Daisy, it is gonna be ok.
And i know how fecking it easy it is for me to say that when i am not in your position, but you are understandably upset. Any one of us would be in your position. I mean, what else would any parent want but for the child to grow up well, with the best traits of their folks and not the bad ones, the ones that hurt others, the traits we dislike to see in others.
You know so well he is good. And you know that you are too. And despite the pain he may directly, or indirectly, cause you now, you will always know that he is good AND has all the goodness that is you, Daisy, as part of his make-up also.
Your fear and pain and anger seems to be fundamentally with his father - totally understandable, totally right, as i read it. But whatever anger your ex stirs, you must look out for what's most important to you - you, your son, your interests, his interests. Even if the ex stirs stuff up, even if he feeds your son his own bad traits, don't waste energy fighting him, but spend your energy continuing to show your son love, compassion, empathy, humility and humour. He will know, deep down, the right thing to do.
I don't know if any of these words help...
Here's a BIG CELTIC HUG though :l
RC
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