Newbies Nest

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Good Job Alcoholic! And just think of all the vitamins and nutrients your body got from that salad! This is opposed to the damage that would have been done to your liver/brain from the alcohol. I know your body is thanking you!:goodjob: and your conscience is enjoying a vacation too!

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Hi Allan,

Congratulations on your job interview. You deserve the best of everything. You are truly amazing! AF AND NF since September 1st. Boy, when you decide to go for it you really go all out! And you're running, too. It is awesome how much you've accomplished. Truly incredible. I've never seen such a turnaround in only a month and a half. Wishing you the best of everything. Warmest regards to you......

Hi Iama,
How I feel for you. The head chatter is the WORST! I struggled with 5 non-stop days of it before going out the last time. No rest, day or night....For some strange reason, my day 1, yesterday, was pretty smooth. I woke up a little shaky, but after taking some l-glutamine with some lemon water, and later, making myself something to eat, I felt much better.

Don't ask me why, but yesterday was the first day in a week that the head chatter was giving it a rest. What a blessing! Things aren't as quiet today, but I'm trying to remember what Byrdie said about the voice of addiction (dick head) being the enemy. I was envisioning a picture I remember from childhood , showing the devil whispering in a child's ear, tempting him to steal something. Corny, but I really need to identifiy that voice as something malevolent and bent on my destruction. Because it is.

I'm exploring other ways of tackling what is really the biggest part: the mental obsession. Long after the withdrawals are over and the cravings have subsided, it's the mental obsession that continues to plague us. I need a new way to look at things, at myself, and at the world. A new way to react to stress, anxiety and hurt. Maybe just starting with some slow, deep breathing. Or a brisk walk. Both are easy, cheap and remarkably helpful. That's where I'm starting. And a lot of reading. Mostly inspirational and self-help books. I'm also taking the vits and supps, which hopefully will help return some stability to my mind and body. Keep posting Iama, we are all with you.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

There are quite a few of you now in your first week. This is BY FAR the worst week. You feel weak, ill, scared, lonely .... But worst of all, you feel like everyone else can do it but you can't.......... Not now, not this time. I know, because I was you a thousand times.(7000 times to be more precise).

A little story to hopefully help you through this first week, guys;



Quest and Miss tipsy, you keep falling over at day 2 or 3. I assume you know from everyone here that the first seven days are the worst, but of course you don't really KNOW how much better you will feel so there is no incentive to stick it out cos your brain is screaming

DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK

You read my previous post of 23 years of failed day ones. Sometimes my work meant I would go 2 nights AF and they were sleepless and I felt exhausted but I couldn't understand why they were actually not too bad. Then I would have day 3, promise myself that if I could do 2 nights working I could do a third, fourth, fifth FOR ME. But I never could because I had convinced myself it was too hard, I needed to sleep yadda yadda yadda.

I eventually made myself so sick and tired that I knew I was gonna die if I kept this half a bottle of vodka a day habit going. So I got my son and his girlfriend to move back in, had a big song and dance about it, set up umpteen safety nets and started the first quit of my life.

I started that first week in absolute terror, convinced that by day 3 or 4 or 5 at the latest I was going to be having DTs, hospitalized or a basket case in some way. Those first 5 days were hard, mostly because I was holding my breath , waiting for all hell to break loose.

Truth is by day 5 I felt fine, tired and a little out of body aching but my days were AWESOME I was sober! The feelings some describe as cravings are, IMHO better described as simply your body shedding alcohol. Your brain knows from years of practice that you can reverse this process and stop the pain by drinking alcohol. Your poor brain, the primitive part doesn't know that it will stop in a few days. Your poor alcohol sodden primitive brain only knows how to stop it NOW..... BY DRINKING MORE ALCOHOL.

This is where you ladies are at, the alcohol leaving is causing you fear, no pain just FEAR. This is your battle, to stick it out cos your intellect brain has the benefit of US people telling you it WILL stop.

But you wanna know what hurts most is when I look at my sons who had to grow up watching me suffer and helpless to stop me.......

I HAD JUST WASTED 23 YEARS OF MY FECKING LIFE FOR FEAR OF ONE WEEK OF DISCOMFORT

So ladies ...get back on your horses and start again,Please
__________________

Please TRY and hold on and get your week done ..... It changes the whole world ..honest.

