Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Lolab, what a great story...2 years ago I was heading into the peak of my AL nosedive. I don't even remember the holidays...dam. This is a new time...a time for hope and happiness. It's a life that does NOT include AL. I am so glad to wake up in the morning and not have my entire day and night dictated by drinking, getting a drink, how much others are drinking, disposing of the empties, and my supply. Just exhausting.
Stumpy, don't worry about your weight right now...you might pick up a couple pounds in the first 2 weeks or so, but over time, I bet you lose weight. I have lost 13 pounds since I went AF and as you can tell by my posts, I am good to myself. I wish I could say that I eat healhy stuff all the time...I do try to be balanced, but I love cookies and when I find my thoughts wandering to things they shouldn't, I enjoy a cookie. But I don't eat mindlessly....I enjoy the food and think about it as I'm eating. The yoga folks onboard call it mindfulness. I like that.
You are doing great, stay the course and you will never regret it! You will wake up tomorrow on big Day 3!!! I am so proud of you! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Stumpy, eat all you want to eat right now. We'll worry about calories in a later chapter

Lola & Byrdie, things sure have changed for all of us!
Thinking back to just how miserable I really was in that wine fueled haze - ugh! Never again for us, right?? We are much better & stronger now

K9, I think Stella left you a little gift - something from her heart (or possibly tail section) :H



Wishing everyone a safe night in the Nest!
Lav

[finallydone]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters! I finally have time tonight to catch-up with the happenings in the nest. I started school back on Monday and have been working after school until late and studying as well. Hope everyone is having a safe and sober Labor Day weekend!

[ronnie]

Newbies Nest

Arvo nesters
Well i blew it again, why cant i get past day 4 i did so well a few months ago i really want to get back there.
I am going to go to an AA meeting on Tuesday i have been in the past and it helped me so hopefully it will help me again.
I feel good today and the sun is shining i know i have so much going for me i am just going to keep telling myself that i can & will do this.

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

What is it about Day 4??? I failed so many times after day 4....it was the devil on my shoulder telling me that if I could go 4 days AF, then surely I don't have a problem. But then back I go to the bottle plus of wine a night immediately. So, I totally relate to what you are going through Ronnie!!!!!
I have a few more days this time. I think it is because a couple of things happened over the summer: both my 12 year old and 15 year old noticed I was drinking WAY TOO MUCH. Having my 12 year old yell at me in front of all our friends that I was drunk is something I will NEVER forget. The other thing that I have come to realize is this: no matter if I drink or don't drink, I will still have all of my life's problems (aside from the booze). But, alcohol makes those problems worse because it compromises the rational tools I have (and am now cultivating since they have been repressed by alcohol for the past 25 years) to deal with those problems. Alcohol is such a vicious catch 22....you have your problems/stresses, whatever, so you drink to escape them or to blot them out for a while but the the catch is, by doing that, you really are not dealing with those problems so they don't go away. The alcohol compounds on those problems as well because in addition to the life problems you have, you are dealing with blackouts and hangovers practically 24 hours a day......How are you supposed to grow as a person when you are blotting out half of your life with booze????

I am sort of thinking out loud so sorry for the rambling. I have been up since 4am with these thoughts racing through my head....It is a bit exhausting...this AF stuff, but it is such an interesting journey of self reflection and getting to know myself better!!! (not to mention, the improvement with the relationships with my family and the improvement in my health)

Have a great Sunday all!!!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Dark on this Sunday morning awaiting rain, oh well. I'm up & alert & going ahead with plans for my family BBQ. Just hope the burgers don't get rain soaked :H

jennie, sorry you are losing sleep but it sounds like you are achieving some real clarity & that can't be a bad thing
It's true, life's problems don't just stop when when we quit AL but they are easier to deal with when your head is clear. There will be no going back for me - no matter what goes on.
I just read a post from a girl 10 months sober on QuitNet who is battling drinking thoughts while on her family vacation. She seems to be having a hard time remembering why she quit while watching her family drink around here. It's a shame, I hope she finds the strength she needs to resist & use the link to MWO I posted for her. Life goes on!

ronnie, you know after all your attempts that it is ultimately your choice to resume drinking! You do have the power & the tools to resist, I hope you choose to use them.

