Newbies Nest

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

I am so glad I woke up this morning and came onto MWO's newbie nest!!!!! I woke up feeling the same as I did last night. But, then I read posts....I am tearing up about it. Lolab, Kradle and Kuya.....THANK YOU for putting stuff back into perspective. It is like a page has turned in my head....that is how it feels to almost instantly change your mood based on what you fine people posted. What a gift!!! Did I say THANK YOU???
I am also thinking a lot about counting days. People, including myself, count days in the hopes of reaching a goal of, say, 30 days or 90 days or 100 days, etc. I have decided that after 90 days I am no longer going to count. I consider these 90 days as being in intensive care with an illness. Once 90 days are up, I will graduate from intensive care to the regular ward.....I will stay there for a year. After that, I will be in the recovery ward forever. If I keep counting days, I fear I might trick myself into "celebrating" at certain milestones. What is the point of counting once I am out of intensive care? I will never drink again so I don't see the point.

Anyway, another day in the ICU for me. :l

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

Kuya: so glad you came back!!

Miss Tipsy and Quest: Don't beat yourself up too hard. This is a journey. I can't tell you how many times I was here, then drank. Like Kuya, I fought with myself thousands of times over quitting. So, don't give up and keep coming back no matter what!! YOU ARE WORTH IT. And have fun in Kuya's office......I hear it is quite an adventure

[itsmytime]

Newbies Nest

Jennie,
I am on day 68 and I can honestly tell you when I was at day 40 - 60 I was on a roller coaster of emotions. It's all part of the journey and am so happy I did not succumb to the addictive voice and "try" to moderate again.

Just yesterday I thought out of the blue WOW I am not thinking of drinking anymore LOL I am excited to be making plans and am not feeling deprived at all.

Keep thinking positive thoughts and always remind yourself why you are here, not that you are giving up. It is an adjustment for sure and each social event we attend AF makes it that much easier next time.

We are ridding ourselves of a poison.

IMT

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Changing our thinking about AL really is the hardest part of the job!
When you start thinking of AL as the poison it really is & not your go to friend......things change. Removing the option of drinking AL as a choice just takes the pressure off

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Friday!
Lav

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Darting in to check ing - and say good morning - lot's happened overnight and I'm not highly caffeinatated enough to absorb it all. :-)

Day 32 - man I need some sleep...

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Good morning - congratulations to your parents K9 - that's really fantastic. And while you're gone, I'll do a half - arsed job of telling everybody that just because it's the weekend, it doesn't mean you have to drink....shoot...Byrdie, Lav, help me out here...Friday pep talks aren't my specialty - :H Lav, don't you say "Friday is just another day."? Byrdie - "no madda what...." ah...I'll leave it to you all...

jennie - your post is awesome. yep, after awhile the days can get confusing to keep track of - you do what works for you. at some point, I started just keeping track of the date of the month.

Don't forget your plan, guys! And just because you took a backwards step, it doesn't give you a reason to drink away the weekend before you start again....you may end up right back where you started....and keep putting it off. You're always going to be able to find reasons to wait another day...but isn't that what you've been doing already - that didn't work? So if you start today, the hard part will be over with by the end of the weekend.

lola

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

You keep falling over at day 2 or 3. I assume you know from everyone here that the first seven days are the worst, but of course you don't really KNOW how much better you will feel so there is no incentive to stick it out cos your brain is screaming

DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK

You read my previous post of 23 years of failed day ones. Sometimes my work meant I would go 2 nights AF and they were sleepless and I felt exhausted but I couldn't understand why they were actually not too bad. Then I would have day 3, promise myself that if I could do 2 nights working I could do a third, fourth, fifth FOR ME. But I never could because I had convinced myself it was too hard, I needed to sleep yadda yadda yadda.

I eventually made myself so sick and tired that I knew I was gonna die if I kept this half a bottle of vodka a day habit going. So I got my son and his girlfriend to move back in, had a big song and dance about it, set up umpteen safety nets and started the first quit of my life.

I started that first week in absolute terror, convinced that by day 3 or 4 or 5 at the latest I was going to be having DTs, hospitalized or a basket case in some way. Those first 5 days were hard, mostly because I was holding my breath , waiting for all hell to break loose.

Truth is by day 5 I felt fine, tired and a little out of body aching but my days were AWESOME I was sober! The feelings some describe as cravings are, IMHO better described as simply your body shedding alcohol. Your brain knows from years of practice that you can reverse this process and stop the pain by drinking alcohol. Your poor brain, the primitive part doesn't know that it will stop in a few days. Your poor alcohol sodden primitive brain only knows how to stop it NOW..... BY DRINKING MORE ALCOHOL.

This is where you ladies are at, the alcohol leaving is causing you fear, no pain just FEAR. This is your battle, to stick it out cos your intellect brain has the benefit of US people telling you it WILL stop.

But you wanna know what hurts most is when I look at my sons who had to grow up watching me suffer and helpless to stop me.......

I HAD JUST WASTED 23 YEARS OF MY FECKING LIFE FOR FEAR OF ONE WEEK OF DISCOMFORT

So ladies ...get back on your horses and start again,Please

[Quest for the key]

Newbies Nest

Kuya

Ouch !!! I've got one bruised backside - but soooo needed that kicking !!!

