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    Newbies Nest

    Daisy, it is gonna be ok.

    And i know how fecking it easy it is for me to say that when i am not in your position, but you are understandably upset. Any one of us would be in your position. I mean, what else would any parent want but for the child to grow up well, with the best traits of their folks and not the bad ones, the ones that hurt others, the traits we dislike to see in others.

    You know so well he is good. And you know that you are too. And despite the pain he may directly, or indirectly, cause you now, you will always know that he is good AND has all the goodness that is you, Daisy, as part of his make-up also.

    Your fear and pain and anger seems to be fundamentally with his father - totally understandable, totally right, as i read it. But whatever anger your ex stirs, you must look out for what's most important to you - you, your son, your interests, his interests. Even if the ex stirs stuff up, even if he feeds your son his own bad traits, don't waste energy fighting him, but spend your energy continuing to show your son love, compassion, empathy, humility and humour. He will know, deep down, the right thing to do.

    I don't know if any of these words help...

    Here's a BIG CELTIC HUG though :l

    RC

    Comment


      Newbies Nest

      HUGS to you Daisy...really.....I would be devestated
      I love my family more than alcohol.:h
      Live in the Solution....not the problem

      Comment


        Newbies Nest

        Day 24 in the Big Sober House cont'd

        Lolab has returned to the girl?s bedroom to rest. Byrdie is in the kitchen cleaning up. Starfish has been adding the final frills on the 50 mega-mocha burgers, for Prairie?s 50 days. They?re piled high in the Big Sober kitchen, just waiting for the greedy dirty paws of the other housemates to descend upon them.

        Catbuddy has been called to the diary room.


        CAT: Hello Big Sober.

        BIG SOBER: Hello Catbuddy. How are you?

        CAT: I?m ok, Big Sober. How are you?

        There is an uncomfortable silence?

        Cat waves to the wall, behind which sits Big Sober. She feels a little bit silly. And begins to sing? (YES ? to the tune of Your Song?)

        ?I feel a little bit silly, sitting right here
        talking to a wall that knows all my fears.
        Why wont you say some words you god-forsaken-non-descript-cheap-mdf-wall,
        Prairie?s got a party, no time to stall ? ?

        Silence.

        BIG SOBER: You missed an appointment.

        CAT: ?And?

        BIG SOBER: With me.

        CAT: ?Uh-huh?

        BIG SOBER: Do you have anything to say?

        CAT: Not really.

        BIG SOBER: Really?

        CAT: ?You?re a little bit silly, you ? ?

        BIG SOBER: Thank you Cat. Clearly you feel little remorse for missing our appointment.

        CAT: It?s not the end of the world, right? It was just an appointment, right? Did any one die? No. See? Good.

        Silence

        BIG SOBER: Big Sober is pleased with Catbuddy and how she has dealt with missing our appointment.

        CAT: Thank ?

        BIG SOBER: You may leave the diary room.

        ?.

        Meanwhile, outside, K9 and Lav are putting up the fairy lights, the bunting and
        putting the speakers in place for the sounds. Fin has sound checked and tuned up.
        Nurdl has collected Rooni from the roof who, for the past 24 hours has sat on the
        roof, continuously counting Rooni?s fingers in disbelief that, yes, Rooni has as many
        fingers as Rooni has AF days. Rooni is in a mild state of disbelief.

        BIG SOBER: Housemates. In two minutes, you will receive a visitor.

        Lav and K9 pelt back into the house in anticipation.

        DAISY: Is it Prairie?

        PRAIRIE: No, Daisy, it?s not.

        DAISY: How come?

        PRAIRIE: Because, Daisy, I am standing right beside you.

        DAISY: Oh.

        LAV: It?ll be a newbie.

        BYRDIE: Right, well if that?s the case we better all stand with our arms wide open, so they see we all want to embrace them.

        LAV: Great idea, Byrdie.

        K9 manoeuvres herself to the front.

        K9: I would like to hug them first.

        Byrdie rolls her eyes.

        WICKEDMOM: Oh my god. If THIS is what you do for newbies and those reaching 50 days AF, I must?ve missed a hell of a 1 year party.

        BYRDIE: You did. Don?t worry ? you saw the remnants. It was messy. Loud. You?d have been proud.

        BIG SOBER: One minute until the front door opens.

        Lolab rises from her pit and come through to where the other house mates have
        congregated. Prairie explains the situation. Lolab, still covered in mocha from her
        baking experiments with Byrdie, rubs her eyes. Mocha powder covers her eyes.

        BIG SOBER: Lolab, you look like a panda.

        FIN: Wait ? who?s got drinks?

        Everyone shrugs.

        FIN: Let me.

        Fin heads to the boys bedroom and returns with empty cans of coke, fanta,
        orangina, 7up?

        CAT: Fin, they?re empty?

