Newbies Nest

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

oh crap. and I'm not even on my phone! I was going to put a smiley and instead I guess I posted. :H

But let's see... where was I? yes - I didn't imagine how I could spend even one day/night without drinking - let alone a whole week or a whole month...or a whole year. But your mindset really does change over time. Even after you tackle 30 days, you still wonder how you will handle social outings...at least I did. And I still do, sometimes. But it hit me last night that if my mind really changed that much so that days at home without even thinking about drinking have become the NORM - then over time, it will happen with social events, too. I know it's different because I'm not surrounded by alcohol at home, and I am at most events - weddings, dinner parties, etc...but the experience of doing it a few times is going to help change my mindset. Maybe what's obvious to others takes me a little longer to catch on to - :H

So, I have to get a BUNCH of stuff done today - so am going to run.

And Lav, vegan pizzas sound fanTAStic!!!!!! Can we grill em?

( I seriously just teared up - thinking about it...It's pretty surreal - going from thinking you can't make it one day without alcohol to celebrating one year without it...) But not til Wednesday!

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Morning - am reporting in - busy weekend getting stuff settled around...had quite the lively weekend - the SO - in helping me unpack- wouldn't you know it - found the stash of empties hidden in a box.

Oh. That was fun. He thought they were fresh ones since I promised I'd quit. Fortunately - he heard the truth in my voice when I said - NO - they are not. I have not touched a single drop since that Monday morning I called you and said I poured it out. Not one. When I told you I was on a bender and a half before then - I was. You didn't understand how bad.

But that meant he literally unpacked everyone of my boxes - even went through my handbags in storage to see what was in them. But I guess he knows the worst now.

And he didn't leave. He stayed. We kept talking and working and communicating - and amazingly - loving. He's not normally very forgiving. I would have expected him to storm out. Not come back. I would have been wrong.

So much for what I know...

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Oh - and today is day 35...5 complete weeks.. and yes - I TTDP. As always...

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Well done PF ...... Bet you are made up with yourself .... And so you should be :h

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Wow, Lola, I wanted to tear up, too...It has been a long journey, but to have a day where you are putzing around in the kitchen all day and you realize you haven't thought about AL??? Now THAT is a blessing. I didn't think it would ever happen to me but it is...It's hard to describe, but every day that you don't use AL, you look back and say, normally, I'd have been drunk thru that, it builds up a reserve in your account. Then you become invested in your quit...until finally, you wouldn't give it up for anything. Because my quit IS my life. No drink can compare to what I have now. I hope you are seeing that, too, in your life. There is NO comparison to my life now and 2 years ago...I was writing MYSELF off back then. I felt that I brought NO value to the table, only liabilities. Something else was dragging me down and thru life and that was AL. I hate it, and I hope you do, too. It is nuts at how cunning it is to us. Why...after so long a time would I consider using it again? Yet, we try! This is the power of addiction. Well done to your upcoming year!!! I am so very proud of you!!

Prarie, I felt my stomach turn when you said your SO found your stash of empties...I would have DIED! One morning, I emptied out my ottoman here and it had 37 one liter empty boxes in it. I as only mortified by the volume of them, not what they had done to my liver!! It is amazing what we are willing to ignore to get our fix. I am equally happy for you in getting yourself on the right track. You are doing GREAT and better things are coming still!!

Hope everyone has a wonderful week! I am thinking of you all and keeping you close....Byrdie

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Well - I wanted to die. I thought...OMG...I've been on the straight and narrow for 5 weeks and he is not going to believe me. And he didn't. Not at first. And I had to say it more than once - and he was trained in the Army for interrogation techniques - so he hears a lie like nobodies business - and I said to him straight out - not a drop since that morning I told you I wouldn't. Not one.

I'm not sure he does...I think he does....he found one more empty bottle in a packed box - he made a point of leaving that gym back on my bed...but he found them all that's for sure...he rooted through everything after that...

He still stayed...he still curled up on the couch...he still let me cook...

[Quest for the key]

Newbies Nest

PF and Byrdy - I am sooooo inspired !!!

Thank you so much for being there for us nesters xxx it's tea time in England and I'm off for a kebab !!! No AL for me - yay !!!

Much love to you all xxx

[Next, please]

Newbies Nest

Gosh, super inspiring...and I need all the inspiration I can get today...Another day 1.

Lolab, your post brought tears to my eyes and well, Brydy, they were already there, but your post kept them coming.

Had a bad bender of a weekend. Yesterday was going to be Day 1, but blew off plans to stay home and drink and lay around. I HATE alcohol, yet I still have this voice saying, "You know you want me".

Ugh...:upset:

Prarie, I also found a forgotten empty yesterday. So glad your SO could see your truth. And congrats on 5 weeks!

[Next, please]

Newbies Nest

Oh, and Praire...

I bet that felt SOOOOO good to be able to look your SO in the eye and HONESTLY (no more hiding, lying about AL) be able to say those are old bottles and you haven't had a drop!!!

[belles]

Newbies Nest

Hello, I have been lurking around this site for some time and have finally decided that I've had it and I'm embarking on this journey once and for all.

Like many of you, I have flirted with quitting or moderating for years now. I am 49 and I think I started developing a problem with alcohol in my mid to late 30's. I am finally sick of it and ready to stop completely. I have not had any real consequences to my drinking other than a general feeling of shame and disgust about myself. I really can't stand that I've become this person obsessed with getting my wine "fix" each night and regretting it day after day the next morning. I am 20 pounds overweight - due to the wine, I am lacking in energy that I desperately need at this time in my life. And most of all, I have decided that I don't want to spend the rest of my life thinking about my next drink! What a waste of a life!