Good to see you FD, school will definitely keep you busy

Wishing everyone a great AF Sunday!
Lav

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

30 days!!!

jenniech;1372567 wrote: How are you supposed to grow as a person when you are blotting out half of your life with booze????

That is a great question, Jenni!!

Hi everyone, this is the day. The big DAY 30 for me. I've been lying in my bed this morning, snuggling with the pups, wondering what insightful thing I could post on this momentous day....

The obvious benefits I've seen are things like no more hangovers, no waking up in a panic, no filthy house, no scratches on my car from who knows where, no DUIs, no angry communications with family, no missing work from being hungover, no lies about drinking, no bar tabs, no late-night greasy snacks that I find all over my car the next morning, no drunk dials/texts, etc. And the list goes on....

But one of the most important changes I've seen in these mere 30 days....

I've awakened to a whole new world. A world that I can see clearly. A world of endless possibilities. It's kinda hard to explain, but I guess it's kind of like a person who has been in jail for years and years who is suddenly free to go. Imagine that person walking the streets, still having to pinch himself that he's not really dreaming. A person who is curious about everything he sees. So much has changed in the years he's been imprisioned. People are different. Places are different. Everything looks so new and inviting. He feels like a child sometimes as he walks down the street. Now that he's out of jail, he can make his own choices and do all those things he dreamed about doing in his jail cell. He is FREE!!!!!!

I know that may sound a little corny, but I swear, I feel like I've been let out of prison. Alcohol addiction is like being in jail, in my opinion. It keeps us from doing the things we want to do and being the people we want to be. It keeps us in a fog. It keeps us dreaming about the what ifs and the coulda-shouldas. When you take alcohol from the equation, now you are free to live the life the alcohol was keeping you separated from all those years.

I am starting to feel like I fit in more now. I used to walk through the grocery store or the mall, mad or pissed off at people for random reasons. Sometimes I would get pissed at people who even looked happy. Now, I'm one of those people! I smile more. I take time out to be nice to people more. I return "how are you?" to the cashiers at the grocery store now.

I don't dread weekends anymore. I don't dread Mondays anymore.

I am more active now than I've been in a long time. My body is slowing recovering from all the abuse, and it shows. I wake up in the mornings, ready to walk my dogs. Even my dogs have noticed a change in me. They don't fight anymore. I know they used to get frustrated when I would come home wasted and forget to feed them.

I have lost three pounds at Weight Watchers!!

I know I am rambling, but my thoughts are all over the place today. I have worked so hard to get to day 30. I must have tried this hundreds of times, failing each time until now.

For all your newbies, I know it's easy to read someone's success post and be like "yeah, yeah, I know it's great, but I'm still stuck back here on my hampster wheel..." If I can do this, so can anybody!! Trust me, believe me, THIS AF LIFE IS AMAZING!!

Don't you even want to know what it's like? Don't you owe that to yourself??

It's like the freakin' matrix. You can see the world for what it really is, and it can be so beautiful without alcohol.

Thank you, Byrdie, Lav, and all the other nesters for the support you've given me to get to 30 days. I owe you my life!!

Off to the next 30 days!!!!

inkele:

[stumpy]

Newbies Nest

I made it to Day 3! it's not so bad, I slept for 10 hours, thats unheard of for me. Going to breakfast with the hubby then cleaning my car. Maybe, I'll really get a rea; power surge and wash my hair today. Thank you everyone for helping me these last three days. I'll be sticking close by for a long time to come.

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

Good rainy morning all,

I haven't posted for awhile, but have been following everyone.

Roon and PF--Yay to both of you! :goodjob: Your posts are insightful and helpful. Please keep talking.

ronnie and Jenn--I'm with you at the stumbling block. I can't find "my quit." Maybe I don't want to...I'm still struggling with that. I can say that my AL consumption has lessened considerably in the past year--no falling, driving drunk, arguments with DH, etc. I suppose I am changing in small increments. I've been AF 9 out of the last 13 days. That's great for me.

