Newbies Nest

[hitting40]

Newbies Nest

Hi all day 1 again for me, went a bit mental after my birthday celebrations, ended up drinking most nights so back on the straight and narrow now. have to get my blood pressure monitored for 24 hours this week as it is unusally high and i bet its down to drinking too much, has anyone else suffered with high blood pressure because of alcohol.

[Snapdragon]

Newbies Nest

Morning everyone - hope you're all doing OK today! Am I the only one who reads through all of the posts and thinks 'I must comment on that' but by the time I hit the reply button I can't for the life of me remember who it was that said what!! Maybe with a bit more AF time under my belt my mind will be less fuddled :H

Very impressed by those of you who can talk on the phone and type at the same time! That sure is multi-tasking!

Well - had a lovely weekend. It was bonfire night in the UK on Saturday (it is actually today - but most people light theirs on the weekend). Hubby and I took the opportunity to clear up loads of rubbish, chopped down lots of trees and had the most enormous bonfire! It's still smoking slightly today, despite the fact that it rained all day yesterday! It was a really romantic eve - we sat by the fire eating Cullen Skink (a Scottish smoked Haddock and potato soup) delicious!

Anyway - that's my fun over for now - just off to the dentist to have a crown - the cost is more painful that the actual work!! Wish me luck!

[iamaquitter28]

Newbies Nest

hitting40: My sister, at just 36 years old, has really high blood pressure and is on medication for it. She is pretty skinny and, other than drinking 2 boxes a night, she is healthy. Went to the dr for an unrelated cause and found that her BP was insanely out of control. Did she stop drinking, NO! She doesn't think she has a problem and does not believe that the high BP is from alcohol consumption. Hopefully she'll get it before it's too late!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Chilly in my portion of the nest!!!

hitting40, sorry to hear that you decided to drink again - no such thing as one or two, huh?
Yes, I did suffer high blood pressure related to drinking & stress created by my husband
I've been on medication, an exercise program, healthy eating, no drinking or smoking & learned some stress management techniques. My B/P is fine now - it takes work but you can do it too.

Snapdragon, good luck at the dentist - i'm having crown work done now too, small world :H

Wishing everyone a great AF Monday!
Lav

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Hey hitting40 – you’ve got a great opportunity here to tell others – while it’s fresh in your mind – exactly how easy it was to get right back in the routine of drinking – even with a slow start, and good intentions. It was two weeks ago, that you were feeling good that you had limited your amounts over your birthday – but it really is so hard…you think you’ve got a hold on it, but before you know it, it has a hold on you. This is why some of us try so hard to get folks to reconsider taking that first sip and thinking that they’re “ok”….I’m not trying to single you out - I’m so happy that you’re back – and really hope you can elaborate on your experience a bit – as there’s nothing like the words of someone who’s recently “been there”….to remind others how easily it is to go right back to the way things were.

Nanette, I didn’t say welcome – I am enjoying hearing about stella2…☺ You’re done with 3 days already!!! Fantastic job.

Iama – I’ m glad you’re back also…sorry, I’m reading back, as I’m typing. You also know from very recent experience – what I said to hitting40….It’s all a learning experience…now you can say Been There Done That….don’t have to do it again.

Snap : “Maybe with a bit more AF time under my belt my mind will be less fuddled “ - Don’t count on it!!! – LOL

We used to have some friends from the UK that invited us to Guy Fawkes night every year – it was great! They moved away and I had kind of forgotten about it.

matchee, you ok?

Welcome wizz – change, congrats on your 7 days! Hello to everybody else!