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

And Hi to you Starfish and Alcoholic. Glad you are all here. Warmest thoughts and wishes to all.

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

And Hi Kuya. Thanks for your post. So much food for thought.

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Almost Free, that was very kind of you. I appreciate your comment

AK

[iamaquitter28]

Newbies Nest

Kuya: Your post is very inspirational. Hearing stories such as yours makes me believe that someday I can kick this. However, today I've failed yet again. Tomorrow is another day.
My plan failed and my "dick head", as byrdie calls it, won. I am disappointed in myself but I know that I can do this eventually! Thank you for everyone's support. I hope you do not feel that your words are wasted on me. I hear them all loud and clear and then the voice wins! Sorry guys and gals. Day 1 starts again tomorrow!

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

iamaquitter28;1393803 wrote: Kuya: Your post is very inspirational. Hearing stories such as yours makes me believe that someday I can kick this. However, today I've failed yet again. Tomorrow is another day.
My plan failed and my "dick head", as byrdie calls it, won. I am disappointed in myself but I know that I can do this eventually! Thank you for everyone's support. I hope you do not feel that your words are wasted on me. I hear them all loud and clear and then the voice wins! Sorry guys and gals. Day 1 starts again tomorrow!

DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP!

It took me 23 feckin years to get it luv! :l:l

Just get back up and try again

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Ima...Dick Head is a tough nut. (insert cracks here)

It is a learning curve...if we all could just stop, there'd be no AA, no websites, no support groups of any kind...it would be nothing more than stopping biting yer fingernails...but it's NOT that easy. Kuya actually did do the math and it was 7000 times...mine was probably right in there too...but not until I found this site was I able to get the tools together to do it. You have found us....and you are participating...and you will get this. We all believe in you...because you ARE us!! So let us begin again!! This time, with feeling (as my old piano teacher used to say). B

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Kuya, I've figured out why you are so tired....I think it's your avatar. It's exhausting....Bahahaha. When I read your posts, that little devil just keeps ahopping! I think it makes me read faster....
Thank you for your medical perspective! I've enjoyed reading what is going on in our bodies that makes us act and feel as we do. The ole body is a fascinating machine, when you let it run like it was meant to....B

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

Day 30 in the Big Sober House

Day 30 in the Big Sober House and Big Sober has called Almost Free; Odat and Iamaquitter to the Diary Room. They shuffle in hesitantly.

AF/Odat/Iama: Hi Big Sober.

BIG SOBER: Good evening newbies. How are you?

AF: Good Big Sober.

Odat: Yes, I'm ok, thanks

Iama: Fine...

BIG SOBER: Good. Do you know why i have called you here?

They shake their heads, shuffle their feet and fidget their bottoms on the single swivel chair they've have all been forced to share.

Meanwhile back out in the garden, Stella and Lav are having a gladitorial battle

STELLA: Lav - get away y'hear? I said get away. I am NOT wearing that for Halloween.

LAV: Stella, but you'll look fantastic in it.

STELLA: Fantastic? Frightful - FRIGHTFUL - that's what i'll look like. What's got into you girl? Can't a chook, be a chook? I mean -

LAV: Stella. You will wear this. Y'hear?

STELLA: Never!

Stella lunges forward with her epee, Lav with hers. The hair-raising, slicing, metal sound of their swords swiping off of each other has the other house mates close the patio doors, pull the curtains, and await to see whether this week they'll be having roast chicken or roast lavande. Or Lavande-a-leekie soup. Or Lavande-au-vin. Or Maryland Lavande.

Meanwhile, back in the diary room...

BIG SOBER: There are unwanted characters in this house. Do you know who they are?

Almost Free and Iama shake their heads. Odat ponders a while...

ODAT: One of US?!

BIG SOBER: No.

AF: Phew

BIG SOBER: Definitely not you. But you did bring another unwanted character into the house.

IAMA: We did?

BIG SOBER: You did.

ODAT: Who?

BIG SOBER: In a moment i am going to pull back these curtains here to reveal a window. Through this window you will see a line-up of potential culprits. You each must let me know if you recognise them. Are you ready?

AF/Odat/Iama: Yes, ready.

