Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Sitting here waiting for some sunshine in my neighborhood
But the coffee is good!

Lola, the arrival of my first grandchild is what made me finally give up the wine forever!
I just didn't want to miss a minute with him. I didn't drink when my kids were little, my problem developed in mid-life. Oh I am a grateful granny :H

Fantastic & Next, hope you both are ready to jump on the wagon with us as well

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Saturday!
Lav

[KisstheBull]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning all,
I too have been kind of hanging out in the background here for well over a year, never taking the jump to completely stop with drinking. Finally I just decided it was time to " just do it! ". I did well from Sunday Sept 2nd until the 8th then we went camping with friends and I indulged fri,sat and sun. So now I am making a real effort as of last Monday. Last night was the test tho. We went to my daughter's school family picnic (AF ofcourse), no problem there. When I got home tho I so wanted a beer. So instead I had a chocolate chip cookie and a glass of milk....my daughter looks at me with the milk and says " Wow Mommy, you're drinking MILK.! I never see you drink milk! And a cookie too, wow I like that!" How sad is that when my 9 year old is surprised with my new choices. I hope I can continue with this so she of all people will be pround of me!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Fantastic,Next and Kiss! Welcome!
First...I could use a fantastic haircut...I'm so bummed at my last one I could cry, but it will grow!
Kiss, it is frightening when not drinking becomes the oddity...I look back when I got out of college and was married the first time...it didn't even occur to me to drink!!! What I'd give to go back to that, but alas....today, not drinking is the new normal...sometimes I'll look up at the clock and it'll be 7:30 or 8....I wouldn't even remember phone calls or shows we watched...I'd be trying to stop for the night so I wouldn't pass out and my husband say something...trying to act normal when I was out of my head....yeah, that's living. I am so glad to look at the clock now and feel normal not drinking. It has taken me a while to get here, but it is so worth it. I still have bad days from time to time, but nothing compared to the hell hole I was in....THIS I can overcome....THAT was killing me.

Stay strong today Nesters!!! If I can do it, you can too! Byrdie

[akaMonique]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone ~

Just wanted to check in and say hello. Hope newcomers are finding tools and inspiration to do whatever it is you need to do. And to all the other nesters, with just over four months AF, I'm feeling good, dare I say almost balanced and happy? Sleeping well, not feeling terribly anxious, no crazy mood swings, and there are those days that I don't think about alcohol at all, other than to be glad that I'm not thinking about it. Though there is the occasional day or time when a glass of wine sounds so appealing. But knowing it would be more like 5-8 glasses, it's just not an option. As someone said recently, I don't want to go through the incredible effort it took to stop, detox and claw my way through those first 30 days. Also my mind isn't so befuddled, I'm getting creative ideas out of nowhere and actually acting on them.

I haven't been reading/posting because I've gone off-the-grid; not using my laptop for the most part during the week/weekends. I get enough of that 50+ hours during the week. Plus, it forces me to do other things. Reading a lot. And pulled out some jewelry-making supplies that I haven't used in 20 years. I can get lost in that.

Next health/well-being challenge for me is to quit smoking, which I've been tapering off for the past month, then switched to American Spirit and really noticed the decrease in the urge to smoke. So today is my first day NF. Next up, the exercise and better-eating plan. Then I won't need to make any resolutions in January. (ha)

Wishing everyone a pleasant weekend. Be kind to yourself and your future self.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

Nothing wrong with milk & cookies Kiss! Glad you are getting serious.......stick around

Greetings fellow nest mum Byrdie!

Monique, congrats on your AF time ~ terrific!
Are you using any nicotine replacement? I swear that made the all the difference for me!!!! In the past I would go through the horror of quitting smoking only to find myself restarting weeks or months later, ugh. Wishing you the best!

I hope everyone has a safe & cozy night in the nest!
Lav

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

I passed another huge test!! Walked into town with my family and had a wonderful dinner in town....husband had 2 beers, but I was ok with not ordering my own. To reward myself, I nibbled on my boys' desserts...YUM
Now I am STUFFED but not drunk....I will admit, it was quite tempting to have a glass of wine when we first arrived, but I knew that it would just make me want to drink more and more and more and then I would hate myself. And, I must admit, when I was drinking and we would go out to dinner, I spent the whole time obsessing about the wine...telling myself, don't drink too fast but being completely absorbed in the drinking instead of talking with my family....by the third glass of wine, i would be checked out, wanting to get home so I could drink more ...what is the point of that?????
It is hard, but worthwhile things in life never come easy...the harder something is to do, the better the pay off!!!
So, day 34 done....on to day 35

[patrice]

Newbies Nest

Great Jenni! It's great to pass those tests with flying colours!!

Patrice

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Hi Jen, patrice ...... So nice to see the both of you being and sounding so positive.

I am sober and happily so but a little sad today cos I am lonely ...... Feeling totally disconnected and isolated.

Think I might take a back seat on MWO for now and get out and about more and whilst being here has been amazing I am not feeling any real connection to people and that is heightening my feelings of isolation. I have always been a bit of a lone wolf so that is OK and I know I still have this place to come to if needed.

Anyway keep trucking. :l:l

KY

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Am getting tired out...long day...did a pub tonight with a long time drinking buddy and our kids (family pub) and I wanted wine with my dinner so bad I could taste it. Wanted it. Wanted it bad.

Tonight - I'd have broken. I didn't. I couldn't. Tonight the AB saved my bacon. Tomorrow I'll be glad for it. Tonight when I got home I was glad for it. In the moment - I WANTED WINE.

And the AB saved my quit. And my drinking buddy - who has a history of being not super far behind me on drinking - quit at one. Looked at me astonished and quit at one.

