Newbies Nest

[Quest for the key]

Newbies Nest

Can I start again please ?

*standing in the shadows with head bowed*

This is beyond a joke now - I need help ��

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Quest - of course you can start again...just be sure to examine your past few days to see what you're doing wrong or not doing right.

When will your supplements and book arrive? Are you possibly waiting for those without realizing it? You can get started without them.

It's pretty typical to wake up each morning and decide you need to stop and then have that feeling fade as the day goes on - you have to be ready for it to fade and for those feelings to sneak back in telling you it's ok to drink today. Is there alcohol in the house? Have you figured out a backup plan of things to do when those feelings strike? Can you hop on here later - to post and to read?

Plans will change over time - but your initial one has to address those immediate things that make you want to drink in the first few days...being stuck in the loop - unable to break out - tired from drinking the day before - alcohol available - habit -

you have to get the available alcohol out - and you have to find ways to break those old habits...there is a thread here about a hundred things to do instead of drinking...(or something like that.) I will look for it.

We're pulling for you. Have faith in yourself - and change your mindset to I WILL do this this time. The help you need will come from within you - and you'll be amazed and proud.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

I didn't find that but here is an EXCELLENT thread on making a plan..https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...lan-41280.html

[Quest for the key]

Newbies Nest

Thanks lolab x

My kudzu has just arrived ! Lovely postman !!!

I haven't got my book yet, but today is the day. Last night was awful - hubby and I both drunk - arguing, abusing each other !!! I've got wine and vodka in the fridge left over - I'm scared to throw them away !!! Is that normal ?

I can't live thislife any more ! In fact it's not living - it's existing !!! Horrible existence !!!

Day 1 of 30 for me - I think I can work on that :-)))

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

it is normal - but let me tell you = you're fighting an uphill battle with those there.

get rid of them - be firm with your husband about your desire to stop- he should be feeling some remorse today also and even if he doesn't admit it, he should understand....but be honest and firm with him. Will he protest if you dump the alcohol?

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Quest for the key;1380141 wrote: I just wanted to agree with what's already been said.

My hubby doesn't know I've found this either - he would not be impressed !! He says I haven't got a problem, just a habit. Same meaning, different name in my opinion.

I'm so grateful for this site and these boards xxxx:thanks:

Hi Quest, I found this post and reading between the lines I think the reason you can't get past day three is kinda clear. Your hubby doesn't want to lose his drinking buddy and if you quit then he will have a mirror to look in.

I know that if those around me had not supported my quit I would have found it very difficult.

As you read in my post yesterday I repeatedly fell at day 3 and personally found days 3-5 hard.

How supportive do you think your SO will be?

KY

[whitemarshmom]

Newbies Nest

Insanity- doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.. I had 1 AF day, and then last night, i did the same thing over again, and this morning I wake up and look for clues of events from last night. Im really tired of this feeling! I didnt even really want to drink. Im going to throw it all away ( if theres any left) i didnt check yet and start over!! I dont want to feel like this anymore!!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

I totally understand not wanting to throw out all of the AL in your house. I said it was my safety net....after all, you never know. Well, may I say from bitter experience that when you allow yourself a safety net, you are allowing yourself to fall... Said another way, you are planning to fail. I thought about this the other morning as I woke up, in my heavy days of drinking there at the end...I never drank ALL I had. If I had ever used up my entire supply that would have been very agitating to me...I drank all I could hold, but I never ran out. I always had a safety net. When I got serious about quitting...it had to go. This is a statement to yourself that you have had enough. We are not Mother Theresa...we will yield to temptation. Set yourself up for success, not failure. Surrond yourself with things you love to eat and do. When you get a MindCircle stand up and break that thought loop. Go look out the window or pet the dog...just get yourself out of that thinking that you must give in....because THIS time, you are not!! This is hard and it is serious, every ONE of us know how hard it is...and we all reached out for help, too. We are here...and we believe in you!! This is YOUR day to win!! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good afternoon Nesters,
Just getting around to say hello

For those of you just starting/restarting - plan for success!!!
Get rid of all the AL in your house, vow to buy no more!
Get all the foods & AF drinks you like in place.
Rent a movie, buy a book, call a friend, go to a place that caters to chiledren ie no AL!
When you are tempted in the future to pick up a drink - use HALT to address your urges......
Are you Hungry?
Are you Angry?
Are you Lonely?
Are you Tired?
I have never had a drinking thougt, urge, craving ~ whatever that couldn't be addressed without AL!

Wishing everyone an AF Saturday!
Lav

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Lav, I love your checklist. Thats what I use and call them degrees of seperations. The more time passes between the initial thought and the time you are infront of an alcoholic bevarage the more likely you are to stay sober.

AK

[Quest for the key]

Newbies Nest

Lav - love the HALT idea.

I know I drink instead of eating !!! Bad I know !!! Well I'm currently sat eating all sorts of crap but no al in sight !!! Yay !!!

Hugs to you all xxxx

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Quest, good job, the calories saved by not drinking can go towards sweets and other high fat goodies... I cant even describe the importance of being full to avoid AL cravings. Everytime I feel hungry or dehydrated I get cravings like on que.

AK

[Quest for the key]

Newbies Nest

Allan - I know lol but I feel like a right bloater !!!

But I'd forgotten how nice chocolate actually is ...... And crisps ....... And I've cream ....... Oops !!!

All washed down with a pint ...... Of water !!!!

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Hey all....just returned home from a family party...all kinds of alcohol available. I took my little cooler, with cans of selzer, and a little "coolie" thing to put the can in. Nobody paid a bit of attention - and the host had even tried to get the kind of selzer that I always drink, but couldn't find it. AND I didn't feel out of place or anti-social. Progress is being made!!! :-)

It took awhile to get to this point, and it took planning on my part - to not be "hungry" and to have something to drink - have it in my hand before anyone offers me a drink - and lots of time to get myself adjusted to not even questioning whether I want it or not. And even with these things in place, I still had a really hard time feeling like I fit in at events like this - and often missed my "crutch". I don't really socialize all that much, so it's not like I have alot of practice - but I'm getting there! :H

Good job quest!

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Hey all -

The AB is forcing me to excercise my anti-AL muscles - I had to go to the little grocery by my house earlier and they have the best wine selection - ran that place like the devil himself was after me - because he was..I can't have any but that place had me in a sweat...not having any doesn't mean it can't mess with my brain...

So I'm home - wishing I was snuggled up with a glass - which is dumb - because I know where I would be if I did - so I took the L-Glut and Kudz - will make some hot tea in a few minutes when it kicks in...

I am trying to move my thinking to gratitude thinking from deprivation thinking...in the moment...I'm fully aware that's my issue...so I'm just going to self talk my way through it...

Here goes nothing...