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    Newbies Nest

    Slayer-no words were spoke truer (Nothing worthwhile comes easy) thanks

    PF- we cannot have just one, I really thought I had it under control

    Patrice- thanks for the branch. My Mom lived a life no one should. It was full of abuse from my father, and when I was a child I told her I would never smoke or drink. I did both. I quit smoking years ago, and have been fighting this for years. My Mom was the perfect lady, and I always wanted to be like her. All of us girls did. That is why I would never want my Mom to know what a failure I have been to her and all the family. This affliction is a failure, it is a weakness, one that is so difficult to keep under control. Thanks for letting me vent
    Goal
    I am starting over as of Sept 6
    SHIT this is so stupid (I hate AL)

    AF since June 30, 2012
    be AF for 7 days yea done:yay::yay:
    be AF for 21 days July 21, 2012 boy I did it
    be AF for 30 Days July 30, 2012 I have done it:thanks: to all the nesters
    Now to be AF for 60 days Aug 29---blew it
    Work to be AF for 90 days Sept 28---blew it

    I have been AF for 1 month Oct, 2011
    I have been AF before for 3 months Mar 16, 2011-July 2010

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      Newbies Nest

      Litre - I "failed" at day 40 about 4 times before I finally "got it"....does that mean my sober days were wasted? NOPE! I learned from them and got stronger each time. Do not let this get you down. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get right back in the game! You CAN do this, I have faith in you!

      Lav - What did Stella leave for me the other day? I didn't see anything!!! Please give her little feathers a ruffle for me and tell her I said HI! The image of her face is permanently etched into my brain. If I were to EVER consider drinking, I think it's Stella's mug that would pop into my head!

      Byrdie - Of course you are needed you silly woman! Doesn't it make you feel good to know how well you've taught us? And of course your saying will always stick with me "No madda what, no madda who" (I turned it into the Sopranos version. LOL)

      Prairie - GREAT job sticking with the Antabuse. TTDP can be our theme song (for those of you that don't know, it means: Take The Damn Pill!)

      Ok everyone, glue, staple, paste, velcro, or tape your butts to the Nest! No falling out allowed!

      Love,
      K9
      :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

      Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

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        Newbies Nest

        Litre2, I'm sorry you are feeling so down. No such think as failure, only lessons. Time to move forward, you can do it. I'm only on day 6 and I know, I may feel strong today but one never knows what tomorrow will bring. Hang in there.
        AF since 8/29/12 Goal 30 day-screwed up on day 9
        AF since 9/9/12- Goal 30 days
        STUMPY IS A LADY!

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          Newbies Nest

          Litre- hang in! I'm only Day 2 and have done the same. Felt like crap - guilt anxiety, lack of sleep yesterday - feel 110% better today. Longest was 30 days - felt great thought I could handle. Find myself on a very slippery slope that needs to be corrected.
          LOVE this thread and it is really the motivation I needed to take direction and CONTROL. So much valued information and advice from everyone. It is really motivating. Thanks to everyone for your advice.
          Sharky

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            Newbies Nest

            YAY Sharky, you made it to day 2..big high five to you!! Day 3 was the hardest so far for me but not that bad, stay close to us and you'll get through this. Congrats on Day 2.
            AF since 8/29/12 Goal 30 day-screwed up on day 9
            AF since 9/9/12- Goal 30 days
            STUMPY IS A LADY!

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              Newbies Nest

              Litre, as you can see from our very newest newbies...it only takes a couple of good AF days under you belt to make you feel like a shiny penny again. This time you know that you cannot control that which controls us. Please make a note of that post number, and pull it out next time you consider putting a drink to your lips...if our words can't stop you, maybe your own will. THAT is the beauty of this place...we have our past posts to remind us of where we were when we all began our last Day 1. Stick with us, we wouldn't lead you astray!! Who could argue with people that are urging you NOT to drink??? (you'd be surprised). Cut off the head of the beast and don't feed it!!
              Great job on coming back!! We will get you on the right track! Byrdie
              All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
              Tool Box
              Newbie's Nest

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                Newbies Nest

                K9, that is so funny you put that Soprano spin on my saying!! If you could hear my Southern accent!! I think it's more effective your way!!! Has more muscle behind it!!! Lav, how is your recovery day from the G-babies??? Do they get along with the chickens? I think I'm afraid of chickens...and clowns...and hand puppets. That's for another session, I guess (on a couch!!) Strength to all, MindPeace! Byrdie
                All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                Tool Box
                Newbie's Nest

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                  Newbies Nest

                  Great job to everybody!! Yes, Litre2 - also you - because you are here now...that is the important thing...if you let the alcohol funnel cloud suck you in - telling you it's not 'that' important to stop now - that's when the trouble continues. In a few days, your mood will lift and the feelings of failure will not be so heavy - and you'll have confidence that you can do this...:l

                  I'm achey today...could be the weather....could be psychosomatic - feeling like an OLD person with a kid in high school...;-)

                  Byrdie, I found a halloween costume for you...
                  ~

                  Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.

