Newbies Nest

[ronnie]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone
Can i join in as i need alot of support, i just cant get passed 60 days a/f and i want to be a/f so much, life is much better sober. I am back on day 1 again and really want to do this. I have lost count on how many day 1 i have had.

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Prairie Fairy;1369499 wrote:

My mother likes to say that when God was handing out patience - I skipped that line entirely and stood in the lines for stubborn and courage twice each instead.

Omgod PF....I LOVE it!!!!! That sounds all too familiar here!!!!! Thanks for making me smile first thing this morning!

Good morning to all my peeps! I am just checking in briefly before I head to work....I have been soooo busy lately and when I get home today I am going to have to read back in the posts to see what has been going on. I took some pics this weekend while I was riding and I will try to figure out how to post them on here later. I hope everyone is having a great AF Wednesday....I am 38 days AF....Woot!!!!!!!!!:h

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Hey Kradle.....just a quick hello here on my end! I am soooo glad that Olivia is doing good...she has not been far from my thoughts! I went riding this weekend and got some good pics and I will post then this afternoon when I figure out how!!!!!! Ha! I can see that you are still hanging tough and I am so proud of you....it's 38 days for me today...YAY!

[patrice]

Newbies Nest

Hiya all,

Wow Kradle, the experience of your friend is just horrendous, but wow what courage to turn her life around re the alcohol.

Hi Desitiny, Lavande, PF, Brydlady, ronnie, Nelz,juju and all here..

I've just finished day 7 which does feel great and, like everyone here, I'm just putting one foot in front of the other. A lot of the gloom I've been feeling over the last 6 months seems to be lifting slowly but very surely and although I'm still feeling down at times throughout the day.. those times are getting less and now don't last very long at all.

And I guess that means that those physical and mental toxins are getting out. But whatever it is ... it sure beats the way I was feeling 8 days ago!!!

I'm sure other's must have similar experiences at this stage of the af journey??

Take care
Patrice

[Getting real123]

Newbies Nest

A bright new day! All your stories and kind words inspire me.

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Day 26

Day 26, and I must admit, I'm starting to get used to waking up without being in a panic. That was always one of the worst parts of drinking for me - the next morning. Hangovers just downright suck, but so does all the anxiety, shame, and guilt that goes along with them. I always dreaded that walk down the hall first thing in the morning - not knowing what I would find in the living room. My first thought was aways to find my purse and phone. Next, I would inspect my car for damages. Once that first part was over, the rest of my day would be spent trying to piece together the night before - who I had talked to, the subject of my conversations, the drunk dials, the drive home, the crappy food I had stopped to get while drunk off my ass, the work that I was supposed to catch up on.....

Now, I wake up fully aware of the night before. My coffee is ready to brew, and I'm ready to face the day. Don't get me wrong, I still have some anxiety, but that knot of stress is gone now. I don't have those moments of waking up in a panic anymore. I wake up calmly and think about my day.

The more I think back to the hell hole I lived in with drinking, the more I relish in my sobriety. God, that life was awful. So awful. I am so blessed to have gotten a hold of things before something terrible happened, because I know it was inevitable.

Have a great, sober day everyone. Don't feed the beast!

[girly wirly]

Newbies Nest

hey all,

mind if i pull up a chair?

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Girly!
Welcome back! Pull up a chair and velcro, glue, staple or tape your butt to the Nest. How are you?
K9

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Hi guys -

And Kradle - I saw your note on G's thread worrying it was ok to write that long post here - of course it is.

I'm struggling today.

As the AL fog lifts - I'm finding that I'm clearer about things I want in my life and things I don't - things I need and things I miss.

And I think I was also drinking - not just because of everything else but because there are truths about what I'm not going to get in my relationship for several more years I don't want to face. And that I will probably face choices I don't want to make down this road. AND YES LAV - I don't have to make them today.

In fact - it's quite possible - if I put a positive spin on it - when he sees me doing better - he may well decide to make changes. After all - why make life changes when he hasn't seen me make any sustained change so far. The longest I've been AF is 35 days.

And one of the major issues is outside of his control - his ex - and she is trying to make a change that fundamentally alters things anyway - and if she does - it makes things positive things possible years early - and there is no waiting.

