Newbies Nest

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Nurd, congratulations on 30 days. That is huge. A point of no return. You should now feel emotionally stronger and in better control of your cravings. !!!!

Lola, I wanted to present the hat, however, Byrdie only allowed me to moon people for now. There are 4 people reaching the 7 day mark on the October Sober thread, if you want to cheer them on.

ALLAN

[stumpy]

Newbies Nest

Congratulations Nurd, you must feel great! Good job!

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Thinking and praying for Byrdie this morining!

Byrdie, been thinking of you so, since yesterday! Wow, I don't even think saying the LORD's prayer, naming all your cousins, or the 7 dwarfs (dwarves) could have gotten your mind off all you are having to go through. I have had you on my mind so much, that I remembered an email I had gotten a while back, explaining the "procedure". Thought we all may be able to use a lil humor this morning (at your expense - sorry) and will try to post the joke in a minute. It's long, but pretty hilarious :H Maybe you can enjoy it when you come out on the other side. And maybe the rest of the nest can enjoy it to keep us from worrying about you:l

Also, Congrats on Day 30, Daisy and Nurdl :goodjob:

Love to all, Star!

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Some colonoscopic (sp?) humor- sorry B.

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis. Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, "HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!"
I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies.
I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor. Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.
The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, "a loose, watery bowel movement may result." This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.
MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.
After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, "What if I spurt on Andy?" How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.
At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full o f other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.
Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this is, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.
When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was "Dancing Queen" by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, "Dancing Queen" had to be the least appropriate.
"You want me to turn it up?" said Andy, from somewhere behind me. "Ha ha," I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.
I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling "Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine," and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

[nurdl]

Newbies Nest

Starfish - I have tears running down my face after reading your encounter with the 17,000 ft monster. It's probably a blessing that Byrdie doesn't know what she's missing right now. Congratulations to both you and your colon.
~nurdl

[nurdl]

Newbies Nest

Allan - I think many moons is a perfect way to show our newbs that we are behind them 100%. A hat at 30 days will let them know they are cared for top to bottom

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Sorry for yelling Allan - I panicked. :-)

I was thinking, "What if I spurt on Andy?" I was amused but at this point - I burst out laughing...so funny starfish! Byrdie - can you feel the love??? We're all thinking of you!

[stumpy]

Newbies Nest

Starfish, you sure were lucky! I woke up in the middle of the procedure and asked my doctor to stop, he didn't listen so I punched him dead in the face. I wake during most surgeries but never before in that kind of pain. Now, they give me enough pofofol (sp?) to knockout 12 Michael Jackson's. I know ( bad joke) but true.

[Shiner]

Newbies Nest

That was funny.... Today is day 5. I feel pretty good. But not good enough for a 27,000 tube to be put anywhere at all right now. Hope you all have a great day.
Shiner

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Hey Shiner- I am on day 5 also

Way to go us !!!!

Hey y'all- that wasn't actually me in that joke about the colonoscopy- it was just a joke I had read and thought it was too funny and wanted to share. I have not been brave enough to have the "procedure" done yet, although I am overdue for one.
We need to give Byrdie her own "full moon" when she wakes up, just for being so brave and showing us the way we need to act!

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

OMG that story was too funny! I like the comparison to a shuttle launch, with you being the shuttle. LOL

:cheering::cheering:HAPPY FRIDAY!!!:cheering::cheering:

We have a lot of celebrations going on today...and I'd just like to add that today is day 40 of not smoking for me!

Byrdie, please check in ass soon ass you can and let us know how the Roto-Rooter experience was! I'll be thinking of you and that big cheeseburger with onion rings. Love you!!!

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Nurdl; didn't realise we were celebrating together - great stuff! And now for the next milestone......aaaagh!
Thank you all for the good wishes. I strongly believe that everybody here plays a part when any of us achieves a goal, so thanks.
Starfish that was one very explicit story - was picturing myself in that situation each step of the way. It would have to be a 'doors locked and no visitors day'! Now I feel really sorry for Byrdie; more for yesterday........aww.....

[Shiner]

Newbies Nest

Hi Starfish. My 5 day friend... Yay for you K9. I know it takes a lot. I admire you. And the fire shooting out the bottom because you mix vodka with the movi stuff and burn house down made me roll. Thank goodness it wasn't you Star. B

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

K9, way to go!!! Before we know we will have the lungs of a non smoker :happy:

ALLAN

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Day 4

Yes, I'm now saying Day 4 vs. Day 3, the latter actually being the full 24-hr period of being AF. Screw it, I'm on Day 4! Rolling back one seems easy enough, but I keep confusing myself and I can't have that right now.

Looks like everyone is rockin' and rollin'. So cool. I still wish there was an easy way for us to have a single rolling Roll Call message where we each add our name and days quit. Last time we tried, it fell apart. I may have to work up a tutorial on how to do it.

I see that I do have the option to attached images to these messages. I'll work up a pictorial tutorial and post it later today. Hopefully then we can have rolling, daily roll call.