Hi, stumpy, lolab, lavande, Byrd, finally done, and everyone else I can't see from here.

Have a AF holiday. I will.

[itsmytime]

Newbies Nest

:goodjob: Rooni on 30 days!!! It feels great doesn't it. I am right with you in feeling free, it is an amazing feeling.

Busy board, I haven't been on much but doing very well. I am on Day 49 and no desire to drink and to those just starting out the thoughts of AL are starting to subside. Keep at it and it gets better with each passing day. After 30 the cloud really started to lift.

I was out Friday night with friends to a dance and it was great being sober. It doesn't bother me at all and my friends are barely batting an eye that I am not drinking. They were witness to my drinking getting out of control and are really supportive. I am very grateful.

To be out seeing others drunk is a real eyeopener for sure on two accounts. The first is that how unattractive it is and the other is that I was always one of the ones that was drunk the most. But thankfully those days are over.

I was asked what it was like to dance sober, and I answered it was easy - just feel the music. One of my favourite sayings is "Dance like no one is watching" and that is how I am living my life on my own terms and enjoying it.

Have a great Sunday all

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Rooni, your post gave me goose bumps....I know exactly what you mean by being set free...I know that some consider us here hard nosed AF'ers....but being out of that prision is worth it. Enabling YOURSELF by allowing alcohol is only keeping you in that cell. My analogy is that I felt like Dorothy on The Wizard of Oz...one morning I woke up and the world was in color! Remember that scene where it goes from black and white? Yes, it was just THAT dramatic.
It is with GREAT PRIDE....on behalf of the Newbie's Nest, that I give you, your 30 day hat!!!! :day5: Well done....a battle hard fought is all the sweeter!!
Ronnie...Can you answer that question yourself...Why? What got you this time? Peer pressure? The thoughts that maybe you really don't have a problem? This is where you have to pick up and arm yourself. Print out your posts of when you come here in defeat. Why AL is hurting you and your life...get all that in one place and USE it when you get a thought that you can have a drink. One drink only leads to another...you know it, I know it....it's a cliche because it is true.
Stumpy! Well done on Day 3! You are now operating under you own power....all the AL is out of your system!! I'm so proud of you, and am getting your hat ready, cause I feel confident that you are going to go the distance!
Stay strong everyone...use your time to be of service to someone else today...it comes back in spades. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[stumpy]

Newbies Nest

Rooni, when I grow up, I want to be just like you! Congrats on 30 days!

[Getting real123]

Newbies Nest

Great job Rooni! And to all who have been able to meet their AL goals on this holiday weekend

Stumpy, I found day 3 to be torture but I am now on day 7 and on a roll. It feels great, so hang in there!

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

"I know I am rambling, but my thoughts are all over the place today."

Roon, if that post was rambling on, please continue to ramble. It was a great post about sobriety and how wonderful life is and full of hope for those struggling to get to that point. You expressed yourself well. See, I have a big smile on my face for you and others who achieve what you have.

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Jenni,

Throughout my drinking experience, I always found Day 4 to be the day I would go back into the bottle every time I told myself, I can't do this anymore. The shame and embarrassment, shattered life, lost moments, harm to family relationships, etc. would all be forgotten after each day 3. For me I feel that the day after my drinking binge (just going to have one or two and not stopping until I was a drunken mess), would lead to one to two days with no alcohol because I was too sick to drink. Then day four comes and bam, there I go again. Sometimes day 3, but always by day 4. For me day 1 through 3 were easy and day 4 through 9 were hell. Day 11 today, and I feel better. I'm sure it's going to knock, but at least I can think and have armed myself with this board and yesterday bought a few supplements.

I've wanted to stop for a long time, but not enough to really do it. I left a post on Day 8 about a message I received by text that for some reason combined with all the other mess I was creating in my life, really kicked me in the behind. You have teen year kids...oh do I know what that is like. However, now she is the one that really made me smack myself to attention. What would happen to her life if I died from my choice to drink? Car wreck? Illness? I almost died a few times in life and it is the worse feeling to know you may leave your child motherless. The worse!!!

"Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one thing." ~Abraham Lincoln~

Well wishes.

"Always