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    Newbies Nest

    Cat, your emotions will be all over the place for the first 30 days...one day up...the next a little down...it will even out. It will not stay this hard...a week of crap is worth a lifetime of peace...woudn't you say? Stay the course...giving in brings the G/S/R brothers (guilt, shame, remorse) We know these guys all too well. They only bring dispair....stick with us....you will be so glad you did.. life on the other side of addiction is THE BEST! You can do it....B
    All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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    Newbie's Nest

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      Newbies Nest

      You

      Cat, I went through this last night. It totally sucked and I too was seriously questioning this whole pursuit, but then remembered how hard I'd worked the days before and that yes, this craving would have to end - tomorrow's a new day, all that stuff. Anyway, please-please hang in there. You can absolutely make it to tomorrow and oh what a difference a day can make...
      Achieved Goals: Getting Back to Working on This Project!
      Goal In Progress...1 YEAR

      Instructions on posting to Roll Call:

      Go forward boldly and unafraid

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        Newbies Nest



        Thank you, Fin and Byrdie. Fin, I feel you are like a brother, in this with me at our beginnings. Byrdie, I think of you as a wise mother, although you would have had me as a child!

        Thank you both for responding to my need for help. I am sitting here crying. And dealing with emotions is not something I do well- right, we all have that in common? I realize I need to learn emotional skills just like sobriety skills; but what do I do in the moment? I was SOOOOO weak. Just ready to curl up and give up. I didn't, and I won't.

        Fin, you touched me so much with your post the other day on your reflections on one week of sobriety; my experience exactly. I have reveled in being present for my son at night, and having him so visibly moved by my attention. He is with his Dad tonight; maybe that is why I fell apart. The weekend was so hard with all the repeated offers to share a glass, and even today at work and carpooling home, there were three offers!!!
        As Byrdie said, AL just flows in our society. What would this experience be like if it was Prohibition? If we were the norm in not drinking?

        Now I'm getting cerebral, stuffing my emotions well. What a well honed skill for me that one is.

        Fin, I won't give up. I'm just so weak right now. No emotional strength in me.

        I love you guys. Truly. Thank you for cleaning up the sh*t parade with me.

        Catbuddy
        "It is easier to maintain than to start from the bottom again. I can't go back there." Byrdie

        AF since Oct 2, 2012

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          Newbies Nest

          I dedicate my 300th post to my friends in the Nest. I am upon in two weeks my 7th month of sobriety. I know the Nest is a busy place. And it's hard for me to keep up. But I want to thank the nest for helping me change. And please stick around if your new. Some amazing things happen here. :h
          Started living again 2/7/2015

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            Newbies Nest

            Cat, thanks so much for posting one more time and for the sentiments expressed. I'm relieved that you've found the fortitude to keep it rolling and that we can keep pushing forward together given our comonalities . Let's keep a close eye on each other. You've got me.

            I echo Cat's message to the rest of you. Thank You!

            Off to bed now. Be good...
            Achieved Goals: Getting Back to Working on This Project!
            Goal In Progress...1 YEAR

            Instructions on posting to Roll Call:

            Go forward boldly and unafraid

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              Newbies Nest

              finallydone;1390016 wrote: I dedicate my 300th post to my friends in the Nest. I am upon in two weeks my 7th month of sobriety. I know the Nest is a busy place. And it's hard for me to keep up. But I want to thank the nest for helping me change. And please stick around if your new. Some amazing things happen here. :h
              Right on, buddy. 7 months?! That is fantastic. Thanks also for the 300 dedication. That was a classy move.
              Achieved Goals: Getting Back to Working on This Project!
              Goal In Progress...1 YEAR

              Instructions on posting to Roll Call:

              Go forward boldly and unafraid

              Comment


                Newbies Nest

                Day 24 in the Big Sober House

                Six am. All the house mates are asleep.

                It's been a busy evening in the Big Sober House. Byrdie has returned with Prairie who was found outside dancing in a state of ecstasis, having reached her 50th AF day. Dancing outside is fine, but it was p'ing with rain. Upon bringing Prairie back inside to the House, all the housemates congratulated Prairie on her fine success. K9 put a picture of Prairie on the '50 day staging post' in the garden and added a small sparker to the post.

