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    Newbies Nest

    OOPs, Bennii- I accidentally left you off my list earlier, sorry!
    Welcome to the nest and you are off to a great start. I know Byrdie mentioned the toolbox to you over the weekend. Hope you are finding lots of good advice in there and settling in. Just get a cozy spot and read and post away. You are in the right place to get well!
    :heartbeat:

    Star:star:

    08-13-15

    I am only one drink away from never being sober again.

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      Newbies Nest

      I have a lot going on in my life and this past week have felt so overwhelmed. I was going to jack in my course as I have been doubting myself. Then, after a lot of soul-searching and reading on here and posting today, I have realised that the only reason I wouldn't be able to deal with it all, is if I continue drinking. With drinking out of the equation, I can time-manage and fit it all in. I am so glad I did not cancel my course today. Went tonight and handed my draft assignments in and found the rest of the class were worrying too, so it didn't seem so bad. I purposely have built a life around me that requires me to be AF; there was only one part of that equation to be solved and that was to 'just do it', quit 'bullshitting' myself (thanks guys!) . I am the only person that was holding myself back.
      IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
      Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

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        Newbies Nest

        Daisy, I have felt a big weight all day today because of my post this morning....This addiction is so hard....and made harder when we hold ourselves back. I am so glad you checked back in with this news. It is like a weight is lifted when you finally take the AL option out of the picture. It's like you can get on with things and deal with them and not have to try and fit AL in. I am so glad you carried on with your course and are making the changes needed to succeed. I'm so proud of you!!! B
        All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
        Tool Box
        Newbie's Nest

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          Newbies Nest

          ....and right now I am so grateful to you......
          IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
          Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

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            Newbies Nest

            allankay;1406237 wrote: Good Day all!

            Finished my first day at work. Very happy so far. However, I will be unable to post in the day time anymore as I have lost my phone privileges I mean I actually have to leave my phone in a designated locker before entering the office. It?s a whole security thing. WOW it?s a first. But I guess it?s fair when you are around sensitive information all day long and with a Smartphone you can potentially transmit large amounts of information without being noticed.

            Very hungry, as I have not got my idea card yet which is used to buy food in the canteen.

            Evening guys.

            ALLAN
            Glad it went well Allan, youse quite the 007 now aren't you? :H:H

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              Newbies Nest

              iamaquitter28;1406228 wrote: A quick mid-afternoon hello to everyone. I'm having a really good day today. I came to a realization that made me cry this morning. If I don't stop drinking my 4 year old could potentially be forced to grow up without me. How would she feel feeling like I didn't care enough to quit for her and I basically drank myself to death? So, I cried for a bit and thought long and hard about the one best thing that has ever happened to me and what I am doing to her. I mean, I am a really good, loving, nurturing mother with or without AL but is she really getting ALL of me? I'm done with this shit! I picked her up from school and we went out and spent the day and had lunch and laughed and just enjoyed each other. So, I have a plan and it's NOT going to fail this time. It can't, for her, it can't. AL can go F itself and all the agony and embarrassment it's brought into my life! It has taken away way too many of my days and this shit is done! Sorry for the anger but I feel so angry that it took me so long to feel this way but at least I do now and it's not too late! Well, I'm going to go have another good cry and I'll check back in later. Hope everyone is having a fantastic AF day!!!
              IAM ...... You and I have interacted loads on here and my heart soared when I read this! Everyone needs a final decision. K9 states that she loved her daughter more than alcohol, I worked out that if I kept drinking the way I was my daughter would be without a mother before she was 16. No graduations, no college, no boyfriends (or girlfriends if that is her way), no marriage, no grandchildren and all because I LOVED a drink MORE than her.

              You will soon be staying sober for you AND her, but for the moment carry her photo with you and look at it every time you feel like giving in and imagine her world without you.

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                Newbies Nest

                Thank you guys for acknowledging my mile stone I can't remember when I've ever gone 7 days, and it's all due to the support and information from this site. I appreciate your responses, encouragement, and advice, and am looking forward to many more milestones!! inkele:
                http://baclofentreatment.com/
                http://www.theendofmyaddiction.org
                http://www.theendofmyaddiction.org/f...or-alcoholism/

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                  Newbies Nest

                  Evening all,
                  Day with dad was good..doc took way too long...exam was long but I think that is because I am there and asking questions and he cant bs me like he could do with dad....anyway dads body is in great shape...mind not so much but he is on meds and not much else he can do...doc told him not to drive but up the road close to home for groceries and food out...that was good but dad wont remenber....ah well I am doing the best I can.....

                  Eye blob is getting smaller and smaller..WooHoo....I think it will fade off into oblivion soon..

                  Dottie
                  Dottie

                  Newbie's Nest

                  Tool Box
                  ____________
                  AF 9.1.2013

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                    Newbies Nest

                    It is hard to watch our parents get old. I have been there and I will be thinking of you. I am glad Eye Blob is getting smaller too.