-lola

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Back on day 1 again! Unfortunately if is so easy to get back in the routine of drinking but so hard to get back in the routine of not drinking. I am really struggling to get started again. Usually when this happens I would stay away from here until I feel I can do it, but as you can all see, I am just staying here and I know my constant day 1 is annoying but to do it away from here is so much worse.
So I apologise for being annoying but I know I will get there.....getting the first week is always the toughest for me.....here I go again!!!!
Watching the struggle to get back - please all of you with good AF time under your belt....take note

[iamaquitter28]

Newbies Nest

Daisy: I feel your pain. I have had more day 1's than I'd like to admit. I always feel so ashamed coming back on here and admitting to it and that's what kept me off for the last week. I didn't want to fess up to the fact that I had gone right back to my old self. Well, staying off MWO for that week, I believe is what kept me drinking. I feel like everyone on here must be thinking Jeez, give it up. How many day one's can you possibly have until you realize that you just can't do it, or people get annoyed hearing that I slipped up yet again only 3 or 4 days in. But deep down, when I stop pitying myself for screwing up again, I realize that almost everyone on here has been through this. The constant day 1's and all and a ton of them can now say they've been sober for months or years. No one here judges you, or me, or anyone else. We are here for support to get you through this, as well as get ourselves through it, not to judge!!! Dust yourself off and jump back on the wagon!
Lolab: You are very right. I am so sick of being there and doing that, LOL. I'm ready for a new life, a sober one!!!
Day 2, here we go. I didn't sleep at all last night. I found myself craving a drink at 2am just to get a wink of "sleep". I closed my eyes at 9pm and laid there with them just closed, not sleeping until about 2:30. I am crazy tired but I promised myself I'd jump on the treadmill this morning and that is exactly what I am going to do (as much as I don't want to). That is how I am going to live my life from here on out. If I make a promise to myself, I am damn sure going to keep it. I promise myself that I will not drink today and I intend on keeping that promise!!! One day at a time right?!? Have a wonderful day everyone and thank you for the warm welcomes back! And welcome to all of the newbies!!!!

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

yes, Daisy - just like iama said - nobody here gets sick of hearing about day 1's....what breaks my heart is when people just go away...If you stay, and keep working at it - and keep trying to figure out what you could have done differently, change your plan - and want it - above else, you'll get there. But it won't happen by just thinking that this is the time....or by feeling strongly about it on your day 1...we all know the strength of that resolve fades - so staying here and reading and posting and working on your plan and changing something this time - those are all crucial....nobody's going to be annoyed really! But we will ask the tough questions that will hopefully help you turn that corner. :-):l

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

daisy45;1406041 wrote: Back on day 1 again! Unfortunately if is so easy to get back in the routine of drinking but so hard to get back in the routine of not drinking. I am really struggling to get started again. Usually when this happens I would stay away from here until I feel I can do it, but as you can all see, I am just staying here and I know my constant day 1 is annoying but to do it away from here is so much worse.
So I apologise for being annoying but I know I will get there.....getting the first week is always the toughest for me.....here I go again!!!!
Watching the struggle to get back - please all of you with good AF time under your belt....take note

No apologies needed here. Trust me. We've all been/are still in your shoes. Sometimes I think I'm the only one who's had a gazillion day ones, but I know that's not true. If this were easy, we wouldn't be here, right?

I guess the trick of the whole thing is to figure out just what makes a certain day one end up being your last day one. Does something just click? Maybe for some. Or maybe it's something more catastrophic for other people - a warning from a doctor, a DUI, etc. Regardless, there's something out there....waiting....and when you finally find it, you'll know that you've just made your last exit onto the sober road. Man, that sober road feels so good, doesn't it? I mean sure, you still have your ups and downs and roadblocks and all, but those things are so bearable when you have a clear head.

A clear head - that's what I have today, and I am grateful for it.

Keep trucking, Daisy, and find that "thing" that's going to finally make it click for you. It's out there.

matchee - feeling for you today. I know what divorce is like. I was drunk all the way through it, but you don't have to be. Like someone said, turn a bad thing into something great. Make your spouse realize how great you are - because you are! :l

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Daisy and Iama...I wish I could say that I was immediately able to identify the problem I had with AL, and was therefore able to put an end to the cycle rather than repeat it. After all, it seems pretty obvious, doesn't it? Alas, I did not.

