maybe that helps

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning all Nesters!

Hope everyone had a safe night in the Nest
Feeling a little guilty here enjoying nice sunny weather while hurricane Issac wreaks havoc down south.

Getting real, you are doing just fine, hang in there & start thinking about developing an attitude of gratitude ~ it really helps! Dumping the deprivaion (negative) thinking makes this journey much easier.

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Hump day!
Lav