                There was an audible "wooooooooo" from all the housemates. Perhaps, with this new success Big Sober would allow the housemates to have a party?

                Big Sober called Byrdie to the diary room.

                BIG SOBER: Good evening Byrdie.

                BYRDIE: Good evening Big Sober.

                BIG SOBER: How are you?

                BYRDIE: Very well, Big Sober. How are you?

                (Big Sober does not reply)

                BIG SOBER: Byrdie,

                BYRDIE: Yes -

                BIG SOBER: Big Sober would like you to lead in organising a housemates party in celebration of Prarie's 50th AF day.

                BYRDIE: Wow! Big Sober, tha -

                (Big Sober buts in)

                BIG SOBER: The party must consist of the following elements. If the housemates fail in these, then Big Sober will have to penalise the housemates.

                BYRDIE: In what way?

                BIG SOBER: Big Sober is not obliged to say at this point. But the penalty will be felt by all.

                BYRDIE: What are the elements of the party?

                BIG SOBER: The party must contain the following elements: Home baked cake; colourful hats worn by every housemate; a fun and interactive game in the garden that can involve all MWO housemates; a tune from Fin and a song from Mr G.

                BYRDIE: Is that everything?

                BIG SOBER: Yes, that's everything.

                BYRDIE: Good -

                BIG SOBER: No, wait...

                (Big Sober pauses)

                BYRDIE: Well...?

                BIG SOBER: No, you're ok. That is everything.

                Byrdie leaves the diary room. She meets Lav, shattered having spent the evening chasing chickens, and explains the task. Lav offers to make some of her finest homemade granny cookies. Byrdie bumps into Fin and Cat, explains the task in hand. Fin straightaway starts plucking a tune out of nowhere, Cat starts word-smithing some words to Fin's tune.

                BYRDIE: quietly peeps, the rest of the house is asleep.

                Fin and Cat retire to the living room to get creative with words and music. Byrdie returns to the girls room with note pad and pen and starts to quietly write a list of actions for the party. Until she gets a bit bored and what's a some help...

                BYRDIE: LOLAB! Get yer rear end in here and help me. You and me aint sleeping until this party is good to go!

                Lolab in her nighty, trundles through to Byrdie and wearily helps write the party to-do list...

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                  Newbies Nest

                  Catbuddy;1390014 wrote: Thank you, Fin and Byrdie. Fin, I feel you are like a brother, in this with me at our beginnings. Byrdie, I think of you as a wise mother, although you would have had me as a child!

                  Thank you both for responding to my need for help. I am sitting here crying. And dealing with emotions is not something I do well- right, we all have that in common? I realize I need to learn emotional skills just like sobriety skills; but what do I do in the moment? I was SOOOOO weak. Just ready to curl up and give up. I didn't, and I won't.

                  Fin, you touched me so much with your post the other day on your reflections on one week of sobriety; my experience exactly. I have reveled in being present for my son at night, and having him so visibly moved by my attention. He is with his Dad tonight; maybe that is why I fell apart. The weekend was so hard with all the repeated offers to share a glass, and even today at work and carpooling home, there were three offers!!!
                  As Byrdie said, AL just flows in our society. What would this experience be like if it was Prohibition? If we were the norm in not drinking?

                  Now I'm getting cerebral, stuffing my emotions well. What a well honed skill for me that one is.

                  Fin, I won't give up. I'm just so weak right now. No emotional strength in me.

                  I love you guys. Truly. Thank you for cleaning up the sh*t parade with me.

                  Catbuddy
                  No words, just a great big :l for you.
                  RC

                  Comment


                    Newbies Nest

                    Oh my gosh! I?m glad I decided to check in before bed tonight. Lola -- how embarrassing to have missed my own party. Oh brother! You are too nice! Thank you so so much for that -- it means a lot to me. I post so infrequently that I don?t really expect to be remembered. I?m seriously choked up. Really!!! I?ve got to get over there and thank everyone else! I rarely venture anywhere but the Nest -- am feeling all grown up now!

                    Hi Belle -- My kids are doing great. I?m so glad to have the energy to almost keep up with them! No worries about missing my one year celebration -- I did too! I actually spent the day hiking in the mountains with my 7 year old son and his little classmates. I would never have volunteered for that a year earlier because I knew I?d be too sick and hungover in the morning to do anything at all. I hope your appointment went well today. I?ve been thinking about you.

