Newbies Nest

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Hi all; you all sound upbeat today - great!
Day 2 and it feels a bit further on. I am going to hang around here for a while. I wasn't sure I could start yesterday but thanks to coming here, I did and it was a great one. I felt things were possible again. Was seriously getting into that negative thinking again and needed to realise alcohol was the main component.
Lav, thank you. It's been 2 years this month since I came here and I want it to be for good. When I think how I was when I came. There have been so many changes and I have planned and carried those plans out - so why, when I really have done everything I'm supposed to, was I still going back and finding myself in the same situation. BULLSHITTING MYSELF!!!! I am here today saying to myself 'you fool, how could you be so blind?'
When I look back over the years I did not see how big my problem was until I came here and with hindsight, the whole thing came smashing into me - what had I done? So I started working on it; yet again I am saying the same thing but about 'why is this not sticking?' I feel something kicked in yesterday and the day before.....one drink is my downfall and I need to live by that when I feel fit and well and wonder 'what if?'
Sure I already know, over 2 years of having 'just one' hasn't worked.........always 2 bottles a night, no matter what, so I need to 'know' that now and not 'wonder what if?'

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Newbies Nest - Thank You

Hi All,

I thought I should share a post I put over in the 30-Day AF Monthly Moderation thread as I think it's time I move on from the daily comforts of The Nest. There are so many good things happening here, but I'm on a new trajectory which has the potential of becoming a distraction to those really struggling with the early days of this battle we all know and face each day. Anyway, I didn't want to just disappear without expressing my most sincere gratitude and thanks to each of you who have played major roles in any success I have had facing AL and its detriments. In that spirit, please never hesitate to reach out to me in the future if I can be of any help as I'll surely be around for a good long time.

Until then, stay the course and see you in Roll Call. I'll be watching, so be good!

----------------- 30-Day AF Monthly Moderation Post -----------------

I've done my "30 days", so to speak. I'm now on a path that is principally abstinent and when I do slip, I'm done beating myself up over small social indulgences that set me back to zero on the AF counter. This site and community have been instrumental in getting what was a really bad habit back into control and at the beginning of every day, that has been my principal goal.

I say beginning vs. end of the day as my entire outlook on the quality of my life seems to be defined in the first two minutes after I awake in the early mornings (day starts ~5:30 AM). As we all know, waking up hungover is the ultimate spirit crusher. Now that I'm (we are) clear again, words can hardly express that sense that we are perfectly adapted to live cleanly. Everything works better. Our muscles, eyes, mind, temperament, sense of smell, what we hear and don't hear and on and on.

In my mind it seems like we are all as close to perfection (living peacefully and lovingly) as we can be when we are not dependent on AL or drugs to filter out the myriad of details that constitute a life. Does it take guts? You bet it does and that's why I so respect everyone on this site regardless of their individual struggles and definitions of success / failure. This shit takes True Grit especially since the commitment is in direct opposition of the collective culture we find ourselves living in!

Okay, off to study. Have a great day everyone.

Be good,
-Fin

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

awww....thanks for the update Fin - Best of luck to you...and you be good too.

lola

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Lovely post Fin. Right behind you.....

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters! Everyone sounds great! The power of our own minds is just amazing. I will NEVER UNDERESTIMATE the power of addiction. It is the most cunning opponent I have ever encountered. I am charting new water every day....so when you say 'this is the longest I've ever been AF in my adult life'....me,too. And I'm loving it!

Bennii, if you keep changing your name you are going to have about 3 or 4 hats when you hit 30 days! Nanette, so glad that you stuck with the name Stella 2, also...it was fitting! I need to head over to the roll call and see if there are any moons to be awarded!

I'm in the prize closet now getting Patrick's hat ready!! I admire the way you identified the problem...isolated the solution, and plotted a course to fix it. You are a man of few words, but I hope you will have some for us tomorrow (acceptance speech!). You don't have to, of course...but it's such a big milestone.

Here's to an AF day! Every day that you put between you and AL is a win! Byrdie

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

just to clear up confusion - when Daisy said right behind you - I realized that you said abstinence thread, but if someone were to look for you - your post was from the 30 day monthly moderation thread. Nobody read anything into this, please! It just got a bit confusing.

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

lolab;1406723 wrote: just to clear up confusion - when Daisy said right behind you - I realized that you said abstinence thread, but if someone were to look for you - your post was from the 30 day monthly moderation thread. Nobody read anything into this, please! It just got a bit confusing.