I gave her two of my herbal chill pill complexes - told her since I stopped drinking - they help instead. That's true. They do. That's not why I made it tonight. But they do. She messaged me that she was taking them before bed and would let me know tomorrow if they helped - she doesn't sleep well.

Who knows...

But as I poke a fork in Day 25 - I am so grateful for the AB. Which kept me AF tonight. And kept my quit.

[patrice]

Newbies Nest

Hey PF - Great and what a fantastic strategy that AB is for you, it's damn well working a treat!!

whatever works is the key
..... I'm also tucking into lots of formula's and supplements, some are for Calm, some for Focus, ( all amino acids + herbs, the L Glut of course + the normal Vitamins/Minerals that I've been taking for years.. Man alive!!.. it's turning into a full time job taking all these things. For me, I feel that they are working but even if its just a placebo effect, I don't care because I'm still not drinking and not thinking about drinking.. all good. I have had a couple of thoughts today.. it's Sunday and wine was always around in the past and Sundays are never my favourite day of the week,

Hiya everyone here,
hope it's a great day/night where y'all are

Patrice

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Good morning all!

It’s amazing to read about your individual battles and victories. Keep up the good fight.

Kuya, don’t leave MWO. I for one enjoyed having you around. Reading your posts and knowing that you quit the same time as I, helps me stay strong and motivated.

Monique, the first days are pretty rough. Just follow the same routine as you did with quitting AL. Keep your tummy full, stay hydrated. I have also learned one very good trick that helped me out a lot in my first week. Whenever I had a craving for tobacco I would pause for about 30 seconds, take a few deep, slow breaths and miraculously I would instantly feel like I just smoked. And repeat every time I had an urge to smoke. Also you have a few fellow quitters here K9 and I gave up cigarettes very recently so I am very interested to hear about your progress.

Jenni, well done for staying strong and focused on the goal. Just remember how many times in the past that one little slip put us back right at the start of the race. Thinking ahead to the morning to come after drinking, the hangover, the guilt and anxiety, helps me to stay away from AL. But I am still terrified to visit alcohol infested places so thanks for sharing your experience, I will need to face it one day.

ALLAN

[FreeFly]

Newbies Nest

kuya;1378710 wrote:
I am sober and happily so but a little sad today cos I am lonely ...... Feeling totally disconnected and isolated.

Think I might take a back seat on MWO for now and get out and about more and whilst being here has been amazing I am not feeling any real connection to people and that is heightening my feelings of isolation. I have always been a bit of a lone wolf so that is OK and I know I still have this place to come to if needed.

Kuya, please don't go!

This is what you said to me the other day....

Freefly, please don't stop coming here because of a slip. Of course you are disappointed and down, but isn't this the point of this forum. People slip because we are human. You are learning a new skill, it takes time, and sometimes mistakes.

Add up in your mind all the alcohol you DID NOT consume since AF, that is your sobriety bar tab.

I think a lot of people get disheartened because they thought they were GOING BACK to their old self before problems with alcohol, but it is not like that. You can never be that old person again, you are someone else now,whether you like it or not. The recovered you is someone completely new, if you were to return to the old you then you would drink again! Capiche?

As some here know I love analogies so I imagine this like learning a totally new skill like, say,ice skating. You wouldn't expect to get on the ice first time and be winning an Olympic gold next year. Some people starting with you are better at it than you, but most will slip and fall at some point. Others may not fall but will have to grab on to someone tight to stop themselves falling.

And us novices will watch the skilled skaters and envy them their skill and want to be them. But remember Freefly, they have put in years of hard work and practice and they too had many a fall at the beginning

The kind and giving ones like K9, Lav and many others give their time to keep coming to the rink and helping and teaching, supporting and picking us newbies up off our arses.

Leaving now means you are trying to practice alone. Hey that might work out but you run the risk of getting frustrated and feeling very lonely. If you could have done this alone then surely you would not have been here in the first place.

And lastly Freefly, if you stop coming, there will be one less person to pick ME up if I slip on my arse. I and others NEED to see you get back up cos it gives us all hope.

KY. :l:l:l

I was so touched by this post and your words helped me so much. I'm sorry I didn't respond straight away - felt like crap to be honest. I particularly liked the bit about being a different person and you are so right . That made a lot of sense to me and helped me stop beating myself up (what a gift, thank you!). So you see, you can't go either. If you stop coming, there will be one less person to pick me up too if I slip on my arse again. And you're making a difference to people's lives :l

I mirror you on the lone wolf front too and when I first found MWO I experienced the same feelings. Just took a bit of time, that's all. Please stay :l:l

[FreeFly]

Newbies Nest

ps. KY - if I don't see your butt back here soon I'm gonna grass you up on the other thread! Oh and watch out for that Prairie, she'll track you down and haul your sorry arse back here and it won't be pretty :H

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

I love waking up clear headed on a cool, almost crisp Fall-like morning
Hope everyone had a comfy nigh in the Nest!

Kuya, feeling alone or lonely or this journey is pretty typical I think. I sure felt that way myself but it's not a bad thing really. That is the primary reason I stayed connected to MWO. The friendship & support I received here help me over that hump. Hope you decide to stick around

Good job jennie, PF staying AF on your adventures out into the real world! You are both building up some strong AF muscles & that's great!
FreeFly, good to see you as well

Wishing everyone a great AF Sunday! Don't know what I am doing yet today but I'm sure I will figure it out soon.

Lav

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Definitely crisp here lav! Brrrrrr!

Doing great Jennie, prairie, (sorry for leaving some out- on phone)

Just wanted to say a quick good morning and I'll be back in a bit.

The teenager has me runn