                    Fin -- Thank you for your song. It?s beautiful but it has gotten to me too. Growing up, my brother who died almost 12 years ago used to fall asleep to that album all the time. He played it over and over and over. Makes me feel sad. I miss him so much.

                    Sweet dreams to everyone else. if you are here tonight you are in a good place!

                    RC -- am I invited to the party to? I'd hate to miss another!
                    AF since 9/20/2011

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                      Newbies Nest

                      Mom - you are most definitely invited - ALL those living it up in the big sober house are invited

                      RC

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                        Newbies Nest

                        new to this

                        Hello everyone,
                        its taken me a long time to admit to myself that i have a drinking problem, not sure why as i have been drinking since my late teens and am now hitting 40! i have been doing a lot of soul searching lately and realise that i enjoy being sober more than i enjoy being drunk! i was just drinking to enjoy a drink although i tell myself i like wine, i actually like drinking wine and numbing myself and dont know why! i tell myself its a reward for a busy day, or i am celebrating something but lately more and more i am more days drinking then not, and spend my time fighting with myself and paranoid that there is a smell of wine off me on the school drop off. i look at all the other mothers and think bet they dont drink a bottle of wine a night! i have said to my husband who will happily drink a bottle of wine too that i think there is a problem and he simply says ah well we wont have any tonight, he tries to down play it but i now know there is definitely a problem of control. i really hate the effect of alcohol and the lack of control i have with it, as i said to my husband i admire those people who say i opened a bottle and only had 2 glasses, that is foreign to me! i would open the bottle and might even open a second. i feel so ashamed that i am this way but something clicked in my head over the last few days and i realised i need to stop drinking! i am a very active and normally happy go lucky mother but i feel like a fake, everyone thinks i am great but under neath i know its all a lie as i am drinking so much. i want to stop, i have 2 beautiful girls 2 and 4 who adore me and a husband who loves me. i want them to be proud of me and to be in the present at all times. i would love your support as i start on day 1 of my journey. i only came across this site by change and i believe i found it just at the right time.:new: so here's to jumping in and starting as i mean to go on.

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                          Newbies Nest

                          Welcome Hitting40; your story is similar to so many who have come before you; you have taken the first step. Read as much as you can here, looking back at older stories -you will relate and be inspired....I wish you well and look forward to seeing you getting happy in your sober life.
                          IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
                          Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

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                            Newbies Nest

                            Roll Call for Oct 10th, 2012

                            Roll Call for Oct 10th, 2012

                            Fin - Day 9 (committed)
                            Achieved Goals: Getting Back to Working on This Project!
                            Goal In Progress...1 YEAR

                            Instructions on posting to Roll Call:

                            Go forward boldly and unafraid

                            Comment


                              Newbies Nest

                              :-) wickedmom....you've always popped in at the right moment to lend your support - of course you're remembered!

                              Cat, Byrdie's right - those emotions are so unpredictable at first....and dealing with them IS exhausting. :l

                              Oh, I forgot - did I see a post from minstar somewhere??? Too many posts on here - I thought I did but then couldn't find it again.

                              oooh boy RC - do you have me and Byrdie pegged!!!!:H

                              hitting40 - I could really identify with your post, too - like daisy said - it's a very familiar feeling to many of us...I know the feeling like a fake....looking at other mothers and thinking none of them do something so awful....there was a song that used to go through my head all the time..."all of my friends they think that I'm blessed...they don't know my head is a mess" ...

                              My husband drank too - but after seeing that I wasn't - and then after the two of us having many casual conversations about setting a good example for our son - he ended up quitting too. It wasn't like a big "we are both quitting" - he - I think - just slowly started seeing - as I did - that things could be so much better without it. But first work on yourself - you might be surprised at what follows. :-)
                              ~

                              Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.

                              Sobriety date: Sept 26, 2011

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                                Newbies Nest

                                Roll Call for Oct 10th, 2012

                                Fin - Day 9 (committed)
                                Nurdl - Day 35 (committed)
                                :notes:
                                we are human beings with alcohol problems not alcoholics with problems caused by drinking

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