        Fin runs to the tap, fills them up with water.

        BYRDIE: Better than beer I suppose.

        BIG SOBER: Housemates. The door is about to open?

        The door opens and there standing at the entrance is?


        [to be cont?d]

        Comment


          Newbies Nest

          Oh Daisy :l:l:l
          I know it doesn't seem so now, but it IS all going to be ok!
          You are such a sweet lady and I have enjoyed getting to know you through this website. You are doing so well, too- just look at you- over one month AL free :goodjob:
          I hear how upset you are (and rightly so)...It is such a shame that others (even our loved ones) have so much power over our emotions and can make our spirits go from feeling great to feeling horrid in just a short amount of time. Please do anything you can to take care of yourself for the rest of the day (or night - not sure what time it is in Ireland). Try to get this mess out of your mind at the moment, because you really can't sort it all out today anyhow. Your son and ex don't need anything from you right now and they are just "taking up space in your head, rent free" at the moment. :upset:
          Try to get some rest, Daisy. We all love you and want the best for you- don't forget that
          :h
          :heartbeat:

          Star:star:

          08-13-15

          I am only one drink away from never being sober again.

          Comment


            Newbies Nest

            Star u and I are on day 10...WooHoo.....
            Dottie

            Newbie's Nest

            Tool Box
            ____________
            AF 9.1.2013

            Comment


              Newbies Nest

              Yep! Yay us! Where's Roonie? Oh yeah, off counting fingers somewhere!
              :heartbeat:

              Star:star:

              08-13-15

              I am only one drink away from never being sober again.

              Comment


                Newbies Nest

                Daisy, hugs to you. I went through the same thing years ago. One day when my son's came back to me for help, I just said (for the first time) go ask your dad. That was the end of that. I can tell you that the chickens will come home to roost. Every Holiday, it's my table that my kids gather around. You're son has not hit the age of being a man yet, he will. Trust me. (((Hugs)))
                AF since 8/29/12 Goal 30 day-screwed up on day 9
                AF since 9/9/12- Goal 30 days
                STUMPY IS A LADY!

                Comment


                  Newbies Nest

                  RC, I have a question for you. What is a respectable 1 mile time?

                  AK
                  AF since 1st Sep 2012
                  NF since 1st Sep 2012

                  If you want to feel better visit www.hopeforpaws.org

                  Comment


                    Newbies Nest

                    allankay;1390341 wrote: RC, I have a question for you. What is a respectable 1 mile time?

                    AK
                    27 minutes. Or is that just MY personal best? :H
                    :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                    Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

                    Comment


                      Newbies Nest

                      K9, 27 minutes thats like 2.2mph LOL

                      Was reading mens health magazine today and they defined someone fit being able to run 1 mile in 6 mintues 30 seconds... I did 7m44s on the first attempt. (running almost flat out). BTW a month ago I couldn't even run a mile LOL

                      Also my scales are finally starting to move in the right direction. YEY

                      AK
                      AF since 1st Sep 2012
                      NF since 1st Sep 2012

                      If you want to feel better visit www.hopeforpaws.org

                      Comment


                        Newbies Nest

                        Job stress is my worst trigger and today it is really the PITS!!!! did I mention that I HATE my job....
                        Dottie
                        Dottie

                        Newbie's Nest

                        Tool Box
                        ____________
                        AF 9.1.2013

                        Comment


                          Newbies Nest

                          Aww Daisy. I'm so sorry to learn about your son. Sometimes men are such idiots and I'm speaking more about your ex than your son. As RC said he is also a part of you and you are a loving and wonderful person. He will come to realize how much he is loved and cared for by you. Be strong my quit buddy.

                          {{{hugs}}}
                          ~nurdl
                          :notes:
                          we are human beings with alcohol problems not alcoholics with problems caused by drinking

                          Comment


                            Newbies Nest

                            Brilliant writing RC. I'm holding my breath for the next installment. You are such a tease.
                            Star I'll locate Rooni. I had to carry him down from the roof because he wouldn't use his hands. What the heck are we going to do with him when he gets to his toes? And what about after Day 20?
                            ~nurdl
                            :notes:
                            we are human beings with alcohol problems not alcoholics with problems caused by drinking

                            Comment


                              Newbies Nest

                              Dottie, I have never met a person who loved their job. The ones that said they liked their job, after a more thorough conversation admitted that their understanding of a good job was a job that can be tolerated.

                              The only people that I have met in my life that were truly happy working, were self employed.

                              AK
                              AF since 1st Sep 2012
                              NF since 1st Sep 2012

                              If you want to feel better visit www.hopeforpaws.org

                              Comment


                                Newbies Nest

                                K9Lover;1390349 wrote: 27 minutes. Or is that just MY personal best? :H
                                :H:H:H:H:H

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