                    Stella and I had a ok day. Fuzzy head and dizzy the last few days. Had a nap. This seems to help for a while.
                    AF Since 11/02/12 :wings::bananacomputer::lilangel:

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                      Newbies Nest

                      Today is day 14 for me. I feel good.
                      Snapdragon, I'm with you in that I can't remember who said what when I get to the end. So today I took notes. My brain is still addled, and my BFF who works in a free health clinic told me that it could be that way for 6 months - or what she said rather was that I would continue to improve over 6 months, and be left w/what I have after 6 months. Sort of grim. But not as bad as drinking.
                      Matchee, I'm sorry about your divorce and I hope you keep coming back. I drank my way through a divorce (from a man) in my 20's and then quit and got healthy and had a lot of fun for a while, had a trauma (awareness under anesthesia) and started up again, quit to be with a woman I liked who was AF (and had a secret crack addiction...) then found the woman I believed was the love of my life.....gradually drank more with her throughout that relationship and I think it destroyed my relationship. She never asked me to cut down but the depression and physical disability were too much for her. We used to knock each other off the wagon all the time - I'd try to quit, she'd try to quit, one of us would fail, both of us would fail. I drank through our separation this past February - we got illegally married 5 yrs ago, had a big wedding, but if you're not legally married you can't get legally divorced, which seemed weird and unfinished. We are still pals though. At any rate now that I haven't drank for 2 weeks I don't miss her as much. It feels like this is the way to a meaningful life without her, and I don't think I could stay sober with her living with me. I know I'll never love again if I keep drinking, who would put up with me? Sorry for the ramblings, I guess I mean to say that life is complicated and you may find out in the end that it's easier to stay sober w/out her. I didn't realize all the ways she was making me miserable until she left.
                      Hitting40, blood pressure goes up during a drinking event esp. when you are drinking a lot, and drinking a lot for a long time increases blood pressure overall. Good news is quitting helps, you can get that back.
                      Quitter and Daisy, I don't mind your day 1's. Your tales of woe when you return help me remember I don't want any more day 1's (already had plenty) and I'll love your day 30's too, and there will always be more day 1's to remind us when we get there.

                      Sorry for the long post, I guess I'm avoiding progress notes again...but I don't have so many, I'll get them done. I also wanted to tell a little of my tale and offer some support instead of just receiving. I hope to get better at that here. I do it all day at the office, but here I get to be a person who is f*cked up too and you can't imagine what a relief that is.

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                        Newbies Nest

                        DotFree; well done on your 14 days! You're doing great....
                        IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
                        Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

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                          Newbies Nest

                          "blood pressure goes up during a drinking event esp. when you are drinking a lot, and drinking a lot for a long time increases blood pressure overall. Good news is quitting helps, you can get that back."
                          Yep my BP is normal after 36 sober days...and now instead of being hot all the time I am freezing....and now finally losing a little weight....all good things....
                          Dottie
                          Dottie

                          Newbie's Nest

                          Tool Box
                          ____________
                          AF 9.1.2013

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                            Newbies Nest

                            Hi Allan, good news about the new job!

                            Mom2JTX3, great job on your week! That first week is a toughie. We kind of have to learn how to live again after quitting.

                            Benni, welcome back, I remember you from when you had just the one "i!"

                            When it is getting rough, you need to get grateful, folks. That has saved my bacon more than once. Make a mental list of all the things you can be grateful for regarding quitting drinking. Starfish, you sound like you got some good thoughts going on. The AF life is such a gift, it's just a shame what we had to pay to get there. Have a great AF night, friends.
                            "When you have faults, do not fear to abandon them." Analects of Confucius
                            AF 11/12/11

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                              Newbies Nest

                              Hello, everyone:
                              It's hard to keep everyone's milestones Esp when my phone's screen is so tiny. But definitely congrats to mom and dorothyfree. And I think anyone who's here trying deserves a pat on the back! My son gets so frustrated when he doesn't get a piano piece right, but I have to remind him it's the fact that he is trying that matters. I'm also trying to get more AF days in. Everyday counts and it does get easier. I really love the freedom of not worrying about how much alcohol is left in the house.

                              Lets all try for another AF day together!
                              Alcoholic (or Ally)

                              "Only a fool knows everything.
                              A wise man knows how little he knows."

                              Please feel free to block/ignore my posts through your control panel.

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                                Newbies Nest

                                Hi Dorothy Free,

                                Interesting post about blood pressure and alcohol. I've always had (inherited) low blood pressure. To the point where the nurse would check twice to make sure it was right, like 90/50. As I've gotten older it's gotten slightly higher but I've seen no real relation to alcohol and bp. Also, DF, I'd like to properly address you but can you clarify if you are male or female? I wasn't clear from your post? It looks like you've been married twice but not sure if its in the US or outside? Don't want to make assumptions. Best, Raven

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