Newbies Nest

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Quest for the key;1384199 wrote: I'm here and lurking ! Failing but still lurking xx

Love you guys xxx

That's called a stumble. Get back up, identify the pothole and find your way around it. It's just a hole. You don't HAVE to keep falling into it.

You have to be ready to commit and arm yourself with determination and tools or it's too easy to stumble.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Ldemi3 and Colomissy, welcome...I read your stories and while my drinking habits became round the clock endurance races, I sympathize with your having had enough of the fun. You have come to the right place if you are serious about getting your life back. This is a test of wills....the will of AL, and the will that YOU have. The first thing I learned after repeated tries, was that I had to get (and keep) control of my mind. Lav calls it Monkey Mind.. it's that constant chatter inside your head that tells you that it's ok to drink, when every fiber of your being knows it is not. MANY people here find success thru visualizing the whole scene...for example, when you get to 5 o'clock this afternoon and the voices start saying, 'Oh come on! It's the weekend!' They set the scene in their head and play it out that one leads to 2,3, 4 or the floor. Then visualize right on thru to the next morning's hangover.

I did do that sometimes (and still do), but the technique that worked for me was to stop that loop of thinking and think about something else...BREAK the cycle of the thoughts. When the image of a nice glass (or 5) entered my head...I shifted and said, NO, HELL NO! AL will not take one more day of my life!! Then I began naming off my cousins from youngest to oldest...I'd say the Lord's Prayer, I'd google how many dimples are in a golf ball...I'd name the 7 Dwarfs or Dwarves...google weather it's Dwarfs or Dwarves...you get the idea. This worked for me. I liken it to my precious dog....when she gets her head set on chasing something, only a quick clap of the hands or yell will get her off that target. She is totally FIXED on it. This was me...once my thinking started going down the rabbit hole, I had a REALLY hard time climbling out and usually gave in. So I stop myself in my tracks....and it works for me.

Keep your tummy FULL. Yes you will crave sweets, give your body whatever it wants with one exception. (yes, THAT) You will be tired and drained, so stay hydrated. Make a big deal of eating....THINK about what you are eating and try to identify the various tastes you are having...like a food critic. This is called mindfulness...this helps, too. You are retraining the way you THINK.

I had flu like symptoms...I just felt like hell for 2 weeks...this is just how it is. You can't abuse your body for 25 years and then expect it to forgive you overnight. So expect that you will either sleep MUCH longer than you ever have, or you will have trouble sleeping...this will be the case for the first 3 weeks or so....after that your sleep should even out. Some people say that better sleeping is worth the price of admission alone!

Your emotions will be all over the place. Strong and defiant one minute...reduced to tears the next.... irritable and short-fused then having the patience of JOB....Yes, it's a bit of a roller coaster the first couple weeks, but it is worth it to get to the other side!! NO MORE of this crap that AL causes...if you are like me you are just sick of it! I HATE AL for what it has done to me and my friends here. A healthy hate is a good thing in this case..

Like any loss, you are going to be grieving...so expect this. Remember the stages of grief: Anger, denial, bargaining, depression and finally, acceptance. You will hit each and every one of these. We'll help you get thru them and recognize them as they happen...but you have to tell us how you are feeling. Don't go thru this alone....someone here has done every single crazy thing you have. We are all here to help each other, so laugh with us, cry with us, and mostly, share with us. We are in this together. We are so glad you found us. Byrdie

[Rainyday]

Newbies Nest

More good advice. You guys should write a book.

[Quest for the key]

Newbies Nest

Omg Byrdy - I'm welling up xxx

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie - darn good post! Reading that was like a quick re-charge of the batteries. Good stuff

Off out to the coffee house again - but need to pop by a friends art exhibition opening. There will be free booze there, but thinking about Sunday's race is enough for now to sway me towards the orange juice. And i wont stay long.

Catch youse later!

RC

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Quest, I hate to say it, because I don't want you to think I'm patronizing you...but I had so many day 1's...I could get 2,3 or 4 days down...I got to 12 days TWICE and on the second one, it was 8 at night, I HAD THIS DAY LICKED...my hubs went downstairs for a minute, I poured a coffeemug full of wine and gulped it down! WHAT THE HECK was THAT all about??? The last time, I GOT thru that 12th day, dammit....and I never looked back. This will happen for you....I wouldn't give you false hope for anything...you can do this...if I can do it, I know you can, too!!

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Medusa :H:H

And Quest, you are not failing, you only fail when you give up. You're here so that's a great start...now superglue your buns to the Nest and keep posting!

Byrdie...again, excellent post! I love your comparison to your dog being easily sidetracked...you know that movie UP where the dog would be talking then all of a sudden he'd see something out of the side of his eye and go "SQUIRREL!"??.... that should be our new mantra...or try it at work like I do...it's fun!

Fast forwarding to the hangover still works for me...I had some doozies and I never want to feel like that again....OR wake up bruised from head to toe with no idea how I got that way. You get the picture. Now weigh that against getting a buzz, is it worth it? NO.

Hang tight everyone.

SQUIRRELL!

[Quest for the key]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Byrdy ! I know you know what not just I am going through - but all of us at our various stages in this journey x

But I know I need to make that final decision - and it will come - I know it will !

I just need to stay close - so I hope you don't mind if I carry on lurking ?

Much love to you all xxx

[Quest for the key]

Newbies Nest

Thanks k9 ! I too love the dog comparison - that made me giggle !!!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Quest...whenever you're ready. We are here! B

[Quest for the key]

Newbies Nest

Thanks hunny x

[colomissy]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady - That was a wonderful post, yes the mind has to change & I have to work at it & give the changes or advice a chance to work, and see how amazing & proud of myself when it does work!

Quest - You just keep lurking, I have done that for years on another site before I discovered this one!

[Quest for the key]

Newbies Nest

Thanks colomissy xx

Lol it's amazing what predictive texting gives when typing !!

Colomissy you were nearly colonic lol xxx

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Quest for the key;1384243 wrote:
Colomissy you were nearly colonic lol xxx

I thought she was Colon Itchy...and I'm on a keyboard.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

That was classic Byrdie....beautiful. And every word of it, true.

If you really want it, and you are really struggling this weekend - please cry out for help here, everyone. :-)

I have to get back to work.