So - this requires some patience on my part - which I get I am lacking.

But I am forced to realize that some of this is coping choice - albeit poor ones - for things I'm not getting now. That I want now. And I have to figure out what I do with that. And he get's angry about it when I try to talk to him because he is being pulled in 9 million directions - and I know that. I also know that I deserve attention too.

So today - I am struggling. I am sad. I need a hug I am not going to get. But I can't drink today. Because nothing good has come of my drinking. Nothing.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Smoke-free for:

3 days, 1 hour, 22 minutes, 52 seconds

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Lav -

The stickers I'm currently using to mark my sober days are roosters...they make me think of Stella (ok, I know she's a hen). Give her a peck for me!

K9

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

PF, yes, patience is hard to come by....I pray daily for it...and hurry! You didn't get in this place over night and it takes some time to prove to others that you have turned the corner. I didn't blame my husband for not believing me 'this time'...because I had never demonstrated before that I could be sober. Time makes all the difference. Plus things change as you go along, I think the more you get to know your sober self, the more you will like you!!! And the more that happens, the more others like you too! So you just never know....being sober will help you get what you want!! You are doing it, I'm so happy for you!
K9, how long has it been now??? 3 days....you poor thing...I know you could smoke carpet if somebody rolled it up for you. I admire your tackling this. You are an inspiration!! You don't want Lav's chickens to come peck your eyes out!!! You are so funny, even in the face of difficulty you find a way to laugh. Well done to you!!
Welcome Girly and all others who have found the path into our nest. Stick around, as you can see we have lots of success here! Stay strong everyone, AL IS out to get you!! Byrdie

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1370451 wrote: PF, yes, patience is hard to come by....I pray daily for it...and hurry! You didn't get in this place over night and it takes some time to prove to others that you have turned the corner. I didn't blame my husband for not believing me 'this time'...because I had never demonstrated before that I could be sober. Time makes all the difference. Plus things change as you go along, I think the more you get to know your sober self, the more you will like you!!! And the more that happens, the more others like you too! So you just never know....being sober will help you get what you want!! You are doing it, I'm so happy for you!
Byrdie

I know Byrdie...

I didn't get here overnight - and I don't blame anyone for not believing me yet. I know it's time that's going to prove it. And I am determined to keep placing my feet on this path. I said when I came home - I was going to put things to right so that I could have the life I want.

Well - that's what I'm going to do. If getting to the life I want takes a path I didn't intend - well - we don't always get to direct how we get there...

But what I can control is what I said I would do - which was put things right so I can have the life I want.

And the first part of that is this walk I am taking.

I just want to keep having the strength to walk it - even when I feel alone.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

PF, I believe in you. This is your time. I'm so proud of you. B

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

rooniferd;1370358 wrote: Day 26, and I must admit, I'm starting to get used to waking up without being in a panic. That was always one of the worst parts of drinking for me - the next morning. Hangovers just downright suck, but so does all the anxiety, shame, and guilt that goes along with them. I always dreaded that walk down the hall first thing in the morning - not knowing what I would find in the living room. My first thought was aways to find my purse and phone. Next, I would inspect my car for damages. Once that first part was over, the rest of my day would be spent trying to piece together the night before - who I had talked to, the subject of my conversations, the drunk dials, the drive home, the crappy food I had stopped to get while drunk off my ass, the work that I was supposed to catch up on.....

Now, I wake up fully aware of the night before. My coffee is ready to brew, and I'm ready to face the day. Don't get me wrong, I still have some anxiety, but that knot of stress is gone now. I don't have those moments of waking up in a panic anymore. I wake up calmly and think about my day.

The more I think back to the hell hole I lived in with drinking, the more I relish in my sobriety. God, that life was awful. So awful. I am so blessed to have gotten a hold of things before something terrible happened, because I know it was inevitable.

Have a great, sober day everyone. Don't feed the beast!

Amen Rooni. Nice not to check from drunk dials, drunk texts, and worst of all - the dreaded drunk FaceBooks....at 2 am - that you wiped out at 6:30 am hoping your insomniac friends weren't calling each other about...