Anyway, thanks for letting me ramble - and I plan to continue to post here and remain sober so I hope I can hop in the nest.

[FreeFly]

Newbies Nest

Hello Belles and :welcome:

Well, absolutely ditto to all you said! You've found a great place - look forward to getting to know you

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Belles!! So glad you decided to jump in. I was reading around the boards over the weekend and it's frightening how many of us are in the 50'ish age range!!! Most of us tell the same sad tale, too....we've been drinking for 20+ years, blah, blah, blah! We're all telling the same story and we live all over the world! Amazing! We are glad you are joining us. As you know, we have lots of success here. Have you been able to find the 'tool box'? Lav posted it a couple days ago and it's in Lolab's by line if you need the link. There are 100's of tips and tricks to get you prepared for your new journey. We know you are scared...but we'll have your back every step of the way. Having a plan in place helps. What is a plan? Roughly, it's getting all the AL out of your house. It's surrounding yourself with things you like to do and eat. It reminds me of the day before you get a colonoscopy...it just has that kind of feel to it, except in this case you can eat any thing under the sun you want! You will find yourself with more time on your hands (when was the last time you could say that?) so have some activities you like to do, maybe knitting or get some good magazines or do some baking. Get your story together as to what you are going to tell people when they offer you something. Be prepared, this has derailed many a nester...the pushy hostess is a threat, so have your story and stick to it. Drink lots of water...some say, with lemon. Do whatever you have to do to get thru the evening without AL. Pretend like you made a bet with someone and will win $537,000 if you are able to go a week without it. Whatever it takes. Every single chunk of 15 minutes you put between yourself and AL is a victory.

Is today your Day 1? We are all pulling for you!! Next and Quest, great job on coming right back...this is a hell of an opponent, so we totally understand. Don't let it win again...Monday, September 24th will be the day you took your life back! Stick with us, you can do this!! Byrdie

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Hi Belles :welcome:

You have come to the right place as I am sure you know from all your lurking! LOL. There is something about actually posting that makes a huge difference. When you are lurking there is a part of your brain actually searching for words that prove you DON'T have a problem, you are NOT THAT BAD. You may read and actively seek out posts of people who sound so much worse than you, even though this may be subconscious.

Something changes when you actually post, you are saying consciously, I HAVE A PROBLEM. It doesn't matter how it COMPARES to anyone else. Just accepting that you have a problem begins the process of sorting that problem out.

Anyway good luck on this journey, sobriety ROCKS!


Quest .... I am sooooooo happy to see you AF, keep it up, you are doing great and it gets easier from here on in.

KY

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

Day 8

Evening peeps,

:welcome: Belles! I'm a newbie too and just learning, reading, listening. So many brilliant, useful, informative threads here.

Have got past day 8 AF. So this is good right? But I'm remembering what someone posted up about the initial run of sobriety (i've not had an AF day in about a year, and the last time I was 8 days AF... i think, might have been when I was about 19yrs old (OMG, WTF!?!?!) that it in itself was almost like a kind of addiction. I absolutely get this. Like a steely determination to reach 'x' amount of days. Actually, no, like getting a very mild euphoria with each day passed AF. A bit more please. Liking this.

So, ok, 8 days is good. Granted. But i suppose part of me is just waiting to fall. Especially because this is the first time, and part of me feels that "hey this isn't so bad, i can do this..." which i think will likely lead to the next thought, "so i can have a drink/s tonight" and give myself the excuse that it's the weekend or something like that...

My big run is in 6 days...:eeks: I honestly don;t know how i will feel after it (about staying sober) (I will obviously feel extreme fatigue, tiredness and my knees, thighs and feet will be all off to their solicitors to apply for divorce on the grounds of GBH). What i think i have realised simply in reading past posts, though, is that i am not a 1-pint guy. I'm not a 2-pint guy either. I want/ed the hit of several pints or at least a bottle of wine. However, I am concerned that post-run I will just revert back to where i was before (even if not immediately, and attempt modding initially)... Will just have to wait and see.

Rambling....sorry.... not sure i have a definitive point to make. Perhaps I just want to say hi and hope you're all cosy here.

RunC

[jamesmon]

Newbies Nest

HOW I GOT MY WIFE BACK JUST IN 3 DAYS

I live in united state, Two years ago i married a lady called saline, we had two children together, we were very happy to be husband and wife, so when i travel on business trip to Brazil, i spent 1 years in Brazil due to my kind of business, i and my wife talked on phone all the time, we chat on the Internet, i never knew that my wife had started cheating on me by going out with her old school friend called mark, i never knew something was going wrong till i came back from my trip, then i and My wife started having problems, she goes out and come back late at night, she changed in a strange way that i could not endure, i tried to do everything to please her but it got worst, so one day she left the house and never came back, i tried reaching her but no way i could reach her, i never knew she traveled with her new lover which was mark, i wanted her so much because of the children she left for me and because i loved her so much too, because of the heart break she put me into, i went into search of a real magic spell caster I was scammed twice by a spell caster, but I never relented in my search because I want a happy life with my wife, so one morning i was browsing so luckily for me i saw testimony on Google about a spell caster prophetharry but the email address was not disclosed the testimony i saw but when i typed prophetharry on Google i saw more testimonies from their i was able to get his email address, so i contacted him and to my greatest surprise this prophetharry made life manful for me again, my wife came back to me, i took her back and I am now settled with my wife by the magic power of prophet harry spell .
James moon'