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    Newbies Nest

    Evening nest, great to hear your stories. Enjoying looking round the forum and the tools thread is very uplifting with suggestions, plans and links to other great sites.

    Day 2... which has been harder. Perhaps because having done one day free, I'm thinking, "well done - have a drink!" I don't know how physiological the desire for a drink is, or how much it is psychological?? I used to smoke (good going K9, by the way!) until I gave up 4 years ago, but with smoking i physically felt my body desiring it's next nicotine hit - certainly more so than with a drink. I think.

    What i experienced giving up smoking, was, as some have pointed out, how my sense of smell and taste improved, as well as feeling i'd cleaned up my lungs - yes, no morning hacking cough. But also, when i had the occasional smoke a year or so after i gave up (ok, i admit i had a short relapse about 18 months after giving up), was how even having only one cigarette of an evening, i would feel how it would affect my body for up to two days after - especially a rancid, residual metallic taste in my mouth.

    And so i am genuinely interested in how i feel after abstaining from AL for a while - physically and psychologically...

    But I feel good that i averted giving up the evening to AL, when returning home from work find a leak dripping water from my bedroom ceiling onto one half of my bed. That's the sort of event that would provide the excuse to head out for a bottle of red. The plumbers called for tomorrow am. I'll sleep on the far side of the bed tonight.

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      Newbies Nest

      RunningC...Day 2 is hard. It's difficult to resist the reward centers of the brain...I went one day without drinking, now here's my reward!! Day 3 is better. By this time tomorrow all the AL will be out of your body and you will be operating under full RC power! I am so happy for you! You are doing great...keep your tummy full and your mind occupied! Well done! B
      All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
      Tool Box
      Newbie's Nest

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        Newbies Nest

        Allan, I have 25-30 chickens I could put to work creating some electricity for me :H
        I love having the generator for times like this BUT I do end up paying dearly. It runs on the propane in a 1,000 gal tank buried in the front yard which is also used for heat, hot water & cooking
        The problem is I can't stand living too without water or flushing toilets........eeeewwww!
        AF since 03/26/09
        NF since 05/19/09
        Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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          Newbies Nest

          Byrdlady and K9lover - how do I get like yall? I was good, then Labor Day weekend thru me for a loop and I lost track. Want so much to be sober, but dont know how.

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            Newbies Nest

            Hey RunningC - well done!

            I too made it through day 2 without a bottle of wine (woohooooo).

            I had a bottle of my favourite Pinot in the fridge and so yesterday morning I TIPPED IT DOWN THE SINK!!! I knew if I didnt then after one night of "being good" I would "reward" my self with the bottle and so I did what I have never done before - made it impossible by getting rid.

            I am now on day three (like you) and I feel a bit sad actually. Sad that my life has come to this. Celebrating that I have gone two days without a drink. I am DETERMINED this time.

            I have always been a bit of a food nazi, joking that I chose to drink my calories as I like to be a slim, in shape woman. I go to the gym and like you, was training for a marathon. I just dont seem to have had the same willpower in the past with my booze. I can resist food no problem but open a bottle of wine ......

            Then out of nowhere last year I was diagnosed with MS and for anyone living with a chronic illness will know, it is a a very crap place to be. Most of my symptoms are sensory and the wine numbs them and makes me forget for a while.

            The last 2 days my tingles, zingers, zaps, numbness etc all associated with my illness are massive but you know what? This is a life long illness and I have to find a way to cope, I cant keep drowning my sorrows.

            It doesnt help that I have a lot of stress at home. I am in a loving relationship with a wonderful man but his daughter is awful. She is 13 and makes my life hell. I drink to deal with my feelings of sadness and loneliness but in the end I am only hurting myself. I have to take control of my life back.

            Yesterday when I got the craving for a drink, because of the reading I have done here, I literally said to myself (not out loud, not a complete nutter haha) "I know what you are doing brain, I will not give in to you so piss off". You know what? It sort of helped.

            I havent told my family and they are looking at me like I have five eyeballs when I say that I am happy with my water. I just told my partner that I "forgot" to buy wine. He isnt a big drinker at all but he always tells me I worry too much and that I dont drink as much as I think I do. I think a whole bottle (someones 3/4) every day is WAY too much.

            Sorry this is so long, I just wanted to share.

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              Newbies Nest

              Hi I'm a newbie :-)

              Hi guys - I posted on here for the first time yesterday - it was day 2 and I was really struggling. Well I made it through, and now it's day 3, and it's not good !! I'm not a day drinker - but I woke up thinking "2 days AF - I can have a drink tonight" and I'm scared!! I just despair sometimes - wonder why I can't be normal and just be a social drinker, instead of a chuck it down as fast as possible and get drunk equally quickly kind of person. Really need some advice - I'm thinking of the waves and hangovers - HELP ???!!! xxxx:new:
              Trying again from 22nd September 2014 Keeping it simple. Keeping it real.