Classic Freudian slip? I'll fix it.

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Sorry about that lolaB; I meant 'right behind you' as in I am day 2 and Fin on day 3!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Fin! Great to see you! So glad that you are finding your best fit! That is the most important thing in this journey! We'll be here if you need us! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Well now ~ I'm totally confused :H :H

Good mid-morning Nesters,

I was called at 7 am for some emergency babysitting. My son was held over late on his overnight shift & my DIL needed to get to her internship so........
I'm just grateful that I can jump into action when needed & not have to deal with the old foggy-headed mornings anymore

Catbuddy, I think we all heal at our own rate. Just trust that provided you stay on your path that you will feel better soon enough. I felt a big difference physically at 6 months & even more at 1 year. It took me a lot more time to feel emotionally confident because I had abused myself for about 10 years. The healing process takes time but there it a lot we can do to help it along (nutrition, exercise, meditation, etc).

Emily, living a fraud-free life rocks

Greetings Kuya, Nurdl, Ima, Lola, yogamom & Dottie! Congrats on the vision Dottie :yay:
Hello Alcoholic, daisy & Fin! Daisy, the bullshit factor was HUGE for me. I am grateful that Doggygirl & greenie called me on it nearly 4 years ago. Fin, I wish you the best on whatever path you choose.

Byrdie, I think you're going to need a warehouse to hold all the prizes you hand out around here :H

Wishing everyone a great AF Election day - get out & vote fellow Americans!
Lav

[Nanette]

Newbies Nest

WOW DAY 5 for Stella and myself! I was actually just chuckling about my post about being fuzzy in the head and feeling unwell?! Really, is this different? I felt fuzzy in the head and sick everyday when I was drinking. Too funny. I will check in later. Thank you to everyone for being here. I enjoy all the banter and helpful hints.

Have a great day everyone.:yay:

[Nanette]

Newbies Nest

P.S. Is there a website for Smiley addicts? LOL

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

I didn't sleep well last night but that is not bothering me as I know it all comes good. Tomorrow I will start my 8am swims again - let that go as well. I find with the exercise and early morning swim I am actually far more productive which results in better sleep.
Feeling very positive and just back from shopping for some good whole foods. Heading to my class again shortly. It is 4 hours 2 nights a week.
Hi Byrdie and Lav - I am hanging on your every word!
Nanette and Stella, well done!

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone!

WOW...I feel exhausted catching up around here! Welcome to all the Newbies...I really wish my brain was functional enough to remember everybody's names. I know we have a new Stella the Flower, and then there's Bennii, and I know there were others....welcome one and all!

Fin - Stop in and visit us once in a while ok? Don't forget...WE'LL be watching YOU too! :l

I had a nice 3 day weekend...went out of town then took yesterday off to "rest", which turned out good since I had a horrible sore throat and headache (still do!).

Well today is day 316 for me...and over the weekend I actually had thoughts of "If I quit Antabuse today I could drink next Friday"...I mean REALLY! I didn't overanalyze it...I accepted the thought and let it go. I'm telling this story so that people don't get discouraged by drinking thoughts...that's all they are, thoughts. We don't HAVE to act on them. A craving never killed anybody. Please don't ever get discouraged by thoughts, they can happen to anyone at anytime...I've accepted that they will probably pop up for the rest of my life, and that's OK. It's what I do with them that matters.

Everyone have a great day...and remember, a craving will never last as long as a hangover, and you'll never wake up in the morning wishing you drank the night before.

Be strong and show the beast who's BOSS.

xoxox
K9

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

K9, so good to see you! It still happens to me, too! You'd think that after almost 22 months that it would just not pop in anymore. They do, and there are some times that I will shift into a Pity Party mode. "The whole Free World can drink with impunity, except meeeee......(sniff, sniff)". I give myself a good slap, and say, Looka here, your life has never been better, you are out from under the cloud of lies and sneaking to the closet for 7 gulps of vodka or wine! I actually store throw pillows in my ottoman now instead of empties! It doesn't take long to snap out of it and realize that everyone feels this way from time to time. It's a normal part of healing.
Nanners...E.A. Emoticon's Annon...Emot-annon.... WWAS is also a place to go (Women who Abuse Smileys). WWSTM...Women who Smile Too Much! Lola told me the other day it was National Emoticon Day, or some such...you shoulda seen THAT post! (it got ugly).
Daisy, your resolve is solid....remember, all you gotta do is get thru this day!! XXOO, B