I also wish I had a few good words or quotes to spew out, but I don't. This is addicition and it IS HARD to break. Somewhere I did read the words, 'There's a lot more to quitting drinking than just quitting drinking'....boy ain't that the truth. There are the endless headgames.

It's a tale of 2 minds. It is the best of times and the worst of times. It is just exhausting. When you are ready to get Bastard AL out of your life once and for all, you will know it and you will find the strength to say NO more! I give up....YOU win. I'm not going to fight you any more. Beneath all the chilled glasses and fruty and clever names, Bastard AL hides. Behind all the answers we think it will give us, it gives us nothing but dispair. I hate AL. And if you aren't there yet, you soon will be. You will get nothing but support here...Hells Bells, Kuya figured up she had 7000 day 1's and I'm not far behind that. Is it easy? No, it isn't. But you won't believe what's on the other side. All this turmoil in your head day after day will be quieted. There is finally peace.

You can bet on one thing, the people in this nest and on this site will be right by your side. As long as you reach up a hand, you better believe someone will grab it. Today is Monday, November 5, 2012. Let's make this an important day. Let's make this the day you took your life back. We'll be right here with you. Byrdie

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

daisy45;1406041 wrote: Back on day 1 again! Unfortunately if is so easy to get back in the routine of drinking but so hard to get back in the routine of not drinking. I am really struggling to get started again. Usually when this happens I would stay away from here until I feel I can do it, but as you can all see, I am just staying here and I know my constant day 1 is annoying but to do it away from here is so much worse.
So I apologise for being annoying but I know I will get there.....getting the first week is always the toughest for me.....here I go again!!!!
Watching the struggle to get back - please all of you with good AF time under your belt....take note

Daisy, I'm Day 2 again. That said, my cave was minimal at 2 beers which were spread out over three hours. While a trip again, I still chalk this whole effort up as a success compared to where I was 5 weeks ago. Any progress is progress nonetheless, so hang in there and just keep at it.

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Thank you all; like Dr Phil would say 'this isn't my first rodeo!'
I have been here before. This year I have had more AF time than any other, which is good. I know I got that through determination to lick this thing before the year is out. I suppose the closer I get to the end of year I feel more annoyed with myself.....
I will do my best today - that is all I can do. Maybe having a time limit added pressure so I will let go of that as of now.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Can you look at your plans and see what needs to be reinforced? Do you see where the patches need to be shored?

When I continued to fall...someone said something to me that at the time, I thought was cruel....but in hindsight, it was the truth....and it hurt. I was spouting off that I'd had X number of AF days as opposed to last year and that I considered that a 'WIN'. I wasn't hurting myself as badly as I once had. While that was true...this was even more so.....ONE drink is too many for us. OUCH! But no truer words have been spoken. These are words that hit me....maybe you aren't like I was. But if AL is causing you NOTHING but problems, and is leading you around life by the nose....well, you might pull up a twig next to me. It's not so bad over here, in fact this is the best I've ever felt....Now I know, and I can get on with it instead of fooling myself and bargaining with a loaded gun.

Reinforce you plan...dig your heels in and say NO, HELL NO! AL will not take one more day of my life! If I can do it....you can too! B

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

yep Byrdie, that makes me think of when Lav asked why there was vodka in my house. I got annoyed...and I think that's what happens when those tough questions get asked...(while you might not think Lav's question was a "tough" one - I did...I thought it was nosy and she was assuming that I didn't have enough control to leave it alone.....ummm - she was right.) when we don't "want" to see things from a certain angle, we put up a wall, and get defensive....and that was my downfall for awhile. And there was something about having the alcohol in my body that somehow supported that defensiveness...it sounds weird - but a night of drinking - even if it wasn't a bad one - somehow snuck in there and strengthened that part of me that was pissed off and annoyed at people that didn't drink....That was why I stayed away - because the cocky alcohol voice was keeping ME annoyed at the people here....like "they don't know me....they don't know my life...they don't know why there's vodka still in my house....and how dare they question it..."

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie, thank you for that - hurts, yes, but then the truth does, doesn't it?