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                Newbies Nest

                Hey Quest - I am on day three too Well done !!!

                I have the same fears and thoughts as you BUT I cant, I just CANT keep waking up thinking "no more" only to stay on the same bloody cycle. Nothing worth having in life is ever going to be easy. This isnt going to be easy. Feel free to private message me if you want - we can do this together.

                I dont have the answers because I am right there with you. Same fears, questions, sadness, what ifs .....

                Be kind to yourself ... you have already done great.

                xxx

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                  Newbies Nest

                  Hey Quest, :welcome:

                  Day 3 for me too... I'm totally the same, and living with that darn voice that keeps saying "only one, you deserve it" or "you don't have a problem, just a lack of self control, so have a drink" etc etc.

                  But you CAN do it. I find it easier not to think about it long term, as in 'oh my god, am i never gonna drink again, how can i do that?!' but instead to just think about now, today. Somebody recently posted a good thought process about what satisfying yourself with a drink right now would do to you in an hour, a few hours, tomorrow morning. Personally, not waking up with the guilt of having gotten boozy and feeling rough with it, is worth the pretty pointless drinking-for-the-sake-of-drinking the night before.

                  MissTipsy - Well done to you too!

                  Ever wonder why people sometimes support our vices rather than our virtues? It's the end of the working day and many a colleague will say "have a drink - you deserve it." Or, when i was deliberating whether to run yesterday evening, someone said, "och, no, you should really have a day off" (I DO have days off!)... Yet rarely we hear folks say "you should go for a run/jog/swim/walk, it'll be good for you", or if knowing we're abstaining from AL "go get some good nosh in you, instead of that pint or 8"... ?? Just an early morning thought...

                  Have a lovely day everyone.

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                    Newbies Nest

                    Thanks RC

                    I think a lot of people DONT celebrate the "not drinking" because more people than we realise feel the same and maybe that taps into their own feelings of guilt or whatever?

                    I cancelled my pilates on Monday because I felt so rough - first time EVER. It sucked. It sucked a LOT MORE than not being able to drink.

                    As far as long term - I am already thinking "oh crap - no wine at christmas???!!" lol

                    I guess it is one baby step at a time.

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                      Newbies Nest

                      Day 3 and Beyond

                      Miss Tipsy - I'm thinking exactly that about Christmas !! WTF ??? Is that what it's come down to ? Every event is an excuse to get ratted !! (Well, with me anyway !) I've lost the last 10 years of my life to this addiction - so many memories I can't remember :-( So many mistakes............

                      Right - pity party can't continue !!! I've passed a d&a test this morning - I should be proud !!! In fact I joked to the tester that my wee looked like a bad wine - cloudy !! If I had to drink a bottle of wee would I ???? Errrrrmmm.......NO !!!!!!!!..............(well, if there was a substantial amount of money involved lol - only kidding !!!)

                      So glad you guys are here :thanks:
                      Trying again from 22nd September 2014 Keeping it simple. Keeping it real.

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                        Newbies Nest

                        Good morning Nesters!

                        Congrats to all of you tackling day 3 today - you can do this
                        Focuse on today, use the tools in the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html & please don't worry about the future. Holidays, birthdays, etc all go just fine without AL

                        Keep your thoughts in gratitude mode & not deprivation - really helps!

                        Wishing everyone a great AF Wednesday!
                        Lav
                        AF since 03/26/09
                        NF since 05/19/09
                        Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                          Newbies Nest

                          Thankyou xx

                          Thanks Lav for your kind words of encouragement and support xxx:thanks:
                          Trying again from 22nd September 2014 Keeping it simple. Keeping it real.

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                            Newbies Nest

                            Sheesh, lav, Now I have visions of a little sweat shop-like chicken coop with all your chickens running around working and clucking like crazy!!!

                            Doingitforme, it takes work, that?s for sure ? have you looked at the toolbox yet? Click on the link at the bottom of my post?there are so many wonderful ideas there to get you started?

                            WOW, misstipsy, questforthekey, and runningcourage ALL on the same day ? that?s great! Keep thinking along the same lines that you are. You can keep running on the damn hamster wheel for the rest of your life - always telling yourself that you?ll start anther day?while- like you said ? life is passing you by ? while you recover from one day/night of drinking ? by starting in on another. The events that make up your life become blurry memories?and it just becomes ?easier? to keep drinking and tune out those guilty feelings that you are wasting so much of your life.

                            You are all just ending the most difficult part. Where you have physical stuff mixed in with the emotional/mental. Now the head games begin. It?s time to make a really SOLID plan ? decide what you are going to do when those random thoughts come out of nowhere that make you think you need a drink ?right now??.whether it?s the sun on your face and a relaxing weekend? Or the stress of someone really pissing you off ?.be ready for those thoughts and know how you are going to handle them without drinking. Oh, and be prepared to stay home from social events if they are going to be too tempting for you?at least for a little while.