                  Sobriety date: Sept 26, 2011

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                    Newbies Nest

                    Litre, you came back quickly and that's huge. You could have just kept drinking and you didn't. Don't beat yourself up, you are back and determined. Lesson learned now carry on

                    It must be the time frame as K9 says as out of the blue today I started bargaining with myself WTH?? Well not going there as I have tried to mod and I am not the modding type. Letting the feelings float on by and reminding myself how fantastic sobriety is. I am only on day 51 and know that these days will pop up having gone down this road before. I think reaching milestones of 30 day increments for the first while bring the cravings.

                    I had to come home at lunch to sign in and vent as it helps me tremendously.
                    new beginnings July 16, 2012

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                      Newbies Nest

                      Lolab - That's an awesome costume for Byrdie! She will look fabulous in it! She can add some thought bubbles off to the side that says "No madda what"...."No madda who" !! LOL

                      IMT - You are doing fantastic! Don't say "only on day 51"....YOU ARE ON DAY 51 and that is AWESOME!!! Stay vigilant though. Don't let that bastard alcohol romanticize drinking for you. As I like to say (and sadly it's true): "Drinking for me is not rainbows and butterflies....it's handcuffs, DUI's and a cellmate named Diablo". Now that's a harsh dose of reality right there! LOL
                      :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                      Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

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                        Newbies Nest

                        K9 - here's your gift from Stella :H



                        IMT, don't l;et the thoughts freak you out ~ they're just thoughts. Kick them to the curb

                        Bydie, I did drag my tired butt to Curves & actually felt better for doing that BUT
                        I am considering a short granny nap :H

                        Litre - Let this be the LAST TIME you are fooled by AL!!!!!!!!!
                        Don't keep putting yourself in the position of losing out on precious time with your kids & grandkids!
                        You are not your Dad you are better, much better.
                        Suggestion: Erase all those dates in your signature line & just enter today's date: AF 9/5/2012
                        Then do everything in your power to make that true.
                        AF since 03/26/09
                        NF since 05/19/09
                        Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                          Newbies Nest

                          Lolab!!!! WHAT A GREAT COSTUME!!! I love it!! Do I have to get the tattoo's too?? With Soprano bubbles off to the side, K9 where do you get this stuff?? You have better writers than I do!!!
                          I was thinking this morning about the fact that this is the peak of hurricane season. I stay vigilant about this, and I am prepared. I have a plan of what needs to be done and when. This AF path is no different. You need to have a plan in place of what you are going to do and say when life happens. Trust me on this one, Hope is not a strategy. Hoping you get thru something will not work in this fight. You must plan your offense. I'm really not kidding...many a nester including myself have been DERAILED by an out-of-the-blue peer pressure tactic. Or coming home from work and swinging in the store...or being in the grocery store and you see wine on sale....have a plan in place and don't go down the rabbit hole. Set yourself up for success, and imagine yourself getting thru it without the crutch of AL. If I can do it, you can do it...Byrdie
                          All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                          Tool Box
                          Newbie's Nest

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                            Newbies Nest

                            Byrd,

                            "many a nester including myself have been DERAILED by an out-of-the-blue peer pressure tactic. Or coming home from work and swinging in the store...or being in the grocery store and you see wine on sale."


                            *I can see that clearly. I just returned from the grocery store and it is routine for me to look inside the alcohol coolers or isles. It was strange to come to that Isle as my brain clicked right to what has been habit and programmed for so long. As I mentioned earlier to Allan, I am now vigilant about noting these little triggers or habits in real time and immediately knocking the thought down. It will take time of developing new habits before the old ones aren't on autopilot in my brain. I am, also, suddenly very aware of how many shows and movies have people drinking alcohol in them. It pops out like a neon sign now. Our culture is definitely under the influence.

                            Ok, so I did get a personal size apple pie treat for lunch instead of food. I had a sugar craving again. At least I'm not going to make a fool of myself with that indulgence and I feel satisfied. I'm currently amused at myself after this trip.

                            Working on a budget next without the alcohol expenditure. I've been buying myself a few new items lately in place of the alcohol and that feels much better. I have something to show for it that is positive. However, I need to put a financial plan in place and next up a plan moving from day 14 to day 30. Those little triggers or past habits are everywhere.

                            Still determined and resolved with more awareness.
                            Rule your mind or it will rule you. It is from a thought that an action grows. :bat

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                              Newbies Nest

                              Morning all
                              I love reading back on all your posts as it sets me up for the day, i am treating myself to some new clothes out of the money that i would of spent on AL and it feels great to do that.
                              Well i have made it to day 5 and its all down to the help of you wonderful people, my relationship with hubby is getting better which is another reason for me to stay A/F.
                              The longer you go without AL the easier it gets you just have to hang in there, life is so much better and it keeps getting better.
                              Hope you all have a great day xxx
                              :dancin: enguin:
                              starting over

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                                Newbies Nest

                                Hey everyone!! Glad to read your posts....please keep reading and posting. It not only helps YOU but selfishly, it helps me a great deal....
                                A wee bit worried about tomorrow....I live in metro NY area and have to go to Burlington VT tomorrow for a business meeting. The thing is, there is not much selection in flights so I am leaving for airport at 6am, arriving VT 10am, meeting 11am to about 12:30pm and then I have until 5pm for my flight. I am just worried that I will feel stressed and weak and I won't have MWO to go to for help...so I am going to bring loads to read and keep myself very busy....and I will walk that city as much as possible!!! Have a good night all...
                                I just won't anymore

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