BIG SOBER: Good. Now, look closely...

Ahead of them, a pair of curtains opened up and, just as Big Sober said, there stood a line up of small folk of indeterminate sex.

BIG SOBER: Recognise any of them?

They stared a while. Looked at each other. Shrugged their shoulders at each other. It seemed that they did not recognise them.

BIG SOBER: Just as I thought. CLOSE THE CURTAINS! Ok, now listen. You are going to hear their voices, but not see who is speaking. Ready?

They nod their heads. A voice comes on...

VOICE 1: So, this is just so fricking stupid. It's just one day, today, we can begin everything tomorrow. So just have it, will you? It'll help you feel better, calm the nerves, quench the thirst, it'll give you some equilibrium and you'll sleep sound. You need it. For medicinal purposes of course.

And then another voice

VOICE 2: Whoohooo... look, look, there it is the off license, the wine shop, the supermarket... yeeehah! Stop the motor. Ok, so we're gonna get some luscious lubrication to get us through the day. Oh yeah, we deserve this, just you and me. Boy, you have worked hard, girl. And all that shit today you had to deal with... how can you sleep with the whirring round your head. Yes, you need it and we're gonna get me a wee party going, just the two of us. Aint that a song, 'just the two of us'? That was written for you and me babe. Here we go: slam on the breaks, get into the mart and get us all some happy juice!

And finally a third voice...

VOICE 3: I know. Really i do. It's shit. You feel shit. And you think i make you feel shit. But i don't sweetheart, really I don't. It's not you, and it's not me. It's just ... it's just everyone else... everything else. It's just where you are in life. There is no problem with me. We are so compatible. Like soul mates. Spiritual allies. If you'll excuse the bad pun. I love you as you love me and you know, YOU KNOW, that if you let me into your life tonight, everything's gonna be alright. For tonight. For tonight is all that matters. You and me.

Almost Free, Odat and Iama sit bolt upright.

BIG SOBER: Recognise them?

They nod their heads

AF: What a dick

Odat: I could kill him, if only i could get my hands on the wee b*****d.

BIG SOBER: We've tried, but Richard Head is a slippery character. In fact there seems to be a version of him for each and every one of us.

Iama: That's a lot of Richard Heads.

BIG SOBER: Well observed. I don't like any Richard Heads in the Big Sober House.

AF: So what do we do...?

BIG SOBER: We must kill the Richard Head!

Meanwhile back out in the garden...

LAV: I'll kill you Stella!

STELLA: Not if i don't kill you first, Lavande.

Lav and Stella continue to threaten each other with their fencing swords, while the nesters celebrate new milestones of sobriety from mere hours, to mere years, over hot chocolate and marshmallows. With extra lashings of the chemically sweetened skooshy cream that is so bad, but yet so deliciously good.

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

iamaquitter28;1393803 wrote: Kuya: Your post is very inspirational. Hearing stories such as yours makes me believe that someday I can kick this. However, today I've failed yet again. Tomorrow is another day.
My plan failed and my "dick head", as byrdie calls it, won. I am disappointed in myself but I know that I can do this eventually! Thank you for everyone's support. I hope you do not feel that your words are wasted on me. I hear them all loud and clear and then the voice wins! Sorry guys and gals. Day 1 starts again tomorrow!

Get it going again tomorrow. That's the important thing right now. We'll be here...eagerly awaiting your Day 1 Roll Call.

[iamaquitter28]

Newbies Nest

I'll be there at roll call. I hate the way I feel right now! Booo me!!! this sucks. drunk sucks, hungover sucks...miserachey right now! sorry if I disappointed!

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

iamaquitter28;1393844 wrote: I'll be there at roll call. I hate the way I feel right now! Booo me!!! this sucks. drunk sucks, hungover sucks...miserachey right now! sorry if I disappointed!

IAM you did not disappoint, you did not even surprise. You are ME and I have forgiven myself for being ONLY human.

[iamaquitter28]

Newbies Nest

I am an alcoholic human...I am quite drunk right now. Today was my day 2 and i failed yet again. I hope some day I can live up to you guys that make it through the first week. I hate that I really feel right now that I am not strong enough! That devil in my head always wins and I hate him for that! another drunk evening...thought I was done. this is so hard! and painful and scary!