                            Figure out what you will be drinking instead of alcohol .

                            Sometimes I completely change direction and push the thought out of my head. If it persists, I take the time to think it ALL the way through. It sounds appealing right then, but in an hour, I am going to have that fuzzy headed feeling, I won?t be able to give my family the attention that I want to, as I?ll be well on my way, and I?ll be wanting more and more ? figuring out how to act like I am not drunk or tipsy while the family enjoys a nice evening. Then I?ll find my way to bed ? wake up halfway through the night in a panic ? not be able to get back to sleep ? and if I happened to take my glass to bed with me, I might wake up and drink the rest to calm myself down and go back to sleep. Then in the morning, I?ll either be completely hungover or still drunk ? have to do the Mom thing and pretend I?m fine?.ugh. you get the picture. By the time I?ve thought this through, it usually doesn?t seem so appealing anymore.

                            I quit about this time last year and I was worried about the holidays. It really wasn?t as hard as I thought it would be. In fact, as Lav suggests ? adopt an attitude of gratitude and instead of thinking that you will be missing out by not drinking at Christmas, think about how fantastic it will be to wake up Christmas morning without a hangover, and also to not forget to put something important on the table at dinner, because you?re drunk, and most importantly ? to actually remember the day?the season.

                            And don?t worry about apologizing for long posts?.:-)

                            I am going to try to find a couple of important posts regarding the upcoming holidays...

                            We've all been where you are - and know the feelings that you are having...honest.:l
                            ~

                            Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.

                            Sobriety date: Sept 26, 2011

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                              Newbies Nest

                              This one is about Christmas....this is one AMAZING post. https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...way-53891.html
                              ~

                              Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.

                              Sobriety date: Sept 26, 2011

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                                Newbies Nest

                                Finally found Byrdie's Thanksgiving/Rabbit Hole post.

                                Belle...when you hear me refering to going down the rabbit hole...I am talking about the thoughts that make you want to drink. One thought leads to another, until finally, thoughts are actions and you are sucked in. I noticed it when you mentioned that your 30 days would be up the day before Thanksgiving...and that a glass of wine with the meal would be grand. This will get you in the hole in a hurry....Take the wine off the table (figuratively and literally) and you will be glad you did. It puts you in a state of turmoil.

                                You want Peace, right? Let us go down the rabbit hole together...shall we? There's the family....all gathered, giving thanks. That one glass of wine in front of you. What are you thankful for? blah, blah, blah.....and it goes around.

                                Before you know it the solitary glass of wine is gone. Someone pours you another....(oh you shouldn't, but it IS Thanksgiving, after all). If you are able to stop at 2 you are a better person than I am. I would dare to say that even if you didn't have any more....the next day you'd feel the GSR brothers...(Guilt/Shame/Remorse). And alas...this is FRIDAY....the best drinking day of the week! And a day off from work...I bet you go to the store and get some of your old favorites...

                                Then it's the weekend...and then you've blown it totally and why not drink... everyone else is??? The whole holiday thing sucks...all this wine around, why shouldn't I be able to drink like everyone else?

                                The next thing you know, the holidays have come and gone...and you don't even know where they went. (the line that spoke to me...)

                                You find yourself feeling anxious, alone and depressed....because here you are right back where you started....Day Freakin 1. If you are me, it's was this point I didn't care if I lived or died...everything I had worked for had gone to hell in a basket.

                                BUT, let us back up for a second, and relive this whole thing of my rabbit hole theory. Your 30 day anniversary is celebrated by your friends in the nest! And day 31 is Thanksgiving. You wake up with a clear head and are able to enjoy your food and the people. You are sober now, you don't drink. You don't so much RESIST the drink as you do REFUSE IT...you actually remember the day (what people said) and you are FREE of the demon that wants so badly to live in you. The next day you feel like you've won a victory!! YOU HAVE DONE IT! You've gotten thru your first Turkey Day without AL! On to day 32, and girl I'll tell you, no drink tastes better than being sober feels.

                                By Christmas, instead of being a blurry mess, you will be in control!! No guilt! No Shame! No Remorse! You will never regret being sober. You know how the story ends...make it happen!!! When you feel your thoughts going there....tell yourself NO! HELL NO! And recite the Pledge of Allegience, or name the 7 Dwarfs or Dwarves....google whether it's Dwarfs or Dwarves.....do anything you have to do to get that thought out of your head. Don't go down the rabbit hole. I've been there and trust me, there's no good to be had down there. Keep your quit no matter what or no matter who!!! I'll be perched up on your shoulder and I will knock you up side the head if you think of having a glass of wine!!! Deal??? Love you all!! Byrdie
                                ~

                                Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.

                                Sobriety date: Sept 26, 2011

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