Newbies Nest

[nurdl]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Newbies and what a wonderful day it is. Today I am celebrating 60 days AF!!! :happy: :yay: :woot: I feel we need to celebrate our successes as they come to us. The others have no idea what how difficult being AF when you are an alcoholic. It does get easier. I am so looking forward to upcoming trips and celebrating the holidays AF with my family. I don't have to worry about hangovers, trying to find alcohol, feeling so down on myself for drinking because I WILL NOT DRINK!

Thanks to all who have shared a helping hand on my journey. It's time for my to pay it back. Have a great day all. ~nurdl :h

[DorothyFree]

Newbies Nest

I've missed a few days here due to business, LBGT shindig went off well, I didn't drink and felt proud. I'm at 11 days now, and I will not drink tonight. BFF is coming over this afternoon for some support (for her!) and I know I will not drift off and stop paying attention to what she's saying.

I'm surprised at how jacked my memory is even though I'm not drinking. Maybe it's damage done? I still wake up in the morning, come into the kitchen, and think to myself "did I wash all those dishes last night? I have no memory of washing the dishes..." Of course washing the dishes and not remembering it is not much of a problem, at least I'm not waking up to things I don't remember having broken.

RE negative thinking, emily, my take is that I haven't been able to stop having negative thoughts, the kind of therapy that's been most effective for this with me is something called Acceptance and Committment therapy, and the technique there is to just accept you're having the thought, 99% of my thoughts don't come true, and keep doing what I need to do. Anxiety to go. I can feel afraid that people will judge me at the boot store for being fat, and I can still go to the boot store. I don't try to stop my negative thoughts but I don't believe them as much anymore. This reduces the distress I experience from them, even though it doesn't reduce their quantity. "Oh, I'm on the bridge and I'm having that thought again that my car will go into the river, that's that funny thing my mind does doing its thing". "I'm having that thought I'm going to be fired, gosh I have that thought all the time" One phrase from ACT is "never mind your mind" because minds generate all kinds of panic stricken thoughts that have nothing to do with reality. I've got no idea how this would work for you, maybe "I'm having that thought that my business will fail and we're still here, so I'll keep stocking them shelves?" Key is the phrase "I notice I'm having the thought that...." And for drinking "I notice I'm having the thought that I need a drink and I'm not drinking tonight. I notice I'm having an urge to drink, and I think I'll have some tea."

I'm off to go to about a million stores to get boots, flea soap, borax, etc etc. Thank you all for being here. I think the difference between times I've tried to quit before and this time is all of you. I feel like I can do it because of all of you. I'm so grateful.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Welcome to all the newbies!!! And congrats to nurdl! And you survived a hurricane sober!!!!!

RC - I will truly cry if you ever stop the Big Sober House....I laugh out loud every single episode...

Hi minstar! I'm so glad to hear that you're doing well - and a vacation to Florence - ooo la la!!!

As to your question - I've been thinking about it a little bit...and I think it boils down to this...If it were me, I would take some time to figure this out in my own head....you said you feel confident that you won't go back to drinking - but since you were successful at limiting during your vaca - is that something that you're going to keep as an option? Or are you completely going to try to go AF again? If I was going to leave the option open to taste on special occasions - and if I thought I could do it successfully and wanted to, then that would be my current mindset....but if I was dedicated to being AF - then for myself I would look back to the day that I quit letting alcohol rule my life. But I'd also be pretty much on my toes for awhile making sure I didn't slowly go back to where I was before.

I don't think any of us here are really in a position to tell someone what they should do in this instance because it's entirely your choice It IS great to hear from you!!!

busy day for me - I probably won't check in.

-lola

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Scots Lady, Samie, Nannette! Welcome to the nest! You have landed in the best possible place if you are ready to kiss the G/S/R Brothers goodbye! (Guilt/Shame/Remorse). Please read back a couple or three weeks and get to know us! As you can see we have folks is ALL stages of his/her journey! We are so glad you're here! Settle in ....try not to let fear keep you from being the best you can be. I was so afraid of life without AL...I never dreamed it could be as good as it is. Life is still challenging at times, but it's not complicated by an obsession. Well done for finding us!

Fin, I would comment about your new picture, but RC having me in my new role as porn star makes me hesitant to say how handsome you are! Great picture...we will be thinking of you tonight! Just think that as you change your clocks back one hour, Lav, Lola, K9 and I will be ON that clock face looking at you!! They don't have an emoticon for that, do they? You can do it...I've seen you!

KisstheBull....so glad to see you!

Emily, from now until around the time you get your hat, your emotions are going to be all over the place. One minute in total control, the next wondering how you are going to kill the idiot that took your parkiing spot. Please know that this is totally NORMAL. They will even out as the days pile on....I was a bit of a mess, teary then happy, it was nuts! Also, scatterbrain is common, too. You've got a lot going on up there in that noodle..so forgetfulness is very normal. But your gray matter will come back and you'll find that you are as sharp as ever!!! You will honestly feel as if you are finally, on top of your game!!!!!!!! You will have to trust me on this one...but things will get better or I would have never survived and would not still be here preaching it!!! Stay the course! B

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

MinStar, I have been thinking about your question also. It's a toughee. I remember a great (as in big, not terrific) discussion about it on the general boards one time. People were, as you can imagine, divided.
The main goal to remember is this, in my opinion. Don't let whatever happened derail you. If you consider it a blip, then a blip it is. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, this is YOUR quit.
I agree with Lola, what are your goals? How do you feel about the whole thing that happened?
We donta hava nuff eenforrrrm (rolled r's)ation to forma an opinion-a. That's Italian. B

[Benni]

Newbies Nest

New

:new: Hi. I've spent the last few hours reading loads on the site, it seems a great place with lots of support. I'm starting out on day 1 today. I'm anxious but optimistic too. Byrdlady a world without alcohol seems very frightening to me at the moment. It has been my crutch for 27 years, but I really want to see what kind of life I can create for me and my children without it. I look forward to getting to know you all and really hope to be here for the long haul.

