Newbies Nest

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

K9

K9, good job on the cigs. I'm not a smoker, but I have been around people most of my life who do smoke, and I know it has always been a struggle for them to quit and plenty of them have never succeeded. A couple now have COPD and wish they had.

No worries on the other thread. I wandered in because of the thread title. I had no idea there was a feud. I was hoping for peace between comrades for the sake of all including new and old.

Enjoy your smoke free lungs and life. You'll love not having everything smell like cigs.

[Quest for the key]

Newbies Nest

Failed to Plan

Well I didn't make it 3 days in a row.

I had an almighty mental battle all day yesterday - after passing a random drugs and alcohol test at wrok - what are the chances ?

Well, I battled and raged. Even had tea at mums. Then came home to a shit tip of a house and demonic kids all sat round with hubby watching YBF !! Cue meltdown.

Now I've psycho analysed this and determined that yes I'm a psycho !! Only kidding........

I should have ranted and raved and got it all out, instead of reaching for the bottle. I even lurked on here but was too ashamed to post with vodka in hand.

What I've come up with (rightly or wrongly) is that I need to plan. I knew what was happening as soon as it started. I poured the first drink shouting in my head "Don't do it !! Stop !! What are you doing ??" I put the glass to my lips and thought "Don't do it !!" But I caved. Why ? I Let the demons win. I need a plan. Maybe I should have just walked back out the door and gone for a drive. Dunno............

I even thought about lying to a very good friend (Miss Tipsy - That's you xx) and saying "3 days AF" but NO !!!!!!!!!!!! I need to be honest, open and accountable.

I know I'm going to have failed battles along the way - but I WILL win the war !!!

Sorry to rant

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

First of all - Quest -

I'm thinking it's less a fail to plan - but a failure to be "ready" - and that's different. Most of us quit several times before we quit quit. So figure out what triggered this, what you weren't READY for, what swamped you - and how you need to be prepared to cope differently.

Also - do you have all the supplements in place? A lot of people start their first quit without them. You really will be more successful urge surfing if you have them - and use them. I might have succeeded without them but there is no reason to make this harder than it needs to be...

I'm running to get the kids off - or I'd write more - I just didn't want your note to go unrecognized - hopefully someone will duck on and write something more cogent and thought out...

HUGS to you this morning. You can do this. I promise.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Yep Quest ~ it's all about the plan!
Life's shit will never stop but you can find a new way to deal with it, lots of us have
Go back to the Tool box, take the time to actually write out your plan. Getting all of the AL out of the house helps, vowing to buy no more is a must. You can do this

Wishing everyone a great AF Thursday!

Lav

[Quest for the key]

Newbies Nest

Thanks PF and Lav xxx

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

It's true, Quest - I "thought" I had a plan. I "succeeded" with that "plan" for awhile - but then once I really really sat down and thought it through - and realized that moments like yours yesterday are bound to come up - and figure out in advance, how I'd deal with them, I realized that I hadn't really had a plan before.

We can talk til we're blue in the face - tell you all the things to watch out for- but until you see for yourself - how easily we can let ourselves be talked back into it, you won't really "get" the whole "plan" idea, IMO.

A couple weeks into my first quit, I poured some vodka for myself - smelled it, and dumped it down the drain. I was so pleased with myself for doing that - although also pretty scared that I had come so close...but I controlled it! Hallelujah!!!! Ummm...no.

For me - I soon realized that there has to be no vodka in the house. And STILL I found myself driving to the store for some. But I'll tell you even today - there are moments where if it was here? I don't know for sure if I'd be able to stop myself from having a swig and starting the whole mess over again. I'm lucky in the fact that over the course of several months, my husband and I engaged in several conversations about setting a good example for our teenager - and letting him see that adults can have fun without alcohol....so he got rid of the vodka that I was probably not so good at sneaking....

Another thing is, in the beginning, I saw myself almost seeking out situations that agitated me...and allowing myself to get riled up about things - so I'd have an excuse to drink. Old habits are hard to break.

You've got your book and supps on the way, right? Give it another go - and another if needed....just don't give up. We all had false starts and each one is a learning experience.

~lola

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Oh, forgot - you might want to look into a calming supp for now. There is Hyland's nerve tonic, or calms forte, or I have one called Nutri-calm. I learned awhile into this, that my own agitation, excitement, nervousness - are HUGE triggers to drink. so I try to take the edge off before it gets too bad. I just take as needed, which gets to be less and less. :-)

[MissTipsy]

Newbies Nest

Quest - We are all in this together, the good, the bad and the ugly. If this was going to be easy then none of us would need this place.

I came very close last night too. My partner was being a dick and I thought "Oh f**k it (sorry) I am going down the garage for a bottle of pinot". It is hard to resist when outer forces seem to conspire against you. It took everything in me to not do that. If it had been in the house, it would have been in a glass!!

The best part is that you came back here and are keeping at it. I bet a lot of people have a "blip" and then think theyve screwed up and just give up. You havent given up - be proud. You are human lovely and you are stronger than you think!!

((hug))
xx

[Quest for the key]

Newbies Nest

Miss T - massive hugs xxx

Lolab - you are right. I was looking for an excuse - I had been all day - I think I'll look into getting some of the herbal calms tablets - I get so agitated - I'm hoping it will take the edge off ?

So glad I found this site and you guys xxx

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Hey Quest, two things strike me, relief from passing the drug test and , my favorite hobby horse ......were you hungry. So often us alkies, particularly the women, obsessed with body image are starving. We drank on empty stomachs so as not to kill the buzz. And even when sober don't eat often enough or enough good food.

Interested to know if this rings for you

KY, the nosy

[patrice]

Newbies Nest

Hiya all,

I'm still in the nest, haven't had much time to post.. feel absolutely shattered at the moment with a low grade headache for no reason... Still Af and feeling just great about that!!
Take care all and lots of kudo's for keeping on this road

Patrice

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Hi Pat , how youooooo doin? I'm out of hiding tonight

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

quest, they definitely help me....and kuya - good point.

Hi patrice. (I'm whispering)...You're doing great. How many days do you have? I was plagued with headaches on and off for weeks after quitting. I did reach a point though where they became MUCH less frequent than they have been in a very long time. Now I get sinus/weather changing headaches once in awhile. And an occasional hormonal migraine - but not like the daily ones from drinking - or the frequent ones of being newly AF....:l

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

I had a headache on week 3 or 4 that lasted the entire week......and I never get headaches

[patrice]

Newbies Nest

Well girls as you ask I'm going into day 30 tomorrow.. yes, those headaches are horrid. I'm taking those amino acids.. might have overdone it on the taurine??