Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

:H :H :H
You mean the Lav, Lola & Byrdie show :H :H :H

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

If the Nesters are out there getting into trouble..........
They are going to have to answer to STELLA!

[stumpy]

Newbies Nest

Lav, shaking head back and forth...I'm being really good tonight. No more getting into trouble for me...Hell no!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Glad to hear that stumpy -
Stella sends you a :l but she's still out looking for the others :H

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

I am a newbie

I am new to this site as well as posting things....I hope I am doing this correctly. I am oneredshoe, I am not sure where to begin so if this is annoying lengthy I apologize in advance. I didn't realize up until a couple of days ago how much of a problem I have with alcohol. I don't drink everyday usually on the weekends or when I am extremely stressed out and often to the point of remembering only bits and pieces of the night, and more often than I like to admitt... to complete black outs.
I have been married for 15 years, not all happy as my husband has his own issues with alcohol and isn't the niceest when he drinks, but, I love him nonetheless. I often nag him about his drinking, I guess I felt I could because I don't drink everyday, which makes me a huge hypocrit. He travels a lot and is gone often for months at a time. I have suffered "minor" consequences due to my drinking...mostly hellish hangovers, embarrassement being reminded or told of a drunk dial, something stupid I said or of complete emotional double clutch ugly cries. That was up until recently when I woke up absolutely horrified at the extremely hazy memory of a very brief intense makeout moment with a very good friend of mine...whom I am not even remotely attracted to. He is several years older than me....I have always kind of viewed him as a father figure. I am friends with his wife and kids....we share a pretty close network of friends....I am completely mortified! We are all neighbhors on a small lake with summer homes....his wife very rarely comes out and my husband is always gone during the summer so we hang out a lot. It has always been a very innocent friendship up until this past weekend. I don't even remember who initiated the very brief makeout session. I woke up thinking it was some crazy bad dream and then I realized that it wasn't it. I dont remeber details I just remember something happened. I went into panic mode I was shaking and dry heaving. He came to my place and I profusely apologized stating that it was a huge mistake that I had never done anything like that before and said it would never happen again. He said not to worry about it that we were both pretty trashed. I have had panic attacks, crying fits, dry heaves since then. I really want to crawl into a hole and never show
my face again! I couldn't look my own self in the mirror let alone our mutual friends. I don't want to tell my husband...I think doing so would send him over the edge. It is my burden of guilt to carry not his. However I am scared to death that my friend may tell his wife. I swear I have never had any previous thoughts of doing something like this with him. I have never cheated on my husband...why did I do this. I am also very angry with myself for ruining what was a very innocent friendship. This could unravel my marriage, his marriage, and our group of friends. I can't BELEAVE I did this. I am so upset with myself.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Hello & welcome Oneredshoe!

I'm glad you found us, please settle in & make yourself comfortable
You had quite a weekend, maybe it was enough to jumpstart you into making some real changes. Please try to be calm & understand that we have all had some horrific AL- fueled moments. But, if you chooseso, that can be your last! Don't waste time beating yourself up, it doesn't do any good. What's done is done & can't be changed. Change your future, it's your choice!

The best place to start is by downloading the MWO book from the health store here on the site. it's full of info about the program.
Next you need to make yourself a good plan. Take a look in the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html for lots of great ideas.
Stay close to the Nest, we're here to support one another.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the Nest!
Lav

[stumpy]

Newbies Nest

Hi Oneredshoe, welcome to MWO. Wow, I can only imagine how you feel, I doubt that your friend would tell his wife. He's probably afraid of losing the friendship as well. Blackouts are never good, I only had one over my drinking career and It did scare the heck out of me. Have you ever tried to stop drinking for a period of time?
When you say a makeout session, does that mean just kissing?
I was awful on facebook some nights when I was buzzed/drunk. I would get up at 4:30am to erase everything I wrote praying that no one saw what I wrote. I know the fear you are feeling.

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Oneredshoe - if you go to the emergency section - you will see several threads started by several people who came here after exactly the same sort of experience you had. You are not at all alone on MWO with that moment - and I think if you wander over and read some of those threads - you may find some relief in that.

Welcome. Everyone of us has done so many things we are not proud of under the influence. But we are here - trying to do better and create new lives for ourselves. I hope you are able to get some sleep tonight - if not - think about what you want to accomplish where it comes to AL.

If you are ready to try to make a break from it - start cleaning it's influence out of your life - we are happy to be your cheering squad.

To everyone else - I've been running like a chicken all weekend - but wanted to say XOXOXOXOXOX - I am wrapping up Day 20. Life is so much better.

[stumpy]

Newbies Nest

Prairie, So proud of you! 20 days is a lot. WTG!

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Prairie! :goodjob:

Has it been 20 days already!! ? Holy cow how time flies when we're having fun!

Congratulations:h
:l

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Hello all,

just have a question for the regulars here. Does anyone know whether its better to post new threads on "Just Starting Out" or in "General Discussion" I have been posting on both but really dont know if there is a difference.

thanks

ALLAN

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good Monday morning Nesters,

Allan, post where ever you like. I imagine the nature of your post might help you decide where to post. If you want responses from some MWO long timers, you might want to post in General.

PF, congrats on your 20 AF days! Getting to be a new habit, huh?

Greetings to everyone & wishes for a terrific AF Monday!
Lav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Allan, I have enjoyed ALL of your threads! You may get a chuckle out of this....I don't know how to start a new thread so I've never done that...I just chime in on what others are saying! Bahaha....so I have admired you for getting some thought-provoking conversations going! I'm so proud of your progress...the more AF time you get under your belt, the better EVERYTHING will be.
PF, 20 days...look at you!! I'm so happy for you!
Stumpy, get right back up and get yourself armed. What happened?
Hugs to everyone today. You do NOT have to have AL to get thru this day. Byrdie

[stumpy]

Newbies Nest

Hi Byrdlady, I just had a major bad day on Saturday.I sliped up and had 2 glasses of wine while out and I bought a bottle so I could have one more at home. What I find interesting is that when I did get home, I poured that ONE glass and before I took a sip I pour the rest of the bottle down the sink. I feel pretty good about that, I didn't get drunk but I sliped. Today would have been day 11 but I'm calling day 10. It makes it easier for me to continue and in my mind I have been sober for 10 days. I'm armed now. That sunday I met with My doctor, thank god he works on Sundays. I'm going to be fine. I just have to stay away from the MIL.

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Hi Lav -

Whoop Whoop - Day 21~!

Yes - it's a new habit and I LIKE it!

I feel good today - strong - clean - didn't sleep much last night - was keyed up for some reason and even the hypnos and melatonin weren't working...but here we are...

Stumpy - hugs. You are doing great - just get back up on the horse...

Hey Byrdie, Lav and LolaB - thanks for being such a great cheering squad for everyone...

Hi to Free, Kuya, Allan, and everybody else...I've got Monday fuzzy brain and need to get back to work but wanted to say HI!