Benni

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Benni, I just saw you sneak in!!! Welcome! You will see that many of us have used AL as a crutch for 20some years! I was scared to death....how was I going to go ONE night without it??? Let alone forever? It was too overwhelming to even consider. But here's how we do it around this place. You get thru smaller chunks of time. That's the only way it makes sense. Look at my signature line, you find 2 things there: A link to the Tool Box where you'll kind 100's of tips and coping skills to help you and also something that I believe down to my very core. All you gotta do is make it thru THIS day. We are so glad you've found us. This place saves lives...and I am one of them. Settle on in...you are in very good company. When you are ready, we'd like to hear what brought you by. I would wish you good luck, but luck's got nothing to do with it. The first step is getting control of your mind. Please see the Tool Box...my 'I have a Plan' speech is in there. If I can do this, I KNOW you can, too! B

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Huge congrats Nurdl..
Welcome to all the new folks...great place to learn and get support.
Off to a train thingy...dh is driving....I just know this blob in my eye will go away some day...
Dottie.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Hello & welcome Benni! Welcome back KisstheBull!

Nurdl, a big CONGRATS to you on your 60 AF days!!!!
Makes such a huge difference in your health & overall outlook, doesn't it??

DorothyFree, congrats to you as well for 11 awesome AF days!
I found it actually took me more like 6 months to really regain the use of my brain
We need to be patient with ourselves & remember that our brain will rewire itself in time. It would be lovely if it actually happened overnight but it doesn't. Hang in there

I hope all of the newbies go to the Health store here on the site & download the MWO book. It's a great place to get started. And be sure to look in the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html for lolts of great ideas to help you put together a good plan!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Sorry about all the posts...one of these days I'm going to buy a pencil...
But Nurdl, I just can't help it....I gotta give you 2 hats for 2X30! If giving hats is wrong...I don't wanna be right!!! On behalf of the Newbie's, please accept these! :day5::day5:

[Catbuddy]

Newbies Nest

Fly by

:welcome: Good morning, all.

Busy day, but wanted to check in and say Happy AF Saturday. Nurdl, congratulations! Was the second month easier than the first? (hope so). Welcome to all our newbies! I'm just past one month, and experienced all the emotions you are having. Especially the idea that although AL was ruining my days, I could not fathom a life without it. I'm still wrestling through the stages of acceptance on that, but just know you won't be stuck in your feelings forever. They do move along.

It's a damp cold here this morning. Going to bundle up for a hike.

Cat

[Benni]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for the warm welcome and advice. The toolbox seems like the place for me to be today

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Day 3 today. If you recall, I had 47 AF days back in August and September. Then I went 30 AF days just ending last week. And now I'm starting a new chunk of AF time - still with the help of Antabuse. I've been a rollercoaster of emotions the last few days - mad one minute, depressed as crap the next, ill at strangers the next - all combined with a mixture of anxiety, guilt, and remorse.

Now that day 3 is coming to a close, those negative feelings are starting to subside, and I'm getting myself back. I went to the farmers market today and stocked up on vegetables. My house is clean again, and I'm ready to catch up on work tomorrow so I can start off next week like a normal, productive person.

Over the past three months, I've lost 10 pounds, which I am very proud of. However, I went back in to Weight Watchers today, and I'm up a pound - no doubt from my alcohol and junk food bender last week. I've been feeling like a fat cow all day :-(

Then, of course I get the phone calls to go out and have bloody marys. No thanks, guys. I've got stuff to do. But honestly, that whole thing just made me mad. Why the hell can't I just be a normal person who can make plans and have a drink once in a while?

But I'm not getting on that pity train. I am who I am, and right now, I'm an alcohol addict. So is life...

I'm gonna take that damn pill every day from now on. I can tell you all day that I stopped taking it last week just because I forgot, but the truth is that YES I was ready to test the waters again. And tested I did.....and failed.

I'm back, folks. And this time, I am more determined than ever to stay sober during the holidays and keep losing weight!

Have a great nite, everyone, and don't forget to turn back your clock an hour if you're in the USA!

[Next, please]

Newbies Nest

Nurdl- Congratulations!!

Rooni- I can so relate to everything in your post except I haven't tried Antabuse.

Day 2. It's gorgeous outside. Would love to open a nice cold bottle of Chard. Huh, or would I? Okay part of me does and part of me doesn't. Point is, I'm not.

K-9 thank yo for the advice that; if you drink at home...get out. If you drink out, stay home. I drink at home so am leaving the premise now!

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Nurdl, way to go!!!!!!!!!!!!

Very well done!

AK