I too have sons (4 of them) - OMG I'm gonna cry........................

Gotta go x

[whitemarshmom]

Newbies Nest

Good morning all, I made it with my AF day last night!! It wasnt as big bad and scary as i thought it was going to be. To do the math, i would typically go thru 2 5 Liter Boxes of Wine a week, so thats almost 2 liters a day,, ( a voice inside my head just whiispered, a week is 7 days, so more like 1 1/2 liters as if thats much better) I told the voice to "go to hell".. I always bought a box of White Zinfandel and a box of Chardonnay, because i like to have a couple glasses of one ( water glasses ususally, unless i have company) and them some glasses of the other... Its tantaliizing to the tastebuds to have the liberty of switching whenever i wanted...
Its scary how so many of us Moms have these blackouts in common, not remembering what we did the night before..looking for clues the next morning, panicked about what we did the night before I surely expected to have WD's shakes, sweats something considering how much i drank in the past days
Its really great to feel great today! I remember everything about last night, i kissed my kids and read stories. and snuggled.. My real trying time, was homework, My son has ADD and homework is like a battleground and his little sister loves to sit with us at the breakfast bar and do her own "homework" but distracts my son from his work.. Its frustrating times like that, that are triggers, it starts to get late, and we arent done homework yet, I feel like i was less patient with the kids last night, after NOT having wine...and the constant demands, of Mom, Mom , Mom, I need this, I need this, i need that... Just saying it makes my neck stiff... Today is Friday, and the temptation hasnt reared its ugly head yet.. Hang in there everyone Thank God its Friday!

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie congratulations! 20 months what an achievement, you give us all hope and the desire to do the same. I wish I knew how to insert the smiley face people but I will post a pic instead. This relates to us all! Whether we are giving up AL or trying to achieve anything worthwhile in our lives.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Gosh, Allan, my own graphic!!! Thank you so much!! You are kicking @$$ by the way! You are making it look easy! Well done to you!

Kuya, that was one of the most powerful posts I've ever read...you are dead on with that one and laying it down for real. FEAR is the enemy. I wish I had your way with verbalization.

Today is Slay's Day 30!!! On behalf of the NN, please accept this small token of hard work. My dear...your hat :day5: I'm so proud of you!! You came in, took notes, and headed out on your way. Equally important, you reached out a hand to others...I am SO happy for your accomplishment!!

Dang...gotta run...be back shortly.....got one hat delivered tho!! XXOO, B

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

CONGRATS on 30 AF days slay
Remember this wonderful feeling forever!!!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hey, where is ev'body?? Just me here with the chickens!

There is no shame here in the nest....come back and try some more! If there were shame here I certainly wouldn't be here, cause I had enough to go around. Don't ever give up! It takes time to shake this demon....

Patrice, Dest and Monique, I missed saying hello this morning...you are model nesters.....where is Rooni? Haven't seen her....hope all is well.

Settle in and be safe tonight, the demons will be out. Stay strong and you will be so glad you did. Just THIS one time, don't give in!! Then rinse and repeat. Worry about today....that's all we can do!

Holler out if you need us, we'll be here.....hugs and strength to all...B

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Hey thanks for asking about me Byrdie. Very sweet....

Well, I made it to Day 48 and then decided to test the waters. As you know, I've been taking Antabuse for several weeks now. Well lately, I've not been taking the pill every day. Some days I would take a half pill, and some days I just wouldn't take it at all.

Yesterday, I had not taken a whole pill in five days - only a half pill on Tuesday. I unexpectedly did not have to work yesterday afternoon, and a friend called from the bar. I thought about the Antabuse, but then I thought that just maybe everything would be OK since I had not really taken it in a while.

So after two wines, I started feeling awful. My face and eyes turned red as fire. I felt like my skin was burning off. My hands and feet turned a deep red and swelled up. I looked at myself in the mirror at the bar and had to pay my tab and get out as fast as I could.

Long story short, if you are taking Antabuse, it's NOTHING to play around with. I don't know how many days you should wait before drinking (I've heard five, I've heard two weeks), but if you aren't sure, DON'T DO IT!!

I was sick as a dog. I went to bed at 5:30pm and didn't get up until about 7am this morning.

I LEARNED MY LESSON!

I popped another Antabuse this afternoon, and I don't plan to test the waters any time soon. I just went 47 AF days, and they were WONDERFUL. I enjoyed each and every second of my sober days. I've lost six pounds, my house is clean, I'm in a good relationship with my family, work is going great, etc. I can't tell you how great life is SOBER!

Next goal? 48 days and beyond!

If I was ever curious to know what it's like to drink on Antabuse, now I know, and I can put that curious thought to bed. Been there, done that!

Hello to all the new folks. Take it from me - do whatever you need to do to stop drinking. DON'T LET LIFE PASS YOU BY FOR ONE SECOND LONGER! It is beautiful!

[Rainyday]

Newbies Nest

Whitemarsh! Me Too! Last night first AF! Let's "toast" to another AF night tonight! Let's be MOMS!